*blinks before looking at the sketchbook, smiling gratefully after a moment and taking it, hugging it to my chest as I head off to my room*
I'll bring it back later, I promise
*glares at Raven as I walk in and sit down on Ashley's other side*
What's wrong Ashie..?
*I ask softly as I lift his chin up so he's looking right at me*
*Walks in with my blanket hoping to get more cuddles from Ashley*
Hey Ash-
*I pause as I see Ashley with his head down and Raven hugging him*
Oh my god, what's going on??
*Looks up for a second and sniffles, my voice shaky when I speak*
That's awful... The only reason I remember my dad is because of that... twenty-five years later, I'm still completely broken..
*Drops my head back onto my hands, pretty embarrassed at the fact that I'm practically having a breakdown in front of you*
*looks back at you with tears in my eyes*
I'm so sorry.. I would never wish this amount of pain on anyone...
*Pauses for a second because I'm unable to speak without my voice cracking*
I was around five years old too, but I remember every little detail... I WATCHED my dad shoot himself-
*Pauses again, with tears now running down my cheeks*
The last thing he said was... "Don't worry about me son, I'm going to heaven with mommy. I'm sorry I failed you."
*Chokes back a sob as I drop my head onto my hands*
*smiles a little and nods before standing up to grab the sketchbook from the drawer, then sits back down and opens it revealing some pages full of small, simple sketches, and others with bigger, more complex drawings of people, animals and random objects. One page in particular seems to have gotten wet in some places and I try to quickly flip away from it*