⇻ camp park

camp park!
— about

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j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ *trying not to get too anxious while your staring at me, waiting for you to finish speaking, letting out a soft hum before shaking my head a bit, my voice quiet* no.. i don't think so..
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *stares at you for a long moment, biting at my lower lip nervously* do.. is.. did i go away for too long?
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ *waits patiently, although my anxiety is building up inside, as i try to stop my leg from shaking nervously,* oh-
oh- uhm.. go ahead?
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *fiddles nervously with my fingers, my lips as i nod my head, feeling some kind of relief from your understanding but at the same time feeling ten times worse* n no.. i really don't.. i don't know.. um. can i.. ask you something? it might sound a bit forward..
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ *closes my eyes for a moment, trying to process my thoughts* it’s okay… *I take a breath leaning back lightly to look up at the sky* to run, be scared and that you’ve hurt me. *im almost whispering now, not wanting to use too much of my voice* to err is human. *glances at you momentarily, studying your face* is there anything I can do… to help?
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *exhales quietly, shaking my head again* I .. I don't know -- that.. maybe i'm tired of running.. but.. i'm still scared. i'm tired of hurting you..
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ *nods lightly, pausing for a moment before I spea* so what are you trying to say..?
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *exhales softly, looking off for a moment and shaking my head* I don't want to be another person to add to the list of people who have hurt you.. You don't deserve that..
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ *once you let go of my hand, I nervously pick at my nails, as I take a deep breath.* it’s.. fine. *rubs my face a bit trying to sober up a bit more* I can’t say that I wouldn’t have done the same thing. I told you I self sabotage. Plus..*swallows a bit* it’s not like I haven’t been hurt before. I can take it
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *lets your hand go when I feel you pulling back, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable or forced in any way, returning my own hands back to my lap* .... I'm sorry, chan.. I told you.. I'm not.. I'm not a good guy, I'm an and I run away from things I'm scared of. And I'm sorry that it was you that I hurt, that's the last thing I wanted to do
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ *sighs lightly at the hand squeeze before pulling my hand back just a bit* it’s just… doesn’t hurt as bad if I try to convince myself the situation isn’t as bad.
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *squeezes you rhand again and shakes my head* i did though.. I shouldn't of abandoned you.. You don't need to be gentle about it, Channie.. I know what I did.
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ *shakes my head lightly* sometimes it’s hard saying something though.. *lets out a soft sigh* If I’m being honest… I.. too? *nods a bit* I don’t think you ed up /big time/ though
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *stays quiet to give you some time to absorb what i'm telling you, swallowing slowly as i nod my head* yeah -- i.. i ing ran away.. i'm so sorry.. i should of said something.. i ed up big time
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ Oh.. *trying to make sense of what you are trying to say as I chew on my inner cheek.* oh! *my voice is barely audible before nodding for a moment* no that- I… uhm. That makes sense to be scared..
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *my gaze softens a little at your words, rubbing my thumb slowly over your cheek as i shake my head* you're not stupid, you're drunk... I.. look, i'm probably wau too late to be telling you this, but.. i never claimed to be smart either, you know? *gives your hand a gentle squeeze, exhaling softly* I caught feelings..
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ *forces a soft smile when you tilt my head up, before dropping the smile* I— *shakes my head lightly* I don’t think you realize how stupid I really am *my voice is weak* Cause I don’t think I do..
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ *listens to you carefully, giving your hands another little squeeze before one of mine moves to hold your cheek, tilting your head back up so i can look at you* i've missed you... so much more than you could possibly know.. i -- you know what i'm trying to say though?
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ I— *shakes my head* That’s not— I still like your presence…. And I’ve… *looks down as I can’t bring the words to come out of my mouth, taking a small breath to try and compose myself* i’ve missed you *whispers finally*
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ I know you do.. trust me, i know... *tries to hold your gaze but mine drops again, chewing softly at my lower lip, shaking my head a little* when you say it like that.. would you want me to go?
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ I— *sighs lightly, allowing you to take my hands, my gaze staring down at them* I’m sorry… I just.. assume the worst? *glances up lightly* I get scared and build walls up myself so.. i just, I dont, You.. * sighs, my words not forming right* It’s okay… and whatever you wanna do after this… is okay too?
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ stop-- that's... that' snot what i'm saying, channie.. i- - *turns to face you finally, reaching out to take hold of your hands, gripping onto them tight* whatever we have... had? i don't know where you're at.. whatever was happening between us made me feel things that i haven't felt in a while, and i ran
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ Its fine…*chews on my lip for a minute* If you don’t want to continue whatever this is, or you want me to back off, you know you can just say that. I don’t mind….. really
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ i know you are.. and that's not the probelm i-- *keeps my gaze off you, fiddling nervously with my fingers* I.. I ing panicked.. i'm so sorry
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ Ahh. *nods lightly* just take your time with it? You don’t have to be, I’m probably the least… caring? judgy? person?
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ I suppose I could just... get it out there. But.. its kind of-- *rubs the back of my neck* I'm embarrassed
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ I think I’m okay to talk but it’s totally up to you if you feel like you should right now? If that makes sense.
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ ...I do want to talk to you about it. That's why I reached out originally, but-- I dont know if it's a good idea while you're drunk? I suppose I don't really know what you're like drunk to judge
j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ 1 year ago
@k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ *nods a bit* that’s a very cliche route. Chews on my lip a bit, trying to think before I let anything blurt out of my mouth* is it.. I.. hmm *shakes head* I’m just gonna let you talk, if that’s what you wanna do cause I’ll just forever play the guessing game . *mumbles lightly*
k. taehyung ᵗᵃᵉᵛᵃⁿᵗᵉ 1 year ago
@j. chanwoo ʲᶜʰᵃⁿ_ʷᵒᵒ Its... i-- *hesitates for a few moments as I watch you carefully, looking down again after a moment* it's... cliche but it's not you.. it's definitely me

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