I don’t know that this will happen but I’m thinking a hiatus away from RPR may be in my future to make some decisions. I don’t want to do that because this is my stress relief and my step away from reality. (Role play wise obviously and not you guys! ) Last night I couldn’t even reply back to the person that I considering my RPR BFF. The writer’s block honestly had me in near tears and that’s NOT a healthy sign. If, and this is a great big if, I do this, it will only be for a week to just a few days. I will be on tonight (and this weekend) to finally write the replies that I owe. So we’ll see what happens. I have a lot of reflection on changes I obviously need to make in my life and I need to see if the step away helps or if the stress/business will all be the same.
What lead to all of this other than the writer’s block? My work is insane this week. Like the most insane I have ever seen it in the time I have been with his company. Wednesday I worked so hard and worked overtime at that. Yesterday was better but I ended up having several panic attacks at the end of the day and nothing seemed to calm them down at all. Breathing, self-talk and even one of the girls gave my shoulders a massage. Nothing. I’m at my wits end here. I do not want to give up role playing but if work continues like this, I may have to just because it’s not fair to the people that I write with. You all deserve better than what I have been giving you.
I didn’t foresee it getting to this point this week, even with my previous blog to give you all a heads up. I thought I’d just be slow and to bear with me on that. I can handle and have handled a lot in my life but this is just getting insane. The busiest times for my work are starting to come up so I’m foreseeing this happening again. It will especially if they end up firing one of the girls who’s pretty much useless at this job in the next few weeks. I’m not kidding there. She’s been here a year and you’d think she started a few weeks ago. It took them several months to find this girl too so we’ll be down a person for quite a while again.
I’m not making any decision now and I’m not making light of this either. It’s something I’m going to have think over and weigh the options I have out. I don’t want to make an emotional decision and then regret it later. I’ve done that on here twice and it’s something I have learned from each time I did it. I need time to step back and think it through from all angles and weigh what is best for me and you all too.
I love you all dearly and I know that even if I do step away completely, I will still have you all in my life. You’re good people and I know very well that each of you may be disappointed if I do quit RPing but you’ll also understand too. Again, I wouldn’t be friends with you all if you weren’t good people. :) I will still be here but just not RPing /IF/ that does happen.
Also if you’d like to follow me on Tumblr, I’m vitasatusiam on there. I do a nightly and sometimes morning runs on there. It’s relaxing looking at pretty boys.
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