‎ ‎ ⇸ yixing's apartment

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ he couldn't be any closer to you in that moment without stripping down to his skin and doing the same to you. his arms are about your neck and shoulders, holding onto you while the look on his face is overtaken by that pure adoration he's held for you plenty of times before. it isn't in the midst of afterglow this time, it isn't the smile he wears when he's laid beneath you in the midst of when he's had to tell himself not to think of it as lovemaking even when your fingers are laced with his, holding his hand to the sheets, and he knows there's nowhere he would rather be. this time, it's words, a promise of a future that is more than just physical, and a suggestion. "don't mind if i do." he bows his head, nose brushing gently alongside yours as he finds his tilt, lips softly landing upon yours and slowly melding with the warmth of your wine-tinted brims. the feeling of wholeness that comes with kissing you now elicits a soft, pleased noise to leave him, fed to you.

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ he can't take his eyes off you, head tipped back so he can keep looking while you tower over him, his arms wrapping tighter, further around your waist to pull you in, hips and chest flush as if there were any space left to eliminate between you both; hand following the arch of your spine with awe. you're so beautiful, he's thought so from the moment he met you for the first time, to each one that followed where you smiled or cried or simply existed in his presence. his expression softens, the alcohol a pleasant hum in his veins alongside the joy you've brought him, flooding his body with another type of intoxication. "i'm yours. just yours." a weary smile stretches across his lips, petting his left hand down your thigh, cradling it in his grasp. "you can start by kissing me." it's a bolder response, egged on by your sweet words and the subtle movement of your hips against his lap, his thighs shifting beneath your weight.

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ the only response he can provide in the moment is to shake his head. had you ever been a fool to the situation, he was as well. two hearts beating as one but neither really wanting to admit to it until now, until another hand had ventured near the table and pushed him so close to you that there was no way to deny his feelings, buried but genuine, any longer. and to have you here now... his back arches beneath your touch, his figure pressed in as close to yours as he can manage while his thumb gently sweeps along your cheekbone, admiring the feel of your skin beneath his hand as he peers over you. his eyes slowly flutter shut at the feel of your nose at his jaw, and he quietly exhales in relief. "we were both foolish. be mine... not anyone else's. i want - i want to give you all of those things, and to have yours in return." his hips nearly bounce against your lap, but it isn't ual, it's bound frustration being shed. "i want to start making up for three years of lying to myself about how i felt... and how you felt about me."

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ though there's been an indication of how you feel and one quiet evening where affections were returned he's not expecting the excitement in your voice, or the cupping of his cheek, drawing his gaze back up to yours once more. it takes a beat for the words to truly sink in and the realisation that you're his to fully seep into his consciousness. "i've been a fool." his eyes shine though tears don't fall, the emotion merely making dark pupils glisten as he blinks them away. you've already seen him in one state tonight that he can't debase himself further by crying, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallows down the lump in his throat, pressing into the palm against his cheek, craving your touch. his right hand cups the small of your back, palm pressed flat against it as he leans in to nose against your jaw, breathing out a sigh of relief that has the knots in his stomach dissolving into nothing. "i'm sorry i've kept you waiting for so long, taeyang. i'm yours if you'll have me."

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ taeyang sits up a little straighter when he hears you speak. his eyes are wide, confusion etched upon his face at the first 'no,' but he says nothing. he's been used to the way of things for years, and recent developments have had their drawbacks. what of business? what of entanglement? it's a hope he's only tried to find a way toward with projections that feel lifeless... a five year plan toward clarity. and yet as he sits on your lap and listens to you, the clarity dawns on him. his lips twitch, the right corner tucking into his cheek. with your head at his chest, he places his chin over the crown of your head and hugs you against himself by the shoulders. in a moment of silence he would swear you could hear his pulse thrumming all too excited beneath his skin. when he speaks, it isn't the quiet whispers, it's emotions that had long fought to escape being given a vent. "then let me be yours. i want that too, all of it! all of me has been yours without needing to ask, i just-" he lifts his head, leans back in your lap and gathers your cheek once more in his palm. "i've been yours. all you ever needed to do was ask."

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ "no not--" a frustrated noise sounds in his throat, brows pinched. it's the same dance between you again, emotions buried beneath and physical gratification, late night calls and rendezvous at twilight hours. it's not what he wants now. "not like that. i want all of you, your- hopes and dreams, your fears, your desires, your-" his meets your gaze with wide eyes, clarity shining in them like he's seeing for the first time. his breath shakes when he inhales. "i want to be with you when you're sad, i want to hold your hand and wake up next to you in the morning, every day. i've been in love with you for years, tae and this- this isn't enough for me. i don't want it like this anymore." his hands grip at your waist, chin tucking back into the safety of your chest as he drops his gaze, letting the last few words slip out in a whisper. "i want to be yours.. properly."

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ "you have me." there's no second thought behind taeyang's words. he's been down this path plenty of times before this, many of them without the feeling that stirs in him around his diaphragm, a bit like the weightlessness that comes with the descent of a roller coaster - all the anticipation and joy and just a hint of nervousness that comes with his feet feeling off the ground for a little too long. he bows his head, forehead leaned to yours, his eyes slipping shut for the space of a breath just to be this close to you. "you have me whenever you want me, da ge." only a whisper escapes before he lifts his head and fixes his gaze on you once more. "you could have told me that over text though, you know. i still would have come. i always do."

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ "you did... you're good at keeping your word." it's a dig at himself, a reflection he dislikes the notion of as a finger circles the rim of his glass idly, staring into the dark liquid with a vacant expression, distracted from the current moment in time and pulled back into it the moment your hand finds his. brows lift, faintly, his fingers curling around yours with an air of familiarity that burns in the pit of his stomach. his eyes close, head tilted to lean into your hand against his cheek, the warmth of your fingers brushing through his hair to fix his appearance. under normal circumstances he's never let himself appear before you like this, dishevelled and out of sorts, his eyes blinking open slowly once you're settled in his lap. yixing's arms circle your waist, holding you tight as he presses his nose to your shoulder, willing himself to to spit the words out before they're swallowed down and lost forever. "i want you."

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ “i came like i said i would,” he says as he watches you finish your glass of wine. he isn’t used to seeing you drink like this, not unless he was there to share in it. when you reach across the table, he places a hand in yours, his thumb grazing over the palm of your hand just over your wrist. he stands, leaves the chair where it sits, and rounds the table with measured steps, his hip pressed in against its edge. when he reaches your side, his other hand touches gently at your cheek, long fingers soon attempting to comb back your hair into a semblance of order as he places himself across your lap. it’s a way to distract himself, something he needs to keep himself from thinking of all the ways this could end. “i’m here, da ge.”

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ when you finally appear before him, standing to attention on the other side of the table, there's a level of tension in the air that he isn't used to and your reluctance to come closer has the corners of his mouth dipping down. "i did..." there's more resting on his tongue, hesitant to leave when he watches you take a seat, raising the glass to his lips again, head tipped back to down the remaining wine and pour himself another. "you're too far away." it's nothing more than a mumble, a quiet observation that has him reaching for you across the table, one hand extended in search of yours. "come closer, i want to hold you."

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ the sound of your voice draws him in, carrying him to the kitchen to you on his sock-clad feet. he stands opposite you at the table, his eyes on you as he lowers his leather jacket to the back of the chair. something about the clear gravity of the moment, your appearance in a state of dishevelment he isn’t quite used to, causes his stomach to tense. his hands smooth across the top of it and the shoulders of his jacket. “you said you had something to tell me.” the worst case scenario runs through his mind as he turns his gaze to the half-drank bottle of wine. hesitantly, he draws the chair back to take a seat, leaned into the table. any other circumstance he was liable to set himself across your lap, but not now. “what’s on your mind, da ge?”

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ yixing has never been one to lie, preferring to omit the truth and keep it to himself than tell a bold-faced fib. he wants you here, with him in his apartment. and yet there's a spike of anxiety that flares sharp through his chest like a knife cut the moment he hears the code being entered into his door. it has him clutching tightly at the stem of his wine glass, lifting the rim to his lips to take another hasty sip, letting the liquid flood his mouth with an urgency he's trying to quell. wine pulses hot through him at the sound of your voice, the bottle half-empty before him on the kitchen table when he reclines back into the dining chair. the top two buttons of his shirt lie undone, tie handing loosely around his shoulders and hair tousled with the distressed hands running through it before he finds it in himself to speak, alcohol muting the unease running through his veins. "i'm in the kitchen, tae."

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ he has all the encouragement he needs to come to you. the wine in his system is little more than warmth in his face that causes the night air to feel sharper than normal when he makes the walk from his place to yours. he’s a little tousled when he makes it to your door, confidently punching the familiar key code in to let himself inside. “da ge,” he calls out softly as he steps out of his shoes, shrugs out of the leather jacket layered over his hoodie, “it’s me.” he drapes his jacket over his arm, nudges his shoes out of the way and runs the fingers of his off hand through his curtain fringe, pushing it back from his face. “are you in the kitchen?”

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ "i know you wouldn't want me to worry. don't apologize for that, da ge." it only takes a moment for taeyang to lift the plate, turning it to offer a breadstick more easily to yixing. his expression shifts, brows slightly drawn down and head tilting toward his shoulder at another apology. "no more apologies tonight. you know exactly why i got it because you know me. and because you know me..." his voice trails off as he reaches over with his free hand, gently wrapping it around the inside of the older man's forearm near his elbow to hold. "all that i wanted was to spend my birthday with you. doesn't matter where, or doing what, so long as it's with you. though... i suppose for your sake, maybe i should have been a little more specific." he only stops himself to crack a smile, one that sparkles in his eyes.

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ "i didn't want to worry you, i'm sorry i ended up doing just that." he's swallowing thickly, head turned away to stare out the window. there's a flush beneath his skin he can't blame on the fever, holding himself as still as he can while taeyang dabs and pats at his skin. "i think the bread sticks might be a good start..?" yixing's gaze follows the younger as he rises from the bed, careful when he brings back the plate of food. a grateful expression forms on his face, reaching for a breadstick to nibble on, taking small minute bites to test the waters. "sorry. i know you prefer the chicken one. you must have gotten this just in case your favourite was too much for my stomach."

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ "poor man spent the whole day sick." taeyang's voice is soft when he answers to how things turned out. his movements are slow and gentle as he dabs the towel along yixing's jaw, only to pause and fold it over to a clean, cool side when he blots at the older's neck, attempting to offer what relief he can. "do you think your stomach can handle it? i asked just for a simple pepperoni - and i blotted as much of the grease off as i could to try and make it more palatable." he doesn't wait for an answer as he folds the rag once more in his hands and rises from the spot, careful not to lift his weight too quickly, before he rounds the bed for the plate from the other nightstand and returns with it. "there's breadsticks too, if the pizza is a little too much."

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ yixing should have known that taeyang would be so accommodating to him, from the way he shushes any further apologies to the gentle dabs along his brow to soothe the heat running rampant beneath his skin. "i was sick after you fell asleep.. i was hoping it would pass, that i might have eaten something bad and i would be fine for today. that's why i didn't text you, but.." he gestures to himself with a little laugh, eyes tired beneath their dull colour. "we both know how that turned out." he takes in a small breath then, the smell of the pizza filling his senses, tongue peeking out to wet his lips. "could i maybe have a slice..?"

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ though he knows to expect the apology, or at least allusion to it, from yixing, taeyang just shakes his head still. "no apologizing, da ge." he folds over the damp cloth in his hand, using it to gently dab at the older's brow after the first sip of tea. his other hand rests over the covers, laying lightly against the older's side. "i'm just thankful i remembered." there's a ghost of a smile on his face, not on his lips but in his eyes as he tends to yixing, each touch of the cool rag gentle but linger just out of the way. "if you had texted me after to let me know you're not feeling well, i would have come over sooner - and brought soup."

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ there’s only a short wait for taeyang to enter the room. he spends the time fluffing up his pillows, alternative between lying down and sitting up when neither position feels entirely comfortable and mumbling a small apology at the judgmental eye lulu gives him from the cat tree in the corner. when he does seem to allow himself to relax, back supported by the headboard with two pillows stuffed behind him he’s reaching out to lighten taeyang’s load, carefully prising the mug free from his grasp and patting the free space on the bed for the younger to sit. “thank you for this, I really can’t apologise enough-“ yixing blows gently on the surface of the tea, then takes a small sip, a weary smile forming at the taste. “you even made it just how I like it.”

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ "mmh, he did. and i'll be quick." taeyang's nod is firm, a whisper of a smile at the corner of his mouth as he sends yixing to his bedroom. he turns for the door, the exchange with the delivery boy kept short but cordial before he sends the young man on his way. the pizza is relegated to the counter. breadsticks and a slice of rather plain pepperoni pizza are on a plate in a moment, dabbed of its grease. when he makes his way into yixing's bedroom, the sleeves of his turtleneck pushed up toward his elbows, it's with a plate balanced on his arm against his chest, a mug of tea in hand, and a cool rag in the other. "i hope the peppermint tea will be okay on your stomach, da ge."

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ yixing head tilts, briefly leaning into the palm against his cheek. it’s comforting, more so than he’d like to admit when the hand finally pulls away. there’s a slight pout on his lips, another protest tucked behind his teeth and sitting high on his tongue when his brows lift with surprise. “woowoo did..?” the bell takes his attention, the corner of his mouth quirked when he sighs and nods, resigning himself to a fate of changed plans and an evening in bed. “don’t be too long..” he murmurs, turning to patter off to the bedroom, door ajar when he peels out of his clothes in favour of a warm, clean oversized hoodie and a matching pair of sweats, climbing into the bed with a small groan as he collapses into the pillows.

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ taeyang shakes his head, his other hand reaching to gently cup the other's cheek, partly feeling the warmth that emanates from beneath. yixing is clearly unwell, and the last thing that the younger would want is to have the other attempt traipsing around outside on his behalf. "it's my birthday, and i'm where i want to be." he says it simply, slow to withdraw his large palm from yixing's cheek, though he does with a quiet hum. "no going out and no cooking tonight, that's for sure. besides... jchan? he offered to send me a pizza, they should be-" the sound of the bell, causes him to glance over his shoulder and back. "i'll get the door if you go get in bed - i'll make you tea and bring a cool rag after. okay?"

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ there’s a small step back as taeyang moves closer, guilt making him curl away though the hand on his elbow stops him swaying in his feet. yixing’s brows furrow, a small displeased noise sounding in his throat. “no. no, it’s your birthday and I wanted to take you out and then cook for you and give you your present and-“ he lifts a hand, running a hand through damp hair, visibly stressed, then annoyed. he can see only concern in taeyang’s face, only worry and care for him that hurts somewhere deep in his chest. his face falls. “it’s your birthday and you still came here to check on me.”

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ taeyang ventured into the kitchen first, turning on the light while he held his phone in hand, responding to the direct message before he hears yixing's voice. he lifts his head from his phone, eyes slightly wide, and softened, when he sees the state of the older man in front of him. he tucks his phone away for a moment and sweeps closer, a hand quickly going to yixing's elbow to gently hold him there. "oh thank god," he murmured in audible relief, "i was worried something worse had happened to you. you should be in bed. can we get you back to bed, da ge?" there's no hint of upset in his expression, just the worry that lightly creases his dark brows.

@◦ y. taeyang ˢᵘⁿᵗᵃⁿᶻ he’d had plans for today. being sick wasn’t part of them. it was taeyang’s birthday and the special occasion only comes around once a year. yixing had wanted to make this one count, he’d seen taeyang’s reply about how excited he was. so being stuck folded over the toilet bowl, phone forgotten on his bed felt like a punch to the gut, even more so when a familiar voice called out through his apartment. yixing picked himself up off the floor, rinsed his mouth and tried to look presentable despite the sweat clinging to pallid skin and the slight tremor in his hands when he shuffled out of the bathroom. “tae- I’m so sorry.”

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ five had come and gone without a text or sign of a familiar car outside of taeyang's home. it wasn't like yixing to be late on a day-to-day basis, let alone for a special occasion. without a text to inform him that the older man was running late due to business? something was wrong. he made the short trip on foot from his place to yixing's after about five minutes of waiting and stood before the door. he could have knocked, waited for an answer. perhaps he should have. instead, he pressed the familiar keycode into the lock and let himself in through the front door and closed it behind himself. quietly, he called out, "da ge? are you home?"

@◦ p. jisung ᵖʲᶦ_ "You look like you'd fold if I flicked you hard enough." More laughter follows, louder this time though he tries to stifle it with his palm, hands covered with the long sleeves of his sweater. His face falls slightly, guilt gnawing at his conscience once Jisung shivers and his eyes wander to the kitchen, steps not far behind. "Can I get you something to warm you up? Do you like hot chocolate?" Yixing reaches for the cupboard doors, humming softly to himself. "I have herbal teas instead if you prefer. Think of it as my way of saying thanks for coming out for me."

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ “You’re cute if you think you can take me.” His voice laced with tease even though he knew fully well that if he couldn’t handle 2 push-ups, there was no way he could have won a tussle with Yixing. The man’s dimples didn’t escape his view, providing just enough mini dips into his cheeks to compliment the smile he sported. God had favorites. His shoulders lifted into a small shrug. “You weren’t too out of the way and I was just going to walk aimlessly until I got tired. I forgot to check the weather, however- it’s freezing.” To emphasize, he shivered in his shell of a hoodie. “I hope you feel better soon. Let me know if you need anything.”

@◦ p. jisung ᵖʲᶦ_ "I box, I think I could have handled myself." The corner of his mouth curls, a lazy smile appearing. "And yes I can handle you if you choose to cross me." He's trying his best not to laugh, to keep his face straight and his cheeks dimple-free but the pet names have Yixing chuckling, hands out to catch the painkillers tossed his way. "I'm Yixing, not all that breath-taking, but thank you, Jisung- for these?" He holds up the bottle, shaking it lightly for emphasis. "You really didn't have to come all this way."

@◦ z. yixing ᵉʷᵉⁿᶦᶜᵒʳⁿ “You know… anyone could have walked in here and you would’ve been screwed. If you had a death wish, at least put me in the will first.” A boyish grin decorated his features as he slipped out of his shoes, setting them aside before making his way over. “Call me Jisung, ojisan. What should I address you as? You know… besides cutie, beautiful, baby. You’re as breathtaking in person as you are online.” He complimented, tossing the bottles of painkillers to the other male.