I can't stand this anymore.
I don't know what I should say... It's vacation, I thought that I will have more time for my friend, I had hope that everything in my life will be okay, but... at all it is not. I don't want to go out of home, I don't see the reason for talking. I can stay at home for all day and cry... My friends thinks that everything is okay with me, because I smiles, laughs, tell jokes etc. I always try to help my friends, because I did not think about my problems and I'm happy that I see their smile... but... I do not give yourself advice. A lot of my friends leave me and I don't know why. I'm boring? What is wrong with me? Why other people laughed at me? Why? Recently... I hurt myself again. I know that this is not a solution, but I think I should hurt me, I should bleed. I had to punish me. I can not talk about it with anyone in the real world, I'm afraid. I'm really afraid.
I think I should leave this place. I can't pretending anymore.
So... goodbye.
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