Rant #2. Right in the feels

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Authorpentagon
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i have no idea why i'm being so like this, it's stupid, i know that, but i can't help it.
today was a really great day, i won for my dancing competition, all those practices were really worth it, especially yesterday,
when we had to stay until 8, since it would be our last practice.. but since i'm a girl, i'm so insecure and stupid.. you were texting
you're crush, even asked me sometimes about how should you reply.. i however, of course couldn't deny you and help you.
but you were always immediately texting back. that was so annoying, but i couldn't tell you that i hated the fact how you would
immediately take out your phone to text her, even when we're dancing. i can't.

during the rehearsal you even said hello to her, when you did, you smiled widely. i guess i should be happy.. that you like someone,
but.. what should i feel? it's stupid you know. sometimes, i wish i was a guy, they always have an easy way out, they don't have 
drama in their friendship, they're always so carefree. while females on the other hand are always so insecure, and full of gossip.
remember when you tried comforting me during rehearsals, cuz you thought i was nervous and had a panic attack? that was just me
acting.. i couldn't tell you that i was being like that since my heart was in so much pain.

can i just have one day..? please? with you? can we pretend that our friendship is still the one as before, the one that made me fall
for you? please? i know it's hard but, can't we try for a moment? even if it's just pretend. cuz the pain.. it's just too much for me to
handle nowadays. it's so hard for me, pretending to smile for you. but at least you're happy..

this is just.. so very stupid. why do i always have to be dependant, on you. why you?
there's so many guys there, why didn't i fall for them instead? why are you my first love? my actual one.. when i know we can't be
together at all, ever. cuz you like someone else, and i'm here.. hiding in a barrier.

i'm actually flattered when other people say we look good together. they see it too.. you don't. but, maybe we're not mean't to be (:
so, i declare. as of 3.5.2013,
that i will ing forget my feelings for you, even if it's slowly. i will progress it.
i don't need to continue being fine for you, when i know we can't be together since faith doesn't want us to be.
i'm going to move on. but maybe one day, if you return your feelings for me, you're a few steps behind.


      but in all honestly, thank you sam.
             you're the reason why i'm stronger.
 still, you.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

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yourdog 11 years ago
/huggles you/ Poor umma. Dx Shall I send chocolates to you? xP
SeobieBB 11 years ago
LOLING at the last sentences
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