☼ :ㅤevent two

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ “No, that is what I know based on your words now and actions before. I wouldn’t want to make the same mistake twice of assuming things just like I did when I figured about you and your friends’ bet though that turned out to be a fact after awhile; but, nevermind, I guess— it’s just time we move forward,” he answered her in all honestly before releasing a huge breath and holding the ends of the paddles. “Let’s go back?” he asked just as formality because he did not even wait for her to answer as he started rowing. The sunset they were watching having just ended a few seconds ago.

@☼ : akay xiu。 "Is that what you still think of?" because i wanted it to happen? because I feel like it? Her heart clutched tightly inside her chest, but it couldn't feel anymore pain besides the numbness. What if she told him she wanted it a peaceful break off but it just turned out ugly? Well he wouldn't believe it, just like his skeptical attitude to what she said. Maybe not everything in life can be resolved like she wished for. "Maybe.." her voice turned out soft, eyes drifting from the surface of the lake to the horizon.

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ “Is that the best reason you could think of? You think we just happened, that just happened— everything just happened because you feel like it?” he asked, still in a calm voice despite the vexation crawling back into his body. “That was…” selfish of you, he wanted to say but he withdrew his voice instead let out a heavy sigh. “Anyway, whatever. What’s done is done, I guess. Let’s just— think of the past as a memory, a reminder that we should do better next time around,” he uttered in an almost whispery tone.

@☼ : akay xiu。 Her eyes turned away from him as she thought about it. It never occurred in her mind, but she couldn't explain it either. Things just turned out the way it did and she wouldn't have expected that even it replayed again for them. "I didn't make it that way. It just...happened." She shrugged and noticed his hand on the ledge, veins already appeared on his arm but at this moment she had no idea how to make things better.

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ Akay knew he had hurt her again because of his words but he knew he had to be more honest this time. If he kept on shielding her from his ruthless thoughts, they would never achieve a proper closure. “Then why? Why did you make it seem like that?” His hand kept its grip on the ledge tight, in fact, even tighter as if it served as the lid to his emotions.

@☼ : akay xiu。 Her eyes fixed on him, staring in shock. She never thought he was thinking this way, and that just proved how deep their misunderstanding had went. If to her it was always because of work and the bet, to him it was how she had managed the whole incident. Of course she wanted to explain furthermore that he wasn't easy and disposable to her, but would he even believe her? His last question pricked hard inside her, his questionable attitude towards her love was indeed, hurting her. "I did. And I guess... that was the only reason to explain how I felt throughout the day." She showed a smile before turning to the sun. "I've never had a day in peace after breaking up with you, but I didn't know what caused it. I had work all to myself and went out with my friends, but something in here..." gently pointing to her heart, "...felt empty. It wasn't something I used to feel in the past, and so I couldn't find a cure to it. But seeing you again ... I think I know why."

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ A scoff escaped his lips at the way she said things— her problems were so simple yet she chose the easy way out. He was more than willing to work things out and had she been honest right from the get go then they would have been spared from all the pain; but, what’s done was done, things have been said and acts have been done, there was no way back. “But you could’ve had it all yet you wouldn’t,” he said after her long speech, his head shaking sideways at the regret he felt for them. “Honestly, I didn’t hate you because you played me like a fool rather it was because you made things look so easy, as if I was just a ‘disposable.’ I hated the fact that you wanted to breakup instead of fixing things.., -and fighting for us. Did you really love me back then?”

@☼ : akay xiu。 She took the handkerchief from him, but instead of wiping off those tears, she held it in her hand and stared at it. She wasn't this sentimental but somehow, she couldn't stop it coming to her. Facing his question, she turned to him and let out a sigh. "Partly because of work, partly because..I knew the bet was going to blow off any soon. Seeing how you put in effort to our relationship and changed into a better man, I- I didn't want to hog a man who could deserve so much better, a lady who can focus on you, who can be your better partner. But I still couldn't forget those times..I hate to admit how greedy I was. I wanted work, I wanted love, and you- but we couldn't have it all."

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ Akay did not have to glance at her to know that she was tearing up, her voice gave it all away after all. If this had been old times, he would have turned towards her and wiped those tears away but he simply fished out a handkerchief from his pocket and offered the cloth to her without looking. Maybe it was because he did not have the heart to continue with their supposed ‘closure’ if he did. “You know, I never understood why you kept apologizing when you missed our dates. It’s not like you did a huge mistake or crime. You were simply passionate about your work and I lov— admired that about you. And so when you suddenly broke up with me because of work, I didn’t get it at all,” he paused for a second to recompose himself before continuing, “Was I wrong? Was I too much, too less, too… nothing? Those thoughts flooded my mind that time and I—“ He cut off his words before his voice cracked as he tigthened his fists to again calm his mood.

@☼ : akay xiu。 As they walked to the booth for boat rental, her eyes kept on glancing at him, somehow the sight of his back figure brought her memories, both happy and sad ones. And if her memory didn't fail her, this was exactly their second time rowing on a boat, the first time being.... the start of everything. Everything between them. No one was on the lake besides them, the serenity only reminded her of the sorrow under the sunset. Listening to his words, tears finally rolled down her cheeks as she stared into the golden sunlight. "It is..." before chuckling bitterly and looking down to wipe her tears. "Gosh, why am I like this-" she wiped off with the back of her hand, her heart at this moment was nothing but emptiness.

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ He merely nodded again at her answer before walking off to the boat rental, his feet instinctively slowing down to maintain a pace alongside her. If he dared recall, this would be the second time they’ll be riding a boat; the first one being a sentimental memory of the beginning of their relationship— it was there he asked her to be his. And like what he had felt just a moment ago, this seems to be a reminiscence with the difference that this is the ending. When they were all set on the boat, he started rowing them amidst the lake and stopping just at the perfect spot to view the sunset. “It’s ironic how we rode a boat to watch the sunrise and started things before and how we ended up here. Don’t you think so?” he asked as he held the boat’s ledge and leaned back slightly.

@☼ : akay xiu。 Watching him agree to her and suggesting their following activities eased her heart a bit. Maybe after today, they would end up in good terms and just as an ex-couple, it would not leave any regrets for her. Even though...they were still not together. Their relationship was flawed and she could never have the right to ask for a possible reconcile, but if she could still do something for them, it's to let him not hate her as much. For her, she couldn't let him go completely, but she would always give him her blessings in whatever he did. "A boat ride sounds cute. I think I saw some booth over there renting boats over the lake side." She pointed at the direction where a booth was set not far from here, just beside the huge lake. She watched as the sun started to set, the dusk view was breathtaking at the horizons of the lake.

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ “No problem,” he replied at her gratitude as he threw out the disposable items they used before coming back to her side and nodding slowly. He wasn’t too sure why the woman was saying that they probably won’t meet again after this yet there she was inviting him to spend the rest of the event alongside. It was like she was torturing the foolish love he still has for her, but he dared not complain for the sole reason that this will be the last time— the very last moment they’d probably share. And so, instead of shielding his feelings and walking away, he nodded decidedly in agreement. “Hm, how about a bike ride or a boat ride?” he asked after looking at the expanse of the garden.

@☼ : akay xiu。 Watching him stomping his cigarette with his foot brought a smile to her face. If only old times could replay and she wasn't the workaholic and desperate lady, they could have ended well. As he helped out, she shook her head at his question and let out a quiet breath. "I couldn't have finished all of these at home too. But thank you for the treat." She placed the packed food inside the paper bag. "Uh, what are we supposed to do next?" She put on a small smile and looked at him. "I guess we can still do something before the event ends..." Her eyes shifted down as she tried to hide any emotions.

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ Akay almost had a smile on his lips upon her warning, had it not just been for what they had talked about earlier. It was just alike the past— him relishing in his habits and her warning him away, the only difference was she does not have the right to do so; yet, despite that, he dropped his cigarette and stomped them underneath his shoe. Turning around, he was unsurprised to find the amount of food left considering she seemed to have lost her appetite. “You sure? Why not take these home?” he asked as he helped her cover the takeouts, remembering she doesn’t have the time to eat let alone cook for herself due to work.

@☼ : akay xiu。 She blinked at him in disbelief when he suddenly turned around. "You just ate so little-" she pouted and sighed, before moving on to keep eating. He seemed upset about something, but she couldn't describe how the feeling could have come from. Was it because of her words? She looked at his back figure and frowned when he took out his cigarette. "Keep smoking and your lungs will be good coal for barbeque." She sighed after speaking. "Mr. Charcoal." By that mention, more memories floated upon her mind and suddenly, her appetite for the food faded somehow. "I'm full." She stood up and started packing the food, somehow her mood wasn't as light as before.

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ Akay paused his meal as he waited for her to continue her words. There was just something about her tone that spoke of finality, like goodbye, and believe him or not, he did not like it even by a bit. Sure, he was ready to leave her back there and perhaps, start anew; but, hearing her actually say what future awaits for them pricked his heart. His hand forced itself to move his chopsticks at the side of his bowl before he turned around his seat and leaned on the table. “I’m full,” he spoke, not bothering to add anything with her ‘goodbye’ wishes. Fishing out a cigarette from his pocket, he carelessly hung them between his lips before lighting them up and inhaling quickly. “Tell me when you’re done, I’ll help you clean the table,” he uttered without glancing back.

@☼ : akay xiu。 "Oh, I see." Listening to his reply, she thought to herself while eyes gazing down at the food. Was it really what he said? She blinked and pursed her lips as her chopsticks stopped moving because of the action; maybe he also wanted to meet someone new too, of course...she would be just a past tense to him. Releasing a quiet breath, she remained silent and took a piece of the fried tempura, eating it while eyes staring down. "...I really hope you can be well." A sentence just came out as she remained her posture. Thinking about his changes in their previous relationship, she genuinely thought he could change for the better. He wasn't the baddest guy after all. Deep inside, he was still a nice guy and after her wrong deeds, the last thing she could hope for was probably his well being. "And we won't be seeing each other in the future, maybe."

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ Despite the intimacy of his feelings he had left of her and their memories they’ve shared before, he felt uncomfortable underneath her ocassional glances, but he dared not speak his discomfort for the sole reason he didn’t want to ruin his appetite. Akay lightly pushed the bowl of tempura over her side before continuing with his food though his hand hung above air for a momentary second upon the sudden and unwelcomed question. Seems like her suspicious glances were a far better topic than her inquiry but there was nothing he could to appease his mood and so he merely indulged her. “I’ve been staying at the resort for a while now and have been invited. Seems like a good event so I joined,” he shrugged after telling the half-lie or rather hiding the half-truth. Basically, he went here for the same reason she had: to rid the uneasy feeling he had since their breakup; and, perhaps, to meet someone brand new as well.

@☼ : akay xiu。 As she chewed on the crispy sweet and sour pork, she instantly felt light and happy, just like anytime she was eating. But this time instead of focusing completely on the food, her eyes stole glances of him from time to time to check on him; not specifically to check on how he eats or is the food good, she just wanted to...look at him. "It's delicious." She hummed and took the bowl of noodles, stirring it thoroughly before taking a mouthful on her chopsticks and sending into her cavern. As they eat, she peeked at him and blinked before asking him a question. "So, why are you here?"

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ At each placing of a new dish on the table, his eyes grew agape— who would’ve thought that all those fitted in a medium paper bag; but by the time she was done, he composed his visage and accepted the chopsticks. There was an apparent spark during that small exchange though he figured it was only his imagination that felt the sensation quickly. “Is it good?” he asked after munching down a piece of dumpling. Akay knew that she’d be able to down these all given the chance, so he purposely slowed down his eating to give way for her cravings. Besides he wasn’t too hungry since he was suffering from a hangover until early afternoon.

@☼ : akay xiu。 Her eyes finally settled on the food in between them when he sat down across her. Focusing on unwrapping the package and taking out the food within, the dishes and its fragrance already hooked up her appetite. "Smells delicious." A smile cracked on her face as she spread out the dishes and opened up the lids, watching the dishes in front of them. Sweet and sour pork, black bean noodles, fried vegetable tempura, fried dumplings, and the sauces and chilli that came along it. Already feeling the hunger in her stomach, she gave a pair of chopsticks to him and muttered quietly. "Let's eat." Watching him slowly digging in, scenarios of them eating together played in her mind. They used to eat in restaurants, street food, roadside stalls, and even takeaway food in the house; probably only in those moments, she felt the most ease when all burden from work can be taken away from her even when she was a workaholic. Her chopsticks picked up a piece of pork and dipping it into the sweet and sour sauce before sending it into .

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ Akay had always been a bad guy— not because he drink and smoke nor engage in one night stands, rather because of his hideous temperament and violent tendencies. He was a man who spoke with a sharp tongue and closed fists and there had never been a time he exited a bar with no bruised knuckles; but, after he had met her, while they were together, he slowly but surely became a man with composure and patience. It was then he knew that this woman was different from the rest but that all vanished into naught when they broke up, or at least that was what he thought, because it turns out, he really did become better, more mature. Honestly, he was mildly surprised he uttered those spiteful words earlier towards her but he figured it was time he too unleash his repressed thoughts so he just brushed the guilt off (though he knew it’d come back later). His vices might have taken a worse turn but at least his attitude were in new heights. Silently, he followed her steps and soon found himself sitting in front of her, a wooden picnic table fit for two pairs in between them. “Those are Chinese takeouts. I only asked for their best dish so I’m not quite sure what it is specifically,” he said as he folded his arms atop the table and waited for her to prepare her food.

@☼ : akay xiu。 Once he halted his steps, her heart never stopped racing in crazy beats as she waited for his response. If it was the usual her, she could have watched him leave and did nothing, but for some reason, she couldn't put herself to do that, to watch him leave that way. Just as she thought he would try to mock her with harsh words, his following response surprised her by its calmness. For a blinking moment, she thought they were still in their old days, just sweet and lovey dovey. Her cheeks flushed into a sheer pink shade at his question, noticing how he was asking in a teasing manner. "I'm not-" she muttered and looked towards where he pointed, finding a vacant table not far at the direction. "Let's go there then." She picked up the food he brought and went over to the table, in between turning to see him to make sure he didn't run away.

@☼ : sooyoung ha。ʰᶦᵃᵗᵘˢ One. Two. Three. Four. Fi— His mental counting was cut abrupt by a familiar hand encapsulating his arm; and he did not even have to turn around to know it was her voice that stopped his feet. Last time (and first time) this happened, he just up and left in the middle of their heated break up— no anything to stop his exit; and, knowing this must how it would’ve been if she stopped him, he regretted storming off that night and not giving her enough reason to follow after him (no matter how absurd that sounded). “Aren’t you a heavy eater?” he asked in a half-joking and half-serious tone before turning around and slipping his hands into his pockets. “Anyway, I suppose there’s a table over there,” he pointed at the tables near the manmade lake, which was surprisingly not that crowded considering the amount of people in the event.

☼ : jooheon lee。 [A] 1 day ago Reply
☼ : soojin seo。 3 minutes ago Reply
i hope we can get to know each other better soon

lmao.

you arse

@☼ : akay xiu。 Another silence flowed in between the two after she came back from the common table. She wasn't sure why but that awkwardness had never happened to them, in the past or present. In the past, it would be him coming to her first for all the dates and anniversaries, suggesting places to go or the things they could do. To think of that, actually no men could have been that meticulous like him, but she couldn't give her appreciation with her work occupied. At that time, she was too focused with it and think of it as any priority in any situation, even with him. Watching him suddenly stand up after placing the food between them, she instinctly stood up and followed him, before grabbing him by the arm. Surprised by her own actions, she blinked as she tried to process words to make him stay. "I- can't eat it all. Share with me." She pursed her lips, already regretting the lame excuse although she couldn't think of a better way to keep him from leaving.

@☼ : sooyoung ha。 Another sigh escaped his lips at their proximity albeit it was more quiet than a whisper. Just a moment ago, they were about to rip each other's throat off (figuratively and maybe literally as well) and now, they're sitting beside each other as if nothing happened; and, to be honest, he wasn't quite sure whether he liked the former or the latter. "Food," he answered shortly as he placed the bag between them. A few seconds passed by before he decidedly stood up and looked at the woman. "That's yours. I suppose there's nothing left to say..," he paused momentarily and with a huge exhale, continued on, ".. but goodbye." Akay then turned around again to join the crowd and headed for the exit.

[] that's the wrong room oops

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