why polyamory is a concept that is hard for me to grasp + why i feel like i'm not good enough

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Authorpsychology
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okkkkk so i'm back from spring break with a topic i've been wanting to talk about for a while. i honestly feel like a vlogger sometimes that just... complains about rpr all the time.bUt hey they're fine and informational. lets go, yo.

now, polyamory is a thing on this site. we have these polygamy rps and everything. in the time spent here i've seen at least 4 polyamorous couples. and i'm totally okay with them. love as many people as you want! if you feel equal then godammit be equal. i'm not gonna stop you. (of course cONSENTING polyamoury. no one likes a cheater) but... me? in a polyamorous relationship? i don't think so.

lets get into the psychological-maybe-not-really-i'm-just-trying-to-make-reference-to-my-u/n reason as to why i'm not for polyamorous relationships. i may not seem it, but i have INTENSE insecurities. i do. it's not within the confidence of myself, it's how i make myself to others and how they see me. i fear people getting bored of me, i fear people leaving me. that has to be one of my biggest fears. people leaving me. why? why am i like this? well, when i was younger, my father left. yes i have daddy issues but i am not into the ok. but he didn't really leave me. we're still in touch and i saw him 8 years ago. but, if i still keep in contact with him, then why do i have this fear? he never actually left me. well, friendos, it's because he lives in another country and never comes to see me. it's always me coming to him. and i know, he's an adult with a job and stuff and i'm just... well, i have breaks and stuff i can go see him during. but the fact that he never even considers coming and seeing me... makes me feel like i'm not even worth it. and that he's starting his life over, he's getting a girlfriend with kids... it makes me feel like me, my mom, weren't enough. that we were just a mistake. and that even worsens it.

soO how does this tie into polyamory you say? weell that's obviously because i feel like the two people i'm in love with will fall harder for each other than with me. i feel like when you're in a polyamorous relationship it has to be endgame or you're gonna be left crushed. i mean, imagine it: you fall in love with two people, turns out you had disagreements with them, and then they keep dating but just kick you out. it's such a depressing concept to me. i feel like... "was i not good enough for you?" and i just.. ugh. 

sooooo yeah. i know no one probably cares but i just... wanted to get it off my chest. i just realized this recently, you know. i hope to not try a polyamorous relationship in my future. maybe if its two people i just know that love me to bits... but it know it will hurt. this site really does hurt me because when i see someone i'm dating start flirting with another (as another chara ofc) i get these feelings. and it . especially with someone i fall really hard for. i guess everyone i'm dating right now i fell really hard for. and its stupid because i'm tying in ooc and yoURE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. that's like rule 1 in dating on this site "dONT MIX UP OOC AND IC" because you will get your heartbroken one way or another. 

ok so i should probably stop this is long. i nearly cried when i was talking about my dad lol. we're on good terms ok i have nothing against him other than those things but they aren't really against him because i know he has to work and being with my mom made him unhappy and he's trying to find another to make him happy but godammit. i need divorced parent children to come back me up. i should go to sleep now.. but i'm on break imma stay up

stay cool y'all. it won't be that hard i know it ok ♡

 

 

edit: i needed to cheer up after writing this so i stared at this gif for a few minutes doesntthelookhemakeslooklikeyunarip

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sparklygayassglitter 7 years ago
My dad left when I was 5. He moved across the world and well, he invited us 6 years later but things just aren't the same, you know? I pretty much grew up around aunts and monks. I remember that exact feeling you mentioned. For me, it's sorta worst when they refuse to divorce for my sake. It makes me feel horrible and useless because I too want their happiness--- be it with me and together as a family or not. Anyway, we don't talk lots but I do treasure you and love you to tiny dandruff bits. I'm a few poly relationships on rpr atm and I do admit that these thoughts written on your blog goes through my head every time I type a reply but so far, nothing major bad has happened so I'm willing to hold onto that. And remember, I'm always here if you need someone to rant/talk. I always spam your kkt with useless pics. I wish you'd the same- of course when you need to. Not with pics but.. You know what I mean. Eat your breakfast <3
sunshinesmile 7 years ago
My parents nearly got divorced when I was a lot younger and I still remember the feeling I got back then.... /whispers/ Hey--- I feel honored again. Loving you to bits over here
x____x 7 years ago
aw darling, i can't believe i just read this whole thing but i did and as a divorced parent children i just want to give you a big warm hug, ok. we don't even know each other that well but seriously if you need someone to talk to about it i'm all ears. and yes, agrees with pretty much every word you wrote honestly. ily.
angelcode 7 years ago
all my feelings and thoughts mushed into a singular blog post tbh
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