☕ — SLOW CHAT

oh my...

no one ever came home-

anyone home?

the utter devastation that embraces my soul only
triggers it ever so gently that it brings a blur to my
vision.
almost as if the sun had disappeared and the flower
never bloomed.

melancholic-
it truly has been but there’s a facade that has to be
shown to the world that “im okay”
so that there’s reassurance to others that the world
is a safe place despite it not.

it’s concerning how things work.
when you put others first before yourself
though it is a toxic habit- it can’t be helped when you
want to see others happier in life when I’m not able
to be in my own.

it hurts.
to breathe.
but it’s what keeps me in this skin.
this body. it’s what keeps me existing.
do I like it?
currently- no.

the indifference of my entirety
the constant cycle of living as a standard being has
ruptured my thoughts of living a life in general.
what more could I do, what could I make of myself
all these questions are abrupt and endless but there
never seems to be an answer to them for the lack of
braincells refuse to work.

am I worth such a thing- then again is life really worth
living if there’s nothing to live for.
that question is tough- for I can’t be able to fathom
the thoughts that run through my mind that I, myself
would be able to support along my entirety.

it’s tiring
to wake up every morning and figure out how to plan a
productive day-
it gets harder to breathe especially when the air just
becomes so crisp-

lost. the word replayed hauntingly within the back of his thoughts as his orbs casted over the tresses of Mother Nature. his slender digits capturing the green hue between his fingers, observing them closely. had he known why he existed then he wouldn’t be lingering along the fields of greenery alone. though it felt lonely, it was a relief to get away from the presence filled with inhumane beings walking along the same world as “us”. he never understood, he never tried to; no, he felt no need to cater to their entertainment.

melancholic. the unexplained emotion that engulfed his entirety, he couldn’t explain it nor did he understand what this was. despite not socializing with his own kind he was protective of them when in dire situations. he observed from afar, choosing not to be the hero in spotlight rather be anonymous in the dark. enduring the frustration of not being able to comprehend when things go wrong or why people are the way they are. was he hesitant to learn these things to prevent himself from being torn down in the long run?

the locks slip past his fingers though it holds on as if it doesn’t want to part from her child. exhaling a short sigh with a slight fall back, averting his reflective orbs to the sky which were painted various hues of purples and oranges along the canvas above. sparse lashes feathering delicately against his fair skin, with the whispering field embracing his presence. it felt like home. the home that only he grew fond of— where things weren’t so different. where everyone didn’t hide behind a mask.

soob a doob
here and there
ig

just soob doin soob tingz

oh bro first posts