lotte world

@✦ felix lee 。 invisibility... i can't imagine the sun going invisible you know
/indirectly calls you the sun, my sun, my sunshine as i say those words, because to me you are literal sunshine and you make everything you touch much warmer and brighter
you do heal me. you just haven't wrapped your head around i need a different kind of healing than the type i give out to others. and i already get the type i need from you
/boops your nose with my finger when i finish explaining, smiling back at you and nodding when you tell me to be careful of my hand
/snorts when you tell me i'm beautiful, shaking my head but leaning my head against your own as you lean on my shoulder, closing my eyelids as i do so
comfy?
/asks before i kiss the top of your head, nuzzling your hair with my cheek for a few moments before i tip my head back, looking up at night sky
here, sunshine
/reaching my hand out, i gently tip your chin back as i hold it, letting you look up at the stars instead of down, the evening sky making them a lot easier to view
look up at the stars for me

@✦ bang chan 。 mmn, yeah. just you reading minds.
i dunno what i wanted to do when i was a kid.
most of the time i answered with something stupid like invisibility. now i just think thats... just lonely.
/a small laugh leaves my lips as i contemplate my statement, wondering if it stems from something deeper, but instead of thinking too much on it i shake my head
you're good at healing people. i just wish you'd let people do the same for you, sometimes.
you know?
/looking to you, i offer a small smile before shaking my head once more in response to your apologizing, tsking and frowning at your actions with soft chiding
be careful, please?
/our thoughts are along the same vein even if we dont share them out loud, my love for you overflowing to the point where im warm from the inside out, my fingers squeezing your hand as i think about it
/your question has me blinking, and i tear my eyes from what it looks like outside of the ferris wheel to look at you, unaware that you had been looking at me this entire time and instead smiling widely as i nod
yeah. you are.
/leans in to gently rest my head on your shoulder, hugging your arm to my chest while still holding your hand, content to be this close while on the ride

@✦ felix lee 。 mmh, you're right, telepathy. the other one is telekinesis but i don't think you mean me moving things around with my mind
just me reading minds, right?
the healing i can agree with. when i was younger i wanted to be something cool like... fire? and i think i might have been as harmful as it can be at times
but the older i've gotten, the more i feel comfortable healing others and know i'm like some kind of light people can come to when they feel lost. i don't need anything back, nothing beyond others happiness
/explains quietly as you swing our hands together, realising i'm rambling again so i clear my throat, lifting my other hand to rub my head but i remember too late its the sore one, making me wince and then laugh at myself as i lower it
it gives me all the fulfillment i could need
/adds softly, looking at you after and its all in my gaze, to say to you that you mean more to me than you could ever know, you saved me as much as i found you and it reminds me each day why any moment with you, to be existing at the same time as you, is a a blessing i'll never become complacent with
we are pretty great together, huh?
/while you're watching the world around us come into a clearer view, i've turned my attention from it to look at you instead, leaning back in my seat while you hold my hand
/it allows me to watch you in some secrecy, admiring how you look at the world and go past your initial fear to now enjoy the views from up here, its ironically close to many of the things i've seen you overcome in life
beautiful, isn't it?
/asks as i haven't budged my gaze even an inch, still gazing at you lovingly as a warm smile is plastered over my lips, eyes swimming with the utmost love for you, finally turning my head though before you can see me staring, my smile still in place

@✦ bang chan 。 its... its kind of like a super power.
if you were a super hero, you'd have like... healing powers, and like.. what is it called? telepathy or something?
i mean... i like it. when you do it, for me.
probably sounds a little weird, but... yeah.
/shrugging a little, i lean in and plant a kiss on your cheek, murmuring something about you not needing to apologize before i give our hands a small swing
/your words have me smiling a little, and i look over to you with adoration in my gaze, a soft sigh passing my lips as i murmur
our love is pretty strong, i think.
we're.. we're pretty great together.
/a small laugh leaves my lips before i nod at your promise, pleased and trusting of you regardless, and as we wait in line i look up toward the ferris wheel, swaying a little on my feet just at the height
woah...
/whispers before we're climbing in, my legs feeling like jelly as you help me climb in, and i take a deep breath, holding it for too long as you get me buckled, my hand instantly slipping into yours the second we begin to move
/my grip is tight on your hand, my other hand curled around the belt, and it takes a moment before i can lift my gaze from my feet to look at you, catching a glimpse of everything else from the cart
oh...

@✦ felix lee 。 i don't mean to do it! but i just... i just see into people
like i can see the things they think and want to say before they've even realised it themselves sometimes
i don't know. normally i don't even say anything because it unnerves people, or i'm frightened to make them uncomfortable
/rambles a little before i try and brush it off, apologising quietly when i catch myself doing it and eventually stop, shaking my head after a little bit
yeah-
/blinks as you talk about other lives, not because i don't agree but because i've felt that too and it touches me to just hear you say it aloud for me as well
yeah in our future lives too. even if by some chance, its not romance for us in those other lives, i'll still be there for you
i'll be there as your best friend and your soulmate. no matter what
/brushes my thumb over your hand as i walk with you, looking up at the ferris wheel and then back at you, smiling to myself when you ask if i'll try anything funny
i won't, promise. you'll be safe with me and get to enjoy the view at the same time. you can keep holding my hand the entire time
/murmurs as we line up, the wait short and i'm getting on first, helping you in before sitting down and strapping up, helping you with your belt before i hold out my hand, palm facing upwards, just as the ferris wheel begins to ascend slowly

@✦ bang chan 。 you're crazy, you know that?
it's crazy that you can read people the way you do.
/murmurs quietly, i cant help but melt into the moment with you, something comforting about being with you and being able to fool around like this, and its a very homey feeling
forever and a day.
but its not even just our forever-- its all the forevers, of our future lives together, too. right?
/whispers the last word before your lips meet mine, and i let my eyes fall shut while we kiss, only opening my eyes when you pull back, and my lashes flutter until the light isnt too bright
/as we climb out and then leave the ride, i keep my hand in yours, looking up toward the ferris wheel while giving your hand a small squeeze, glancing back to you with a smile
you wont let me fall or anything, right?
or shake the cart thing?

@✦ felix lee 。 i can't help it! and even if i didn't say it, you'd know i was thinking one of these "libra" thoughts of mine
so you'd still be bugged out
/chuckles softly under my breath, nodding my head in understanding before i hear your laughter at my antics, grinning when you do the same thing
/laughing with you a bit louder i shuffle with you, looking into your eyes when you cup my cheek and kiss me instead, returning it all too happily
i love you too, lixie
for forever and a day. forever really isn't long enough when it comes to you, you know?
/sighs softly before i nudge your nose with my own, deciding to kiss you until the ride coming to an end makes me pull back, squinting as my eyes adjust to the different lights
/gets out first, helping you with me before i squeeze your hand, my other one resting at my side as i wander around with you
wanna go on the ferris wheel?
i know its high but its slow

@✦ bang chan 。 i... it's not fair, stop doing that.
/grumbles, flushing a soft pink when you pinpoint my feelings again, trying to brush it off with a short little scoff, shaking my head just a little
i know you dont.
i just wanna feel like i really deserve it one day.
im getting there, though.
/frowns, being rather gentle with your hand as i look up at you, only to smile with how you make me feel, nestling a little closer and feel so much more at peace
/blinks a few times, laughing a bit loudly and hiding my face against your shoulder before i lift my head, bringing my free hand up to cup around my mouth
i love christopher bang!
/yells out once your echoes fall quiet, my little giggles following after as i squirm in my spot, looking over to you and cupping your cheek so i can press a kiss to your lips, murmuring softly against your lips
i do. i love you.

@✦ felix lee 。 well you wouldn't ruin it. and you haven't ruined it right now, so stop thinking it
i know you are
/squeezes your hand gently, lifting them and kissing the back of your hand gently, trying to comfort you still before i shake my head and laugh
i'm glad you accept it, but you know i don't give out empty compliments
/lifts my arm and wraps it around your shoulders instead, giving you my sore hand to hold and still brushing my thumb over the back of your knuckles despite the pain
good
/as the ride begins i keep you close to my side, looking up at the roof of the tunnel we go through, smiling slightly again as like before, i enjoy the pretty lights and how they change colours
i love felix lee!
/exclaims suddenly about halfway through the ride, laughing as my voice echoes down the way and i hear my own voice saying what i already know right back at me

@✦ bang chan 。 ... stop that, the libra thing again.
i would feel guilty, and i would feel like i ruined it.
/not admitting to the point that i already do feel like i ruined it, even if it was something that wasnt in my control that caused the whole fiasco, i nod just a little and scrunch my nose
hyung...
you're most definitely flattering me right now.
but i'll accept this.
/nods once more, slipping my hand into yours and giving your fingers a squeeze, needing that anchor more than ever right now, and as we step out of the infirmary i almost immediately sink into your side, feeling rather small as i hide against you while we walk
/when we come to sit in the boat, i nuzzle up against your side, my free hand reaching to hold onto the safety bar while i rest my cheek on your shoulder, nodding a little
yeah. comfy.

@✦ felix lee 。 you know i'd totally whip you home to let you cry as much as you needed right?
but i'm sure if i did that you'd feel guilty like you ruined our date or something and we can't have that can we?
because its absolutely not true
/taps the tip of your nose with my finger for a moment, smiling to myself before i tilt my head, trying to think of a way to make you feel comfortable or more assured
well that's why you have me here, right?
so i can see you in the light you're truly meant to be witnessed in
like the wings i'll lend you, i'll keep on telling you about the beautiful man i see and get to see with. day by day
so you let my stay by your side to keep doing that and i'll keep, well, doing it. yeah? deal?
/asks as i stand up with you, holding out my hand as if to seal some kind of business deal with you, grinning slightly as i do so
yeah of course we can
i'll hold your hand the entire time
/murmurs as i begin to walk with you out the infirmary, heading to the river boat and helping you on first before i climb in, holding your hand as i sit down with you, my bad hand resting on my lap
comfy?

@✦ bang chan 。 not right now.
i'd like to try and keep myself together for the rest of the day.
/letting out one last shaky sigh, i peer up at you, touched by your words and offering a small smile in return, honestly touched by your words
i wish-- i wish i could see myself the way you see me.
you paint me in such a pretty light....
/sighs once more, my eyes falling shut as your lips press to my nose, then forehead, then lips, feeling rather blissful in the moment with you
/when i look at you again, its very pointedly as you speak of me looking after you, wanting to argue but i figure instead, i should just do what i can
/after you wipe my remaining tears away, i nod just a little, pushing myself up from my seat and slipping my hands into yours, looking down to the injured one with a hum
can we go on the river boat now?
i just wanna sit with you.

@✦ felix lee 。 that's okay. more crying is welcome
/laughs softly with you, brushing my thumb over your cheek while i hum softly, still gazing into your eyes with all the fondness i can manage to convey, even then its only a fraction
no you don't
you're so pretty, felix. even when you cry
if your freckles are made of stardust, then i suppose when you cry... its like meteor showers
/murmurs softly before i kiss the tip of your nose, then your forehead and lastly your lips because i want to leave my own imprints of physical love for you
/as your own hands cup my face i nuzzle your palms, my eyelids closing for just a moment, or until you ask me to let you look after me
i think you already do look after me...
but if it makes you feel better i'm not going to tell you no
you can take care of me in whatever way you want, lixie
/nods my head again, turning my head to the left to kiss your palm, and then the right to repeat the action, using my sleeve to wipe up the last bits of your tears
shall we go then?

@✦ bang chan 。 chris...
if you keep saying these types of things im just gonna keep crying.
/laughs softly against your shoulder, the sound muffled and sounding a little watery, as if i could easily break down again at any point
/but instead i push through it, taking in a deep breath as i sit up straighter, coming to look at you with those puffy eyes and small, unsure smile on my face
/your laugh makes me smile, and i dip my head a little while feeling rather shy in the moment, especially after having just cried on you when you're the one actually hurt
im glad you think im beautiful when i look like this.
i bet i look like a stupid... puffer fish.
/grumbles as my eyes fall shut while i let you wipe my face, and i let out another soft, shaky sigh before opening my eyes again, smiling as i look to you
i love you too. more than anything in the world.
/nods at your words, glancing down to your hand before looking over you some more, my hands gently coming to cup your cheeks as i brush my thumbs over them
will you let me do something for you?
will you let me take care of you?

@✦ felix lee 。 you can't add more to my plate, felix
even if you tried to
because you're not a chore and you're not a task to tick off my list. you're a joy to m, through good and bad, and nothing is every going to change that fact
/promises you while i continue to rub your back and comfort you, letting you hold onto me in any sense that you feel you might be needing it
but its okay. i'll keep on reminding you of that fact no matter how long it takes for you to believe it
/kisses your head as i whisper those last words, watching as you lift your head up and stare at me, nothing but warmth for you in my eyes as i brush your hair back
you never have to say goodbye
neither of us do
/promises as well, laughing just a bit when you seem puffier and mention looking like a disaster, but i think you look anything but that
you're beautiful...
all of you. inside and out - i mean it
/tugs my sleeve down and uses it to wipe at your face, brushing away the dampness from your crying while i chuckle again
i love you, felix
and i hope you know i'd do absolutely anything for you

@✦ bang chan 。 /your words have me pausing for a moment, glancing away while doing all i can to not fall into the cycle of blaming myself for making you feel the way i do
/because im not sure that i cant trust myself to speak, i end up falling silent while at first avoiding your gaze, then slowly looking up at you
/as i sink into your embrace, it's the little things, from the way you smell to the sound of your heartbeat, the feel of your arms around me, just a general homey feeling
i just dont want to add more to your plate.
/my voice is muffled as i murmur against you, not wanting to lift my head to speak, because as much as i try not to cry it's almost as if my bluff wears off the second im with you, and the real fear of that moment in the hallway sinks in as i cry
/despite trying to keep myself from crying too much, it comes easily as i relax with you, sniffling as my fingers curl into your clothes and i hold on, and i shake my head a little before letting out a small laugh
at least i never have to say goodbye to you again.
/your words whispered against my ear have me giving into another small round of tears, but these are more comforting than anything else, my hands smoothing along your back
/it takes a moment before i can trust myself to speak again without sounding like im underwater, sniffling once i've finally stopped crying and lifting my hands to wipe at my face, trying to will the tears away, and i finally look up at you, eyes a little swollen and red, my face puffy and pink, but a small smile on my lips nonetheless
i bet i look like a disaster.

@✦ felix lee 。 my hand doesn't compare to my emotions when it comes to you being here, felix. its bearable, but seeing you hurt... that isn't bearable for me
no pain could ever hold a light to seeing my soulmate harmed and aching as he tries to hold himself together and do his best to look after his own other half
/as i speak i look at you, my head tilting to the side slightly before i hear your explain that you knew you could lean on me, that leaving me seemed to feel as heartbreaking and soul shattering for you as it did for me
/looks at your face as you try stave off those tears a bit more, my line of sight then drifting to our hands and it makes me smile sadly when you squeeze at my hand ever so slightly
there's no one to see you in here
/reassures you but i then wrap my arms around you when you lean in against me, coiling my arms around you and cradling the back of your head as i let you hide in my arms and against my chest
you're hurt, but you're healing and healing take times
but you're not doing it alone and you never have to. i promise
/whispers as i let you cry it out, rubbing your back with my other hand before i wrap it around you a bit firmer, squeezing your waist as i do so
our future is bright, felix
and if that's hard to see sometimes then you lean on me. lean on me and i'll carry you back to the surface, i'll remind you that we're going ahead together
higher and higher
/still whispering i lean my head against your own while cradling you against me still, my lips finding your ear and softly whispering against it
i'll lend you my wings so you can touch the sky, little one

@✦ bang chan 。 but you're hurting.
/murmuring softly, i sigh as i tend to your hand, my fingers fiddling with your own as i do my best to be gentle, glancing up at you to check if you're hurting
/frowning when i know it doesnt feel good, even wondering if i should figure out a way to ice the spot, really anything to focus on you and distract myself from the feeling
i only got through because-- because i knew i had you to lean on.
because i couldnt bear leaving you.
/my voice is quiet, and i let out a soft sigh while letting your hand rest down once more, blinking a few times as i look at you, inhaling slowly while listening
everything you do is enough, for me and for everyone else.
a-and... a-and even if you couldnt do anything about it then, i know why. a-and its okay.
/falling quiet as you speak of letting go, i glance away for a second, knowing full well that the tears are right there, that i really could just break down right then and there
/but i still manage to stop myself, laughing a little nervously as i sniffle, leaning into you and giving your hand the gentlest of squeezes while letting out another sigh
i-i dont want to cry here... people will think im some baby.
/part of it is a joke, but i also know full well that it seems like im holding back, but i dont stop myself when i feel the tears slip down my cheek, instead leaning in to hide against you
im sorry. i am.

@✦ felix lee 。 its just a little bruise...
/its a tiny cut as well and it makes me wince when you put the ointment on, but i don't complain because i know this is my fault, and i deserve this much pain
you're not weak, felix
you're strong for dealing with that, for making it through. don't you dare call yourself weak
/grumbles a little because i hate hearing you talk bad about yourself, more so when its because of someone else and the invisible marks they've left on you
mmh... a little bit too late and i feel like its too little - but if i can keep you feeling safe in this arms of mine, or let you hide in them, or even behind my back- then its worth it
/i'd do a lot more than just working out to be stronger for you too, and i'm sure you know that but i realise it doesn't fix anything immediately for you either
crying doesn't make you weak though
/speaks quietly as i watch you sorting out my hand, my gaze lifting when i hear the wobbling in your voice and it causes my chest to clench up
what i said to stay about crying, that applies to you too. let it out... let yourself feel it
/my hand, once you're finished helping it, lifts to carefully cup your face in my palm, making you look at me as i gaze directly back into your eyes
let yourself heal, felix
from all of it. tonight, from years of it
/reassures you as i lean in, pressing my forehead against your own and inhaling the same breath as you, my hand finding your own again after
so no empty smiles. no 'i have to do this to stop hyung from worrying about me because he does worry about so much already'
let it go... let me help heal you, like you heal me

@✦ bang chan 。 you're hurt...
can you please let me take care of you?
/my voice is soft, almost pleading in a sense when i can see you're hurt, and your reaction to me even just lifting your hand makes it very obvious
/but its hard to keep my composure in the moment, a small smile playing on my lips but its not one of joy, rather a bit bittersweet as i try to keep myself together
i dont mean to be-- be so... weak?
i-i thought... i thought it would be different now, if i stood my ground--
/cutting myself off as you bring me in, i bury my face against your shoulder, closing my eyes tighter to prevent myself from crying right then and there, fingers curling into your clothes to keep you close
you do keep me safe, hyung. you do.
i feel safe, with you. because of you.
/my voice is a little muffled against your shoulder, feeling small and safe tucked against you, everything feeling much better save for the fact im sure you're beating yourself up over it
/however, i fall silent while listening to you speak, fingers stroking over you before you pull back, and i blink a few times while you cup my cheeks, shaking my head slightly
you... you did that? for me?
chris...
/taking in a deep breath, i shake my head once more, bringing my hands to the box, rummaging for a second before pulling out some ointment and a bandage, holding it up for a moment before beginning to tend to your hand, speaking quietly as i do
you dont have to be better, when you're already the best.
a-and.. and you always have been the best, for me, for everyone.
some things just-- just couldnt be helped.
/as i spread the ointment on the spot after cleaning it, and somehow manage to get the bandage on your hand and keep it from falling off, its clear that im doing all i can to stay composed, mostly for your sake at this point
and that's okay.
but its okay now, you're here, and im okay, and-- and it's okay.

@✦ felix lee 。 /as you cup my face i slowly turn my head to look at you, meeting your gaze and seeing how you're trying to suppress the way you're shaking and want to cry clearly
/as you turn away for a moment i hold my silence, letting you lift my hand and i wince slightly at the movement, now realising just how hard i must have hit him if my own hand is hurting this much
its not okay. i just... i hate seeing you scared, felix
its not even scared, its... you're terrified and it kills me
/admits quietly before i brush my thumb under your eye, sighing to myself as i hear you talking about what frightens you, and i know its no longer about the i just dealt with
/my jaw tenses up in thought, gaze dropping before i wrap my arms around you and pull you in against me instead, rubbing your back slowly
he's not coming back, felix
he'll never lay a hand on you ever again. i promise
/tears up myself because its one of my biggest failures, as a person who does his best to live without regrets, its one of my most hated moments in life because i feel like i ing failed you
i'm sorry i couldn't keep you safe then
but i'm trying to now, i really am, i'm trying to be better
/cradling your head to my shoulder i run my fingers through your hair, holding you close as i look over your shoulder and stare at the blank wall
its the main reason i'm... i'm bigger now, you know?
so i can be the biggest guy in the room, where i can, and protect you
i'm sorry its not enough yet, felix
but you don't have to hide being frightened anymore
/murmurs as i pull back and look at you, rubbing your back still before i cup your face in my hands, giving you a smile past my own teary eyes
and if you are its okay, i'm going to be here for you, with you, the entire time

@✦ bang chan 。 no, it's okay--
you... you had to.
/murmuring softly, i squeeze you gently in my arms despite the trembling in my limbs, trying to convince myself that i really am alright
/shaking my head a little, i try to brush off the mention of me getting shoved, but then you're asking if anything is broken, and despite the pain in my hips and back and wrists from having caught myself, i shake my head once more
no, nothing's broken.
im-- im fine.
/its a lie i've grown accustomed to saying, usually with a smile, but this time i cant bring myself to look at you in fear that i'll look like the kicked puppy of my past, and because im terrified of looking like /you/ scare me
/so instead, i lean into your touch, not flinching because i close my eyes but instead just clinging to you, doing what i can to look like some semblance of normal, but it has me looking as empty as i did before things finally settled
/the entire walk to the medic room, im silent and simply following you, thinking back to the moment i had been pushed to the ground, not even realizing we're alone until you speak up
chris...
/whispering your name, i bring a hand up, gently cupping your cheek and brushing my thumb along your skin, unable to hide the shaky feeling of my fingers against your face
i... it's okay.
you're my knight in shining armor.
i-im okay, i swear-- it just... it... i thought about-- w-well, you know.
/cleaning my throat, i have to look away, fearing that i might start crying, and after a minute i reach out to take your injured hand, bringing it closer so i can press a small kiss to your knuckles
but you were there.
a-and you took care of me. you always do.
i-i just...
/my voice breaks a little, and i sniffle softly, not shedding any tears just yet but really trying not to, but my composure is slipping just a little
i-i just wish i could be stronger? for you, especially.
he was just so big and scary and he was mad, and i didnt want to cause trouble--

@✦ felix lee 。 /when you hug me i feel the air leave my lungs, my arms immediately winding around you as i hold you close and remind myself that you're real, you're here and you're okay now
i'm here, lixie
i'm sorry. i shouldn't have left you alone
/murmurs as i hold you in my arms, sighing softly to myself before i shake my head when you ask me if i'm hurt and about my hand, i don't feel the pain right now, not when adrenaline is only now beginning to ebb out of my bloodstream
felix i'm not the one that got shoved down hard onto the ground
i did the shoving if anything
are you alright? nothing broken?
/i can't say the same for the 's nose, my jaw tensing as i glance over my shoulder and see him being taken away, making sure to eclipse your body with my own so he couldn't see you even if he tried
/softening as i turn back to you i wish i could take away all your fear, frowning as i cup your cheek in my palm and brush my thumb over your skin, whispering another quiet apology
come on, lets get you to the medic station
just to be sure
/keeping an arm around you i walk us out, finding the medic room and heading inside with you, promising we can take care of it to the on call staff before we're left alone
/grabbing a first aid box i only then realise my hand is bleeding, blinking at it as the pain begins to be realised now the adrenaline is wearing off, but its nothing compared to the pain of seeing you recede back into that scared kid i had seen before
/bringing the box over i sit down on the little bench with you, staring at the medic kit before i finally lift my gaze and look at you, tears in my own eyes as i refuse to let them fall
are you alright...? i mean-
i mean what can i do? i know you're not alright but i ... i want to...

@✦ bang chan 。 im sorry, i am--
i-i wasnt looking, it's my fault.
/stammering through my apologies, honestly meaning every single word that comes out of my mouth, i can only be reminded of every other apology that fell on unhearing ears
/on the ground, im trembling and small, flinching at any movement because i fear what a raised voice could mean, that a raised hand could be next
/there are tears stinging my eyes, my breath a little short as i look up when i hear your voice calling out, and though i try to call for you i cant really get the words out
/instead, im just sitting there on the ground for a moment, taking each and every verbal hit from the guy, my chest feeling heavy but there's nothing i can do, not when i've been trained to essentially take these things in silence
p-please, im sorry--
/its a whispered apology this time, and i end up trying to push myself back as he reaches for me, but then you're pulling him away and he's on the ground in less than a second, my eyes going wide as i try to reach out for you
/another hand comes to me, and i almost scream but i stop myself when i hear someone murmuring that it'll be okay, and only then do i realize that i'm being pulled out of harms way by a complete stranger
/the fight between the two of you goes on, and i can only stand there feeling weak and small and afraid, but this isnt a sight i /havent/ seen before, its familiar to me in a sense
h-hyung...
/stumbling forward, i reach out and wrap my arms around you, hugging myself to your chest while heaving a sigh, knowing full well that you did that /for me/ and that you're upset because of what you saw, but you stepped in this time without hesitation because there was nothing to hold you back
are you hurt?
how's your hand?
did he hurt you?
/asks as i pull back with my hands and voice still shaking, and there's not a care in the world for myself, only for you, because even if i need to be taken care of someone needs to take care of you too

@✦ felix lee 。 /i'm as quick as i can be, barely even a handful of minutes really, its more than trekking back the way we came to find a loo is what takes longest of all
/its on my way back that i feel something isn't right, i don't know why yet and have no real reason to feel that way but... something just doesn't sit right in my stomach and it has me moving a little quicker to get back to you
/i catch the commotion from when he shoves you down against the floor, my eyes widening at the sight as even from where i am i heard you apologising but it doesn't seem to be enough for him
hey!
/calls out as i full on sprint over, pushing past people who have gathered around to look before i stand between you and him, my hands curled up at my sides
lay off! he said he was sorry. isn't that enough?
/asks as he looks me up and down, as if he's sizing me up and yes he's taller, but since when did i ever give a damn about that
/to my absolute astonishment and anger i find him throwing slurs at not just me, i don't care about those, but about you and i might have been able to ignore them if he didn't then try bypassing me to get to you, threatening you about what will happen when he gets his hands on you
/snarling as something inside of me snaps, i grab a fistful of the back of his jacket, yanking him back and away from you before he can touch you, bending my knees as i grab him with my other arm and yank downwards
/i send him tumbling down on his own as i use my centre of gravity against him, but he's still spewing threats about you and it has me seeing red, no longer seeing the stranger in front of me but /him/
don't you dare threaten him-
/i'm on top of him in the next second, pinning him on his back before i'm grabbing at his shirt and pulling him up, only to slam him back down against the ground
don't you ing touch him either!
he did NOTHING wrong, who the do you think you are frightening him like that?!
/growls as he goes from the offensive to defensive when he realises how entirely pissed off i am, slamming him down a couple more times before i pull my right hand back and swing it forward with as much force as i can
/i hear something make a sickening snapping noise, its his nose, that of which is crooked and he's cradling as he curls up in a fetal position, myself having to be dragged off of him as i'm still panting and growling, eyes dark as his pained whimpers only make me angrier
i'm fine-
/snaps at the bystanders who have gotten me off of him, falling silent after as i need a moment to just breathe, its not often at all i get mad, let alone this enraged and it must be frightening for anyone to see, or sad depending on how well the individual knows me
felix--
/calls your name as i lift my head, looking around for you in alarm as it seems i've only just remembered the reason for such unbridled rage, frantic as i dart my gaze about to try and spot you

@✦ bang chan 。 forever and a day.
/repeats after you and nods a little for affirmation, smiling as i look up at you, feeling a little giddy even from something as simple as a kiss from you, and it makes me sigh softly
/your words, however, make me blush, and i laugh softly while looking away from you, nudging at you while enjoying the cotton candy
hyung, please.
that's for later.
/rolling my eyes, i follow your lead as best as i can, opting not to mention the gyro drop when i know i'd probably regret something like that, so instead i hum softly and follow after you
/but your general disposition has me hesitant, not wanting to push it because i figure you'd talk to me if anything /was/ bothering you, so instead i nod and lean in to gently bump my nose to your cheek
i love you, too.
huh? oh, okay. yeah, i'll wait right here.
/nodding a few times, i smile to you, innocent and genuinely shooing you off before waiting, looking up along the tunnel and finishing off the rest of my cotton candy, tossing the stick in the trash before i come back to the spot you left me at
/perhaps because im not really paying attention, i let out a small 'oof' when someone walks into me, and i very quickly bow and offer my apologies to the man, trying to move out of the way, only to feel two strong hands shove my shoulders and the man's voice raises as he begins yelling at me
/hitting the floor a little harder than i'd like, i skid back just a little while looking up with wide, fearful eyes, a small crowd gathering to watch the altercation, meanwhile im just trying to apologize but my voice isnt coming out anymore, hands trembling as im reminded all too well of something of the past

@✦ felix lee 。 and you won't be losing me, lixie
forever and a day
/chuckles when you tell me you love me again, murmuring the words back with ease as i kiss the side of your head with all the love and affection that could be poured into a simple kiss
i mean...
if i wanted to make you scream there's other ways i could do so
/teases as i flash you a cheeky grin, wagging my eyebrows at you before i feel you inch even closer, smiling because i know its the staff actors scaring you
aquarium it is
i was just kidding about the gyro drop though, don't worry. i'm not dying to go on it
/when you nudge my side i snap out of my thoughts and look at you, staring into your eyes for several moments and i almost wince when i remember how you looked pinned against one of the benches we pass
nothing. nothing, lix. i'm fine
/nods convincingly enough, walking past them before i glance behind me subtly, looking at the benches before i turn to look at you beside me, my already protective aura seeming to grow tenfold just then
i love you, that's all
/adds on softly before we head to the aquarium, though part way through i realise i need the loo, excusing myself and telling you to wait right there for me in the underwater tunnel while i jog off, promising to stop by the gift shop to get something matching when we're done

@✦ bang chan 。 we really will be talking about this, for years to come.
but it's okay. i can assure you, hyung, you wont be losing me.
/my fingers squeeze yours as i look to you, an unspoken promise in my gaze just as much as the one in my words, a smile on my lips
/everything seems to have finally fallen into place, between the two of us and everything else, and to see you smile— it really just takes the cake
i really mean it.
i love you.
/laughs as i slip off of the horse with your help, glad to be taken care of by someone as strong and caring as you, and i take another nibble off the sweet treat
the gyro drop— are you/trying/ to make me scream?
/rolls my eyes playfully, laughing softly before i end up inching closer, flinching a little at the zombies before glancing up at you
how about— aquarium first, so i can finish this?
then you can take me on a ride and i'll squeeze your hand so hard it almost pops off.
/laughing softly, i only realize how quiet you are a few moments after i finish speaking, blinking a few times as i nudge your side
hyung... what's up?

[post deleted by owner]

@✦ felix lee 。 i don't know... i nearly lost everything, more than once
those times make me more grateful for people, like you, rather than materialistic things
but i feel we're going to be having this conversation long into our grey years
/murmurs over the sound of the merriment and music, laughing a bit as i just nod when you tell me to just let you spoil me, knowing you don't realise you're already doing that
/looks from the lights to you when you say you love seeing me happy, staring at you for a heartbeat longer before i end up grinning happily at you
you'll see a lot of that with me around you
/chuckles as i dismount first, seeing you're higher now so i step closer, gently grabbing you by your waist and lifting you up and off of the ride, onto your feet
mmh, you wanna walk through the acquarium?
/asks as i slip my hand into your own again, walking with you as i smile at the halloween decor hanging around, tugging you a little closer when i see a couple staff dressed up as zombies waiting to scare visitors
or the gyro drop?
/teases you, knowing its even higher and not the funnest of things to do, especially considering your reaction just to the viking ride last time
/its nice being back here, but as we walk through a very familiar part of the establishment, my body tenses a little as i remember a certain person, my jaw clenched as i fall silent while we walk