⊱ film studio

@『 ✮ 』wonshik kang。 @『 ✦ 』xueyi zhang。 filming day.

cameras all set in place, lighting, sound, set, everything in is where they should be, including the actors. as always, he sits behind one of the main desks, different screens in front of him where it shows the same scene, but all connected and shot from a different angle by a different camera. the actors are getting their makeup finished after a few long shots down, with the weather and the temperature, it is normal to have them sweat away the makeup in a few spots. after the makeup artists are done, they head back to their places, a small tent among the few around the scenes, filled with staff in charge of a different category.

being a director gives rohwan the absolute control of a scene. whether it is a cut or pass, whether the actors have been doing their job well or not, whether the lighting is off or the audio reception is out of place, it is all under the final call from him. sometimes even when the actor didn't miss any lines, lighting and all settings are impeccable, and when everyone is waiting for a pass to proceed to the next scene, it can always be a ng shot. no one can truly understand how does a director look at the scenes in their own perspective, but rohwan truly takes pride in what he does. knowing that his professionalism can combine with one of those things that he need the most, it can never be more ideal.

but there are some exceptions.

just like this time, looking into the camera, he is staring into the actress's eyes, a pair that is so familiar that it reminds me of an incident occurring not long ago, when a woman looking just like her confessed her feelings to a man who doesn't know about feelings. she and another actor is filming a kiss scene today, and even before the whole filming, rohwan has a sense - that something may not be as easy it seems. his surroundings are now quiet, he notices the eyes all looking at him, and he knows it is his call again - the call to start the shoot. he lets out a sigh, looking into the camera and parts his lips.

"and - action!"

@『 ✦ 』rohwan byun。 xueyi let out a chuckle - a small broken one at first before it evolved into a laugh as she smacked his hand away. it was almost as if something in the girl changed - changed to protect and shield herself from her feelings. it was something she'd never predicted she'd do again after that one summer in high school. she looked at him, the hurt in her eyes quickly being masked by literal emptiness as she furiously wiped her tears away. she wasn't going to cry, not in front of him.

"of course i knew it was all a play. if i hadn't played along, would you have had a show to give to the press?" she questioned, the corners of her lips forcefully tugged up into a chaste smile. "how was my acting for you?" she forced herself to go on, unwilling to back down and crumble into a ball of pain and humiliation. "i hope you had fun because i've had enough. just stop, i think the press has had enough coverage on us to last for a while." she raised her hand to give him a gentle pat on the shoulder. she bit her inner cheek once more, bracing herself for what she was about to say next. "so do the both of us a favour and keep things on a professional level from now on. i'm sure a filmmaker such as yourself would know how to do that, right?"

crack.

she could hear the sound of her stepping on her own heart and feelings with each word that left .

xueyi exhaled, turning around to hide her tears that were finally rolling down her cheeks from him. "you're welcome for the entertainment." she walked away, every step feeling as though someone had tied iron chunks to the soles of her feet. "and one last thing." she stopped, a few feet away. "what's the point in having fame if you're all alone? would you really rather have your name known across the world but have nobody who understands and cares for you by your side?" she paused. "that's sad." without another word, she left the man alone on the rooftop with nothing but one thought in her mind.

byun rohwan, i'll return the hurt and humiliation by tenfolds.

@『 ✦ 』xueyi zhang。 rohwan quietly watches the girl as she froze at the spot, a frown appearing in his glabella almost immediately at how the situation turned out. how long has it been when he had seen such a sight, when he had hurt someone because of his commitment issues? he had long lost track. but one thing for sure, is that he didn't like to see that look, disappointment - it was sadly a familiar expression he used to see a lot from his father, who probably still felt the same about him. the useless son, he always said. rohwan learned his mistakes from the past, and he knew he still did some of them for now, but for a bigger part, he was no longer the man he was.

so watching the lady turning away, he felt this slight clench in his heart. what was it really? he was too quick to understand it was not love. he never loved anyone, not even his own family after they had given his well-deserved punishment, his ego and pride didn't allow him to feel that certain way even when he was at wrong. he shook off those additional thoughts popping up in his head, questions from the lady turning into answers generated in him. he always plays the media in his hands, thinking he has control in everything. and truthfully, he knew what the press wants. rumors, dark sides of a person, they want all of that for more views, so he just played against the rules.

although the truly surprising part still lies in the mere fact that this rumor didn't turn out to be completely fake at all.

being crushed on, rohwan hasn't felt that in years. because people around him have abandoned him, seen the worst of him, even he himself was too certain that no one would ever. so whatever it might be, he never expected xueyi to do what she had for today, and her final realization only made things worse - or just revealing the deepest truth laying under all the lies he had weaved for her. it's true that he had acted up a full show for her, but why...something felt odd?

"glad you find out yourself," he said in a cold tone, trying to shove away all the thoughts to behind his head. no, there was no other endings or truth to this. he used her, that's a truth. she would have known the ending sooner or later, and she was just too foolish to fall for a man like him. he, was never deserved to be loved. "it was all a play, but even as an actress..." he gently brushed away the hair laying above her forehead and snorted. "one must know the borderline of reality and a show."

@『 ✦ 』rohwan byun。 xueyi froze.

almost immediately, it was as if her heart had dropped down into the deepest pits of hell and she'd been thrown over the ledge of the roof. was he serious? was it some kind of sick joke? why would he have treated her the way he had been if he didn't feel even a smidge of affection for her? she let out a chuckle, turning her head just enough so that her locks could cover her reddened face. maybe she could still play it off as a joke, early april fools perhaps?

"why.." words were leaving before she could even stop herself. "why have you been so sweet to me then? even after we'd gotten ourselves onto blogs and forums as the talk of the town?" she bit her inner cheek, trying her best to suppress her own feelings and stop herself from tearing up. "you should've- could have distanced yourself away from me but you didn't. why?" she finally looked up at him, feeling her heart crack just a tad bit more as she studied his face, his eyes.

a thought clicked in her mind.

"unless..." she paused. suddenly felt dry and her voice was caught in as realization began to dawn on her. "was it all nothing but an act? were you using me as fuel to keep yourself as the talk of the town this whole time?" her voice was growing louder, alarm filling her voice as her eyebrows furrowed. by then, the tears that she'd been holding back were starting to pool around her eyes. xueyi knew she wasn't an idiot and she should've figured that this was hollywood, not some kind of rom-com drama where she was the female lead and he was the male lead but she'd let herself get hopelessly lost and caught up in her own feelings that were most likely one-sided this whole time.

@『 ✦ 』xueyi zhang。 he was on the way home when he received her message.

xueyi...what could possibly be the issue? he simply thinks to himself, but no words can easily conclude what the lady might be planning behind the text. she's an interesting lady, an actress, and a pretty one, so rohwan had his share of fun when it came to working with her. well, he always had his fun working with different people but things got slightly out of track when some who knows where reporter made an exclusive report about them. really? him and her, almost like two people from two different planets, in the same rumor? he didn't find himself rejecting it, even furthermore wanted to have more fun with it.

if the reporter wants their skinship, they will have it.
if they want their cute interactions, he will fulfill them.

either it is a simple gesture of brushing her hair, or carefully looking at her hand when she got injured, he made sure every step was well-calculated, not too much and not too less, just so they could be captured at the right timing. of course the actress didn't plan this with him, it was all his one-man show anyway - but he had gained amused into watching her getting flustered at his moves, eyes trying to evade his as if looking into his eyes could get her soul snatched away.

was it perhaps too overboard now? he hummed to himself, maybe the little girl realized it was all a show, and going to call him over to let him stop whatever he would do to her for those views. pictures of them holding hands, staying close, eyes meeting each other, it was anything but genuine. so maybe she had noticed finally, and was going to have her part into stopping him. he was ready for her harsh words, some chiding maybe, for he was always labelled as a 'playboy' and 'irresponsible'. but then, who could really stop him?

he headed to the place where she had asked to meet him, and watching her turning to him with a soft look rather than a serious expression, rohwan suddenly had a sense. it was not too familiar for him, and even until she had finished her sentence, he only remained silence. silence, for it was nothing he had expected, instead the exact opposite of it. "xueyi..." he found himself dumbfounded, not a usual state to be seen on him, he for the first time in his life carefully filtered of what he wanted to say.

"i am honoured," he started off.

"but i don't see you that way."

@『 ✦ 』rohwan byun。 "you can do it, xueyi. deep breaths." she exhaled as she paced back and forth the rooftop, twiddling with her phone in her hands with anxiety pumping through her very veins. not once had she imagined she'd be doing this, not once had the idea of growing feelings for someone even crossed her mind ever since her first relationship during her high school days. she'd blocked out that idea in an attempt to keep herself from heartbreak again and yet here she was, about to be vulnerable with someone. here she was feeling butterflies for someone when she'd swore off it for good.

[ text to : rohwan. ]
- hey..
- (typing...)
- could you meet me at the rooftop once you get to the studio?

her hands shakily pressed send as she nervously bit on her bottom lip, putting her phone on top of the brick roof fence. her heart was racing with anticipation. today was the day she'd either have her heart broken again or it'd be the first step towards sweeter memories. over the course of the few months they worked together, he'd been subtly sweet towards her and although it brought about rumours and gossip about them, he'd crept into her heart slowly but surely. the corners of her lips tugged up at the thought of him as she looked down, trying her best to contain her feelings.

it was only when she'd heard footsteps that she snapped out of her thoughts, turning around to face the person behind her. "rohwan.." she'd almost immediately greeted, her voice soft. "you're here." her heart raced as she walked towards him.

one step, two steps, three steps, four.

she stopped in front of him, barely able to look at him. nervous. she was extremely nervous. "there's... something i wanted to tell you." xueyi paused, suddenly hesitant. "i...i..like.. you." her voice grew softer and by the end of her sentence, it was barely audible.