✘ Swimming Pool

@♦ Kim Myungsoo Everything that just happened was weighing down on his shoulders, forming an uncharacteristic slump in his posture; something minuscule in scale, but blatantly obvious for anyone who was close to him because-… Kibum did not slouch, not ever. The 'normally poised supervisor' had just met his untimely defeat all thanks to one, raggedy janitor he refused to call his ‘brother’. The sight of his kin donning such a low-ranked outfit was pitiful enough to appall Kibum, but to make matters worse, Myungsoo was also visibly ashamed by it, and Kibum knew that –as Myungsoo picked up the pole again and diligently went back to work- it was partially his own fault for his brother's downfall. Whether Myungsoo knew it or not, things would have been different for the both of them if he had just stayed home.

Unable to bear the torture of watching Myungsoo work, Kibum quickly knelt down to check the filter one last time. He clicked the pen once, just once- to write on his clipboard, but it was enough to make him flinch, because the one little 'click' sounded like thunder in the stagnant pool room, and hell, he wanted to run-... run far away from that place and leave everything behind. But he didn’t. He couldn't. Kibum simply couldn't run anymore. That was why he stayed. Dutifully returning to his task, Kibum etched down the filter's brand-name and it’s measurements, planning to file a formal complaint to the company in hopes of getting a free one as a replacement… but that's when a drop of water fell onto the paper, blurring the ink. For a fleeting moment, he was confused, but that's when he realized... he was crying. “For s sake.” He seethed to himself.

Sure, an ice wall shielded his heart from external dangers… but it could not save him from the thorny tendrils that were already embedded in his heart, laying dormant deep inside him- in places he himself could not reach. His little brother just had to come along and prod at his injuries- wounds that were inflicted upon him and yet never fully healed. With a disgruntled curse, Kibum scribbled over the ruined words and quickly rewrote it, very messily, as he tried to finish up his job. Kibum had his reasons for avoiding his past, and those reasons ranged from guilt to fear- too many in fact, for his brother to know. Although he knew Myungsoo was no longer the innocent doughy eyed boy who trailed after him when they were kids, Kibum still did not want to soil or tarnish the beauty of his brothers picturesque perfection that he could remember. He wanted to keep Myungsoo safe. Clicking the pen once again, Kibum promptly stood up with a new resolve; remembering the whole reason he severed his bond with his brother in the first place- the dangers he tried to shield his brother from and the things he didn't want his brother to know- his shoulders once again regaining their confident poise.

Upon taking his exit, Kibum could not resist the urge drop his ‘professional act’ and quickly whirled around just in time to see Myungsoo’s crestfallen figure obediently cleaning the pool- before the door closed completely. The simple image set his heart at ease, because he knew… his brother was safe, and although sad, working a ty job, and probably suffering, his brother was also close by, in a place he could keep an eye on him. Taking a deep breath, Kibum spun around and traversed to Jaejoong’s office to deliver the notes he took from the pool, with one tiny yet genuine smile on his lips, secretly pleased to know of his brother's well being.

@♦ Kim Kibum The words that Myungsoo have wanted to hear from his brother were far off from what came out of the latter. He didn’t want to accept the fact that he was hearing such cruel words coming out of Kibum’s mouth, the only person he had looked up to throughout the years they spent together. They came tearing at his heart word by word, and Myungsoo didn’t know what was more hurtful and embarrassing, the fact that Kibum didn’t want to acknowledge who he was, or the fact that Myungsoo was dressed in a janitor’s uniform and standing in front of his older brother. It was a shame, really, that his life turned out to be like that at such a young age. And it didn’t take much longer for the emotions to come to him him, to make him want to scream at his brother for his idiotic decisions in life, from leaving home, to ignoring his calls and texts, to treating him like how he just treated him.

As much as he tried to hide his emotions, he felt like there was no way he would be able to prevent the tears from welling up in his eyes. He was a fool, really, for ever believing that his brother would want to get in touch with him again. He should’ve known that when Kibum moved out, that he would be forgetting everyone that was in his life. And if it was up to Myungsoo, he would be quitting this job immediately, but he couldn’t. He had barely managed to get it, especially because he couldn’t fit the requirement of a high school graduate. He had no idea how he convinced the employers to hire him, or perhaps they just pitied him, that’s something he’d never know. He didn’t seem as important to Kibum as he used to be, and the thought of what he had said may be right. Maybe pretending like he didn’t know him, or used to know him would be better for the both of them.

As Myungsoo turned around to grab the cleaning equipment that he had, he used his uniform to wipe his eyes from the tears in them. And although all he wanted was to be able, he knew that if he didn’t do his job, they wouldn’t mind letting him go. But as he was doing so, he heard a small ‘click’ noise, indicating that something has hit the floor. Unfortunately for Kibum, Myungsoo’s eyes were quicker than his movements, and he was able to spot something familiar on the floor that the male had picked up. It was the pen that he had given his brother during his birthday a few years back. It was something that Myungsoo had saved up his earnings for, and he didn’t want to make it seem like he put an effort into buying it for his brother, so he simply joked around and said that he stole it from a friend because he thought that the frog resembled Kibum. That they were both ugly and charming in their own way. He remembered Kibum hating it, yet he seemed to always carry it around with him, and he was doing the same, even until this day. Myungsoo didn’t know if he should feel somewhat happy that his brother still carries such a pen that he thought was ugly with him, or sad over what Kibum was saying. But it seemed like he was always hoping for something better, and he’d always end up getting disappointed. This situation wasn’t any different.

As Kibum went on at how important it is to clean the pool from any clear objects (especially condoms), Myungsoo was finally left alone to clean the area, and it took him all of his strength not to break down, instead gripping tightly at the pole that he was holding in his hands, that by the time he was done, he felt his arms turning sore in matter of seconds.

@♦ Kim Myungsoo Myungsoo’s sudden outburst didn't phase Kibum, in fact, he didn't react to it at all. There was a huge icy wall within his heart protecting him from everything; something only a long period of suffering concoct. It wasn’t easily broken. His jet-black eyes were cruel and dark. "I'm acting blind? Excuse me?" Clicking the pen aggressively in his fist, Kibum bit his lower lip, focusing only on the sounds of the pen and the quiet hum of the pool generator and not the voice of his father screaming, or the sound of tears as his mother died, or the whispers of his ex-boyfriend as he made hundreds of flaky promises. The demons of his past were tugging at his sleeves and trying to coax him into remembering everything- the incessant nightmares which still haunted him every night. He refused to acknowledge them. Was he running? Yes. Did he care? No. His pose grew more rigid with each word that left Myung's mouth; that familiar yet somehow more-mature voice. It pained him to see how much Myungsoo had grown without him. Taking a deep breath through a tiny crack in his lips, Kibum readied himself for what he was about to say next. "If I say I don't know you, then it means. I. Don't. Know. You."

The air grew heavy with tension as each word fell from his lips, one by one ripping his heart to pieces despite how prepared he thought he was for it. Kibum quickly angled his face away from the poor boy who was standing so patiently across from him- the raw cruelty of his own actions making him suffer too. It took a good long moment for him to be able to breathe again, his knuckles blanching from how tight his fist was; arm nearly trembling. Good, this was good. He was slowly regaining control of the situation. "Even..." He began, carefully weighing his words before speaking, his voice barely over a whisper- his confession meant only for the ears of the boy standing in front of him, because somehow Kibum felt like the situation was incredibly fragile and that speaking any louder would cause something to break, "... even if I DID know you. I don't know you anymore… The Kibum from several years ago is dead. It's best if you accept that."

Taking a shaky breath, Kibum forced himself to relax as he met his younger brother's eyes. "Don’t you understand? I don't want to remember you. Leave the past behind us. Please.” He grit his teeth, “Now are you going to do your job or not? I could have you fired, you know.” He sharply turned to face the filter once again, but this time the pen was slack in his hands, being weighed down by the heavy surge of emotions he was feeling, "It needs to be cleaned. Stop putting it off." That’s when the pen slipped from his fingers, causing him to flinch and whisper a small ‘’. Without another word he knelt down to pick it up-… the pen being something Myungsoo had gifted to him a long time ago on his 16th birthday as a joke- an ugly black pen with a frog on the end; something he treasured dearly even through everything that had happened.

@♦ Kim Kibum Myungsoo remained standing in his one spot for god knows how long, as Kibum continued to ignore him and talk to his friend about the pools and how they keep getting clogged. Myungsoo would rather let the pool clog in order to get a chance to speak to his brother than to stay quiet and watch him go about his job. However, when his brother faced him, Myungsoo watched closely as his expression began to change, and he didn't need to look at his brother again in order to know that he recognized him and who he was, but the way Kibum continued to treat him even after knowing who he was only made Myungsoo more confused, and slightly angry. Was his brother crazy, calling him a "pool boy" and trying to explain things to him like he was a stranger? He hasn't seen his older brother in years, yet that's the treatment that Kibum offers him, and it was getting on Myungsoo's nerves with each passing second.

It wasn't until Kibum asked for his name that Myungsoo began to lose it. "You know well enough who I am, Kibum. Stop acting blind." The other doesn't know how many years Myungsoo spent trying to look for him, and it wasn't even to pay any bills. In fact, he simply needed him there, especially when he made the decision to drop out of high school and take a full time job. He wanted someone to tell him not to do it, and to pull through, that there will be an end to all this, and he wanted it to come from his older brother. But Kibum never answered the calls, texts, or messages that he'd leave him. All Myungsoo wanted was to know if his brother was alive or not, and now that he was standing there before him only proved how careless Kibum was.

"Why didn't you pick up my calls? It's been four years, and the fact that I convinced myself you were dead somewhere only made it worse. I know you didn't like the life we were living, but did you have to go this far? You were the only person out there who I came back to for advice, but then you decided to disappear all of a sudden, without even caring about who you left behind." Myungsoo took a breath, hands forming into a fist, and all he wished for was to land a punch on Kibum's face, but no matter how much he wanted to do it, he couldn't. He knew he couldn't. It was his brother after all, and Myungsoo was blind to not see how unwanted he was by his own brother.

@♦ Kim Myungsoo Cold eyes fixated on the glassy tiles beneath his feet, Kibum listened to his companion drone on about their day and how 'managing the pool was awful', evoking sympathetic murmurs from him from time to time. It was true that plucking condoms from pool filters wasn’t exactly anyone's ideal way to spend the evening, but neither was scraping plastered men off the bar floor, or prying gamblers from the slot machines, because each scenario usually ending with you getting a fist in the face. Out of the corner of his eyes, the supervisor could vaguely make out the silhouette of a janitor cleaning the pool, causing him to frown because... if they had a janitor, why were the filters getting clogged in the first place? He came under the assumption that the janitor was new, and therefore he couldn't be too mad about the unfortunate events. He and his friend strolled along the edge of the pool, inspecting it for flaws or areas of improvement; a blank clipboard clasped firmly in Kibum's hands as he wrote down various notes, such as 'get a new filter'.

The air was saturated with the half-baked attempt of incense which was meant to drown out the smell of chlorine, but it ended up just smelling awful. Why couldn't the pool simply smell like a pool? The clubs excessive need for 'perfection' sometimes drove him crazy- another thing he made note of on his checklist, hoping to bring it up during their next meeting. Maybe a scent less powerful and fresh would be more suited to the room rather than heavy citrus. For a moment there, he completely ignored the janitor which manifested in front of him because firstly he was already speaking to someone else, and found the tiny interruption to be quite rude, and secondly because he was trying not to think of what the boy just called him. "Okay, great. This is the faulty filter, right?" He stepped closer to the pool's edge and admired the filter which was gurgling loudly, clearly suffering from mistreatment which made his brows furrow in annoyance as he spoke to his friend. “I get that you're tired of doing this, but we need to continuously unclog the filter." He tapped his clipboard with his pen once to prove his point, "We need to keep this clean, do I make myself clear? In the mean time, you're dismissed. I'll get the janitor to do it.”

With a heavy sigh, Kibum finally faced the janitor whom bore a striking resemblance to someone whom he didn't want to remember- his heart hammering wildly as he clutched the clipboard to his side, “Hey, pool boy. You know how to clean a filter right?” He pressed with a steely tone, casually glossing over the fact that the boy called him ‘hyung’ because there was no way he heard that right. Kibum was nobody’s brother. Adjusting the cap upon his head to distract himself form the way images of his past were flashing before his eyes, he forced out a breathy sigh, "The filters are easily clogged. It is easy to overlook when cleaning the pool because we tend to only see the specks of dirt in the water, but it is much harder to see clear objects like rubber bands, plastic, and the occasional . That's what usually clogs the filter, and therefore breaks it.” Opting for the safe ‘strictly professional’ route, Kibum made no move to befriend the boy in front of him like he normally would with new staff, “And tell me your name, kid.”

@♦ Kim Kibum Kim Myungsoo, a 22 years old male who was a high school drop out could finally heave a sigh of relief upon finally finding a full time job that he could earn some money from. It wasn’t that great of a job. He was basically a janitor who had to clean everyone’s mess and make sure that everything was spotless at all times, but he didn’t seem to mind it, since it was a job that paid the bills, and he earned enough to support both himself and have some money sent to his alcoholic father. After all, he was the only person left that his father relied on, so cutting off ties with the man wasn’t something that Myungsoo has thought of before, no matter how hard it was going to get. Before his mother passed away, she told him not to hate his father no matter what he did, and even though he wanted to, it was hard. He simply didn’t want to break such s promise that he made to his mother. She was an important person in his life, even to this day.

It was Myungsoo’s third day at work when he was assigned to clean the pool and the area around it in order for it to be used in the future. He didn’t have much of an idea on how to clean it, but he has seen the other janitors do it a couple of days ago, so he decided to give it a shot and try. He went into the equipment room and grabbed the telescopic pole, which already had a net attached to it. He figured it would be easier to use the net first to scoop out all of the dirt before actually cleaning everything else. And to be honest, Myungsoo was more than glad that there was someone there watching him, since he didn’t even know if he was doing the right thing or using the correct procedure of continuing to clean the pool out, but he had a pretty good idea of what it shall look like when it’s finished. He continued to move the pole around, scooping whatever there was at the bottom of the pool, deep in thought before he could hear a sound of footsteps coming from nearby, along with a voice that seemed to be chatting with another. He didn’t know how to act, really, so he thought that staying there and continuing with the task that he was assigned was the best thing, so he did. He tried his best to clean the pool he was at before moving to the other one, yet the voice he kept hearing began to sound all too familiar with him. And he tried his hardest not to look at who it was, not wanting to seem rude, but curiosity was eating at him.

Looking up from his task, he looked around the pool, trying to figure out who that voice belonged to. And as his eyes landed on two figures walking by, he couldn’t help but stare at one of them. The slender figure that walked before his eyes made him feel all sorts of emotions at once. It was his older brother, or perhaps a stranger at that point. He has not seen him in almost four years, ever since he left home and ignored all of his calls and messages. But he couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t angry at him for not answering any of his calls for the past years. He wanted to hear the reasons instead of jumping to the conclusions. He bit at his lower lip, trying to decide if he should say something, only to figure that if he didn’t say anything now, he’d have no right of saying anything at all in the future. And so without giving it much though, he placed the pole that he was holding in his hand down and made his way over to the figures walking by. It was just his brother that he needed to talk to, but his mind was already racing with thoughts that when he came to a stop in front of the older male, all he could say was “hyung.”