6.
I want you to be happy.
That's what you want right?
And you feel it with her even though I tried. I always try but you keep pushing me away.
Meanwhile, she pushes you to but you keep on running to her.
Saying that you'll never let go of her.
Don't mind me. Well, you never did anyway.
You being happy is enough for me.
"I'm being sucha ____. Are you even like this, Yoon Bomi?"
/sighs, wipes my tears and hugs myself while staring on the computer screen/
/disappointed to myself because of what I just typed/
This is so not me ._.
/whispers/ I'm the one who makes the drama this time. /jumps to my bed and dies- cries/
5.
You did not STOP yourself to fall on him even though you know that he has me. Even though you know someone likes you and he left you, right? Cause you stick with a guy who has a girlfriend. No wonder he ignores you when my boyfriend rejected you and you run into your boy. Thinking that he'll come back. He's smart enough to feel that you like- LOVE... MY BOYFRIEND.
I have been not a possessive girlfriend, cause I give you freedom to still be close to her even though I dont want too.
Even though I know that this is possible, that I expected this, that there's lots of chances for this situation will happen.
So yeah I know. And why didn't I become a possesive girlfriend?
Because I love you.
I know if I keep her out of your league you'll be sad. And it hurts to see you sad. I don't want you to be sad.
4.
You can't leave her cause if you did she'll be hurt and she'll cry. Of course she will because she loves you.
And she didn't controlled her feelings, you didn't limit yourself too.
That's why it came this far.
And you don't want to lose her.
She is just a friend. Friend comes and go.
Wait, but you're saying that you love her. 2 timing. Cheating.
Do I deserve to be cheated on?
I'm not saying that you're a cheater.
I just come up with this conclusion.
You don't want to leave me because I'll be hurt, and they'll say go for Bomi.
You love her.
And your conscience will bother you.
And of course I'll cry to. Do you expect me to be happy with that?
The person you love just left you because of another girl who's just always talking to her and making him happy.
And I'm here, your girlfriend.
You say I make you happy, I told you its my obligation.
You say you love me, but you don't show it. Instead, you show it to her. Is she your girlfriend?
Hey, do you love me?
You really do?
But why are you hurting me?
You did not even STOP yourself to love her. So that means, YOU LIKE IT.
You did not even STOP her.
3.
And I know you hate me because of this.
But can you blame me for saying this?
This is what I feel.
Do I have to remind you that I'm your girlfriend and SHE is JUST your BEST FRIEND??
BEST FRIEND. Just bestfriend.
Slap me if she's is your girlfriend.
Of course I have no rights & guts to say this.
But unfortunately, I'm your girlfriend.
I know that you hate me now.
I didn't mean too. I'm just showing what I feel.
Is it bad?
Am I bad that you're doing this to me?
You read this because you're checking if you did anything wrong and you'll say that you love me so I'll feel better.
You check my wall to see if he still loves me and you're gonna cry and say that your heart are shattered into pieaces. And then he'll know. And when it was supposed to be me he is with, its you.
You check my wall to see if he still loves me and you'll talk to him and her, pushing them two together and for him to leave me and choose her.
What is the use of diary if everyone can read it? It is better if you call it a blog post.
And aren't I awesome 'cause I talked to 3 people in just one post?
2.
I tried to be better, but with your short replies you're like pushing me away from you.
At first you told me it was only just a test.
Seems like you ENJOY(ED) it huh?
Happy now that he loves you?
You said you know your limits.
Idiot, you didn't even bother on what he's doing to you.
Because you love it.
That's why you didn't stop him.
You didn't even warn him.
You made him confuse.
You keep on putting dramas so that he'll keep on comforting you.
You want his attention.
And oh lucky you, he gave you ALL.
You know he has a girlfriend.
You know you have a girlfriend.
I didn't even know what did I do wrong.
I just love you. I guess that's wrong?
But you told me that you love me.
You told me that I have to trust you.
And I love you so much.
I keep on doing it until now.
Even though you're just pretending in front of me.
You're just waiting for me to end this, don't you?
Honestly,
I can't do that.
You made me love you that much.
You. Its your decision if you'll leave me or not.