Blind Date: Kpop edition
A screenplay written by Kerry
Cast:
Jess ~ played by Jess
Contestant no.1 ~ played by Kai
Contestant no.2 ~ played by Taemin
Contestant no.3 ~ played by Tao
Cilla Black ~ played by Kerry
Voice over man (aka Graham) ~ played by Mir
Audience ~ played by random people kidnapped from the streets
Act 1: Scene 1
cheesy intro music plays. The scene consists of a stage surrounded by an enthusiastic audience.The walls are painted in garish 90's bright colours of pink, purple and yellow. The words of “Blind Date” blink in bold, lit up letters at the back of the stage. The stage is split up into two sides with a partition screen; the one on the right is much larger than the left. It holds two bar stools evenly spaced apart and facing the audience. The right side only has one bar stool.
Voice over man: Welcome to... Bliiiiiind Date! With your host... Kerr- I mean, Cilla Black!
Audience: cheers
Cilla Black [aka Kerry in a wig putting on a Liverpool accent] enters with her arms spread wide and a grin on her face.
Cilla: Welcome to Blind Date! It's nice to see you, to see you-!
Random voice off stage: Wrong catchphrase!
Cilla: glances around looking flustered. Oh. Oops. Composes herself and smiles towards multiple directions before finding the camera again. Well, moving on. Welcome to Blind Date. Tonight we have a lovely young lady looking for her Mister Right. But before we meet her, shall we meet our three contestants?
Audience: Cheers in agreement.
Three men enter the stage. Contestant number 2 waves enthusiastically towards the audience while he walks in a long, brown wig, poncho and a bright orange sombrero. The other two contestants, number 1 with his shirt open revealing his tanned abs, glance across at him with questioning looks on their faces. The three of them reach the three bar stools on the left side of the stage and sit down
Contestant number 3: leans over to contestant number 2 and whispers What are you wearing?
Contestant number 2: glances down at his own outfit innocently and says What? A lovely couple called Simon and Martina styled me Smiles pleasantly.
Before contestant number 1 can join in the conversation, Cilla Black walks over and silences them with a smile.
Cilla: Aren't these such lovely boys? Stares too long at contestant number 1's abs. Continues to look at his abs as she asks Number 1, who are you and where d'you come from?
Contestant number 1: Leans back in his chair casually My name is Kai and I come from Exo. Smirks.
Cilla: Exo... do you mean Exeter?
Kai: chuckles and shakes his head.
Cilla: moves towards Contestant number 2, her eyes still on Kai's abs. Finally drags her eyes away and finally notices Contestant number 2's attire. Hello number 2... blinks Who are you and where d'you come from?
Random voice off stage: This is getting kind of repetitive.
Contestant number 2: Enthusiastic Hi, my name's Taemin and I'm from Shinee!
Cilla: Hmmm, sounds like a nice place. Moves towards Contestant number 3. Number 3, hello! Who are you and where d'you come from?
Contestant number 3: Tao. Same place as that guy Points to Kai.
Cilla: Raises eyebrows and a smile grows on her face Does that mean you have abs like him too?
Tao: Rolls eyes and sighs.
Cilla: Well, it's lovely to meet you boys... voice trails off as her eyes wander to Kai's abs again. Shall we meet the lovely lady who they will be competing for?
Audience: Yes!
Cilla: Well, here she is! It's Jessica from England... someplace....!
Jess enters in from the right hand side of the stage so the three contestants can't see her. Cilla walks over to greet her as Jess sits down on her bar stool.
Cilla: Hello Jess. Are you excited to be here?
Jess: It's not like you asked me if I wanted to be here. You're the one who's writing this screenplay as a surprise for me even though, when you asked me who my favourite male bias was, you said there was no reason for it--
Cilla: Oh, err.... Glances around until her gaze meets the camera. Let's take a break, shall we? Smiles brightly.
Voice over man: Don't go anywhere! ~ seriously though, don't because I'll totally-- gets cut off and commercial music starts to play.
end of Act 1: scene 1
Act 1: scene 2 coming soon...
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