thoughts and appreciation

hi, just spilling some thoughts and overdue appreciation. read if you care, if not, have a good day and thank you for stopping by < 3

I've been meaning to write this appreciation post on several occassions now but never got around to doing so. Most likely due to my procrastinating self, but also very likely the perfectionist in me that finds it hard to put feelings into words - especially with the amount of love i have for a lot of you here. I've started the final year of my 5 year long degree now ( YEaaa) and as i do every year, I might start to fade out of rpr when work overloads me - but before that happens, I wanted to make sure I post this. It's going to be long ish, full of typos and confusing things, probably sappy too since I'm always sleepy writing. thank you in advance if you take the time to read, my friends hehe

First of all, the appreciation. I've been feeling a lot of gratitute towards the people here over the last few months, not that i don't appreciate you all on the daily, it's just been overwhelmingly more recently. I can't start to describe how thankful I am to have made the friends I have over the past couple of years. Whether we talk alot, only once a year or purely in the rp chats - everyone's interactions matter to me, more likely than not you would've put a smile on my face and destressed me in some way or another. Thank you. I've matured quite a bit since I've joined, and I do owe quite a lot of it to rpr and all of you. I don't want to name names because I mainly mean everyone on this platform, but to the people on my friend list -

thank you. i love you. ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

Thank you for giving me a space explore my creativity, to expand my emphathy and for keeping my ego grounded. Thank you for all of you who have made me realise the importance of communication and the impact words can have. For making me realise my priviledge and the naiveness that comes with it. For teaching me to be open with my feelings, to write and to not forget the importance of thesaurus.com because deft digits = skilled fingers. y'all if i heard that irl i would have thought it meant deaf numbers forreals. Thank you for giving me the space to be someone else i wish to be and to be me without filters. For the safe space you all have given me to be happy, be confident, be sad and be depressed and for all the support that's come along side all of it because it is ok to be all of the above, and you all taught me that. All the mistakes i've made, all the exposure from the diversity of this community and the conversations I've had - I have grown to be, at the very least, a better version of me than the me that joined 3 years ago, heck i am even a better version of me than yesterday. im so sappy but i really do appreciate it all, whether i've fought with you and had our differences, i do think i've cultivated all of this experience into life lessons.
so thank you all my babies but also thank you to all my haters hah,
you've made me so powerful and you will continue to see me thrive. 凸 (o´▽`o) 凸

~ now for some brewed thoughts ~

rpr is such a powerful platform. maybe its because of this ability as a place that allows us to express, act and be just about anyone we'd ever want to be, with the added benfits of anonymity as a safety mask. maybe i'm just really out of the loop bc i haven't been on the lookout for rps, but to me it's obvious in the way the site has developed over the years that its nature in fostering creative writings is on a decline. this platform is developing into somewhat of a more another social media space and i personally think that there are both amazing and mildly terrifying implications that comes with this. as much as i am appreciative of this platform, it's clear to me that i was only empowered with these emotions from how much this site effects us irl. how habits here will gradually but surely soak into our physical presences, let it be mannerisms, ideals, or communicative traits; no matter how good of a roleplayer you are, a character you portray here is a more or less a fragment of your identity and vice versa. but rpr is not and will never be a our real and tangible reality.

it scares me how much people might not realise the underlaying effects of this. although more often than not, the site has given me more of the pros than the cons, i just wanted to point out some ingrained micro ... problems? i guess we could call it that, of this platform. just some food for thought (me blabbing tbh)

1. i know that character building can be really good for roleplaying. the depths for character, their backgrounds etc etc. not only that, but bc of the way this platform portrays an individual (name and profile pic) your need to create an identity larger than needed is even more than usual, otherwise how can others notice you, right? i feel like this is just so.. strange. especially to the younger ones on this site, who can starts to develope this entitled sense of self (im really generalising here). always remember that what you do here to achieve personality or some sort of hierarchy is unequal to a real life achievement. being big here doesn't mean you're big irl. be respectful. being a tsun here is all fun and games but out there, people may not receive those traits the same way (just an example, not pointing at anyone in particular) - so don't hate them for not understanding you. just bc you rp someone older here, doesnt add years to your real age. stay grounded, stay humble. dont forget that.

2. it's so easy to start to be selective here, bc in the end we just reduces to the presence of name. but just bc it is easy to be selective, dont make it a habit to be conciously exclusive. people here are not stupid. if anything the platform has made us all psychologically and emotionally smarter by reducing our means of expression to only text form. so dont make rps if you're not going to at least try to talk to everyone. dont go about making discord servers if you're going to ignore people. would you create a club irl then ignore people at took there time, effort and energy to come join and attend? if you do, good luck in life, you're gna need it. this is 2020, as much as freedom of speech and self expression is important, just also be considerate. be humane. listen to people. alot of people come here as a way to relief lonesome and sadness, no one needs any added pressure to that. be nice, even if you're getting annoyed with someone. we all have feelings out here and its fragile ok

3. this one is obvious, but time here doesnt translate to time irl. rping a whole week here doesn't give you a week of experience and real social interaction irl. value your time bc you it's the one thing you can go back on. let rpr be the side hobby and don't let it engulf your reality. if you like who are here, the friends you've made here - then let that be a starting point in realising who you desire to be as a person. bring out these qualities irl. you've already mustered the courage to be someone here, take your time to give yourself the courage to be the same irl. don't hide on this site for hours on end bc you're too afraid to go out there.
you CAN do it, you've already done it on rpr, now go be the person you want to be out there too.

UGH. there so much more on my mind but this blog is getting too long. maybe i'll write a part 2, simply bc this site is so interesting and we can all learn so much from it. but maybe not bc i have no idea if any of this makes any sense JKfDSLF.

if you've read this far, you're a real bae hehehehe. you're doing great today except for the fact that you've just procrastinated by reading 1500 words of this blog, but hey, i love you?

hHEHHE ok i go now bye

don't forget to like and subscribe for more rose_petals content and comment down below what you find disgusting about me to i can reflect and ~ bE a BeTTer me tOmoRroW ~

lmaO ok peace.