campus lake 。

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ taekwoon /when you come into the bathroom, i dont flinch, not even looking up when i hear you curse or call my name, nor do i really recognize when you change the water
/instead when your arms come around me and you draw me close, thats when i seem to come back to you, hesitant at first while i tuck myself against you
he was going to hurt you...
i couldnt... i-i couldnt...
/stumbling over my words, its me trying to come up with an excuse, having already written myself off as a murderer, as someone who was going to end up in jail for life
/lifting my head, i look to you with wide, red-rimmed eyes, the realization that this time, we've gone to the police rather than let everything sit and boil within us, hitting me hard
i... i-i didnt mean to...
/the words leave me in a soft whisper before you're insisting that im not a murderer, and though i nod its the only way i feel right now, the weight heavy in my chest
/but then you ask me to say it, that im not the very thing i truly believe i am, and i have to pause, biting down on my lower lip before taking a slow, deep breath
im... i not a murderer.
/its a whisper, but i still do as you say, nodding a little while my fingers reach out to hold onto you, drawing you close again, thumping against you and clinging to you
i-im scared, taek...

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ hakyeon /after seeing you go off i finally turn back to the bodies, knowing i need to work quickly otherwise the other students are going to wake up soon and panic when they see what happened
/standing near the body i end up phoning the authorities and alerting them of what has happened, part of me guilty for the questioning that i know is going to have to happen with us both, but i need that instead of lying
/i know if you were here and thinking straight you might tell me no if only because you're selfless and worried about my career ending for this, but i know i'd throw it away to protect you
/when they have the details about where to show up, i tell the woman on the line i'm going to check on you but i'll talk to the authorities when they show up and she promises to let them know what state you're in
/as i'm running to the frat house i can't help but feel this is something i should have done years ago, something i should have found the courage to do to protect you
/following the sound of the shower i step into the bathroom and see you going catatonic under the water, calling your name softly as i move over
-
/recoils when i feel how hot the water is, especially when i've been outside in the cold by the lake, cooling the water with a turn of the tap before i fall to my knees in front of you
hakyeon-
its okay... its okay, the blood is gone
/whispers softly as i wrap my arms around you, hugging you to me gently and laying my head against your own, biting back a sob for the guilt building up inside of me
i'm sorry. i'm so sorry you had to do that...
everything is going to be alright. i-
... i told the police this time, hakyeon
they're coming to deal with the body. they'll ask us questions but it'll be okay. it was self-defense
/cups your face as i lean back, making you look at me as i know its only a matter of moments before the authorities are here, separating us and asking what happened
don't you forget it, alright?
you're not a murderer... you're not
say it. i need to hear you say it

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ taekwoon t-taekwoon...
/my hands are trembling, almost shaking violently as i look between you and my hands, hands that are stained red with blood while i look with wide eyes
t-taek i...
i-i k..
/unable to finish that word, let alone barely start it, my eyes dart to the figure on the ground that doesn't move, doesn't breathe, and most certainly doesnt look alive anymore
/having to take in a deep breath, my gaze snaps back to you when you call for me the way you do, everything in me wanting to run and hurl but i dont and instead just look at you, nodding slowly
o-okay.
i'll... y-yeah.
/just barely whispering, i nod a little as you come to pull me up to my feet, and with stumbling steps i head toward the lake to drop down and plunge my hands into the water, shivering from how cold it feels
/even then my hands dont seem to lose the color of blood, whether its because of my own internal feelings or because its actually there, and for a moment i reflect on a play we had once seen together, the woman going mad over the sight of blood on her hands that just wouldn't leave
/a short, panicked laugh leaves my lips before i look back to you, then stumble off toward our dorms, not talking to anyone as you said, but instead of going to our room i slip into the shower, stripping myself of my clothes and tossing them aside
/the water is burning hot, as hot as i can stand and then some, while i try to scrub my body clean, trembling and shaking and at some point crying, but i dont even remember that, and at some point i end up on the floor of the shower, sitting in scalding water, trying to clean my hands of blood
/my skin isnt just the beautiful tan anymore, but a hint of pink from just how hot the water is and how much i've been scrubbing, but at this point i cant tell how long i've been in the shower or how long it's been since i've seen you

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ hakyeon its me. its me, hakyeon. its over now
/continues on when you seem to be coming back to reality and myself, nodding my head gently at you before i see the gravity of the situation is now just sinking in for you, for what you've done
hakyeon-
/seeing you stumble back and try desperately to wipe the stains off of your hands has me shaking my head, inching closer to you as i take hold of your wrists in some attempts to make you listen
it was self-defense
he was attacking us. they all were
he was going to-
to-
/i can't bring myself to say what he was going to be but its obvious at the same time, so much so it makes me shiver just thinking about what the hell could have happened to me if you weren't there too
look at me. look at me, hyung
/squeezes your wrists tightly before i speak up between gritted teeth, eyes narrowed as i do so, refusing to lose you over you having saved me of all people
if you hadn't stopped him you know what he would have done
i'm going to clean this up and you're going to wash and go wait for me in our room. hear me?
do you hear me?
/releasing your hands i shake your shoulders this time, pulling you to stand up with me before i turn you around, nudging you in the direction of our frat dorm
wash your hands in the lake and go. don't look back, don't speak to anyone
just go
/i wait there and watch you to make sure you'll do as i told you, needing you to get it together before i have to deal with this body, do i tell the police as it was self-defense, or do i hide?

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ taekwoon /while im lost in my thoughts, in memories of a past i've been so scared of for the past few years, i dont notice you while you lay in the grass and are finally free from the assailants
/instead, my only real thought is on protecting you, keeping you safe, and it doesnt dawn on me that no matter what i would do, right now the things i want to do are enhanced by these feelings in me
/i dont hear you call for me, my hands tightening around a throat that no longer takes a breath while i straddle a body that is no longer struggling, but its not registering in my mind, not yet
/my teeth are clenched, blood dribbling from the corner of my mouth, my lip busted and a bruise already forming on my face, and even when your hand comes to my shoulder and blood from the guy's throat falls over my hands
/when you call for me again, your hands coming over my own, its only then that i realize what i've done, what's happened, and the hot tears that flow down my cheeks as i slowly drag my gaze from the limp body to your face
t-taekwoon...
/my voice is a raspy whisper, the adrenaline no longer keeping me going, my hand throbbing so badly and my entire head in pain from the various injuries, but when i look to you i feel the weight of the situation sink in
i-i.. i didn't... i-i didn't mean to...
i d-didn't... i wasn't... h-he...
/fumbling for words, my eyes go wide, and i struggle to get off of his body, pulling away from you in the process as i fall back on the grass, looking down to my hands while they're covered with blood, but definitely not my blood
/then i begin to panic, a sob rising up in my throat while i try to wipe my hands off on my pants, smearing blood on the fabric before i frantically try and use my nails to scrape the blood off
i-i didn't -- m-mean to
o-oh god...

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ hakyeon /the jostling of one body being forced off of me has me snapping back to my senses, perhaps this isn't it, it isn't the end, and as the second assailant is wrenched off of me i realise it genuinely isn't
/rolling over onto my side i see you scrapping with the guy who was just on me, my fingers curling into my clothing and tugging the pieces back into place
/only after blinking several times does my vision begin to clear up enough for me to realise what you're doing, my eyes widening as i see the man go limp just in time, but you don't stop, you don't even seem to realise what you've done
hak-
/calls quietly, quieter than a mouse before i move forward, shaking my head softly as i put a hand on your shoulder but it doesn't even make you look my way
hakyeon-
/sliding my hands over your own around his neck i'm kneeling just above his head, the both of us looking as if we were choking him on the outside, but i'm just trying to get you to let go, to look at me
enough. stop it-
he's dead
/the words ring out loudly but quietly at the same time, perhaps its just loud in our own little bubble, frost on my breath as i'm bleeding, bruised and panting for you to stop
/a droplet of blood falls from my chin, landing against the corpse's cheek and looking a lot like a far too ironic tear as it slides down to the dewy grass
no more...
/lifting my hands away i'm sure you've crushed his throat in to the point you can see his larynx and trachea sticking out at the sides, though i don't want to look to confirm my suspicions either
/still gazing at your face i silently plead for you to look at me, to come back to me for i haven't even noticed the tears running down my own cheeks at this point
hakyeon please...
come back to me

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ taekwoon /that's all it takes, seeing you being dragged away from me, seeing you held back and away from me, and not long after the kick to your face being enough to send me over the edge
let.. me... go!
/struggling against the person holding me, i dont take note of what i hit or how hard i hit, but as i feel an arm come around my chest i shift and bite down on that arm, and hard, almost certain i taste copper when i pull away
/the guy holding me yells in pain, releasing me and stumbling back, holding his arm while cursing me left and right, but my focus isn't on him anymore but on you, on getting to you
/my bag is forgotten, having fallen off amidst the scuffle, and so its easier to move when another comes toward me, likely with the hopes of getting me out of the way, but i quickly avoid him
taek-- im coming--
/just as i speak, i get a hard punch to the gut, the wind completely knocked out of me for a moment while i'm seeing stars and struggling to right myself, stumbling a few steps
/this time, the guy is met with my fist to his face, and i feel my knuckles scream out in pain when i make contact, but he goes down with just one blow and the adrenaline carries me
/i've never felt this way before, not as vicious, and so when i stumble forward, using enough body strength to push one of the last two guys as hard as i can, sending him tumbling down the short hill and into the water, and im glad i caught him when he was off balance
you bastard.
/once im facing the last person, i know im in for it, feeling much more slow after a couple of hits and a throbbing in my fist and stomach, but it doesnt stop me while i stand there
/though i take a few hits, a hard one to my face that i swear nearly knocks me out, by some miracle i end up on top of the guy, straddling him and managing to keep him pinned and away from you, giving you time to get up and leave because only god knows why you wouldnt
/in the midst of the scuffle, im brought back to that night, the night all i could do to save you was drag you away, pull you from the fire and in the end that wasnt enough
/hot tears sting my eyes and its like time has passed when i really finally come back to reality, and at some point my hands had gotten around the guy's throat, and i was squeezing so hard that now i could feel the throbbing in my hand, it already turning black and blue and swelling
/he's not struggling anymore, though, but my brain cant make that connection, some part of it still lost in the past, only thinking of saving you but not even thinking to check on you now that most of the trouble is done and over with

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ hakyeon i'll be fine
/tries to reassure you as we're running for what feels like our lives for the second time, no one should ever feel it the first but here we are
/as we duck down and find somewhere to hide i try to calm my breathing as to not make so much noise, but its hard when there's pain and adrenaline running through my veins
those s kick pretty hard
/mutters as you begin to frame my face in your hands, only to see you dragged back and i shake my head, stumbling forward in an attempt to get hold of you
hakyeon-
/calls your name but i'm dragged back as well, thrashing around as i'm trying to use what self-defense i've learned over the years but i'm not in control, not focused when i'm freaking out over them taking you from me too
stop it, leave him-
/the words are cut short from my mouth when i'm kicked across the face, sending me sprawling on my hands and knees not far from in front of you
/blood trickles out my mouth as i push myself up to my hands and knees, groaning as my head is yanked back by a hand in my hair, eyes catching your own and there's so many tears collected there as i mouth the word 'go' to you
"even with his face kicked in, he's still pretty"
"shouldn't let him go to waste like last time"
/there's a collection of laughter and i'm shaking my head, shoving the hand at my hair but it just worsens the harsh grip, pulling my back, dragging me back as one of the others helps pin me, a boot at my back, pressing me down whilst hands grapple at my clothing
stop it-
s-stop!
/cries out, screaming for help even and forcing my voice as loud as it will go but it just earns another boot to my face, groaning as i feel close to passing out no doubt with concussion
/the cold air hitting my bare skin stings me back awake though, pulling and shuffling, wanting to be free but nothing seems to be working, my last hoping being you just don't have to see as i whisper your name once more
hakyeon...

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ taekwoon /by the time im running through the grass, looking for you, for any sign of you, there's genuine panic running through my veins while i hear the men behind me taunting and teasing
/im running out of steam, my lungs aching and my legs throbbing with pain, but just when im sure im going to give up and give in, i see you struggling with others, men i dont recognize but then again how could i recognize some of them, if it's the same from when we were freshmen then they've all grown and changed, likely
taekwoon--
/running the last bit to you, i nearly trip over myself before i call out for you, finally reaching you and my hands grasping at whatever i can reach, feeling pain and guilt for not having been here for you in time to help
are you oka--
/before i can finish my sentence, likely the question not even heard while im left panting and struggling for air, you're dragging me away and toward the treeline, and i glance over my shoulder to see them following us
they're coming
oh god, they're coming, --
/the true panic is evident in my hushed whisper to you, the swear that leaves my lips, and when we finally find somewhere to crouch and hide, i try to look over you, to take in just what had happened to you
/as my hands hold your face, though, and i look over your features, i feel a sudden tug on the strap to my bag, and my hands are left grasping at air, reaching for you as im dragged back, the men having found us
"aw, look at them"
"looks like we really caught a couple of gays"
"lets see which one breaks first"
/though im being held back, made to watch as the others go for you and drag you from the hiding spot, my legs are kicking and my body twisting this way and that, trying to wrench free to get to you, to help you
dont touch him!
/there's a certain ferocity in my tone, venom in my words and as i lash out with my legs and arms, the feelings that rise up in me are darker, more intense than i've ever felt them, a fierce sense protection and pure anger bubbling to the surface
let me go-- taek--

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ hakyeon /with halloween having rolled around around quicker than expected i find myself more drawn to the tree than normal, always feeling a certain pull when the colder months roll around
/having told you at lunch where i'd be come the evening, by the lake and the tree with it, i figured i'd just catch up with you later, or you'd be waiting for me by the doors like you sometimes do
/being out by the lake i'm not immediately aware of anything going on out of the ordinary, sitting on the stone bench near the fringe of the lake, i have my hands in my winter coat pockets, frost on my breath as the moonlight illuminates the surrounding area
/more than once you've told me i look like a ghost sitting as still as i do and if it weren't for the frost on my breath you'd think i'd really left you and passed, the thought making me smile
/glancing over my shoulder up at the school my smile fades when i see the lights are out, frowning as i wonder if there's a power shortage or something, though it seems not all of the campus is plunged into darkness, just our frat side
/immediately i sit up and turn around to look properly at the building, even some of the lights outside flickering before turning off
/darkness consumes the field and again, i rely on the moonlight to see properly, though i see a couple of figures baring down on me, heading for the lake and flashlights whizzing around
what the hell?
/mutters before i begin stepping back towards the line of trees, turning into a jog as i hurriedly begin climbing one, panting with fear now as i feel like i'm being hunted just on that night years ago
/peering down among the branches i'm blinded suddenly with a flashlight in my face, something else, a hand, yanking at the end of my jacket and pulling me from the tree, landing on my back among the fallen leaves
"looks like we found a good one. wonder if he'll squeal"
"nah, he'll probably like it"
/groaning as i roll over onto my side, my ears ringing when i landed on the floor, i push myself up and stumble slightly but make it to my hands and knees, crawling away from them but they laugh and kick at me
/still i drag myself along, fingers curling into cold blades of grass, ripping under desperate clutches before i manage to push myself up to my feet this time, half running towards the school knowing i need to find you
/grunts when i'm tripped and land at the edge of the lake, face pushed down into the dirt as plumes of frost leave my lips, fighting back as i claw and kick, though it only earns me harder shoves
"lets put him in the lake"
"yeah. see if the freak can sink or swim"
/uncaring for my own demise i just need to know you're okay, lifted onto my feet by the two guys and i think i see a glimpse of you for a moment, its enough to make me fight back, elbowing one of them in the face and kicking the other as i sprint as best i can over to you, seeing more men behind you
hakyeon-
h-hakyeon
/cries, blubbering almost when my hands slip into your own, seeing you're okay whilst i'm looking a little worse for ware, clinging onto your hands as i tug you along, running for the treeline again as i figure its our best chance of hiding

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ taekwoon /something about the night had felt all too familiar, a throwback to years and years ago, but nothing good about it, and it made my heart race
/it was when the power went out in the building that i officially felt the anxiety kick in, as if i was a freshman all over again, the memories coming back all at once
/the scar on my thigh begins to burn, the searing pain serving as a reminder of just what is going to happen, or at least what i tell myself is going to happen
/its pitch black inside the building but i force myself to shakily gather my things, having been studying in peace and quiet before everything got dark
/while fighting back the tightness in my chest, i manage to walk into a couple of tables, smacking my thighs and shins on hard surfaces and trying not to yelp in pain, not when i know it's better to stay silent in times like these
/stepping out into a hallway, i glance left and right, looking for the glowing sign of the exit before slowly making my way there, doing everything i can to stay silent
...
/mumbling a soft curse under my breath, one so unlike me that i lift my hand to clamp over my mouth, i notice the shining beams coming from flashlights down the hall, and i turn away from them, hoping to slip away unnoticed
"hey, there's someone down there. let's get him!"
/those words propel my feet, and i run down the hall with as much speed as i can muster, my shoes slapping on the floor before i throw myself at the door and stumble outside, gasping for breath that i didnt realize i had been holding
/while im unaware that it's all a prank, a prank by some nutcases who think that these kinds of things are funny when there are already the horrors of frats, fear strikes me in every which way
/standing on the cement just outside the door, my fingers curl around the strap of my bag, my mind racing as i try to remember where you had said you were going to be today, my only thought to find you and get to you
taekwoon...
/your name leaves my lips in a soft whisper, but not before i hear the slapping of other feet just behind me, the heavy metal door of the exit swinging open being my cue to take off again
/soon im running in the grass, tears stinging my eyes though they dont fall, not yet, not when i need to find you and make sure you're okay, even with the guys tailing behind me

@ΣΥΤ ³ junseong *feels relieved and happy as you smile*
I'm sure they'll keep it for you, hyung.
*smiles softly and shakes my head*
No worries. It's okay. If I saw my little brother being talked to behind his back like that as well, I'd be mad, not to that extent, but still. So don't apologize.
*smiles softly yet again and lets you lead me back*

@ΣΥΤ ¹ jeno Ⓟ *finally cracks a bit of a smile at the peck*
*blows out smoke and nods*
Yeah. I left my phone there anyways.
*clears throat*
I'm um... sorry if I scared you...
*takes you arm and starts heading back*

@ΣΥΤ ³ junseong I promise, hyung. Thank you so much!
*reaches up and pecks your cheek*
Anyway, after your smoke, hyung, can we now go back to the common room?

@ΣΥΤ ¹ jeno Ⓟ ughhh.
That's such a long route...
*goes to check my phone and realizes it's gone*
Fine. You have two days to take care of this...
If not... I will.
*lights a cigarette*

@ΣΥΤ ³ junseong In this world, hyung, nothing is fair, and one thing I can be so sure of, he may be all smart and y in dance, but in reality he is dumb. He gets elated quickly that he forgets about everything else, so it will be easy.
*smiles a bit*
He won't be able to harass us. My goal is with the evidence, ban him from any school so that his dirty tactics stop once and for all. If he's beaten up then he recovers, how sure are we that he will not apply in another school and do the same thing? I want to bring light into this and have him banned forever, hyung. We can do this. Trust us, please?

@ΣΥΤ ¹ jeno Ⓟ What if he catches you though?
What if the cops don't wanna listen? They're corrupt as , you know.
*sighs and runs a hand down my face*
Am I really supposed to sit by and do nothing while he harrasses all of you...
*looks down at you, conflicted*

@ΣΥΤ ³ junseong I know, it's not, but for once, I want to tackle something on my own, hyung.
*wraps my arms around your waist as I rest my cheek against your chest*
If I can't handle it, then you'll hear from me, from us. I promise.
*looks up at you*
Just this once, hyung, let me handle this, hmm? Please? And besides, I am not alone, Byeongkwan and Hwanwoo will help as well. We will take that professor down.
*looks in your eyes as mine reflects determination to execute my plan*

@ΣΥΤ ¹ jeno Ⓟ That's not a small problem though...
That's ual harassment. and it's serious.
*sighs and wraps my arms around you*
It'd stress me out more for you to have to go through things like this alone.
Jeno, I deal with s and s on the regular...
I'm in the ing mafia.

@ΣΥΤ ³ junseong I didn't because I don't want people to think that I'm always running to you even for the smallest of problems. I don't want them to think that I'm too dependent on you when I'm trying my best to also back myself up. . . and I just don't want you stressing over my problems or whatever it is that I face, though do not get me wrong, hyung. . .
*holds your hand back*
I'm really really grateful and forever thankful that I have such a great and protective hyung like you. I really am. You just have no idea how comforted I am whenever you are around, I can't imagine life without you now.
*smiles softly*

@ΣΥΤ ¹ jeno Ⓟ *shakes my head*
No, no...
you shoulda told me sooner, Jen...
*places my hands over yours*

@ΣΥΤ ³ junseong Because I brought everything up. I shouldn't have. I don't want you so stressed and mad about something that I should be able to take care of. I'm sorry. . .
*keeps my head hung low in between my shoulders as I fiddle with my fingers*

@ΣΥΤ ¹ jeno Ⓟ *lets out a shaky sigh*
For what?
You didn't do anything wrong...

@ΣΥΤ ³ junseong *takes you here to have you calm down and just be clear from the negative energy from the common area*
Hyung, I'm sorry. . .

[post deleted by owner]

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ taekwoon hm, i wasn’t aware that there was a party yesterday— i don’t know man, doesn’t sound like you have it all that bad. you’re just being negative.
/jokes and gives a small shrug of my shoulders, glancing back towards you when you speak next, answering my question in such a way that it draws a chuckle to leave my lips.
hey, i’m just satisfied being called an “artist”, i don’t care about anything else besides that.
/hums, making a vague gesture with my hand, playful glint within my eyes as i turn my attention back to the tree when you offer a more sincere answer to my question.
i figured as much. hey, do you want a digital art or something else? i could do anything from kohl to watercolors as well, honestly. it’s a chance to improve, no?
/giving the sketch one more critical overlook, making sure that i didn’t miss anything major, before i close it and drops it back into the bag before shrugging it back on and steps over to you.
fresh air is extremely overrated, also it’s ing cold outside and i did not bring a jacket.
/i pull a face, quickly nodding my head.
let’s grab a drink, and something to eat. i think— yeah, i didn’t eat yet today? let’s go to the café.
/throwing a last glance towards the tree before i start down the path again, hiding my hands away in the pockets as i walk kind of quickly, obviously wanting to get there as soon as possible given the fact that it’s only getting colder the more time we spend outside.
/that and i thoroughly do not enjoy being out

@ΔΧΛ ³ baekhyun drank too much last night, been nursing a headache for the better part of the day, schedules and now i'm out here traipsing around in the dark to see a tree
/when i describe my day like that i can't help but laugh under my breath, keeping quiet as you continue to sketch out the tree in front of you
/rubbing my palms over my arms i try to warm myself up even more, listening for the sounds of the others out and about lest any come near
/looks back at you when i see your smile, tilting my head slightly before i return one of my own but its gone when i'm speaking
no i have a pension for making artists draw random trees
/says with an entirely serious look on my face, laughing softly under my breath before i straighten myself up and stuff my hands into my pocket
it isn't ordinary, no
far from it...
/looks at it wistfully before i take a few steps back, nodding for you to come and join me as i rock back and forth on me heels lightly
keep an eye out for it in spring and then when summer comes around you'll have to see it for yourself
get a bit more of that fresh air you mentioned
/i'm at a standstill, struggling to figure out how else i'm supposed to describe it for you, how much to say, though it makes me sigh under my breath
its a little cold, isn't it?
why don't we go get something warm to drink?

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ taekwoon /notices you flinch but doesn't comment on it, rather guesses that i managed to startle you despite my efforts not to.
and what is the usual for a senior? i wouldn't know— since i'm not one
/there's a playful smile on my lips then, i inhale the fresh air of autumn before i begin to answer.
i'm alright. haven't been outside in a while so it's pretty nice to get some of that fresh air people keep talking about. i think i quite needed it
/it's not hard to figure out that this place, and tree in particular, keeps a story hidden that i know nothing about and i'm not sure how to dance around the topic but finds it inappropriate to ask, so i just nod and steps closer.
/once we're stood closer in front of the tree i slip my backpack off to retrieve my sketch pad and the most suitable pencil.
/steps around for a bit before finding the angle that's the most charming and begins to gently draw the shape of the tree, not focusing on any details whatsoever but rather the general lines.
it is pretty in a way, almost a little magical, no? i generally think that trees make for great artwork, there's a lot of symbolism that you could focus on as well if you wanted to
/there's a small smile on my lips as i shift my attention back and forth from the pad and the actual tree, making sure that i capture its quirks and uniqueness.
/hums softly and wiggles my fingers a bit as the cold latches on, but i smile towards you nevertheless, tugging my sleeves down slightly to cover my hands a bit.
i'm guessing— this is not just some ordinary tree, right?

@ΔΧΛ ³ baekhyun /the sound of another pair of footsteps striding across the dewy grass has one of the various voices inside my head whispering that i'm not alone
/for a moment i'm back in that single night, flinching when you come up beside me like i expect you to harm me but you don't of course and i sigh under my breath, seeing you instead of those men
evening
/greets you quietly, gathering myself a little more before i merely shrug when you ask how i've been, doubting very much you're interested in the real answer
the usual for a senior. what about yourself?
/asks as i see you looking at the tree and i turn back towards it again, smiling a little bitterly as its the fourth anniversary since that night, the pain should be gone, the memory, the screams - but its all still so painfully fresh
/my original intent is to stay here and not take you closer but when i hear others on the green and its harder to see them in the darkness, i don't feel as safe so figure its time to bite the bullet
come, i'll take you closer
/i genuinely want you to see it up close too, though its a big leap for me since it means so much i doubt you'll hurt me intentionally when dealing with it
/as we near it i brush my fingers over the trunk, smooth and rough at the same time, grazing over it and the knots it has, not perfect but it is in its own way
/the orange and red leaves that were once clinging to the branches are now on the floor at our feet, myself crouching down as i let you examine the tree, my arms folded over the tops of my knees as i gaze at the colours under the diminishing light
what do you think? pretty right?
/glances up from my position, looking over to you with a genuine look of curiosity, my fingers drumming over my knees to try and keep them warm in the increasingly biting cold, evening air

@ΝΓΤ ⁴ taekwoon /as the day transitions into evening i get ready to meet you as previously promised when you texted earlier about wanting to meet up on the campus grounds, i take some time to stuff a couple of things into my bag, bringing my trusty sketch pad and a couple of my favorite pens, since you talked about showing me that one tree.
/after slipping a soft and somewhat warmer hoodie on i throw the bag over my shoulder and emerges from my room and heads out of the frat building, making my way towards the designated location.
/it’s chillier outside than first estimated, and since i’ve been staying huddled up inside for the majority of the past couple of days autumn had swept in and taken over without my knowledge.
/i sigh and slip the hood up to cover the pale locks of my hair, providing some warmth as i glance around, somewhat enjoying the crunch of the ground underneath my old sneakers, diving my hands deep into the fronts of my pockets.
/perhaps if i would venture outside more frequently i would have already attempted to draw the magnificent scenery now appearing before my eyes, autumn doing it’s work of painting everything in all of my favorite colors and hues, a small smile tugging on my lips as i take it all in.
/i spot you up ahead and speeds up a little as to not letting you wait for too long, you seem lost in thought and perhaps that’s why i make sure that my arrival is heard, not wanting to startle you as i close up by your side.
hey, taekwoon— how you’ve been?
/i offer you a smile before i tear my eyes away from to settle my gaze onto the great tree before us, and it’s all that i need in order to understand why you would want it made into an artwork, even if i understand that there must be a deeper meaning behind your request as well.