I'm not pregnant.

Alot has happened since last blog post, but mostly for the better! For the most part, I've acquired a new love interest who will be coming to see me this year!

So the issue from the last blog post of me possibly expecting with my exboyfriend is no longer a worry. Although at the time a small bit of me wanted this to happen, I knew I wasn't in the right predicament and position for any of that to happen easily. To this day, I haven't told him about that situation because he probably wouldn't have cared I think.

But after I was able to heal myself and grow, I began to be more social and talk to more people again; becoming my old self. I began to become active again on a international penpal website to make more Korean friends to help me with my language endeavors and ended up metting Jun, my current significant other. After exchanging messages there for a while, we then sent various messages and voicenotes to eachother. He told me my skills would get better if we had Korean conversation so that my listening and speaking skills would improve --mostly listening. So we found ourselves on Skype and kept doing so for numerous more nights until we both eventually admitted our feelings toward eachother. Now here we are he's flying all the way from Korea just to come see me and I can't possibly be more excited for it.

Not too long afterward, I received a message on Instagram from a certain somebody...guess who?

Without a doubt, I was taken aback by this, I mean-- who wouldn't?

Nevertheless, I found myself replying to him, thanking him for finally attempting to reach out to me and that I was better again. He asked how I had been and proceeded to tell me that he had been pretty rough since the dreaded day saying that he later broke up with the girl he left me for because he was still in love with me and also he had found himself drinking till blacked out drunk-- because otherwise he couldn't get to sleep at night due to his own thoughts or crying, or both-- and ended up with possible nerve damage in one of his hands. A small part of me was smiling a little at how karma had caught up to him but another wasn't phased by him.

You guys, I didn't give in to his words. At first he was saying all these nice things like, "I'm so glad we can be civil with eachother despite how things ended." and "I really ing miss you, Mariah."

That was until he had seen my KKT status message saying "WFJ <3" (Waiting For Jun <3) and asked about it:

"What does WFJ mean? What meaning does it carry?"

-"That's a secret"

"Is it a couple thing? Is this person another man?"

So when I confirmed it indeed was a male this was for/about, that's when everything went downhill.

He started sending these long, novella-like messages saying how Jun would never love me as much he did when we were together and how when we were together, there was nobody above me (lie; because he put himself before me) trying to make me feel guilty and , but I didn't falter. I reminded him of how I felt and if he really still cared, we wouldn't be sitting here in this situation, I told him he now knows how I felt that one day and ultimately it came down to this message here:

Whatever, dude. I don't owe you . Especially after everything you caused.

I told him if he continued with this kind of talk and putting down my new dear new beau, I would prefer not to talk to him at all and that was when he grew even more bitter but eventually said he would "Let go of the last bit of hope [he] had for us".

So yeah...

But I'll be honest guys, I feel so accomplished and much better about myself. I'm so grateful to Jun for being where he's at right now with me and helping me through my little tough times. I'm excited for us to go far and be happy together for a long time. Even more so, I'm beyond glad I can be my old self again and enjoy taking it all easy with somebody amazing. I can be happy again and warmly open up again; and that's an amazing feeling. <3

So yeah, maybe nobody really cares too much since it's been so long since I've talked to you guys and filled you in with my current life events, but yeah.

What do you think? I hope you all are proud of me.