– atelier.

@♛ – minho lee. what i meant was, someone like you who looks as if they have too much money, more than they know what to properly do with it, aren't normally bothered about these things
especially things they think can be so easily fixed by throwing said money around
/the way you just shoot down the task of taking care of your own photos has me only confirming the exact kind of pompous little that has mommy and daddy for money and that's it
like i was saying, it takes a certain kind of person to appreciate art, in all forms and for all the steps it takes
/glances over at you when you decide to stop yourself from explaining, and i thank god you do too because you were only sounding increasingly disgusting as you did so
/and its obvious that you don't affect me, not even a fraction of what i'm doing to you so far it seems, i don't care what you think of me, because i've met hundreds of people like you and all i feel in the presence of these kinds of... humans is numbness
/pausing once more i lift my gaze and much like earlier when you saw me modelling, its just my eyes that shift to be able to meet your gaze
the intention was not to offend, though i can't say the same for you considering how you've acted since stepping in here
/waves my hand about the space beside me, gesturing to the atelier as a whole before i bring my brush to the canvas, speaking calmly as i paint
all i'm going by is what you've shown me so far, so perhaps if you dislike how i see things, how i speak based off of these qualities you've presented, then perhaps it says more about you then it does me
/murmurs just before you leave, the slamming not even making me flinch but when you're gone i'ts one, two breaths before i sigh to myself and lower my brush
/turning my head i look at the door you've just slammed, staring at it for a few more seconds before i bow my head, shaking it after a moment
men...
/mutters under my breath, as if i weren't a man myself, but there's no other word to give you right now because of how utterly drained and tired i feel in that moment
you can come out now
he's gone
/perhaps surprisingly ashley makes an appearance, the woman never having left in the first place, just hidden in the room i disappeared to earlier to get dressed, using the commotion of her students leaving to trick you into thinking she'd gone
"i knew he'd be annoyed with the smudge, thanks chris. you saved me again"
no problem
you go on home, i'll close up when i'm done here, promise
"alright, but don't sleep in here again okay? go home to a proper bed"
/i don't promise anything, simply seeing her out before i slump down on a bar stool, the wood creaking under me as i just sit there in the fading light of the sunshine outside, my shoulders sagging and my hands resting between my thighs
/i don't raise my brush again, i don't even look at my art right now, not when i'm plagued by the feeling you're more familiar to me than perhaps you should be, albeit its not your face, or voice, just... a feeling i wish i could shake

@❆ – christopher bang. what's that supposed to mean, someone like me?
you dont have to be any certain way to appreciate art the way it should be appreciated.
/even though my words are true, its the way i deliver them that seem so contradictory, as if im a walking contradiction as it is, and i quite often feel that way
/but it has me glancing away from you, not wanting to think about whatever it is within me that you draw out, whatever it is that makes me weak enough to show a side i've learned to stifle so well
there are people who are paid to do those jobs.
as if i'd do something like that.
/scoffing softly, i roll my eyes while looking away from you, but the act has my gaze falling back to you after, seeing you so close to your own painting, and naturally (is it natural?) my gaze falls to your lips for a brief moment
dont act like you know what she does for me.
she's paid to do a job for me, especially under a time cruch and--
you know what, why do i even /bother/ explaining something like this to someone like you?
forget it.
/your words hit a different chord in me, and i dont like it, or do i? and i end up shaking my head to clear myself of the thoughts, trying not to dwell too much on it while it just leaves me confused and generally bothered
/while im intent on walking away from you, feeling much like a bristling cat and very out of my element, i pause at the door, my fingertips just barely brushing over the doorknob while i turn back to look at you
/but you're not looking at me anymore, and im not sure why but it bothers me, either that you're not giving me the attention i want or that you just seem to brush me off so easily without another care in the world, and it has me sighing softly before i speak up
dont try to suggest i get rid of the one thing in this life i can appreciate and love.
you dont know me, and you dont need to act like you do.
/closing my fingers around the handle, i turn it and pull the door open, fingers coming to the envelope to hold it in my arm now that im going to be on the move
i'll do what i want, thank you very much.
perhaps if she did it right the first time, it wouldnt be an issue.
/even as i stand there, i stare at your back, glaring daggers into your broad shoulders and daring you to turn and look at me again and perhaps you feel it, the burning of my gaze, but i dont wait to see if you do look
/without another word, i leave the classroom feeling some sense of... bothered, in a way, the door slamming behind me because i couldnt care to pull it closed like a decent human being

@♛ – minho lee. perhaps the process was just a little botched for one of them
they're just photos. you can have them redone if you want, someone like you i would have expected to not bother with the old fashioned ways of getting photos
/and it's a fair observation considering how you're dressed, how yo look, why would someone like you waste their time with something so tedious and long winded as a process like this
so you don't email people either?
/mutters under my breath as you so kindly let me know you in fact do not wait for people, but i merely brush it off because people like you, people who rush through time like they can just buy more - they're not my speed
/that whisper you so carefully let out is enough to draw me out of my own world, my gaze lifting as i look over at you and raise an eyebrow
/so many people don't appreciate art, its just an object, none of the emotion embedded within is often even glimpsed, and i'd expect this from you, but apparently you're not the same
/but so quickly that nasty rotten side of you is back, the one that seems to see a price on everything, everyone, and i hate it immensely
i'll tell her no such thing
especially if you're just going to be unkind to her for a single photo. don't you know the saying about if you want a job done properly, you should do it yourself?
/asks as i lean in towards my work, the figure painted there looking like something out of the pre-raphaelite brotherhood era, beautiful, classical imagery and for a moment it almost seems as if i'm about to kiss it with how close i am
maybe try getting your own hands dirty next time. perhaps you'll feel like you actually accomplished something
/instead i continue speaking, my back on you though i give you a sliver of my attention since i am still talking to you, albeit chiding you at this current moment
...maybe not
/straightening up, i twist at my waist to look at you, unbothered by your catty behaviour, you can bare your fangs, your claws and hiss all you want, but i'm unbothered by people like you it seems
either way, its the least a process as old and as loving as that deserves. otherwise just use a digital camera next time
/turning back to my painting, i take care with it like a person might do someone else in real life, though such things are for stories, movies - fiction, the only romance i find in the world now comes from the of my paintbrushes
oh, and leave ashley alone. she's got enough to deal with

@❆ – christopher bang. /for a moment, i wonder if there was any sort of reason for me to even stick around, especially when you look at me the way you do, because even if i've been looked at with disdain plenty of times, this one feels different
/i dont like the feeling one bit, and so my scowl returns, brows furrowed and fingers fall clenched into a loose fist at my side before i tuck my thumb into my pocket
/perhaps thats why i cant figure out whether to stay or go, whatever this feeling is, and it has me looking you up and down for a moment before the words that come out of your mouth annoy me, enough that im rolling my eyes
yes, ashley. whatever her name is.
her, or one of her students, ruined one of my pictures.
/lifting up the envelope that i had tucked under my arm, i watch your movements as you rinse out the paintbrushes, my gaze falling to your hands and how your fingers run over the brushes, but i force myself to look away
i dont /wait/ for people.
/snapping quietly at your suggestion, i raise a brow as if you would know that, or like you should know that, as if my entire demeanor already hadnt shown that already
/i dont have much time or room to say anything else to you about it, stepping back slightly from where i was standing and being careful of the paint, because god forbid anything gets on my clothes
/my gaze follows you once more, only when you're not there to see is there some level of interest and wonder, perhaps a hint of it still in my gaze but you dont seem too interested in me anymore
/normally it would bug me, and even any other circumstance it would, but even if i've never been able to chase most of the dreams i've always had, i know there's nothing like the love between an artist and their art
its beautiful...
/the words leave my lips before i have a chance to stop them, my eyes snapping shut as i bite my tongue after, only thankful that it was a whisper and not an exclamation
anyways--
tell her she'll be hearing from me later.
/it all changes within a moment, that hint of something different gone within the blink of an eye, and i tip my chin up once more and turn on my heel with every intention of leaving before i stick my foot in my mouth, or do anything else equally embarrassing

[post deleted by owner]

@♛ – minho lee. /collecting the last brushes from the table in front of me i don't seem to mind when paint drops off of them and onto my shirt, it's not like it's spotless anyway
/i'm about to take them over to the sink to wash up when you're suddenly in front of me, my head tipping back so i can even look at you and i realise you're a lot taller than i thought at first
you mean ashley?
/at this point i'm just being annoying on purpose, bringing up the woman's name since i figure anyone looking for her as desperately as you are right now should at least know that much and you don't
i don't know really
/shrugs my shoulders as i turn away from you, bringing the brushes with me before i turn on the tap, the smell of oil paints and watercolour pallets filling the air and its so familiar for me i lean into it a bit because i love the scent
i'm assuming it was some kind of emergency considering how quickly she went off
though where i couldn't say, and as for how long?
/stepping back from the sink i flick out the brushes, rolling them out on the side to dry before i pick up an old rag on the side, using it to wipe off my hands
can't tell you that either
/murmurs as i look at my hands, patting the last droplets off on my thighs while the old rag is tossed over my shoulder, my palms then resting against the edge of the sink which i lean back against while looking at you
i'm not even sure she's coming back since she asked me to clean up
perhaps you'd be better off coming back tomorrow or try shooting her an email to let her know you were here
/suggests though there isn't much push behind it because i doubt you like listening to other people, and before you can hurl any possibly nasty words at me, i'm moving again
/this time i disappear behind a half open door, bringing back with me a large canvas which i place down nearby, looking over the painting there and testing to see how dry it is
/in the care of working on my own art, clearly not just a model, i forget you're even here, you're part of this world - the one i dislike so much
/so forgetting both you and it while i slip into thoughts of another realm far away, one where people aren't unkind or cruel or any of that, one that entirely consumes my mind is easy making the softened look on my face appearing almost romantic in a sense

@❆ – christopher bang. /slowly but surely, my gaze comes to you so i can watch you move, but its only after i've made sure you're not even looking at me anymore
/because it felt like i was getting holes burnt into my skull from the way i felt your gaze on me, and its something i myself have experienced plenty of times, so to know someone else thinks of me this way, its no surprise
/instead i linger once you've left, sure that by now the teacher would have come back and i'd have time to complain about how there's a smudge on one of the prints, one that most definitely didnt come from me
/yet she's not there, and when i hear the door open again its you, slowly turning my head to look at you with a brow just barely raised, but now you're in clothes and looking just as charming now as you were
any time now, really.
/grumbling to myself, there's a soft scoff under my breath as i look to my watch once more, watching the second hand tick away before i sigh and look up once more, reaching for my phone as if waiting for a text or call, something
/but there's nothing, so after a long moment of watching you move around the room and take care of the items, i make my way across the room myself, pausing on the other side of a table from where you're standing, looking to you with wide eyes
/for a moment, im not like me, not the usual cold and disgusted person, instead looking rather entranced before i snap out of it, clearing my throat quietly before speaking up
where did she go?
how long until she'll be back.

@♛ – minho lee. Ashley? The envelope...?
/repeats as I look at you, wondering if you just misheared me, though I realise a moment later that my initial gut feeling that it was just you being brusque was right
/you take it anyway and as you begin to take your time looking through your prints I wonder if you think I have all day to wait for you to look through them, and I realise that's exactly it, my time means nothing you you hence you leisurely wasting it
/watching you finish up I don't say anything as you dismiss me like some kind of dog, my gaze focused solely on you even if you can't give me the decency to look at me like a person should, stranger or not
/even if you don't look at me I'm sure you can feel it, I'm not glaring, it's worse than that, it's a silent kind if ticking time bomb as it seems you've sealed your first impression and it's less than liked, its disappointing but sadly expected
/without a word I leave you with your work, slipping away silently and making a beeline for the back as the last few students leave the classroom, making all the sound that's left is now a radio hidden somewhere playing classical music softly
/I reappear some minutes later, dressed in simple clothing, slacks and a top that hangs off of me, the pants covers in plain stains and my sleeves look like they were dipped in ink and perhaps they were at some point
/I don't speak while I go about the classroom, something melodious and comforting about how I do things, methodical and purposeful, tidying up pencils, paintbrushes and so on
/if you weren't such a piece of work perhaps I would have told you theres no point hanging around for Ashley, but considering how you treated me I figure you don't deserve such common things from me, not if you're going to end up being one of the people in this world who makes me lament how I wasn't born in another era entirely

@❆ – christopher bang. /though i've never told anyone about it, not even my sister, i've always had an admiration for the arts, some hint of it shown with my own talent in photography and dance
/but things like this, art on paper and with different materials, is something i know i could never participate in, for plenty of different reasons that are complicated on their own
/and yet its you, you're gorgeous on plenty of different levels, no doubt perfect for this kind of thing, and the emotion you hold in just your gaze-- another chill runs down my spine at the memory, and i have to close my eyes for a moment
/as i hear everyone getting up and gathering their things, my lashes flutter and i glance around the room, not even necessarily moving to get out of anyone else's way, because i'd be damned if i moved for anyone
/just as i look to the teacher, the very person who was supposed to help me, i end up scowling as she's rushing out of the room without even sparing me a glance, tsking softly under my breath and pulling out my phone to send a very purposeful text to my sister
/frowning at my phone while waiting for some sort of idea of what's going on, its not the most flattering expression i've had, in fact i look much better with a smile on my lips, but its something so rare to come by some days, im much more used to this
/and so when i realize that there's someone in front of me, i lift my gaze, only my eyes moving while everything else about me stays still, and though im surprised to see you there i dont give that away in my expression
what?
/clicking my tongue quietly, i finally shift, lowering my phone and tucking it back into my pocket while just barely raising a brow, because i couldnt be bothered to learn the woman's name
/reaching out, i take the envelope from you, not answering your questions because clearly you dont know who i am, so instead i just open the envelope and pull out the pictures with utmost care, brows furrowed as i slowly and purposefully look through each one
/sparing a quick glance up to you, there's a brief moment of wonder, of how you can be so different while posing for the artists versus there in front of me, and when my gaze falls i realize you havent dressed really, only the robe wrapped around you at the moment
/clearing my throat, i tuck the pictures pack into the envelope, tipping my head up slightly and not once has my gaze really softened, a certain hardness ingrained in me more than anything
please.
/rolling my eyes, i tuck the envelope under my arm, free hand coming to prop on my hip while i raise my brows at you, gesturing with a shooing motion
/because god forbid i show any interest in you, what you do, or anything of the sort, especially in front of you or anyone else, and i turn my gaze away from you very purposefully
dont meddle in my business.
go on now.

@♛ – minho lee. "take your time, students. remember rome wasn't built in a day and the masterpieces you'll create will not be either. put enough emotion into your work that you wish for the world not to look upon it, see how-"
/the teacher stops speaking when the door is suddenly opened to the classroom, though i don't make a move to cover myself or hide, i don't make a move at all really because i know if i do then the hours of work put into the study of my figure by these students will be for naught
/though the one thing i do move is my eyes, turning only them in your direction but you don't look at me for long, perhaps you're embarrassed, shock, maybe even shy, but it's not unusual for you to hide your gaze away as you do
/returning to my posture i wait for a moment more, hearing the teacher call the lesson to a close before she hands me the robe left on the side for me, taking and wrapping it around myself for now until i can get to the back for my clothes
/a couple of the students ask me to come and look at their work, and so i do, complimenting them but more importantly, giving some soft words of advice for where to turn to next
"christopher, would you mind giving these to the young man who just walked in? i'd do it myself but i've just been called for an emergency staff meeting"
of course, i hope everything is alright
don't worry about here, i'll sort it out, you go on ahead
/the woman thanks me earnestly and hands me a brown large envelope, that of which i assume are photos inside, that's what you barged in here for isn't it?
/looking up from it i figure i better give it to you now rather than make you wait for me to get dressed, walking over to you i clear my throat before i bow my head politely
hello
ashley asked me to give this to you
/holds out the envelope the teacher gave me, soft waves falling around my face and while i'm not reclining and crying a single tear anymore, nor entirely , i still look like something from the academic art movement
is there anything else you needed?
/like a lamb to slaughter i don't know whom i'm talking to, not because i'm ill minded, but instead because i don't run in the circles you do, and honestly i don't care to, the jealousy people feel looking at other people's lives through a screen was never a wish of mine
i'd be happy to get it for you if there is

@❆ – christopher bang. /with a sigh, i sit back in my seat and outstretch my arm, tugging the sleeve of my jacket up slightly so that i can look at my watch
/grumbling both at the time and the stiffness of the suit jacket, i look at the time for a long moment before sitting up slightly, finally peeling the plaid jacket off of my arms and shoving it in the back
im sick of promoting plaid on plaid.
/after my latest material, i was tired of sponsors and promoting brands i didnt really care for anyway, all for my parents really, but i couldnt really complain, not when it got my name out there
/but i was tired of waiting for the class to end, so instead of sitting in my car any longer i finally climbed out and made my way into the atelier
/people were expecting the pictures, and of course i had to be the one to get them processed and handled, so naturally i took my time while taking out my phone and scrolling through it
/without even waiting to know whether or not the class was over, i open the door to the room and step inside while tucking my phone back into my pocket
/the sight before me isnt one i expected, a body with great physique and quite literally gorgeous, stunning, and it has me standing still in the doorway for a moment longer than i should, unable to turn my eyes away from you
/perhaps that's why there's the sudden spark that goes through me when your eyes slide from their spot and lock with my own, but i glance away too quickly to process anything that had happened, instead turning away and stepping toward the back of the room
/as the teacher dismisses class for the day, i turn my gaze everywhere but at you, but i cant get the image out of my mind, almost as if it's already committed to memory, and i shake my head a little while waiting for the teacher to be done just so i can ask for the pictures