Serious 1v1 Roleplay Request (Not Romance/-centric)

Greetings!

This is a peculiar request, and it needs some backstory.

For starters, I've been roleplaying for 12 years. I was solo rping for years before I briefly crossed over to group rps on Roleplay Republic around 2015-2016. At the time, au rps were much more popular, with plenty of people going for original characters, merely using a faceclaim as a reference for their appearance. Sometime during 2018-2019 I had a break from slice of life rps and the general use of fcs, and instead focused on adventure, historical fiction, etc. Come August this year, and the yearning for a simpler, modern setting came back, and at the time I joined a MeWe rp for the first time. It was wonderful for about a month (and I actually really enjoyed the platform for roleplay), but sadly the rp ended up closing sometime during September. Since then I had been striving to find a group rp with the same welcoming and inclusive atmosphere, but to no avail; I feel like the facechasing, bubble rping and focus on romance is stronger than it has ever been, and finding anyone interested in genuine connections is damn near impossible.

So what's the point of this blog?

The point is that I've sort of given up by now. Au rps are vastly unpopular, and the ones that do open end up dying within the span of a few months, and even during the time that they're open, I can't seem to find any genuine connections. So I've decided to go back to 1v1 roleplaying, at least until something decent and inclusive pops up again, if it ever does.

If you've read this far, congratulations, the intro is over, and now is the time to introduce you to my character. For privacy reasons (as he is currently part of a group rp) I will only be disclosing his name and his fc via PM, if there is anyone potentially interested in writing with me, although be warned that while he has an Asian fc, he is not associated with the Korean entertainment industry. So no, there is zero chance of him being your favourite idol. Moreover, as I generally tend to view characters' faces as an added bonus, not mentioning my own character's fc right off the bat will hopefully weed out the facechasers among us. The rp will be taking place in Seoul, unless you'd like to write on past events that can either take place in Japan or the US.

For the sake of convenience, let's call him "Charlie" for now. So, Charlie is a very complex character that has been living in social isolation since the beginning of 2020. Due to a traumatic event that occurred in his life (or arguably a series of those), he is now terrified of building human connections, despite deeply craving them, and his life is an endless loop of work, sleep and drinking; Safe to say that at this point he is an actual alcoholic, albeit a high-functioning one, but he keeps his drinking habit concealed for the most part; It started as a means to combat his growing antisocial tendencies, since his anthropophobia only grew stronger the more isolated he became from society; He has a remarkably hard time carrying a conversation or even keeping eye contact with people when he is sober, so to be (mildly) intoxicated is the only way he can communicate nowadays. Besides an elderly man that was there for him during the hardest time of his life, he has no friends, and he mostly uses the internet as a means to satisfy his social needs (or at least to trick his brain into considering them satisfied). As for his family, he is mostly estranged with them as they've been living apart since he was 14 years old.

He is a living antithesis in many ways. While he will actively shy away from bonding with other humans, for fear of getting crushed again, he deeply craves love and companionship, and perpetual loneliness is a state of mind that he has grown accustomed to over the years. That being said, due to a series of past traumatic experiences that started while he was still a young child, he wholeheartedly believes that he is unworthy of love, and therefore will reject any advances (friendly and romantic alike) before there is a chance for him to be rejected first. I have to warn that his walls are nearly unbreachable, and trying to get closer to him can be frustrating with his constant deflection tactics. Regardless, he tends to overshare online, which he always ends up regretting. Additionally, with his avidly nocturnal lifestyle, keeping contact with people is extra difficult as he is always up when the rest of the world is sleeping, basically.

Due to being a dedicated homebody (at this point only going out for essentials, such as groceries, a caffeine fix, or the occasional walk) most of his time is spent working. He is a genuine workaholic who truly enjoys what he does, freelance, but again, his line of work will be discussed through PMs, as well as the skeletons associated with it.

I could go on and on, as he is a highly fleshed-out character, but I should hope that this is enough to cover his general basis. I have a full profile for him which I can provide the link to via PM, so you can get better insight into the complexity of his character and the skeletons of his past, which led to him becoming the way he is at this current point and time.

So what am I looking for exactly? Genuine connections, that's about it. Be it friendly or unfriendly, I'm just looking for characters that feel real, not surface-level, or the usual, cookie-cutter characters that au rps are swarmed with. I've had my fair share of them, and I know Charlie just can't vibe with this kind of people; Despite his secrecy and general obsession with privacy, he needs real people surrounding him. The psswrd is your favourite fruit. Patience, both IC and OOC is a must, as he is a remarkably difficult person to crack, and I won't even mention romance here, because I'm not sure if he'd ever give in to that again. So, if you're looking for senseless and quick romance, this plot call is 100% not for you.

Going 1v1 again honestly indicates desperation from my end, I won't lie. I am extremely attached to this character, and I feel like he's rarely ever given a chance to unfold himself, so I am honestly hoping this will work eventually. If you feel like you might be able to write with such a difficult and detached character, please, do not hesitate to reach out. You don't need to have a profile for your own, but a general summary of who your character is would be appreciated if shared via PM and, as I mentioned, I am more than willing to provide his profile, too. It's thorough and offers an internal glimpse to the essence of his soul. Deep down he has a remarkably kind and gentle soul, and though he's been through a lot of in his life and, fair enough, has also done some questionable things during his downwards spiral, he has a heart of gold. It goes without saying gender, race, nationality and age don't matter to me, as long as your character is at least 18 internationally, though I would prefer older characters, to be honest. Charlie is in his very late 20s.

Obviously there will be mentions of adult topics, such as alcohol or past/current substance abuse (he is not a junkie though, I promise, just a good applicant for AA meetings), psychological trauma and issues, and his internal monologue is rarely ever a kind one, as it tends to be with people that suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. He is really unkind to himself, and you should be aware of that, although rarely ever outwardly so. One last thing: He is allergic to attention (of any sort) and sympathy, which is why he prefers to keep his mental struggles to himself, or at least to downplay and joke about them, if ever confronted about his mental state.

As you can tell, I tend to blabber, both OOC, and in my writing, too. For the technical stuff, I am GMT+2, strictly write in 3rd pov, present or past tense, multi-para to novella if I am inspired enough. Charlie is not a very talkative man, unless he is drunk or feeling comfortable, but the internal monologue is constant and usually takes up large chunks of the replies. The most important thing to me, and I cannot stress this enough, is realism. I would also like to point out that I never force chemistry, so if something works, it works, and if it fails, it fails. That's about it. Also, I never, ever mix IC with OOC, so please, don't even consider it; The words and actions of my characters do not represent me, and I will not have anyone get mad at me for what Charlie does. I have real OOC problems to deal with, I'm not going to have fights over fictional characters, believe me.

Lastly, I have an old MeWe account for him that I would be more than willing to use for IC DMs, or even my KakaoTalk account. Since he relies on the internet a lot for his social needs, online interactions would be very much appreciated, too. Memes are the way he expresses himself, more often than not.

I think that's it for now. I am crossing my fingers and hoping for the best, as retiring this character would take away a part of my soul, I won't lie. To ensure the plot call has been thoroughly read, I left a password somewhere in there. Please, provide it via PM as well, and if you've read so far, you are the real deal!

Have a wonderful day ahead!