⇻ bar

@◦ o. metawin ᵀᶦⁿᵉʷᶦⁿ Stars filled the sky like pale corn on the freshly turned ground. It was the promise of life in the darkness, a sense of warmth springing from the cold. It was a vastness to bring humbleness and an eternal space to bring gratitude for the coziness of home. No matter the years that passed, taemin saw each night sky as a fresh gift given anew. It was the moment anyone that knew him would see his eyes smile and his breathing deepens just a little. Stars shone as sugar spilled over black marble, glistening in the sun. The night sky was such a welcome sight, appearing like magic at each sunset, promising to return as it faded in dawn's first light. There were times in the daytime, under skies of blue, taemin would think of those faraway stars and how they'd return after the shadows blended into the dark.

But this night was different, tonight taemin would go out… and he would live his evening under the haze of smoke and the scent of liquor. The way he walked into the bar, colonise the booth and order a round of neat spirits. That's how he was getting the night started. His black locks being slicked back a moment after he shot back the vodka before his eyes glanced from
The bar and toward one of the tables. The music deafening him, but the crowd of people did not blind him. The way he found himself staring at one of the tables in particular, toward one tall man in particular. “Could I get a drink sent to that man over there?” The slightly shorter man asked the bartender before he witness the Long Island ice tea being brought toward the ‘stranger’. However… the man was no stranger to taemin… how could he be? That was his ex.


( Taemin’s outfit)
https://64.media.tumblr.com/d16a17095527c6b70dc4818fad42f897/a076cf129b621a83-a5/s540x810/2588335d4064f4e67d87d17271a59d5eb17b8312.jpg

@◦ l. taemin ᶜᵃˡᶦᶜᵒ Metawin woke up late in the afternoon, he gather his thoughts of the night prior and he sighed to himself. He got drunk yet again and went home with another stranger. He knew he needed to control himself more, he didn't mind it yet, he always felt bad the next day. This time it was mutual since the person left his apartment without a trace and he didn't mind that at all. He stood up from his bed, wrapping himself with a bathrobe then he went to make himself coffee. The smelled of coffee always made him feel happy and relax, he felt normal again. Then he walked to his balcony leaning into the door frame as he drank his coffee quietly in deep thoughts 'What to do today?' he asked himself. He was tired of the clubs, every club was the same, he went to his room and grab his phone. He researched around Instagram until he found a nice bar, with good prices and drinks.

He went to his walk and found something to wear that took a while since he didn't want to be too flashy especially at a bar. Then he went to take a shower, inside the shower he focus on his self, he needed time to have fun and meet new people. Tonight was the night he had a feeling something good would happen, he finished taking a shower and he started to get dressed. Then he sat down in front of the mirror and put a bit of makeup to cover a few spots he disliked. Then he fixed his hair, he stood up and left his apartment. He needed to eat something before going out to drink, that's always the number one rule. He went to a nice restaurant close to the bar, he order his food then waited for it. He stare out the window as the night sky was finally showing. He giggle to himself, he couldn't believe he had slept almost all day.

When his food got to his table he was happy, and eat it. The food was delicious he would leave a good review on their page later. He then walked out of the place and made his way to the bar. The bar to his surprise was 'lit' people were standing in line out, not a lot, but the more minutes passed he was happy he actually went 'early' since it took him almost one hour to walk inside. When he walked inside eyes were on him, he just cheaply smiled at people starring, he could be considered a 'model' but he was too humble. He loves baking and arriving flowers for others, that was his job and he loved it. The weekends were his 'wild life' he managed to get a standing table, he ordered a drink and then he lean into the table as his eyes looked around curiously. Now that he was in a bar/club his other side show. The flirty, and seductive side, his eyes linger on some people and his body language caught a few stares. One thing about Metawin he seem like a top, but he enjoys being a bottom more. He gets bored too easily being the 'dominant' one.

(( *coughs* my bad ouo.....I will eue leave this here for you to imagine what he is wearing eue ..https://64.media.tumblr.com/2f117d93823abb5afba586b89aec3017/20d2b9a50515913f-b7/s250x400/6cd1390c459b57fb7b4e84748d7101cebd5fdb69.jpg ))

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@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ I know, ten. Sometimes as the other person it's hard to just bring something up as well, and maybe he doesn't want you to feel like he's attacking you.
*takes a shot before looking back at the other*
That's good that you felt comfortable enough to reach out to him though, and i'm glad that he's able to cheer you up.
*shakes head*
That's fine, you dont have to. I believe you wouldn't, people like that tend to put what they are doing on to others like her looking at you like you were the one who hurt her.
*takes a deep breath*
If it's easier for you ask him if you did something wrong and if he says no, and just needs time to think about something, then allow that.
Don't ruin something because your scared, and being doubtful of yourself can do that. I love you Ten, and I really want you to know that you deserve a guy like moony. I feel like i'm reiterating myself a lot
*he mumbles that last bit*
It takes time though, you'll learn that this is worth it, and that you are worth it.

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ I just want to know what I did… I would rather him get upset with me and tell me I screwed up… rather than contemplate what to say… don’t spare my feelings, just tell me…
*he sighed *
That night where we went drinking with woo and jihyo… I ended up messaging him because I was so stressed and upset… and he cheered up, something he seems to effortlessly do…
* taking another shot, he closes his eyes as he spoke *
Not here… not now… I don’t want someone here seeing it and pitying me… and I don’t want to see it… I wish I didn’t have it… it just reminds me of that day… it reminds me of the way she looked at me… like I had stabbed her… I never cheated you know? I didn’t.
* his eyes opening again as he looked at his friend *
I do feel that way sometimes.. I feel as though I have no right to be happy like this… like being happy and having someone who seems to care for me and love me is something I’ve taken from someone else. But the thought of him loving someone else… fawning over someone who isn’t me… it’s upsetting to think about

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ Well, if you have done something to upset him, and you have no idea what it is, be patient. Let him come to you when he is ready to talk about it, and if you did do something acknowledge it, and see what you can do differently to make it better. We are human, we make mistakes and you have to be forgiving of yourself as well.
The hectic night? /tilts head in confusion/
Oh, that’s… I mean we all have our insecurities. Uhm.. c-can I see it? I mean, don’t if your not comfortable, but I’m sure it’s not as ugly as you think it is, and you don’t have to show me if you aren’t willing.
Ten, you have to stop telling yourself you are undeserving of someone wonderful like that. You did nothing wrong, you aren’t a horrible person. You are great, honestly. I might not know everything about you, but you’ve been a kind friend to me thus far and I really think that you and moony are both really lucky to have each other. You both are deserving of what each other has to offer.

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ I understand that.. I haven’t been in a relationship in three years a so, I get it. I’m not afraid of being in a relationship or even giving myself to someone else again… I’m scared I’ve done something that has upset him… I don’t even know what’s troubling him but my mind always reverts to the possibility that it’s my fault… he’s so kind and sweet… he’s silly and always seems to know what to say like when I ended up messaging him after that hectic night… he goes out of his way for me and thinks so highly of me… and I don’t know why
*he sighed and found himself pouring a shot for himself before kicking it back*
You know… I don’t even take my shirt off when I have with him.. TMI maybe, but I don’t want him seeing how ugly my body looks from what happened… so I’m a coward in that sense… like I’m undeserving of someone so wonderful

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ That’s good, to think that things happen for a reason.
I get that. We all have our fears of things, I haven’t been in a relationship since high school but I’ve had things that caused me to have my own fears, so I get that.
Just try not to let it consume you okay, honestly.
And if it’s fear, maybe it’s something he’s afraid of as well.
Have you guys actually had a chance to talk about these things yet?
I know it’s early but I think that’s something that should be done for anyone. You don’t have to go into too much detail, just kinda go over things. You know?
*lets out a soft sigh*
I guess, but it still seems like it can be troublesome.

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ I believe I lived for a reason you know… like the universe had a plan for me and so I lived… and in a way it allowed me to cherish life a bit more I suppose…
* he slowly looked toward his friend and smiled slightly *
I know that… I just always have a fear that I’m doing something wrong… even if nothing is wrong if that makes sense…
* he mumbled and looked down again *
I’m alright, nothing therapy couldn’t help fix you know..

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ *eyes widen a bit in shock*
I—
*closes eyes and takes a breath to compose himself before responding*
First of all I’m glad you’re alive, and that… /that/ didn’t happen.
I get that it’s scary trying to get out there, and it’s good to be honest about stuff like that.
You have to know though, not everyone is your ex fiancé.
I.. are you really okay?

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ She tried to kill me… she stabbed me.
*he whispered and as he remembered the incident *
That’s why I try to be so honest with myself and others… why I go in headfirst to everything

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ *nods along while listening*
That sounds horrible, Ten.
First I’m glad you got out of that and aren’t in that situation anymore,
*looks at you with concern*
And..?
Did she do something?

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ Well… she kinda instilled this self doubt in myself… she always thought I was cheating on her… I couldn’t go to work without her arguing and crying about how I was so vile and how I was unfaithful… and…
* he paused and sighed *
For a year that went on… and then I broke up with her…
*he frowned as he chewed on his lower lip*
And she got really upset… and…

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ *nods lightly*
I do know that, I don’t know to whom or what happened though.

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *he glanced down at the bar and traced the wood with his fingers *
You know I was engaged, right ?

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ Me and you? *furrows eyebrows in confusing*
I would think so, why?

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *he glanced at the other man and frowned a little*
Chanwoo… we’re close, at least I would like to think… right ?

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ *orders a bottle of soju for the both of them*
Ten, look.
I know you’re anxious but try not to worry okay. Sometimes people need time to figure things out, and you just entered the relationship, you both are still getting to know each other. It takes time, but you’ve got this.

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *resting his elbow on the bar, he held his chin with a huff *
I’ll have whatever you’re having chanwoo, I don’t want you spending a lot on me

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ *sits at the bar next to ten*
I don’t think you did anything, ten.
*calls the bartender over*
What do you want? It’s on me.

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ * he slowly entered the bar and instantly sits at the bar with a sigh. Chewing on his inner cheek and then mumbled *
I don’t know what I did…

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ *nods lightly before slightly tilting his head to the side as a gesture for the other to follow him inside*
That’s understandable.
Come on
*walks inside the bar*

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ * he slowly found himself sliding the vape in his pocket and nodded slightly *
Yeah I’m fine. I’m just… perplexed and worried. Let’s go in, I need a drink

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ *waves before putting his hands in his pocket standing a bit off to the side*
You good?
Want to stay out here for a min?

@◦ j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ * the crack of his vape echoed in his head as he took a drag and exhaled the smoke like vapour *
I- oh hey chanwoo
* he smiled slightly and waved *

@◦ l. chittaphon ᵗᵉⁿ.⁹⁶ waiting outside of the bar, Chanwoo see’s the other coming up, and goes to greet him *
Hey, Ten.

* he found himself already hitting his vape as he wandered toward the bar with a troubled look on his face *

good question
I suppose another kiss?
/looks up at you with a shyer smile/
How about you?

Smiles and clicks his tongue ..” okay hmmm . What’s something you wish you could have rn but afraid to ask for