➲ lake

@♈ Zhou Shiyu no no its ok Shi, I mean.. those kind of things... it shouldnt be discuss with anyone else but your partner. If I also have someone with me..im sure she wont appreciate if I talk about this just with anyone.. even if they are the best friends.. or friends
*I let myself to lay down in green pastures, making an arm a pillow as I still stare at the sky.. now the orange sky is changing into a starry one.. little by little*
hmm maybe they're too busy, or just didnt have any chance to wait for such scenery. the world is spinning... and we all have things to do.. sometimes we cant even pause to appreciate... the world's too demanding.. only few has guts to make a quick glance.. but still its something better than not taking a look at all

@♌️ Moon Byulyi mmh, sorry bout that. but...i don't think she'd appreciate me discussing our relationship with other people. or at least I wouldn't if I was her
//continues staring at the water with the faintest frown, the urge to break the plain surface with anything growing with every minute//
that's true....no one comes here anyway. even though it's so pretty here

@♈ Zhou Shiyu oh yeah.. right.. sorry for intruding too.. didnt mean to
*bows a little and shrugs as I get my glance back to the sky*
but we're still near the vicinity of the mansion.. so I guess all our worries are for nothing since I haven't seen any soul but us..

@♌️ Moon Byulyi actually...no wait. it doesn't matter. it's something only between her and me. I shouldn't really be discussing it with you
//focuses back on the water's surface, the orange sky reflected on it//
I won't use it on you. but like I said, I have it with me just in case there are some...less harmless people lurking around

@♈ Zhou Shiyu hmm.. yes she didnt deserved it. but that's one of the few things that she will keep in mind not to mess.. right?
and wait that's months ago im sure she didnt mind now..
*tilts my head at the side and smiles back*
im one of those people then.. but still.. its awesome to hear
*bring my hands up to surrunder*
hey.. its just you and me.. calm down.. dont use the pepper spray.. just yet haha

@♌️ Moon Byulyi mmh...don't remind me of it. I didn't treat her very well back then. it's one of the few things I'll always regret...
//pulls her shoulders up into a shrug, lips forming a sheepish smile//
I don't have much knowledge of things, but...I speak with passion about them so people believe I know a lot when I really don't
//rolls her eyes//
no guns, but I've got pepper spray in my pocket and I won't hesitate to use it

@♈ Zhou Shiyu she is.. trust me on this one.. she is.. i dont want to elaborate it anymore... and I dont think she'll let go that easily.. I remember how hard it is for her when you two first meet in here.. like how cold you had been with her.. she even mentioned my name in one thread.. haha
*puffs my cheek as I look at the sky.. its not yet dark but the orange hue in the sky made it a little better*
ahh.. again.. you still have that fascination.. huh.. i mean how small we are.. against all the things in this world.. or rather the universe. kinda miss your facts and stories.. how you speak full of knowledge about this thing.. and if ever you are still wondering.. im still up for listening.. dont.. hold back... i love those.. i get to learn something too
*finally my eyes landed on you, offering a small smile*
i know.. you're a big girl.. a big girl with no guns.. so lemme stay here with you until you want to go back inside.. 2 are better than one when facing thug..

@♌️ Moon Byulyi I*m not sure how lucky she is being stuck with me for life, but so far she doesn't seem to mind too much. I do hope it'll take an eternity for that to happen, I can't let go just yet
//turns her head to look at the older woman, a hint of a smile on her lips//
I like watching the night sky. just how I like watching stormy nights. makes you realize how small and trivial we actually are. and I wasn't going to say anything like that. more on the line of, don't worry. I'm a big girl already, you really don't have to

@♈ Zhou Shiyu *smiles at how you answered, nodding and shoving my hands in my pockets once again*
I thought so.. lucky her.. .anyway.. I dont think this place will disappear soon.. i got a feeling it may takes a few more years.. at the same time.. its a wish too..
*sighed and again climb up to sit next to you*
night sky.. always bring.. a warm yet lonely mood.. i dont know if its just me.. but then its calm so.. Ill stay.. and yeah I wont leave a woman all by herself.. specially friends..
and please.. dont get sassy on me and tell me.. i already did few months ago.. thats one thing.. i regret at the same time..not really..

@♌️ Moon Byulyi //purses her lips in thought, a frown forming on her forehead when confronted with that question//
I...won't. no matter what happens, I will always find my way back to her. so...if this place disappears and she moves somewhere else, I'll be there. but if not...then I won't either...
//watching the other move away slowly, she remains seated at her spot, turning back to face the water's surface//
but how would you get to see the night sky if you weren't staying out at night? it's alright if you want to leave first...but I think I'll stay here for a little longer, watching the water, thinking about stuff

@♈ Zhou Shiyu hmm.. well.. Im a wandering soul again.. I guess
*chuckles lightly and pats your head.. since I find it funny that this is the only time Im taller than you*
Im not asking anything from anyone.. if.. I believe she's the soulmate.. and all the universe points that she is.. then.. she is. hmm just like how I found my former one..
*tilting my head to the side, I look back at you, looking in your eyes*
well.. you do whatever you want Shi, but.. will you be able to leave your soulmate.?
we should head back now Shi, its getting darker.. its not good to stay in the dark
*I dismissed the topic since it was too heartbreaking for me that you decided to just disappear, but I cant say anything since I did it once too... so a deep sigh left my lips as I stride down the hill, slowly just enough to wait for you to follow me too*

@♌️ Moon Byulyi isn't it obvious? even though it doesn't have to be romantically, stripping away all the romantic feelings I have for her, she's still my best friend. the one who gets me better than anyone else. she pushes me to be a better version of myself, yet at the same time accepts me just as I am. our opinions don't always align, but we talk things through, make sure that we're on common ground even with our differences
I think...all that should be the least a soulmate can do for you. and I can't give you all that
//slowly releases her breath once the older woman stands up, eventually turning her head to look at her//
soon find an ending....maybe...but I refuse to believe that. even if it gets really quiet, even if people stop coming here, I will still stick around. and if it were to disappear...then I shall disappear with it

@♈ Zhou Shiyu *smiles at how you push ne again.. something that never changed.. I nod as I listen to you and then open my lips and speak in a gentle voice*
hmm why? did you allow someone to be your soulmate already?
you know.. soulmates.. dont always work like.. romantically right? if may I ask too.. what are those things that a soulmate should give?
isnt it..just.. be there.. for your soulmate.. through thick and thin.. even if its not you who wraps her in comfort?
as long as your souls know..when you look at your right.. she's there.. giving you a smile.. saying.. its ok..
soulmate could be friends.. or siblings.. but..
if that's what you want.. ill try to find another person that would click with me.. better than how you did then..
i dont want you to feel burden because of it.
*chuckles and then pulls away.. standing up while I nod.. stretching my limbs as I dont know what to do anymore*
I didnt say you will let us go.. or this place..
just.. try going out.. not worrying about anything that's not existing yet..
and this place will always welcome you back once you feel tired.. or you know..if you wanna feel sace..
hmm.. theres the possibility that we will soon find an ending.. but we can always rebuild another place..
yeah it sad to day goodbye to our physical memories in here but its embedded in our mind and soul already.. so it is still possible..

@♌️ Moon Byulyi //shakes her head slightly, hating herself for having to say this, but it is necessary//
I don't think...you should keep holding onto that term. soulmate...keep it for someone else, someone better than me, someone who can give you everything that a soulmate should. someone who doesn't already have someone else connected to their soul
//keeps her head down, unable to deal with the sudden closeness at the moment//
but the people here are important to me as well. even if this is just like a little perfect dream world, I've grown so attached to the people dear to me. it's silly to hope for it, but I want what I have here to last for a lifetime as well. and sometimes I do think that it's really possible...but on other, darker days I get so scared I might lose it...

@♈ Zhou Shiyu hmm.. i guess im.. still lucky.. lady luck still smiled at me. when i thought i lost you.. here you are still accepting me back.. i still have my friends.. i still have my...
soulmate..
*smiles softly at the thought.. and sighs deeply, pulling my hand back*
I know.. we should, leave all of that behind.. we welcomed a new chapter in our lives so no more looking back.. we may wish for another outcome but.. it is what it is..
*finally looks at you, seeing you so soft like that breaks my heart. I dont know what you've been into... but still and so I scoot closer, even though you might hit me for doing this.. I still did so.. no other motives but to comfort you.. i gently wrap my arms around you...*
you know how we always wanted to stay in our comfort zone.. when we know no one will harm us.. but how will we grow, how will we learn how to filter people.. if we dont meet them.. and I know, I know.. its hard.. cause two person have their own personality, perspective... but it aint fun if im lime you, or youre like me.. or were like Dongie..or Wheein or.. other people.. all im saying is.. Shi, its ok.. to come back when youre tired.. but dont lose that doors to other possibilities.. outside you might find better friends.. you know.. arent you looking forward to that? a friends you can keep for life..

@♌️ Moon Byulyi I'm...usually the type to cut ties with people and never look back....but in the end I couldn't with you
it how things went down. and there are things that I wish I would have done differently, but there's nothing to be done about it anymore. the only thing we can do is learn from our past mistakes and move on
//breathes out in a soft sigh, eyes closing again//
I don't know....it's just my general experience with people, blaming the one trying to help instead of looking at their own faults first. it's tiring when you really care about them but they turn your good will into something else. sometimes...interacting with people is so hard. if I could I would just stay here forever, not having to deal with anyone

@♈ Zhou Shiyu I deserve that.. I mean.. if you really never talk to me.. I wont take it negatively.. cause yeah..
chose her.. of course.. that's the best decision.. on that very moment.. Im glad you did that..
*smiling softly now, still looking far.. didnt know you took a glance.. I was too lost in the moment.. cause it seems forever since we.. talk like this.. im just feeling happy*
hmm.. I embrace being a , and a coward.. haha
but jokes aside..
did I ever blaimed you nor anyone? it depends on the person.. if i listen to someone's advice and it didnt work out the way we wanted..it is still on me.. cause I have all the right in the world not to listen but I did.. someone just made a hypothetical thing.. and its my brain's fault to say its a good choice..
Im sure the person didnt mean any harm.. and Im sure you wont lead me to harm.. so why would I not listen to your advices?

@♌️ Moon Byulyi because I was so mad at you in that moment for even saying something so outrageous. so in that moment I really never wanted to talk to you again. but I had time to think about things and I started to feel bad for how things ended between us. and part of me knew that it would just be easier not to reach out. at least like that I could live a quiet life, focusing on my present and my future instead of being stuck in the past. so I didn't. I chose my future. and i chose her
//eventually lifts her head just a tiny little bit to peek at the older woman//
you really are a sometimes, you know? definitely a coward as well.
I don't know...I'm just...because if you don't explain well people might think you advised them to do one thing even though you didn't mean it like that and when it doesn't work they blame you. I don't want that to happen again

@♈ Zhou Shiyu hmm.. we all have egos and pride..you know.. its ok to be like that? I mean choosing if we should approached someone or not.. tell them you care.. I get it.. though for me.. its almost fear that held me back..
I should have made an effort too Shi.. its not just you.. at least you had a thought to talk to me.. after the message you sent me.. i mean after my response.. you never said anything again so I thought you never ever gonna talk to me.
*puffs my cheek still petting the other person.. i chuckled a lite*
just the usual.. that im a pabo.. or like how things wouldnt work out the other way..
and back then i couldnt provide the clean cut cause im just a coward..
your advices are one of the kind.. yeah you dont sugar coat your words but at least you..try to explain it to me deeply more.. you made sure I understand it too even..
soo one of the best.. lost. but best..

@♌️ Moon Byulyi mmh, I figured you would still be talking to her. I'm glad you had her sticking around. other friends too. you should have just forgotten about me, though. I wasn't really being a good friend to you. I could have made an effort, trying to mend things, but I didn't
//sighs softly, still keeping her face hidden, though feeling a little better with the head pets//
that's on me. after you left, I was so upset I deleted everything because I just wanted a clean cut, something you couldn't provide me with so I had to take matters into my own hands. it's a pity....but maybe it's for the best
no you really shouldn't. most of the time I'm just talking out of my anyway. can't believe you really think my advice is one of the best. what kind of other advice do you usually get then?

@♈ Zhou Shiyu ahh.. I appreciate the thought.. but im sure ill just.. answer it with a half baked one.. will not lie, but you know.. just a few lines..though.. Dongie and I never stopped messaging one another a few months after I left.. but then I stopped replying too.. that's the time i thought im gonna quit the site.. but some friends really held me back.. and of course you.. im thinking I should mend things with you.. so if ever i decided to poof.. i wont leave issues..
*look at you and slowly approach you.. hands on your head gently brushing your hair, like an older sibling to her maknae.. trying to at least comfort you through that gesture*
hey.. your advices are one of the best.. i just hope I'd saved one.. but it all got deleted already.. im really just the worst ball of mess before shi. plus you're just concern about me.. dont.. say that..
I will hear your advices.. that's final..

@♌️ Moon Byulyi mmh, alright. then I'll keep that in mind. you know when you first left...after about a month or so I really thought about messaging you, just to make sure you were alright. because even with how things ended, you were still my friend...but in the end I didn't. because I knew you had your reasons
//rests her forehead against her knees instead, eyes closing as she just slowly breathes in and out//
sorry...maybe it would have been best if I hadn't said anything to you back then. I thought I was giving you advice, but in the end it might have only made things worse for you. so...better not listen to any advice I give out from now on

@♈ Zhou Shiyu if i leave again.. that only means.. theres nothing more i could do here and so.. the next time..i know i wont regret it.. and i wont beg to come back either.
*i blink at your inquiry, my lips open and closes trying to say..some things but ended up being silent for a minute*
maybe? like when I come here.. it reminds me of.. Sun.. even if Hyuna and my friends are here.. yall keep pounding my head that its not worth it.. next thing I knew i feel.. suffocated.. plus every information i got..
the lost chances.. my exam.. it became too much for me to handle.. but being away is not necessarily i became better.. sometimes.. i always got lead back.. just afraid to approach..
*takes deep breath..*
if you ask why I came back.. I dunno too.. im still finding answers.. tbh.. thats why im lurking..

@♌️ Moon Byulyi better keep that promise. I won't let you back in another time. even if you come begging on your knees. I don't really hold grudges, but I'm not the type to forgive and forget either
//hugging her legs, she stares into the distance, the warm glow of the sunset//
was that why you left? because your brain kept telling you things that weren't necessarily true?

@♈ Zhou Shiyu then.. we can.. always stay here.. be around.. dont the place die.. even if its just us.. and i agree with you.. i dont want to let go of this place too..
*seeing you finally smile, my lips curve into one too..*
good.. and im keeping that promise.. wont.. runaway again
*leans back a little hands supporting my weight when you sat next to me and I stare on the setting sun*
in general I mean.. i know you will forever love her..
but even so.. you know how powerful the mind is..even the heart says.. you should stay.. the brain will sometimes fudge up and next thing you knew.. you're gone..

@♌️ Moon Byulyi it was, but still there were other people around too. but I refuse to let this place die, simply because of how much it means to me
//nods faintly, a small smile forming on her lips//
mmh, thank you yi. I'll....keep it in mind
//glances towards the hill, following the older woman a few steps behind, reaching out to place her hand onto her shoulder for support instead before eventually settling down next to her, legs pulled up to her body to rest her chin on her knees//
just my mind. my heart, it won't ever change. not when it comes to her. that's the one thing that I am 100% certain of in my life

@♈ Zhou Shiyu hmm.. well.. that's how it used to be before too.. but we're striving... you know..
and I fill the place with empty noises so.. I dont know how that works.. haha
if you ever feel like.. that again.. lonely.. you know you can always.. call me..tag me? we can just talk about anything like we used to.
*stops walking and points at the small hill, smiling softly*
wanna go there? hmm I think it'll be good spot to talk to Shi come
*heads toward the place, brushes of peak a little before sitting down.. holding out a hand if ever you want my help*
of course it will.. first it will take toll on your mind.. but it will fight.. then your heart..
until one day you'll just wake up and like feel defeated.
and I hope you haven't feel the latter just yet...

@♌️ Moon Byulyi I'm...trying. that's the only way to put it. but sometimes it feels like I'm talking into an empty void and I just get so tired. so...I'm glad you're here to fill the the silent rooms with noise
//nods slowly//
I know she's busy, but I still miss seeing her around. I just feel like all I'm doing is waiting. for her, for Wheein, for anyone to show up
//breathes out in a deep sigh//
I don't mind waiting for the people dear to me, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't affect me still....

@♈ Zhou Shiyu *hums a little when you state the places getting a little more lively, my eyes take a quick glance on you then returning it back on the road*
I doubt that. I mean.. like.. its you who's already keeping the place alive. hmm we got memories in here so Im thankful that.. I can go back.. and well Dongie's a lil busy too.. cause of her promotion or something? at work.. she said it'll get better soon.. so we should wait patiently
*a hand finally reaches for your shoulder, though offering an awkward little pats*
hmm I hope.. both of you are in good terms too..
you two has a lot of ups and downs.. and all the dramas. that took place..
im sure you'll have a free sched at the same time.. she'll come around Shi..

@♌️ Moon Byulyi //purses her lips into a thin line, ready to stir the conversation towards a different direction should the older woman start questioning her, but as nothing as such happens, she relaxes again//
that's...good to hear. the place get a little more lively when you're around. I thought with your return dongie would show up more as well, but I guess I was wrong
//staring off into the distance ahead, she simply shrugs//
I'm alright. life's...tiring. but that phase will pass as well. we're good. Wheein and I. we're both busy so I miss her terribly most of the time, but I think we're good....or at least I hope so