Hah. Angst Caution.

So funny ... 

So funny ... 

So ...

I shouldn't be crying

Because I already knew

I was never part of them when it came to the boys

Curious right?

What the happened? 

So before the holiday starts, my friends planned on a hangout for the close friends that were the same class last year

The bunch of girls Im with actually asked me

Then I said as long as this guy not going then I'll go

Then I never hear anything from them, even though I got the hint they weren't going to invite me

But theres a friend thats very close to me everyday, we're like girl friends, we stay together every single day.

I couldnt believe she didn't even try to defend me when it came to the boys.

She couldve at least call them to invinite me?

So in the end she couldnt even beg the boys because of her dignity,

She wouldnt even lose a bit of her pride infront of the 'cool' guys.

So yeah. Whatever.

When I see the photos being posted. 

It just burns.

I wanted to cry at the spot. 

But I couldnt.

I was so jealous.

Im never close with the boys.

Im never perfect for them.

this

them

So I have this really close primary friend

We dont meet often, maybe once or twice a year

But Ive known her for more than 8 years.

So I can only think of her in this situation.

I could only find her to rant with.

I feel happy and proud to at least still have her on my side.

Like man, I couldnt even describe my feelings

It just hurts so much

Seeing them have fun.

JEALOUSY KILLS ALRIGHT.

Update:

Know what I just saw? 

My best friend posting the picture with "Grade 7A reunited"

wtf.

So I was never part of them.

K

Words couldnt describe anything.

At this times, I could only think of Luhan and Kris.

Why cant I follow my dreams to be a singer?

Then my friends, was I never part of them.

Shiiit.

I feel like breaking down in the inside.

Yet I still have to plaster a smile infront of my parents.

Thats why I like holidays.

I could stay at my room not needing to plaster a freaking smile on my face !

Seeing people smile and laugh makes ma puke.

Disguisting.

Something's eating me up in the inside.