〈 ☆ 〉 chatroom

like
when did this happen

my baby is due soon ??

boop

lemme waltz right in bc why not

i meaan

@kim jongin Ⓜ I mean-- people could not bring me on a double date.... You are used to my weirdness. Of course you would still bring me out on a date pffffft.
But yes! That's the entire point of it!
Tree???! What tree???

@kim jongdae Ⓜ i'm usually not that hard on myself, but lately it just feels like i've been making so many mistakes that i've made many times before. as if i don't lean from them. it makes a little bit more sense... i think. i get what you mean, kinda. you know it also because society has pretty much taught us to not be confident in ourselves? i could make a book out of the things i don't like about myself, not including appearance, but i don't even think i can write one thing down about what i like about myself without overthinking it.
/closes my eyes and let's my lips exhale in a light sigh, more of relief rather than anything else, and my tense body relaxes against yours, my arms come around your waist, and hold you snug against me
i always bottle everything up. i hate it when i let things go but let's just say.. with you, jongdae, i wanna talk about myself. i want you to know how i feel. i want to rid myself of these thoughts, but i wish it was easier. i want to see myself like how i see you. which is probably why i adore you so much, you know? that probably didn't come out right but... i love you, so much. i wish my love for myself even compared to how much i loved you.
well, yeah. actually i don't think it's been nine months yet but my math is probably wrong. it's funny because the voice just isn't there when i'm thinking about you.

@kim jongdae Ⓜ you know what? i'd definitely bring you out on a date regardless of how embarrassing you are and awkward it would be. we should double date with someone and make them uncomfortable.
hey! it was the tree's fault! ok... it actually wasn't. but it's like those helicopters! they cost a lot but break easily.

@kim jongin Ⓜ Well, don't get me wrong, it does matter the most. Maybe I didn't phrase that right? It does matter, but what you think of yourself can be changed and it SHOULD be changed, with time. Because in the end it does matter just the same what the person you are with thinks of you. Maybe that makes a little bit more sense?
That's the beauty of it, hm? You love me more than you love yourself and for me it is just the same. I don't think highly of myself, I'm just as insecure as you are, but I just pack that up and swallow it until I'm bursting.
/with a barely audible exhale that is barely a sigh, I run my fingers over your cheek, cradling it in my palm while my other hand wiggles itself free and my fingers are finally able to card through your hair tenderly, soothingly/
It's alright. I will always be sorry that you have such thoughts, because I want to erase them. I want to make you see yourself maybe a little bit more like I see you. Not completely, because I know I'm wearing terribly big pink glasses that gloss a lot of things over, but.... yeah you get it.
Then that damn voice has to shut up because we've made it longer than nine months already and that's incredible. That's love right there, voice!

@kim jongin Ⓜ Yeah I know I am! I am totally the embarrassing friend people should NEVER bring on a date because I would make it extremely awkward!
You.... broke... the... hamster... ball.....Boy that thing was expensive!

@kim jongdae Ⓜ i don't think anyone thinks of me as a bimbo that's just a word that popped into my head ー it doesn't matter the most but it does matter. sometimes i really like myself but other times i just... it's hard to do that, sometimes. because i don't look at myself i just look at the person who loves and adores me. like you... i love you more than i love myself, quite frankly. i can't talk through it though, i ignore issues until i hope they go away, i-
/opening my mouth to say more, instead i close it again and make our exchange break, by tucking my chin against my chest with a small sigh, my sinuses starting to sting and my breath getting shallow, i press my face gently against your palm
don't be sorry about my thoughts. i shouldn't even had said that. it's not even what i believe it's just that little voice...
i am too. it actually felt way longer. no, unfortunately i can't think of any cheese right now.

@kim jongdae Ⓜ you are embarrassing but it's adorable so i'm not complaining ー we can be embarrassing together
i- well... i kinda broke it. but i'm glad you wanted to make me happy- oh nothing just the code.

@kim jongdae Ⓜ i'm not an idiot! i'm just slow and i don't double check ;;

@kim jongin Ⓜ That's right! I do! And I strike a really weird pose right now oh God I'm so embarrassing...
Hey you wanted one, I got you one. And I love you and I wanted to make you happy! Find what, nini?

@kim jongin Ⓜ Yes yes it was! Pffffft you're an idiot sometimes

@kim jongdae Ⓜ h Ah you know me too well. yeah i only call you those things when i want something... i'm surprised that you actually offered to get me one honestly
if i look back far enough ー i might be able to find it

@kim jongdae Ⓜ yEah i know ー apparently it was longer than i thought
i'm pretty funny yes i know

@kim jongin Ⓜ Bimbo? Oh Jongin... It doesn't matter the most what you think about yourself. Because... Knowing you... I just know that you will never see you the way I do. But that's important too. To see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves and adores you. A last resort? No. More like... I need someone I love to talk me through it. My first thought was... I need nini. I kinda noticed that already, babe.
/with a small sigh, my smile turns sad around the edges, eyes soft and almost vulnerable as my voice drops so low you can barely hear it, one of my hands cupping the side of your face/
I'm... I'm sorry you thought I would come to you only as a last resort... You silly boy.
It's- hah - I'm a little amazed by how long it already is. I'm-- wow ok I thought you would shoot something back just as cheesy...

@kim jongin Ⓜ And yes you called me sweetheart when you wanted the hamster ball.... You were whining and pointing out that I love you until I caved and got you the damn thing...
Mhhhh did you get your tweets?

@kim jongin Ⓜ I was laughing a little bit more than I thought I would... That sentence in the beginning

@kim jongdae Ⓜ also heeey guess who replied after two months
THIS GUY

@kim jongdae Ⓜ did i call you babe when i wanted that hamster ball?
a hamster ball is more of a "sweetheart" or "baby" thing depending on what the other likes ー just my thought.
i wanted to make tweets, of course!

@kim jongdae Ⓜ well yes, of course. someone could see me as the light of their life while another could see me as this fake ken doll. or as this stupid bimbo. it's all in the eye of the beholder but i think what matters is most is what i see in me ー which isn't much.
it could be ー but knowing me and how much i overthink my first thought was that "he's coming to me as a last resort" y eah my brain is just... very negative about myself.
/upon speaking my words, my smile falters a bit but i keep it up as best as i can ー until i'm met with quite the surprise of you hovering over me, my lips flat and my eyebrows raised.
yeah, nine months. that's enough time to have a baby. good thing that's biologically impossible for the both of us ー i love gross and cheesy, when it's coming from you. yeah, i'm quite aware of that. but i'll tell you what, jongdae, i don't want a way out of it.

@kim jongin Ⓜ Yes I know and that's why it's always special when you call me that. Unless! You only call me that to rope into getting you something... Like that giant hamster ball.
Why do you want to know that anyways Nini bear?

@kim jongdae Ⓜ pft ー i never call people that unless i find it fitting
so that's why because you're dae to me
not really babe... unless i want something
yeah no it's fine ー i can experiment around and if not ー i have connections

@kim jongin Ⓜ Sometimes other people have a different view of us. That's pretty normal..but i think I would never say you're perfect, even though I have to admit that even those flaws make you perfect for me.
Well... Sometimes that happens but no. It's never temporary. Me turning to you in a panic attack should be proof of that right?
Nine month...? Wait really?
/when you press your face against mine I start wriggling a little, until I'm able to roll over just enough so you're trapped halfway underneath my body, eyes wide as I stare down with you, a glowing smile on my lips/
So long already! You know what? I'm going to say something really gross and cheesy now. Your love for me already has you looked up. In my heart jongin. Because if you love me more than dogs, there is no way out of it

@kim jongin Ⓜ Uhm yes??
No you never really did.....
I'm sorry...? I can't edit this stuff for ... Maybe just try?

@kim jongdae Ⓜ i guess so? my perception on myself is very different from how you see me, then. i always think i just make it temporary. like you know when you go hang out with friends then you come back home and you feel lonely. i'm glad i can still do that. you know we've been together for 9 months now?
/my eyes droop open, and a wide smile comes onto my face, accompanied by a short chuckle, and i press my face against yours
well, planes aren't that horrible. the chances of anything bad happening are pretty tiny ー unless you count motion sickness. thats pretty common.
i do love dogs! if it is like crazy ー than my love for you should have me locked up.

@kim jongdae Ⓜ :>
you like that
i thought i called you something along that line b ut guess not
aw rip - that's fine ; u ;

@kim jongin Ⓜ Of course that's true! Because it is true to me. I would say you do a good job with me tho. Like... You never fail to make me smile or laugh and I'm always happy when you're around. You just make me feel comfortable in my own skin
/with a small smile I blink down at where your hand is resting, my fingers gliding into your hair to pull you a little closer, nose brushing against your cheek/
You don't make me this kind of uncomfortable. It's- I don't know it's very hard to explain I guess? A very different kind of uncomfortable. Of course it's surprising!! You. Love. Dogs. Like crazy!