--psychiatrist

@[X] Yunho {Im still sick ; -; so if my reply doesn't make sense it's just all because im not thinking straight and i hate owing replies so yea ; -; *hugs you tightly*}

"i did quite a few years back...and i never went again i feel like it may be different too but i don't know..." Hakyeon said as he watched the taking out a notebook and a stack of files , wondering to himself whether the other had any nurse to help or not but from the looks of it. The answer would be a definite no , thinking that the doctor would be overwhelmed with the stress that he has to bear from all his patients. He was definitely going to be careful not to stuck another nerve from the doctor , it already scared him enough to even dare to say anything more than answering his questions even though he actually wanted to stay silent.

"r-really? it was a nice mood all around everyone was getting along well and i was all jumpy and hyper , someone merely commented about how i needed to talk slower or jumping around and i just snapped at him. At that point of time i was already very much restless and i couldn't sleep at all for the past few days before i snapped...it felt like i was 'high' for a long period of time that kind that probably would get when im drunk but i was very much sober. Sometimes after that i just felt as if cutting myself would be nice , in which i did though i promised everyone that i won't do it again and again. My mind can't process anything when i snapped i just feel like there is someone else inside controlling all that , after-effects i don't know...i felt normal but everyone else starts avoiding me as if i was some kind of virus." Hakyeon told the doctor everything , looking at him as he wondered to himself if he actually talked too much.

He sat there patiently while the doctor took down notes , he wanted to quickly get the mood stabilizers and sleeping pills. Hakyeon felt restless and all he wanted to do was to have a proper rest that he needed desperately , wanting to forget everything and putting 'hyde' to rest. Letting out a soft sigh as he fidget about while trying to find something that could entertain him for even a much appreciated short moment.

@[X] Yunho Changwook's emotionless expression never changed as he kept staring at the man in disinterest.He was known for his patience but the psychiatrist in front of him was testing it to no end.He could tell that for a psychiatrist the man was intelligent,the simple choice of his words,his weird behaviour and even his ability to try to deal with him was extraordinary.Normally he would end up finding with most of the doctors especially pathologists since he used to be an extreme nerd and even helped them form a diagnosis even though his degree was one of a surgeon.
"You should know better than using sarcasm to someone diagnosed with asperger syndrome."he stated casually in the same low cold tone,referring to his own disorder and lack of social and nonverbal communication skills like it was nothing important to him.

"Yes I am a education teacher,I dont see how appearance has anything to do with it."he said rolling his eyes in annoyance since he was pretty tired of getting that question.Did they all think that such kind of teachers were supposed to be more of a jokers or flirty because he was nothing like that.

"Who am I,who do I think I am,what's my purpose in life...seriously this is all you got?"Changwook couldnt hold back a sneer since the man was being unbelievably ridiculous to him asking him questions he heard in low rated movies.
"I'm anything but interested in spending the night with a man to JUST talk.Even more when the situation calls to talk about ME."he stated like a matter of fact while fixing his tie comfortably.He wasnt necessarily flirting with him but judging from the other's useless words he guessed he could put his mouth into much better use.He wouldn't turn an offer for ual release down since it had been long since he had last had and he was also aware of the results of it in his behaviour."I'm sure you can put your mouth into better use than merely talking.If not just prescribe me any insomnia pills and get it over with."he added and even though a normal person was supposed to sound flirty he was anything but it,his monotone voice sounding as awkward as ever but then again his disorder made him unaware of understanding awkwardness.

@[S] N [#busytbh ; u ; I'm so sorry for the slowness--- It'll be like that with me. Especially now that ALL of my charries are officially doing para/multi-para/novella 3rd POV orz]

He watched the other then with clearer eyes-- Or at least as clear as they could be in such a state, worn to the fringe already with the tumultuous thoughts waging a war in his head. He blinked once... twice... Breathed. Blinked again, but this time in time with his breathing. Calm down... Hitch back to reality. Come back. Yunho came back just in time to see the student nearly cowering in fear, curling in on himself only slightly-- his voice whittled down to a mere murmur like a pup that had been slapped. It gave him not feelings of regret, no urge to coddle... But he was curious... A bit disturbed that he'd caused this reaction without- for once- actually meaning to.

"You--- So you've got the greenlight from another psychiatrist, I suppose? I'm not certain when you were last evaluated, but I think... It'd be best if I reassess you. Ask a few questions and observe to see what it is you're talking about." He slipped a hand into his drawer, pulling out a notepad and a stack of files for entries of new patient information. In a normal hospice setting, this would be done in an official triage- perhaps by a cute, twenty-something year-old secretarial nurse. But for Yunho, it was only him. Only ever him... All of this- the paperwork, the medications, the students- it all rode on his shoulders. It'd never been a prospect that scared him but... he couldn't place why he felt so embittered by it.

"Sounds more like Dissociative Identity Disorder, kid," he commented aimlessly, scrawling down a few notes as he pulled up Hakyeon's basic file-- empty since he was now a new 'patient'. "But if that's what the doc before said you have, I'll give him this one... If it's bipolar, I need to classify it." There were types, each of which involved different ways of coping but... What could he even offer? If he truly knew how to cope with it, wouldn't he attempt those things himself--? Though BPD wasn't quite bipolar disorder, he liked to think they were sibling diseases. "I know... Not many recall what happens when they wake up so tell me... Tell me about the last time you 'snapped'. You don't have to remember what you did... Just what caused it. What'd you feel? Think? What were the after-effects? That sorta ."

@[T] Ji Changwook The air that harvested between the two of them prickled with every inhale, ice crystals practically blooming from the crooks of the man's elbows and smearing against the surface of Yunho's desk. The dude's tone could put the Ice Age to shame, but perhaps Yunho was just that far-gone. It seemed simple enough of a concept... How else could one freeze a heart that doesn't exist? "Wow, you're quite the jokester, aren't you? A true nonchalant, happy-go-lucky ne'er-do-well..." The sarcasm was made to rival the other's terseness, but it only cut the smirk on Yunho's face even deeper.

"Oh no, that's not at all what I'm saying... The medicines reap an effect regardless of your profession. But I find it hard to think that you didn't expect to lose some sleep in a class that focuses all about ." He's seen the 'benefits' the students certainly took from it. The occasional doze-offs in lectures, the inability to focus... When integrated itself too deeply, it was something near lethal. But then again, so was anything in large quantities... Which was why Yunho had to be excessively picky about whom it was he drugged up. "So--- Wait, are you telling me that you ARE a Ed teacher? Not that you don't fit the bill..." The man was rugged, even beneath the weight of those eye bags, the steel that lined his gaze was something any lesser being would quiver beneath in a mixed tinge of fear and anticipation.

But at the next words, Yunho couldn't help but tilt his head back to laugh-- open-mouthed and quaking, amusement brimming where his cheekbones met those smiling eyes. "I dare say, I think your lack of sleep is your body trying to escape from it's mind. A brute like you probably has nightmares about yourself." But slowly easing back to business- a chillier language that he was certain this man would better understand- he leaned forward, his arms folding on the small stack of paperwork strewn before him. "Who are you? Or at least, who do you THINK you are? I'm sure you're well aware that siphoning drugs out of this place isn't easy. I don't care for your schedule, we'll be here all night if I need that to evaluate you properly."

@[X] Yunho If it was anyone else they'd probbaly laugh or giggle at the man's joke but Changwook merely chuckled at his comment,glaring momentarily at him before putting on his sunglasses once again."I don't care if they're luggage,bags louis vuitton or gucci."He stated like a matter of fact in a cold rude tone while linking his arms in front of his chest in discomfort.He always knew psychiatrists went insane,the mind could only handle so much after being assoiciated on a daily basis with mentally ill people.But the man in front of him was the living proof of his thought.He seemed calm,too calm that it was weird and the way he spoke didn't remind a proffesional at all.He raised an eyebrow slowly at the sound of his voice,sure that he have heard it before.But he had nothing to do with psychiatry,there was no way he listened to any of his lectures even by mistake.

He rolled his eyes in annoyance when the man mentioned the class,figuring the students were naughtier in this one than all the other classes.Maybe he should have chosen the drug class or the one with the weapons and use some of them to threated their useless brains that were functioning wrong.He held onto that thought that was satisfying him more than it should."So you're telling me your medicine don't work on a teacher in Class?"He sighed in frustration at the man's words that weren't helping him at all.

"Look,I'm not here to have a chit chat with you.Maybe you’re so good at listening that you have no idea when to speak."He stated in a cold authorative tone,waiting patiently for the man to just write a prescription for him and get it over with.

@[X] Yunho {Im back to being bored again ; -; lemme rot in my corner , I don't usually owe replies unless im overseas or im busy with exams/projects}

Hakyeon flinched and shivered with fear upon hearing the other snapped at him , ranting out everything. Sure he didn't mind being the one to have to listen to the sudden outbrust of rants but having to be afraid of doctors for their sudden outburst , he squeeze his eyes shut instinctively as he let out soft whimpers. Pleading in his mind for it to stop , he regretted to have listened to his roommates , regretting that he himself was such a nice person to not want his roommates to be hurt. He was afraid since he had gotten a taste to what the doctor might do to him , there could be a different scenario all together with worse consequences.

Listening carefully to the silence before opening his eyes slowly , still traumatised by the rage from the doctor. Hakyeon sat uncomfortably on the chair , feeling as if he was bounded to the chair by his fear. Flinching and staying still when he heard the other's voice again , this time it wasn't like before. "I-I've taken them before last time before I entered this school to suppress my bipolar disorder as much as it can...I know about the side-effects of the mood stabilizers since I've experienced it before" He mumbled , looking down fidgeting in his seat trying to divert his attention.

Hakyeon flinched as he looked up , looking into the doctor's eyes that doesn't seemed to be focused on the counselling at that point of time. "Y-yes...what other ways are there to cope with it? It just so happens that my bipolar disorder strikes randomly , people partly keep a safe distance away when I told them about how there is 'a devil' living inside of me...and that im not actually a bad person since I don't remember anything after it happens..." he explained , not wanting to think about anything at that point of time.

@[S] N [I'm so sorry--- ; n ; I'm the worst person to wait for... Hella slow tbh orz]

He couldn't focus, couldn't lock onto any single thing without the humming in his ears resurfacing. The threads were tightening, stealing his breath as his fists clenched all the more. Butterfly wingbeats alight in his ears, rapid and evasive to his grasp as he tried to regain a hold of himself. "Aren't you all?" The words came out almost slurred then, a soft grin peeling past his lips to reveal mirthless humor... The lightning that predicted the delicate bout of almost thunderous chuckle that followed suit. "You-- All of you, you're here for the same things, aren't you? You string yourselves high to get away from reality, meet a pleasure you're not supposed to have. You--"

He paused mid-rant the moment he witnessed the boy, Hakyeon, ebb a bit into a state of desperation. The panic that laced his tone and the fatigue that cocked his shoulders was something that struck a cord in Yunho. Something so similar, a smell that was perhaps just vague enough to identify with something he knew so well... Yet the taste was off. Similar, so likened in a sense but... not quite. And a flatness settled in him just as easily as the initial sarcasm did.

"I need to know why you need them," he offered, running a hand through his hair as his vision began to defog. "I'm a psychiatrist, not a drug-dealer. If you're looking to get in on any meds with just a sad story as your credentials, you can go to the Drug Department for that." He'd heard the teacher there was far less lenient about it than he was, which was interesting enough. "Hakyeon, right?" he asked, straightening himself as best he can, though his eyes couldn't help but wonder- couldn't focus. "We need to talk about this first. Maybe there's another way of coping... Psych meds aren't the healthiest things to toy with..."

@[X] Yunho {*screams cuz i finally have something to reply to =3=* i was so god damn bored while waiting for other replies on here ; -;}

Hakyeon's thoughts were all around the place , trying to fight off 'hyde' that was itching to appear at that point. He was struggling to stand upright , wanting to bang his head on the wall to stop. Yes he was that desperate , he vision was slightly blurring but he was glad that he was permitted to enter. Snapping out of it as he enter the room , noticing his counselor sitting behind his desk. Hakyeon seemingly had a hidden sixth sense , thinking something was wrong with the aura around him. He was able to tell that the doctor had something troubling him somehow since he knew how to tell from the posture itself and his great fear only seem to 'enhanced' this ability. Walking towards the chair and taking a seat , he kept his guard up high while nervously playing with his bracelet.

"Im here to ask you for some medications to control my mood...i don't want to go much into the details and i don't require any talking for today..." Hakyeon mumbled timidly , making the decision of skipping the counseling part as for today. To be honest he wanted to run away at that point of time but his curiosity was killing him , he knew something was wrong and he wants to help if he could. In his mind it was all a mess , reasons were all seemingly to slap his face. Why should he help if he was so scared of doctors? Why must he even offer his help to the other? What if the doctor doesn't want any help?

His head was swarming with rhetorical questions , 'hyde' was struggling to break free and he himself was so helpless at that point of time. "p-please...give me some mood stabilizers...please..." he croaked out , clutching onto his head. Feeling the intense pain from the stress that he fed himself unnecessarily at that point of time.

@[T] Ji Changwook Slow... Today was... slow.

Considering his profession and why he was even there, Yunho figured he should be grateful to have a day where his students were mentally and emotionally capable of handling themselves... But then again, this was YUNHO, renowned as much for his sadistic tendencies as for his incompatibility with his job... And yet he still managed to be pretty damn good at it. Fluke? Happy incident? All were simply details...

Anyway, he was occupying his time as wisely as he could manage- practically recreating Rorschach's inkblot test on his Subway napkins- when he felt (more so than heard) the door open. Vibrations slammed all the way to the legs of his chair, but he didn't even offer a blink in the newcomer's direction. He heard the other speak to him, knew he could be addressing no one else but Yunho, yet onyx eyes still remained fixed on the patchwork ink stains along the skin-softened napkins. It was when the tiniest of tears formed from the wearing of his pen's tip that he finally shot out of his reverie, bidding the other- a teacher, it seemed- a disinterested gaze before lifting a brow at the scene presented to him.

"Wow so-- Look ol' chap, has anyone ever mentioned that you've got luggage under your eyes? They're not even 'bags' anymore at this point." Seriously, he could probably carry his whole life savings in those those things... Easing back in a more comfortable pose, he tilted his head to figure where he'd seen this man. "You're not a student I suppose? What department do you teach... And please don't tell me it's the ' Class' because-- hate to break it to you," a chuckle escaped smiling lips, "But I think you brought that on yourself."

@[S] N [*scREAMS CUZ JEKYLL AND HYYYYYYYYDEEALRJEAJLAUFLAJDSLFFAGASHD* ; u ; <3]

The ripples were maddening.

Quiet forces in multitudes that surged against him, hollowing him out with each pulsation... As finite and delicate as cobwebs were the very seams that held Yunho together, threads that wound against his neck like a noose now... And his fingers itched to curl around his Adam's apple, to pin him back to the present and force reality up his nostrils. To drown him. He needed to fix it--- Fix everything. Himself. He needed to get a ing grip, but the palms pressing into his back were so urgent and the whispers lulling into his ears refused to be ignored. Refused to be quelled... HE refused to be quelled. Honestly, he saw this coming... Every time a 'fit' was to occur, a particular level of unrest would spark in his belly. One that knocked against the frontal lobe of his head and forced him to blink back the tattered paranoia that streaked along his inner canvas. The hatred was the worst, specifically because he never knew to whom it was aimed at... His students? Himself? The tiny pinholes in his office wall from portraits long ago taken down? Portraits hung by other psychiatrists and other 'mind-pickers' who apparently couldn't make it much farther than he did...

But he had to swallow that, the vanity and the twisted desire to tear into everything, because someone was knocking at his door then... The delicate voice that followed only served to remind Yunho of his appointment-- some kid named 'Hakyeon' seeking to talk... But then again, that's what they ALL wanted from him... To talk... To let out their on someone who was paid to harvest those secrets. And usually he didn't mind... Usually...

"It's open."

He folded his arms along the veneer furnishing of his desk, fingernails burying crimson crescents into his palms against the warm off-white of his skin. He could do this. He could manage one last session for the day without ting up-- He just needed to keep calm. Fix things. Breathe... He needed to breathe.

@[X] Yunho Changwook was once again having a hard time dealing with his naughty students who didn't take his class for serious.He took a deep breath while rubbing his temples in patience,waiting for them to stop talking and giggling about instead of listening to his lecture.He cursed himself for paying those anger management classes since he already felt like punching the hell out of them one by one.
He still tried his best to calm down though,even if he had to use pills in order to do that.He gulped down the third lexotanil in 4 hours,before demanding fruitlessly for silence.In the end he gave up,he was never into shouting and demanding for uninterested people's attention.Walking out in a steady pace,he fixed his tie calmly even though his hands were shaking from all the built up frustration that he wished he was allowed to physically show to his useless students.His sleep paralysis didn't help at all,he was tired and exhausted more than usual while his eyes were all red and swollen since sleep left him days ago.Thankfully he wore his black sunglasses in class so no disturbing questions like why are you like a zombie were asked.
He had never visited any psychiatrists before since he was never fond of their job.But he didn't have another choice since if he wanted to have at least 4 undisturbed hours of sleep he had to try it out.
Without even bothering to knock on the psychiatrist's office he simply entered and sat on the chair in front of the man's desk."Sleep paralysis."He stated in a firm yet rude tone while taking off his sunglasses to emphasize his point,staring at the man with his red swollen sharp eyes while desperately waiting for a prescription that would make him rest for a while.

@[X] Yunho Having diagnosed with a case of bipolar disorder when he was a child , he had also have a series of mood swings and hurting his close ones or even himself sometimes. Being in his new school and sharing the room with his roommates was difficult for him since he wanted to live alone in case his disorder started working up , in which it did and it scared all his roommates. He explained about his disorder , naming his other self as 'hyde' and his normal self as 'jekyll'. It wasn't really in his control to which side of him is to take over whenever 'hyde' decides to have some fun , though he was in much better control compared to his past. Listening to the advice from his roommates , he decided to pay a visit to the psychiatrist to seek help and getting some mood control medications that hopefully can help him control 'hyde' better.
Hakyeon decided to go on to visit the school's psychiatrist as he diddidn't have any lesson on the day , giving him some free time to do anything he need. He was nervous of course as he was never fond of paying and doctors of all kinds a visit , he was afraid of what the doctor can do to him. Who knows if the other was a patient of a far more serious mental illness than what he has , arriving shortly after the walk from his dormitory dressed up casually in his over-sized sweater and skinny jeans. Hakyeon took a deep breath before , knocking on the door timidly before opening slightly "may I come in?" He asked , while waiting outside for the other's permission for him to enter the room.