@✪ω。Jeon Jungkook Oh. Sorry. The lighthouse. Trying to figure out where all your stuff would go...it's so small. How would stuff fit in there? /he tilts his head staring at the other then the lighthouse. he just couldn't understand it at all. something about it sticking with him*
@✪ω。Jeon Jungkook I was trying to find a place where there wasn't people. /he figured his shyness had to be very obvious at this point. he's couldn't understand how someone could be in the lighthouse so he stared at it trying to figure out just where all of this person's stuff would go if they lived there. it didn't look big enough to hold everything a person should have. he decided it would be best not to ask that./
@✪ω。Jeon Jungkook H-hi....sorry for being like this..I don't mean to be so shy. /he bites his lip trying to force himself to relax. the scent of the other hit him. his bottom lip trembled slightly before his body calmed down. he went from looking completely affected by the other's scent to not aware of his scent./
@✪ω。Jeon Jungkook /he wasn't sure how to react. he wanted to greet this other person but he didn't want to get pounced on by a guy he just met. he stood there letting his gaze fall to his feet away from this person. he hoped that this could help the other feel more comfortable even though he figured that it was only him that felt uncomfortable at the moment/
@✪ω。Jeon Jungkook /blinks seeing someone. He's afraid to get closer. Since he hadn't decided if he wanted the beta pills then he knew he wouldn't be as affected by people's scents. He just hoped the same went for other people. It was his first time being around people during this season. Normally he's out looking for food or just out enjoying his freedom to roam*
@♔Min Yoongi *doesn't think about it much, as carrying a human on my back isn't so hard anyway* *plus, even if I'm a Beta, I am still very well-exercised and can handle it with ease, so there's no need to put you in unnecessary risk* *nods and looks in the direction of the forest we have to pass before the city is even to be seen*
Can I appear in the city like this? *hums, knowing if I turn to my human form, it'd still scandalise the humans, dumb enough to cover themselves with all that *
*walks calmly at first, before speeding up a bit*
@♔ Kim Jaejoong *stands up as well, admittedly still worried about you, but knowing this kind of things don’t just heal with a hug, he’d have to do his best to help you find a new purpose, to help you heal, but he’s willing to put in the hard work*
*surpised by your words as you shift into wolf, he bites hard on his lower lip thinking whether he really should accept your offer, he is already in pain for the trek, but that doesn’t mean he should take advantage of you. Even so, he couldn’t afford another breakdown and needing painkillers now, now he needed all his wits about him*
Alright. *says, running his hand through the fur of your head and then climbing on your back, arms wrapped tight around you* get to the edge of the city, I’ll give your more detailed directions once there...
@♔Min Yoongi *looks at my hands, at their palms, emptily thinking about just anything that'd come across my mind, too tired to pay any particular attention to anything at all* *my emotions are so hurt I feel numb at that point*
*nods and gets up, body stiff from the cold and the wind blowing from the sea doesn't help* *turns into my wolf form, as always never worrying about my clothes, simply because I rarely ever have any on* Get on my back... and tell me where I should go... *says, knowing you've ran for too long to get here and find me and assuming your leg must be killing you in these moments* *already feels guilty for wasting your time and energy, so I wouldn't like to cause more pain as well*
@♔ Kim Jaejoong Jesus Jae, you're nothing like your father... you haven't hurt anyone... especially not in our pack... and surely no omegas... *shakes his head, he doesn't give a damn about what Jimin thinks, but he doesn't want to make you even more upset* Think about yourself. I'll take care of Jimin.
*eagerly accepts your hug, wrapping you even tighter in his own arms, rubbing your back, wishing there was a way to take this pain away, but also allowing for silence to stretch as you think about your options, as you weight your decisions*
*a shiver runs up his spine as you say you accept him as an alpha, again a rather unexpected development in the relationship he has with you, and for some reason his instincts roar, he wants it, for 's sake, and it's... disconcerting*
I accept your decision, Jae. And I will take care of you, no matter what. *answers, maybe a bit more solemnly than necessary, but he can't stand the cold and disappointed look on your face* Let's go... I'll get you to Taemin...
@♔Min Yoongi *sighs* I just don't want to be anything like my father... he broke too many Omegas' lifes... and I guess it runs in the family *huffs and leans into your hug, unable to believe just how weak I've allowed myself to be in your presence* *but your warmth calms me down and feels like real support* Do you think Jimin will allow it? *huffs and sniffles* He's just as irresponsible, but he's also as agressive... *says and sighs, reaching to do something close to a hug as well, holding onto you* *tries to breath in deeply and calm down, but my trembling won't stop, however my breathing does calm down a bit*
*remains quiet for a long time, maybe a few minutes, not adding anything, thinking and trying not to take the wrong decision* *as always, in the state of panic, it's even harder to think - an activity I am already failing at*
*sighs in the end and nods* *the tears have stopped and I've calmed down a bit, more like pushed my feelings to the back* *my face looks just dead and emotionless, my eyes cold,full of disappointment* Okay. I accept you as my Alpha for now, so I will do as you say. But if things don't go well, I will be leaving and I won't take a 'no'. *says, guessing what you suggest would be better for him* *you are better at the thinking part, after all*
@♔ Kim Jaejoong I know... I know you tried very hard... but you tried alone... *insists, catching your eye* Now you got me.
*his frown deepening at your words, he starts becoming aware of another part of you that he had no idea existed, and it makes him even more worried* I thought it was your choice... *admits* I didn't think you gave up those things for the pack... * your hair* that's not right, Jae, you can be allowed to your life... and I'll make sure you will always have a choice, a pack cannot survive on strength alone, stifled people cannot progress or develop, you have to find your calling and follow that, that is what makes a pack great...
*can hardly believe you're saying those things, to him of all people, is it true? Do people trust him? Would they follow him?*
Jae... I don't want to be in this pack without you... but I did give my loyalty to Jiyong... so I beg you... give me a chance... in 7yong... *cradles your elbows, and pulling you in for a hug* at least think about it for a moment longer... I can have you stay at a friends of mine, if you want a break from our territory, and you can make that decision when you aren't upset...
*bites on his lip* and I also will think about what you said...
@♔Min Yoongi *shrugs* It's because you don't know this pack so well yet. It runs in the family... to ruin the pack *chuckles bitterly and tears keep falling* *wants to believe you, but, unlike you, I've been dealing with Dongwook's and Jiyong's bull for year, my father's and their ancestor's too*
I feel like... I've done everything I could to change it... I've worked so hard, I've trained along with the Alphas. You know, it's more natural for the Betas to learn how to take care of households, not to learn how to fight. *says and sniffles a bit* I've screwed my whole life, thinking of making a family I can cherish and protect. I really want pups, my own children, but I've denied myself of it for too long. I think I have the right to want my own happiness, right? *although I am aware in the wolf world you put the pack before yourself, it's gotten too much for me to handle*
However... I am a complete loser... Sure, I can get the hard work done, but I can't ever lead a pack. I don't really... understand war... I don't understand the way Dongwook and Jiyong think... *says and gulps* I'd never manage to make a pack on my own. That's why I am asking you to lead. You /obviously/ can lead. People /trust you/. Hell, I trust you more than the one I've served to for years... *says and gulps* A limp is one thing... I was stupid enough to believe it'd make a wolf useless... but it's simply what I've been taught in this pack. That unless you're able to tear your enemies' throats in seconds, you simply aren't worth much. *says and bites on my lip, sobbing again* You're so much more than this. You actually value the pack. You will risk your life and fight despite your disability, when you have to. People would follow you, and not me. /I/ would follow you... *says, still refusing to give up on my decision*
@♔ Kim Jaejoong * you hair, shaking his head*
We have to change the community from within...
*looks down at you, his hand coming up to try to wipe your tears, your words shock him for a moment, but somehow he takes them surprisingly well, ironic considering he knows the kind of opinion you had of him at first*
No one would respect a limpy bastard like me as a leader, Jae, an alpha who can't protect his pack... *protests, eyes closing for a moment, overwhelmed by the memories of his youthful ambitions* And I want to try and make 7yong better before I give up, Jae... that's... who I am...
@♔Min Yoongi The pack can't survive anyway, Yoongi. I can't survive in this pack anymore. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, I will never be able to feel part of a community where everyone does everything on a whim...
*says and holds my face in my hand, drying the tears* I've always wanted a family, Yoongi... it's all I've ever wanted...
I want to leave 7yong and find a family. For once, I want to be happy too instead of making others happy...
*says and sighs shakily as my tears won't stop streaming down*
*looks up at you and sighs* Why don't you come with me? You can make a pack. You are the only true leader among us all. You could create a pack and I'd gladly join. There are a lot of rogues waiting to be given a home. We can actually create something which feels like family... as opposed to... that... *means 7yong*
@♔ Kim Jaejoong *it's so hard to see you break apart even more, he doesn't even know what to do, other than be there, rub your back, and try to comfort you as best as he can*
I.... I agree with that... *admits, biting on his lower lip, because he can't even lie about how ed they were*
*feels his heart beat faster at your words, sudden panic filling his chest*
Don't- Don't say that Jae... the pack can't survive without you... you know it can't... *still tries to meet your eyes* Jae... there's always something people can do to make things better... and I will help you...
@♔Min Yoongi *immediately leans into the hug, pressing my forehead to your chest* *for once I think I have the right to be weak, since it doesn't even matter how much I've been doing for the pack, how I've thrown my own love live away so I can compansate for Jiyong who's only busy with it*
the pack... *says in a broken voice, obviously crying* the pack, Yoongi, I can't stand it anymore... *finds it immensly hard to admit what I've been thinking about all this time*
Nothing will change, you know? As Jimin takes on the pack, it might get even worse. He hasn't got the needed respect to be the leader. Jiyong will leave and live his life, like it and forget about it...
How do I serve Jimin? I can't... I could easily serve Jiyong all these years because his leadership was wonderful during the war. But now I'm done...
*mumbles darkly, reaching hands to wipe off my tears and look up at you*
I think... *looks away, unable to say it while looking at your eyes* I have no place in this pack anymore.
@♔ Kim Jaejoong *listens to your words, trying not to look as surprised as he feels, he knew that alphas were the norm, hell, he wasn't much different himself, but his old pack had never run like that, there was always accountability and a modicum of respect, the leader would never impregnate someone who wasn't his mate, if not for the simple fact that he was everyone's superior and had to set an example. And unfortunately he knew exactly that that was the way a pack could survive through peace... but what about war?*
I... I guess you're right...
*if there was one thing he had learned about Jiyong was that the world revolved around him, and in that moment he felt a little thing inside him break, the last of the realisation of what he had been, one wish, one whim*
Jae... *mumbles, as he watches you transform back, he hooks his hand at the back of your head and pulls you in for a hug*
We'll be fine, Jae *he finally says it* the pack will be fine.
@♔Min Yoongi *shrugs* I've known Dongwook before I knew Jiyong. We were separated, we're only half-brothers in fact. My dad's mistake, one of the many. Dongwook took Jiyong in the pack when we were already grown-ups, so I've only known him since then. *says and sighsn turning to look at you* Responsible... I wonder if this is even considered a value in this pack...
*mumbles and growls lowly*
I told you I was born into this pack. And I can tell you one thing - it's been like that, always. Just Alphas going arround making a mess. That's what Dongwook was like. That's what my father was like, also the reason why Jiyong was born into another pack. It's also what Jiyong is like. Just... *huffs and growls again* Always chasing after some Alpha... He is right, he is suited to be the leader during war time. Simply because he is ruthless and loves to kill and destroy. But he's just another lewd wolf with my father's genes in himself, after all. I guess he won't ever... put the pack before his own wishes and desires... *mumbles and slowly shifts to my human form, face covered in tears, teeth gritted*
@♔ Kim Jaejoong *blinks at the way you bare your teeth, not scared for a second but indeed glad that you seem to finally talk honestly*
Has he ever been responsible? *asks, also cutting to the chase*
Is it just a recent occurrence? Is it really Dongwook's fault? *insists, because he is also trying to find some kind of valid reason to the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach* he's been hardly reliable since I arrived and I want to know if it's just now.... or if it's always been like this...
@♔Min Yoongi *winces quitely, shortly, a sign of emotional pain*
*looks into the empty space and sighs*
*remains quiet for a long minute, not able to contain the emotions anymore*
*nature and especially the ocean would always help me calm down, but now you were here, bringing the emotions back*
*tilts head and bares my woft teeth* Of course he isn't right... he was supposed to be responsible... *growls, anger and pain*
@♔ Kim Jaejoong *hand stills for a moment as he looks back at you*
You say he's right...
But I don't think you actually think that, do you?
Otherwise, you wouldn't be upset...
*and he waits, he doesn't want to tell you to talk to him, but he's ready to listen if you are willing to share*
@♔Min Yoongi *loves the feeling of your hand in my fur now, when I am broken and weak, but wonders if you'd still do it if I shifted to my human form*
I guess he's right about what he said... I... He... Needs rest, I get it *says and gulps*
@♔ Kim Jaejoong *cards his fingers through your fur, massaging the scalp as delicately as he can, he's trying to tell you that everything is going to be alright, but he's unable to say it out loud*
*looks down at you when you speak, his heart clenching in his chest, because he wonders whether any of this is his fault*
I don't know... *admits*
I only know this Jiyong... he's been strange since I got here...
*sighs* and I really don't understand him... I don't understand him one bit...
@♔Min Yoongi *is curled in my wolf form, in order to keep my own body warm* *is quietly weeping, not wishing to attract any attention*
*hears steps and looks at the direction of the sound* *sees you and quietly lays my head down again* *its a sign that I dont mind your company* *although I am not sure if I want to upset you* *feels your warm hand on my head and closes my eyes slowly, before opening them to look at you*
What happened to Jiyong
@♔ Kim Jaejoong *sticks his nose in the air, and he's sure he can smell you, but he can't see you yet*
*holds his hip and grumbles as he stuggles to walk in the sand, wondering why he was bothering to do this considering he's probably the last person you want to see right now*
*but then he sees you, and he feels instantly bad*
*he sits beside you, silent, because he doesn't know what to say, and places a hand on your head, in what he hopes is a comforting gesture*
*pulls my shirt over my head*
*undoes my pants revealing swim trunks*
*I kick off my shoes running into the water*
*i swim for a bit before coming back to lay on the sand*
@☠Lee Jihoon *is surprised at your reaction, you're not cute? That's ridiculous*
Sweet, cute, it's similar, no? *protests*
*the corner of his lips tilting down*
Painkillers make me weak... like... my hormones go crazy... I take them on a bad day... but I try not to on a regular basis... Dae used to help me out with a massage, but I haven't asked recently... hot springs help a lot...
*grins triumphantly when you admit he is, even though he has to pout a bit when you flick his forehead*
Don't hit me. Not my fault I'm cute and cuddly when I try.
@♔Min Yoongi Shut up, I’m not cute at all.
/huffs with a slightly squinted eye, nudging back at you.
nothing can help you ease the pain? maybe some massage or pain killers?
/he murmurs softly, the thought of having to live through life with constant pain settling heavy in his chest.
/his thoughts are interrupted by the display of puppy eyes, snorting softly and gives you a slight flick on the forehead.
okay maybe you do
@☠Lee Jihoon *nods* as expected, you're a cutie. *says with a little smirk* I was injured. A long time ago. And it does hurt. A lot actually. Just. Not always I guess.
*thinks about it for a moment*
It doesn't matter what you are at the end of the line, it's just a label... you choose what it means.
*looks at you amused when you say he doesn't look like an omega*
You sure?
*and he leans closer, sporting his best puppy eyes*