Sector 003: Ventus Dormitories

NOTICE: NEW THANATOS
http://www.roleplayrepublic.com/roleplay/view_desc/10301/

REVAMP: After about twelve days of on and off working on it, the admins have finally finished a polished version of Thanatos. Those still interested, please apply there!

PLEASE NOTE: ALTHOUGH WE HAVE MAINTAINED THE BASIC SECTORS, A LOT HAS BEEN CHANGED ABOUT THANATOS. PLEASE READ CAREFULLY BEFORE APPLYING.

Thank you and we hope to see you there!
Luhan (Yoona in new Thanatos) and Seo In-guk (Jeongguk in new Thanatos)

MOVING NOTICE: Thanatos is to be renovated. Instead of revamping, the admins have decided on creating a new roleplay. It will be under the same name, but many things will have been changed.

NEW LOCATION WILL BE PUT UP AS SOON AS IT IS FINISHED.

The halls were silent.

Youngjae was one who was silent but didn't like silence. It was so chilling that he got goosebumps from the emptiness of the school.

He looked around for his dorm and saw a door engraved with "VENTUS".

"This is the place." He whispered. Even his whisper caused an echo.

Feeling chilled he rubbed his arms from goosebumps and walked in the dormitory with his luggage.

[[IMPORTANT: We are having a masterlist clean-up. Please comment on the announcement that is oh-so-conveniently named "Masterlist Clean-up" to tell us whether you intend on staying in our roleplay or not. If you are on hiatus, you do not have to leave a comment. However, please do tell us how long your hiatus will last. All people who do not leave a comment will be removed. No exceptions.]]

@Luhan [[A room that was next to his* lmao]]

Numb.

Never in his life had Luhan ever felt so numb. There was no way In-guk could be dead. He was just alive, he was just there, blowing winds around them. How was it possible for him to be dead? He slowly made his way to a room that was his.

The name read: Seo In-guk. As he pushed the door open, he was met by a mess. A mess of clothes and papers and whatnot. A smile crept up his face until reality caught up to him. He sat down on the bed and opened up the locket. He spared it one glance, and it slid through his numb hands, landing on the floor.

It was a picture of Luhan, In-guk and Yongguk. They had their arms around each other and were smiling at the camera. He picked it up, put it around his neck and continued his way around the room.

There were numerous pictures around In-guk's room- all of which he did not pay attention to, for fear of crying. He made his way to In-guk's desk and stood there staring.

"An empty chair... at an empty table, where my friend will sit no more..." He closed his eyes and shook his head.

In-guk spent enough time chasing after him. It was high time he chased after In-guk.

@Bang Yongguk [[yup. except it was "i like you", not "i love you".]]

@Seo In-guk [Hiatus] [Ohmygod isn't that what you said to "N" when you confessed to him LOL]

@Seo In-guk [Hiatus] Luhan jumped to his feet. It was too late; In-guk teleported away already. His face contorted into an angry scowl and he turned to kick the couch.

He yelled his frustration and took deep breaths to calm himself down.

"You idiot!" He swore under his breath, before bolting out the room.

@Luhan Dear God, what had he done?

In-guk covered his face with his hand, stopping the tears that were threatening to fall again. "Luhan...I...it's not that." He raised his head, his heart pounding. He had to say it. He had nothing to lose. "I love you, damn it. I know we're friends and all, but I just can't help it and it makes me feel like a moron."

Taking in a shuddering breath, he whispered. "I'm sorry."

A few seconds passed, seconds that felt like years. In-guk covered his face again. "I'm sorry," he repeated, before teleporting away like the coward he was.

What more could he say? That he'd loved Luhan from the start, but was too blind to admit it? That he'd always stayed around the places Luhan liked to go to, hoping that he'd see him? That, both times he'd kissed Hoya, he imagined he was kissing Luhan?

None of those words were of any use. In-guk knew that, with this one stupid move of his, their friendship was broken.

[[i just recycled words and feelings from my own confession because i was too ____in lazy xD]]

@Seo In-guk [Hiatus] Luhan stiffened, eyes wide. He felt the gentle pressure of In-guk's lips on his, and his eyes fluttered a bit before firmly staying open with shock.

This was In-guk. His age-old friend.

This is wrong, thundered his brain. But nothing else was supporting it right now. As much as Luhan knew, he just didn't know how to deal with his current situation.

Wasn't In-guk dating some guy anyway? Hoyu- or something like that. Luhan wasn't going to be In-guk's toy- friend or not, Luhan would not sit and be a pleasure toy. Never again.

But his body didn't respond to him, so he just sat there, warring with himself. He sat for what felt like a minute- but was only probably half a minute- and pushed In-guk's face away from him.

"Weren't you dating that boy- uh- Hoyu? Or something..." Luhan desperately grasped for his mask.

@Seo In-guk [Hiatus] [[asdfghjk INHAN ERMAHGOSH]]

@Luhan [[ok i don't know what to do so i'm initiating inhan]]

In-guk jumped at the sharp noise, the cowardly rabbit in him wanting to bolt. He steeled his nerve. He was a changed person now, not the same coward he used to be.

Luhan was fragile, so, so fragile, and In-guk couldn't just sit around and watch any more. He had to be with him physically, to comfort him in his nightmares, to be his support.

It was almost funny how he had to be blinded in order to see so clearly.

Emotions overflowed, spilling out of his shattering facade. Emotions that he had kept stored away for years, until they were tarnished and broken, old and unwanted. His true emotions.

Slowly and hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around the younger student's figure. "Luhan, don't be scared. I'll never leave you," he whispered, rubbing circles on his back with his hand.

His heart thundered in his chest. It was now or never. The time for waiting had passed.

"Let me take the pain away," he murmured softly before, with the feeling that he was throwing his life away, gently pressing his lips to Luhan's.

[[AHAHAHAHA WTF AM I DOING MY WRITING IS UTTER SHIET]]

@Seo In-guk [Hiatus] Luhan slammed his fist down on the couch, the loud noise breaking the silence. In comparison to the soft and hesitant tones of their voices, the loud noise was obtrusive.

But he couldn't care less. He didn't care if In-guk was suprised. He didn't care about the bruise- that was sure to form. At the moment, he didn't care about anything except the fact that his oldest friend was on the verge of leaving him.

"Let bygones be bygones," He said evenly, in stark contrast to the internal battle he was having. Red edged in on his eyesight and he could smell the tangy, metallic scent of blood.

Blood, blood, blood, chanted the demon.

Desperation flooded him. He couldn't let the demon out again- not out on In-guk again. He tried to contain it. He tried, really.

His vision flickered with red, and the next thing he knew, he was the one behind cages and the demon outside. His usual dead grey eyes sparked back to life, turning into a burning black.

Unfortunately, it was black with anger and fear and other things Luhan just couldn't comprehend.

"You won't leave me. I won't allow it. You'll stay with me... and I'll make sure of it." He snarled.

@Luhan It was easy, so so easy, for In-guk to fall back now. To forget the events that had just come to pass, and to return to the soap-bubble utopia of his own creation. The fragile world, held together by a single thread and fabricated from lies, that he had fought to protect. For Luhan.

Now he realized that he'd only hurt him. The mirage he'd so painstakingly created was, in the end, only a mirage. It would never heal the scars Luhan bore, nothing ever would.

He wasn't forgiven.

The pain In-guk had caused was unforgivable. Being a bystander and letting things happen was even worse than committing the act itself. The physical pain was fleeting. Emotional pain lasted.

He had been trying to piece together the shards of Luhan's broken soul for years, but he knew now that it would never be whole again. He had been watching, protecting, hoping for these years at Thanatos, praying that a miracle would erase the darkness that haunted Luhan's every step. The darkness that In-guk could have prevented.

In-guk didn't know how his desire to ease his guilt became love, but it did.

In-guk didn't know when his feelings for Luhan started to amount to more than friendship and compunction, but they did.

In-guk didn't know when his walls and his ornate mask had crumbled, but they did.

Now, steeped in a flood of lies as he was, something needed to change. He couldn't hide from the truth, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Liar," he said, his voice foreign to his ears. "You don't forgive me, so don't. I can't live in these lies any longer."

[[SORRY FOR THE ____ I'M TIRED.]]

[[T^T you people and your essay writing... It makes me feel like not replying right now >_>]
But your flipping amazing writing~~~~ >_<]]

[OMG LULU YOUR WRITING IS A;LSDKFJ;ALSKDF]

Sorry couldn't heal the scars he bore on his back. Sorry couldn't heal the mental scars he relived every night. Sorry didn't make up with the insanity that was now a part of him. Sorry couldn't do anything for him.

Sorry didn't cut it. Demons still followed him everywhere. His scars still ached with a phantom pain. Insanity still lit up his eyes.

Luhan always woke up suffocating from invisible chains, flinching from non-existent touches, screaming at someone long dead. Six feet under and he was still terrified of her. Figures... Some things just never leave you.

He could feel her hands ghosting around his body. He could feel the cuffs digging in. He could feel the way her breath fanned across his body.

But he tried. He desperately tried to forget that he was not whole, not innocent. He liked to be perfect. But he was so far from it and every inch away from perfection killed him a bit more. Didn't everyone realize that they were talking to someone already dead?

Luhan liked to pretend otherwise. Pretend that he was a shell. Pretend that he was the charming, suave head boy. Pretend to be whatever anyone wanted him to be. He lived his life for someone else. He lived, at first, to be a heir. Then, he lived to be a punching bag.

But the light broke through the clouds and he lived to be a friend. He basked in the warmth of friends, but it felt so much colder when he was forced to face reality. He was chilled to the bone each time, and the temperature could only drop lower. After the brief light, he was plunged back into a never-ending pit of depression. He saw darkness everyday.

And eventually, he embraced it. The darkness was where he was meant to be. He was the product of a loveless marriage. He lived to be a -slave. He lived to be in the darkness.

But Luhan hated the darkness so much. It scared him how easily he slipped into the dark. It scared him that someday everyone would leave him in the dark. Someday, they would realize that he was a black cat pretending to be a white one.

How could they love him when he didn't even love himself? How could anyone love a man made for darkness? He refused to hope that anyone would stay for him, love him, and care for him. Why?

Hope was temporary antidote that poisoned the soul. Though really, did he have anything to fear? He had lost his soul long ago. When he lost it was an unanswerable question; how can you tell when everything is black?

He preferred to stick with his misery and it was enjoyable because misery just adored his company.

What was the point of hoping? It brought you up to heights you could only dream of, yes, but why didn't anyone realize that the drop was fatal?

Things could only get worse.

It was a beautiful day... But it would wither into the evening; into pure darkness and then- the day was over.

Sometimes he wondered when he had become so, so numb. When had he died? When had his twinkling, black eyes fade into the misty grey belonging to death? But then he remembered that there was only ever darkness for him.

So he waited for the inevitable slice of Death's scythe because Death was a farmer and he was a crop. Too bad, Luhan thought, smiling bitterly to himself. Death can't reap a plant that's as good as dead. But you still reap what you sow.

Had In-guk watered the plants of trust enough for a harvesting?


Right. In-guk.

Breaking from his reverie, Luhan looked at In-guk. Could he really forgive the man? In-guk could have saved him; could have prevented many things.

Could he really forget all the wrongs In-guk could have saved him from? Luhan didn't think so.

Forgiving was for the weak.



Luhan was always weak, though.
"I-I.. It's ok. I forgive you."

Blood? Whimpered the demon.

@Luhan Silence.

It drove In-guk's mind into a panic, a frenzied wreck, because silence meant nothingness, a vast black nothing that was his world.

"I...saw through the window. Bits and pieces of it. I wanted to stay over at your house one night when my dad kicked me out and I-" In-guk stopped, unable to continue. Words lodged themselves in his throat at the thought of what he'd witnessed and the knowledge that he hadn't seen it all.

His heart thudded in his chest, a steady beating that pushed lifeblood to every part of him, every part of a person who did not deserve to live. He dropped Luhan's stone-cold hand.

Childhood had been a lie, a carefully crafted mask of ignorance. He'd lived like that, pretending to know nothing, pretending that Luhan was whole, pretending that he was whole, pretending that he was innocent and pure, because pretending sometimes felt real and In-guk wanted that world, that dream-like utopia, to exist. But it was, at the end, a fabricated reality, a pipe dream, that popped like a soap bubble into the real world. The vast, real world of nothing.

Escapist, that was the word. In-guk was an escapist. Lost in reality's maze, he'd fled to a world of make-believe and dragged Luhan along with him. Now, he had to face the bitter truths that he'd stored away for so long, so long that he'd almost forgotten.

Truth was a monster, a hideous monster, that he personally needed to expose. He owed Luhan that much.

His words weren't enough to heal the scars that had festered in Luhan's heart over the years and years of pretending. Those scars were indelible, etched within him, and none of the pretty words he could say would ever heal them.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, the phrase weak as rabbit paws against the claws of a wolf. "It's my fault, I'm sorry."

Little rabbit paws. Cowardly rabbit paws. Weak nothings, like a band-aid on an axe wound.

[[This is choppy cuz the reply box is too freaking small and I'm too lazy to reread it. LOL. It's just a bunch of excerpts from my oneshot with the tense changed. Do wolves eat rabbits?]]

[[ERMAHGOSH THE INHAN HAPPENING XD]]

[[In-guk flipped his hair. "Because I'm Beyonce."]]

He knew- that was the only thing Luhan could think of. The words plagued him, fogging up his brain with a haze of hurt, confusion, and anger. He knew, but didn't do anything about it. He knew, but didn't help when needed. He knew, but turned a blind eye to it.

He knew? "How?" spat Luhan. Luhan wanted to believe that In-guk had done nothing wrong. The demon screamed and tore at the bars, shrieking for In-guk's blood. The demon shrieked for In-guk's body to lay at his feet. It screamed for the twisted angles of a cadaver.
It screamed for a blood offering.

The tears seeping from In-guk's eyes seemed to mollify the demon- although only slightly. It's screaming turned into whispers; suggestions.

Paint the walls with the liar's blood, whispered the demon. Luhan blinked.
The walls were red. Red, red. Red with blood. Dripping, melting. Turning into an asylum. Blades, blades. Blades with blood. Slicing, cutting. Turning into a body. Tears, tears. Tears of blood.

He sealed off his expression and let the ice in his heart cut him up to shreds. He let it kill him from the inside. He let his cold, cold hand fall limp. He let the life drain out of his eyes.

"Why?" He asked in a monotone. Luhan let everything fall into silence. He willed muscles to stop moving, and willed his breathing to fall silent as well. Bred to kill and born to die, he told himself.

Only the clock ticked.




Blood, whispered the demon.

[LOLOL OMG HAHA
Gukkie's writing is so beautiful <3]

@Luhan "Luhan, I..." In-guk swallowed, not sure how the younger student was going to take it. "I knew all along. About what your...adoptive parents were doing to you. I could see it in your eyes everyday but I-" He breathed in deeply, struggling to contain himself. "When I saw how you were at the ruins, I realized the extent of the damage they did. And all that time, I just watched and I didn't do a ing thing to help you." Taking in another shuddering breath, he covered his sightless eyes in a vain attempt to stem his tears.

"Maybe...it's a good thing my sight is gone," he finally said, his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. "It's fitting, isn't it? An eye for an eye, literally."

It was a strange sort of acceptance. His eyes, eyes that witnessed horrors but hid all with a smile, eyes that watched and watched and watched but never acted, eyes that let Luhan suffer for years, were obliterated. He was free of that accursed sight which had led him to become the person he never wanted to be. A coward, and a liar.

"I'm sorry," he choked.

[[DUN DUN DUN DUN DRAMAAAAAAAA i'm actually writing a oneshot concerning in-guk and his eyes. that little paragraph there is an excerpt from it. as you can see, i like run-on sentences.]]

"Hm?" Luhan turned his head towards In-guk, curiosity sparking in his eyes. In-guk's hand engulfed his and In-guk's hand was so warm. [[Ugh, the fluff.]]

His hands were always cold, and whenever his hand brushed against the older man's, it was a crash. A pain that didn't hurt, and really, was something that could- potentially- be addicting.

How morbid, he thought. To be addicted to pain.

[[Excuse my tangent.]]

[ i like the alternative ending better. Inhan ftw~ ]

[[HAH. gay.]]

@Luhan Hearing the sound of Luhan drawing circles on the couch, In-guk stepped uncertainly towards him. "You're uncomfortable," he frowned. "You only do that when something's on your mind."

Carefully sitting himself down on the couch, he grasped around until he was holding Luhan's hand. It was still small and soft compared to his own, and holding onto it helped In-guk feel more grounded, like he was finally in control of something.

"Luhan," he started, his voice quiet. "I've been meaning to say this for a while. I-" He hesitated, clearing his throat. "I'm sorry."

[["BBY I LUV YOU FIVE-EVAH AND ALWAYS SO BE MINE ALREADY! <3" he squealed.]]

Luhan tapped In-guk before teleporting to the couches and sitting down.

The discomfort on In-guk's face was so apparent. He bit his lip and drew circles on the arm of the sofa, a small habit he picked up.

Man, he had really fxcked up this time... Turning on the only person he had- not the most intelligent thing he's ever done.

[[*slightly]]