Yongguk only realized Zelo was not on his bed when Jonggup pointed it out. "Huh..." He shrugged and wrapped an arm around Jongup. "I could just make something in the kitchen while the rest of you guys chat in the living room"
The younger one softly laughed before nodding. "Neh .. i'm a bit hungry too ... i'll ask Zelo too what he wants." He turned and saw Zelo's bed, vacant. "Hyung ... Zelo disappeared." He said, panicking about it.
Jongup blushed madly as he felt soft lips touched the top of his head. "Hyung ... " He whimpered, feeling a bit weak and soft. "T-thanks." He said still loss of words for the sudden kiss on his head.
Yongguk truly smiled. They were together again.. In a way. He ruffled the younger one's hair and kissed the top of his head. "I always will care about you.."
Zelo smiled secretly knowing that there wont be any awkwardness anymore and knowing that he was part of helping to make things better. Now the only question in his mind was, is Jongup and Yongguk going to be a couple? it would be so great if they did! well to his opinion. On the other note, he thinks his condition is getting worse... he couldnt sleep at all, not wanting to disturb the moment of his two hyungs he sneaked out of the room quietly and got to the living room.
Nodding, Jongup pulled away and smiled. "it's okay hyung, i never really thought that far yet, i'm cool with you knowing how i feel and at least i know that you're not disgusted by me." He let out a restraint laugh before nodding. "Thanks hyung ... for .. caring about me."
"I-I'm not really sure how I feel yet Jong..." He admitted while keeping Jongup in his arms. "I haven't considered relationships with anyone but I really think you're different." He let out a slow breath. His fingers traced different patterns on the younger's back. "I care about you more than the others but I still don't know if it's the same feeling as you feel about me." Yongguk wanted to be honest. He couldn't lie.
"Hyung everyone here loves you ... but i love you more than they do..." He confessed softly, as a red coat painted his tanned cheeks. He then buried his cheeks on the elder's chest.
"I didn't hate you.." He sniffed, letting the younger one wipe his tears. "I just didn't think someone would love me..." He felt like a child in Jongup's eyes. He felt embarrassed.
Nodding a bit, he brushed his tears away from his eyes. He raised his head and met eyes with him, with a smile on his face. "So hyung ... you don't hate me because i love you?"
Feeling Jongup's warmth and sincerity, Yongguk sobbed as he tried helplessly to dry his tears with his hands. For the first in years, he felt at ease. He no longer had to build walls. "Jongup.." He called his name like an anchor to his real self. This time he let someone protect and comfort him from the pain. He wrapped his arms around the younger.
Jongup was shocked to see that scar of his. He bit his lips harshly as he felt nervous because of it, is this the reason why his hyung couldn't accept him? He walked more towards him and traced the wound with his own thumb. He raised his head and stared at his hyung. "Hyung .." His voice became really soft. He walked away towards his thrown shirt and took it. He walked closed to Yongguk again and forced him to wear his own shirt. "HYung .. things like this should be buried in the past right?? .." He doesn't know what to say since he's not that good with words. but like what he said, action speaks louder than voice. He walked closely and hugged him tightly, his hands around the older male's waist and his cheeks buried on his cheeks. "Hyung .. you're not the old Yongguk anymore .. you're OUR Yongguk now .. the warm and caring Yongguk .. not the violent and stupid one." He whispered as soft tears flow from his own eyes.
Yongguk let his temper flare when Jongup accused him of lying. He ruffled his hair and stood. His feet moved and closed his distance with Jongup. His hands grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it up and threw the shirt across room. "Look at this!" He forced the younger one to look at his scar on his stomach. It was a long line about 4 inches. "When I was kicked out of my parents', I rebelled and got involved with the wrong crowd." His voice suddenly turned soft when he told a darker part of his life. "I thought I was invincible and used violence as an outlet to my anger. Due to my stupidity, I almost died with this stab wound." Tears started running down his eyes. "I'm not good. This is why." He felt dirty unlike Jongup who he sees as pure.
Jongup bit his lips harshly, he tried his best not to look at his hyung but after hearing his words he shot an angry glare at him something he don't normally do. "Hyung how can you say that you're not good? That you're not the right choice to love?" He clenched his fist and placed it on his chest. "Whenever you're near hyung i feel so warm and happy ... 4 .... I don't know why but hyung ever since i met you ... Something inside me changed ... i don't know what that is but it felt so nice" jongup was about to cry again, he turned around to hide his tears. "Hyung just don't lie to me... Just say that you hate me or you're disgusted by my confession ... Thats much acceptible than what you're saying nnmw
Zelo was asleep but his conscience was awake, secretly listening to his two hyungs converse about there problems. He knew it was wrong but, how can he stop?
"Hyung is... never the good choice to love." Yongguk told him. He didn't know how to say the right words. "I'm not good Jongup." He had always believed that since he had the scars to prove it. His eyes were directed to Jongup even though the younger refused to look at him. He held onto his bed trying not to do anything irrational like embracing Jongup that would later force him to push the younger away. He was indecisive but at least he wanted to explain some part of him so that Jongup would understand that it wasn't the younger one's fault but his alone.
He doesn't know what to do .. to laugh at zelo's statement or shiver because of his hyung calling him. "I remembered it junhong-ah .... I think" he said before heaving a heavy sigh and turning to yongguk. "Hyung ..." His voice fell he looked at everywhere just to avoid his hyung's eyes.
To be honest he didn't know where or how he learned those, it just came out. "i learned it from songs hyung... i forgot what it was though. i don't even know what i said."he confessed before closing his eyes. "anyways... i hope you remembered it, coz i didn't"
Yongguk moved until the light was able to give him away. He sighed and called out to his dongsaeng's name. Zelo was right. Avoidance until everything was back to normal might never happen and it might be too late when that happens. "Jongup" He called softly.
The one who was supposed to be older between them was there standing, currently admiring the beautiful speech that he just heard from him. He blinked before slowly nodding after his words finally seeped inside his brains. "Wow ... you're ... where did you learned that?? TV?" He asked before smiling. "sleep~" He mumbled before pulling away to lie on his bed.
Zelo sighed and rolled his eyes, "sometimes you just have to say what you feel for the other person to know how you feel, actions sometimes are misinterpret and they cause more trouble..." he explained, "..and don't wait till you're the 'old' Jongup again, you dont even know when you'll be that again and it might be the time when it's all too late."the younger prepared to rest again right after having the small nagging that he has never done before. He couldn't even remember all the things he said.
Jongup swayed his hand in front of him, completely disagreeing about that 'talk' plan. "Aniya ... i'll talk to hyung after i become the old Jongup again." He said while grinning. "Action speaks louder than voice Junhong-ah~ that's what TV taught me!" He said, a bit proud about it.
Yongguk groaned louder at how stupid he was. What was he to do? He panicked. He was used to be the hyung! The guy people depend on and not fall in love. Yongguk was the one left behind. He sat up and watched the two talked while hidden by the shadows of his bunk.
The heck. That's the first phrase that came into Zelo's mind after hearing the story, how can Yongguk just leave like that? he didn't know what to say now, he was too dazed, and he didn't know if it's because of the cold or the story that Jongup told him. "You need to talk to him again, maybe he had another explanation of why he left?"
