I Hate This

I took a deep breath before writing this but it still didn't help.

I am honestly really depressed about this site anymore and the people who are on it. Things are not at all how I remember them, how wonderful it was when I first joined the site on my original account. It's like the fun is gone and things are no longer about writing, creating good stories with interesting characters, or just making friends with similar interests. I feel like it has becomes more about OTPs and , pretty much exclusively. 

Gone are the days when I felt like pretty much anything could happen. I don't have that excitement or love feeling come over me when I log in anymore. There is almost always an unwanted drama, either ic or ooc that makes me flat out avoid this place. I want that old feeling back.

I logged in today with a heavy and yet hopeful heart, trying to do my best for my rp only to feel like I got slapped in the face. I work so hard for that rp, spend hours upon hours of time on it and it is not really rewarding me back. I thought that if I put in the effort, really showed that I cared, that I would get people who respected and enjoyed it as much as me. Because I make one comment about myself being sick of several characters just up and leave. I did not say that they couldn't do it or that I was judging them, hell it was said ooc and privately but yet they left. They were welcome to stay and do their thing but I am allowed to say that I am tired of constantly seeing something. 

Now I just feel like crying because no matter what I do it feels like it is in vain. I go out of my way to try and build something beautiful for everyone and still I cannot enjoy it. Everything I try to do just makes it worse and I feel like I am drowning. I think it might be time to say goodbye to this site and rping forever. Something that I love shouldn't make me cry this much.