About the assault scandal surrounding Kim Hyun Joong.

Warning: long post and rant ahead. Excuse me for any spelling errors, this is a rant after all.

Ok, so let's start of liek this..

I've been listening to Kim Hyunjoong since 2011. He's been my idol crush, been one of the first kpop stars I adored and so on. His music was something I listened to that actually could make me happy again during those years when I suffered from bullying and even now his songs could help me be happy when I'm feeling down from time to time. 

So when I heard about this my heart literally broke in a million pieces. To know that the idol I've been looking up to and fantazised about and so on might be an abuser and most likey is from what it looks like now. 

I am sad, frustrated, disgusted and most of all dissapointed. I thought he was something better. I thought he was a good guy.. The pain is hard but I will not continue to support him if it turns out to be true and he really did abuse that girl. Because I will not support an abuser, never ever. I refuse to. His music might once have been so good to me and amazing and uplifting and whatever the you want to call it but he's an abuser..Or most likely is, whatever. And I can't accept that. 

And on top of that I sit here and I come across articles that completely crush my hope in humanity, like there ever was one. I come across these articles supporting and defending Kim Hyun Joong. And not like me, just hoping that it isn't true and that this is all just false and a bad dream. No, they are full of mysogyny, victim blaming and just general stupidity. This girl who's article I read obviously has no ing knowledge in the topic of domestic abuse and what it is like. 

I don't know from experience but from stories about and from people who actually have been abused and I can kind of imagine it. 

'Just walk away form it' 'Why do you let him do this to you?' 

Oh, yes , because that's exactly what she wanted. I mean we all want to be physically abused and have our ribs being broken and all that stuff that actually happened to her. ANd even worse, by someone you love.

I am so tired of all these ignorant, stupid people that writes these things. I'm glad that I've only read one and I really ing hope that I won't find more because this is ridiculous..It's just making me sad and I've lost all faith I had in humanity. 

Now I just hope that we'll all know the truth soon. 

And if it turns out he is the kind of man I really hope he isn't, if he turns out to actually be an abuser, I will not support him anymore. The posters, the songs on my playlist and phone, everything will be gone because I will not support an abuser. 

I give my condolences to the victim and I hope she get's the help and support she deserves and needs.