bar + grill

@moon gayoung ๑❥ ཻ灬ྀྀྀ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀`Some memories are unforgettable, remaining ever vivid and heartwarming!`

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The sight before Yeji when the young lady looks up brings about a shortness in her breath, she has a hard time catching her breath. Orbs wide and darkening in the night sky, gazing at the familiar stranger staring back at her. ‘Stranger,’ because it has been a long time since she last saw Gayoung, the chokehold this particular woman has her in, brings a sense of warmth and sadness deep within her, overriding the panicking slew of emotions she had, thinking that the woman was in a horrendous state due to someone else. “Gayoung,” the name leaves her brims in a flurry of billowing air, her breath labored but as time goes on, Yeji tries controlling the sporadic splutters in hopes of cracking a small, disheartened smile at her. Yeji and Gayoung drifted apart after studying in college for a year or so. Yeji hasn’t seen much of her and they hardly text one another, Yeji being occupied with further studies and her job, added to her personal issues as well, Gayoung, the same, but it never meant that Yeji doesn’t feel anything for the young woman.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Are you sure you’re alright? You said you’re dizzy,” the worry comes back in the woman’s tone, her feline eyes narrowing to study the pretty girl opposite her, the older woman looks distraught and depressed, it breaks Yeji’s fragile heart; being close to Gayoung and seeing her in such a state brings back some bleak memories from the past upon knowing a major part of Gayoung’s past. “Are you sure, you’re fine? Maybe we should go inside and take a seat out of this filth and grab something to eat?” Yeji looks around, not realizing that Gayoung is on the clock and she’s probably busy with ongoing deliveries, the comfortable clothing she wears doesn’t bother Yeji either she always thought that the older girl looks pretty in just about `anything` she wears. Yeji is that type of friend to uplift others and she always did that with Gayoung, after all, the woman is beautiful inside out and deserves the best of the best.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “We can go inside and talk away from all of this smoke and disgusting, putrid smell,” scrunching her nose at that Yeji, wraps an arm firmly around Gayoung’s shoulder, ushering the slender woman into her hold, securely keeping her close and glancing around; still a bit wary if anyone is lurking around and did say something horrible to the girl or worse yet `did` something. Even though Gayoung said the opposite, Yeji knows this is how Gayoung is, she tends to bottle up her feelings and if she’s hurt, she rather not say and keep it to herself. Something that Yeji tried working hard on is getting her friend to start opening up more and talking out her issues even if it’s with her. Yeji always offered to be Gayoung’s trustworthy diary of a friend, someone who gives hugs back if she wanted comfort from a human form teddy rather than talking it out. Yeji goes back down memory lane and her heart aches at the thought, missing Gayoung even more so and she ends up confessing her prior thoughts about the girl upon entering the bar and grill.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “You know, when I first arrived here, I thought of you and instantly missed having you around, you know I’m shy and reserved, and having you around always made it easier,” Yeji confesses with a sheepish smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners and sparkling a smidge upon getting her wish answered even if it wasn’t under ideal circumstances, seeing that Gayoung is heartbroken over something that’s haunting her from her past or present; Yeji doesn’t know for sure, but either way, she wants to be here for the young woman once again. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ੈ࿐♥︎

@hwang yeji Gayoung thought she was alone in that alleyway, the world around her almost spinning and blurring about as she was squatting. She was dizzy and bawling at the same time, her hands shaking and clasped together tightly, as if that was something that could ground her in reality. The visual of her parents’ dead bodies flashed behind her eyelids like a horror movie on loop and the tears continued. She had no idea how long she had been there, she had been numb to time and usually PTSD episodes like this can last from 10 minutes to even hours. She had to let herself calm down because she was definitely not safe driving home on her motorcycle in this emotional state, she could get herself killed in the process.

With her face tucked between her upper arms, not visible, the only thing separating her from her surroundings were her loud sobbing noises. No one should see her face when she’s like this, it makes her feel , exposed. The bar right by the alleyway was bustling with noise, the smell of alcohol and rowdy boys, but she passed that thought, not caring for it. She just wanted to be alone in her thoughts until they disappeared. But suddenly she felt a sensation on her skin, like an angel had been nearby and decided to hug her. Her body itself was cold and chill both from the environment as well as her emotions, so she couldn’t really feel the warmth.

“Did someone hurt you? Hey,” she heard a voice. It was softened, like a blur on a photo since her ears always rang a tight and high tune when she was crying by herself. Her face was still pushed downward but, shakily, she brought it up, not looking at the possible stranger who was trying to comfort her. She didn’t see their face, not yet. She couldn’t make eye contact. “N-no, no… I’m fine, something just happened. No one hurt me, i-it’s a personal issue. My brain, you know. H-head’s dizzy…” she started to ramble on. Of course she could barely form words when a hellscape was playing in her mind. She just hoped the words that came out made sense, and she continued. “It’s not serious, don’t wo- Yeji?!” mid-sentence she had decided to look up, finally seeing the face of her impromptu angel. It was her close friend from years past, someone she hadn’t seen for some time, Hwang Yeji.

@moon gayoung ༾♥️༿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀`Time doesn’t heal anything… it teaches us how to live with the pain.`

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Strobes of blinding lights catch the young woman’s view, her eyes darkening and widening, her pupils largening from the intense shine that breaks free and encompasses her irises, Yeji feels out of place. Normally, the girl goes out and explores places and has her share of fun, even if she’s shy and reserved, there are times when she enjoys getting out, however, today her roommate is here with his friends. Yeji decided to accompany Christopher, he went off to talk to his friends and get drinks and the nervousness that starts swarming and swindling her spine has the young woman feeling nauseous.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “, I need some air,” panting out deeply, Yeji stumbles out of her stool, leaving the area and looking at Chris only for a brief moment, figuring that he would assume she went to the restroom perhaps. Once again, whilst hearing the music booming out of the speakers, ricocheting off the walls and surrounding the people flocking the dancefloor in the bar, has Yeji's head spinning. She feels dizzy and breathless as she stumbles without any sense of direction over to the back exit, the young woman didn’t even know there was an exit door there, just spotting a door and thinking ‘an escape!’ Haphazard feet stumble out the door and break through the seams of the suffocating crowd, blaring music and puffs of weed and cigar smoke billowing around the air.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “!” She wants to scream and she’s just about to bring up both hands into her hair, ready to yank and scream her lungs out, sure that no one inside the bar would be able to hear her with how loud the music is back inside. The broken cries and sobs, struggling to breathe with hiccups of breath and agony searing across Yeji’s skin, oh so familiar and eerie grazes across her flesh and bring about a trail of new goosebumps lining her fair skin.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Hello…?” Calling out into the putrid air isn’t pleasant, her nostrils flaring, stomach-churning, and her body shuddering from the chilly wind.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀`Sometimes crying is the only way your eyes speak when your mouth just can’t explain how broken your heart is.`

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The waves of anguish and agony wash over Yeji in the broken woman’s cry, tears at her heartstrings, and without thinking twice, not even caring if it’s someone homeless, someone dangerous, not caring about a single thing! Yeji finds herself squatting down to the woman before her, hands coming out and she effortlessly reaches out with her long arms, wrapping around the girl and holding her into a half hug. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, are you okay? What’s happening hm? Did someone do you something?” Yeji finally allows the wave of comforting notion to dissipate, having a weird feeling about the situation. It’s not particularly good either, she cannot see the girl’s face; it is buried and cupped in her hands as wails rack her frame, so she focuses on the surrounding area, searching for anyone nearby and hoping the poor girl wasn’t just attacked.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Did someone hurt you? Hey,” she whispers and she tries to pull back just a bit, wanting to pry the woman’s hands away from her face, wanting to scope her out for any signs of injuries and blood. The rancid scent surrounding Yeji doesn’t even worsen her stomach’s condition prior to coming out here thinking she’d escape a ‘hot mess’ on the inside of the bar, meeting something even worse. What has Yeji's stomach churning and feeling that sickening urge to throw up her meal earlier on, is speculating over many scenarios about what is wrong with the girl, did someone hurt her? Assault her? Too many thoughts are flooding her mind; zero answers. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ༾♥️༿

@hwang yeji Another week. Another week of non-stop nightmares and flashbacks of the event. Gayoung always hated this. She’d see something mildly triggering or anything that reminded her of it and her PTSD would go off the wall and punish her for weeks, even months at some point. The trigger for this week of hell was that she saw a car model that was painfully similar to the one her parents died in all those years ago. Almost none of her friends and much less her acquaintances knew about this little condition of hers, save for that one friend back in university. She had gotten treatment for a while but she just could no longer afford it. It was both uncomfortable and dangerous for her, especially with her lifestyle. She would always be going around on her motorcycle at night. If a flashback hit at that time and she was on the road… she shuddered just thinking about it.

That night, Gayoung was finishing a round of deliveries of kimbap to some establishments near the bar-filled area of the city. She had one more delivery left, it was meant for the security guards for this bar she used to frequent back in college. They had ordered 6 servings of tteokbokki and it was definitely weighing down on her as she carried the large plastic bag around. She was no longer familiar with the area, getting lost slightly for a few minutes, needing to call one of the customers until she found the spot they were in. She handed them their food and she took their payment, shoving it in her jacket’s pocket. She swiftly turned around, looking for where she had parked her motorcycle. That’s when it hit. The full body chill, the shudder going through her muscles, the trembling lower lip and the blurred eyesight. It was a sudden, almost intrusive, thought.

“God, not again… please…” Knowing how this would go, usually ending in a crying fit, Gayoung sprinted into an alleyway right beside the bar, not really caring of the tipsy customers passing her way. Her back pressed against the wall, she was desperate to find something to ground her to reality and not bring her back to the flashback. But it was too late, the thoughts and visuals of the whole event were buzzing in her mind without fail.

Heavy rain. Bloody hands hanging outside of a door. Firemen and policemen screaming. Young Gayoung sobbing and crying, trying to tear through the police tape surrounding the site of the accident.

The lump in could very well be out of , she felt like she was about to choke. Her mind knew that her parents were gone and she couldn’t do a damn thing about it, and yet it still showed her these horrific scenes from her childhood, none she wanted to remember. Why couldn’t she repress her bad memories like a normal person? Gayoung broke down into tears, curling forward in the alleyway until she fell down. She pushed her body backwards and cried into her palms, squatting on the damp and odorous alleyway floor. She couldn’t even silence her voice with her crying, and people started to stare. It didn’t matter, this wasn’t something she could stop, really. Not without proper medical treatment anyway. All she could do was ride the wave of needles and thorns until it passed and she could get back to work.