＋ㅤinterviews

Q. What was your fondest memory from your past life?

That is a question with many possible answers… see the real predicament to this type of question in regards to my own self lies in the era in which I lived. It was a drastically different time in which women and children were upheld to more regimented expectations. For example, a woman would be seen as truly chaste and virtuous if she were to starve herself to death after her husband passed; reason being that married women were expected to be filial to their spouse’s natal family until their own death.
One of my fondest memories is from when I was a young girl. My family was in the noble ‘yangban’ class, however my mother specialized as a tailor for the concubines and consort in the palace. Growing up, I oftentimes would assist her in crafting and fixing the dresses. They were made of the most luxurious fabrics and adornments, it was an honor to work on them each and every time she would bring one home. I remember working on a dress from scratch for a period of months- waking early before the light rose and stopping deep into the night, hours went into that very dress… imagine my surprise when my mother told me it was my wedding dress!

Q. What was it like when you first got to Sacheon?

Ahh.. I was perplexed, to say the least. The very first thing I noticed that confounded my mind was something as simple as a lightbulb. What, to most in this era, seems irrelevant, is a miraculous creation in my eyes. I am 200 years old now… that is also a fact that I was not expecting to become reality when I passed away. Truly I died miserable, and I live again to have another chance in a world that is equally as cruel in multiple fractured ways, some not too far from when I was younger. A part of myself is happy to be back, eager to be the hand that removes negativity from the world.. Another part is tired, an endless void of exhaustion.

Q. What do you want to do now that you live again?

I.. genuinely don’t know. I’ve been alive again for many years, and have reaped the souls of the dead time and time again, and yet I still do not have an answer for that question.

Q. If you could officially live another lifetime without worrying about reapers, essences, or deadmen, would you? Why?

No. I would firmly and deeply answer no to that question. The reason being that I feel some grievances.. some grudges, vendettas, etc., take on a form of their own? Whether reincarnated or not, my original life had the same end. Nothing can or will change that, no matter who I return as. I will still have those experiences, and they will always have that impact on who I became in response to them. Not only that, but who is to say whether the chance at living again would produce happy results? I would not wish to suffer again, and false happiness is not equivalent to real pain. So, no. I would not wish to live another lifetime again.

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❛ 〆 the fondest memory from my past life is... : hm. i don't remember most of my past life, and most of what i do remember i wouldn't describe as fond. ah, but there was one time, i think... it was the end of spring, early summer. the weather was strange that year, from what i can recall; the cherry blossoms were still in full bloom. my sister and i had finished our lessons for the day and decided to sneak out of the estate to have a picnic together. there was this... tree, at the summit of a hill behind the main house. our parents hated when we would climb up to the top. our clothes would be covered in dirt and grass stains, and sometimes we would swim in the pond just beyond the hill, if it was warm enough. it wasn't that day, but i do remember us finding a place to sit beneath the cherry blossom tree. we just sat and talked; she had managed to steal some tteok from the kitchens and we were stuffing our faces with it. it tasted so sweet... yes, i think that's the fondest memory that i can recall.

❛ 〆 when i first arrived in sacheon... : it was foreign to me. though i am loathe to admit it now, when i first arrived in sacheon my mind was still fresh from my previous life. i couldn't remember much, but i knew that i had come from a noble family; i don't think i had gotten out very much from the sphere of the yangban lifestyle. it took awhile for me to adjust, though i made it in the end, as you can see. i'm not much for wealth or the finer things in life anymore, though, i feel like i never was even in my previous life... anyway, sacheon, yes; it was a confusing time for me, as i think it is for anyone chosen to be a reaper, but there were people around to help me as soon as i arrived and for that i am grateful.

❛ 〆 now that i live again i would like to... : atone. for the wrongdoings i've committed in my past. that has been my goal ever since i was revived, and if that means doing my job as a reaper then i will do the best damn job i can. as for anything else, maybe... no... just, atonement. yes, let's leave it at that.

❛ 〆 if i could live another life without reapers, essences and deadmen... : yes and no. i think life would be a lot more enjoyable, without the whole system of reapers and hunting, essences and deadmen. but, would i choose to live in another life without it? no. this is something i have- no, something i must do. i must see it through to the end, so no, i wouldn't live another life than the one that i have now, even if i wish i had done things differently.

[✱] What was your fondest memory from your past life?
ㅤ ㅤ My fondest memory happens to be my last memory. I can hardly remember much of my life before this, but I was a beggar that became a master painter in Italy's 18th century. And while I was famous for my works, I was also renowned for taking in odd apprentices who later became famous themselves—namely, one who was a woman. Many were opposed to this, and I often caught heat for it, but art knew no boundaries to me. I remember that unfortunately, it was because I took in this female apprentice that I suffered my fate.

ㅤ ㅤ My last memory starts with finishing a painting on a beautifully balmy day during sunset. That day, the subject of my painting was a courtijana (courtesan) that I was deeply in love with. Neither of us officially confessed our feelings for one another because what we shared was primarily secret, but the feeling was definitely mutual. We’d spent this particular day mostly alone at her home because she commissioned me for a portrait, and the only other person who knew about that was my apprentice who, unbeknownst to me at the time, was also in love with me.

ㅤ ㅤ The apprentice wasn’t aware of my relationship with the courtijana, but she had her suspicions and grew more jealous the more she pieced together the clues and evidence, I later learned. Because of this, she ultimately figures things out and puts a plan in motion to steal me away. It failed, of course, but she couldn't take no for an answer.

ㅤ ㅤ On that fateful day, my apprentice snuck in just as I finished the painting. She took us both by surprise and gave me an ultimatum: love her back, or the courtijana dies. I didn't want either to happen, so I tried to calm her down and reason with her. She didn't want to reason with me, though. She told me one last time to choose between her and the courtijana, but I refused again. And as a result, she struck me with a poisoned blade.

ㅤ ㅤ I did ultimately die, but what happened next is the last clear memory from when I was first alive.

ㅤ ㅤ The courtijana finally said I love you... She finally told me she loved me.

ㅤ ㅤ And that was the last thing I’d ever experience.


[✱] What was it like when you first got to Sacheon?
ㅤ ㅤ When I first appeared in Sacheon, I was so confused. There were so many things different from the world I came from, or at least the world I remember I came from. They have so many handy tools and technology now that make life so much easier! Big culture shock for sure as well because I went from being in 18th century Italy (so weird saying that) to being trapped here in present-day South Korea, but I like it a lot.

ㅤ ㅤ I remember if feeling a lot like waking up from a nap, only I was , I had no idea what the language here was, and I remember specifically being in the courtijana's house like it was yesterday. I also had a scar from the incident, but I didn’t remember at the time what it was from. I just remember feeling this like... immense emotional pain at the same time as an incredible sense of relief.

ㅤ ㅤ When I first met my essence, they helped me get my bearings about myself and from there, it felt easier to adjust to my new life. They helped teach me Korean and helped me get some clothes, helped me to get a house, and some money with a job.


[✱] What do you want to do now that you live again?
ㅤ ㅤ Well, first, I want to do what I was revived for—being able to find love that’s healthy and being able to confess my real feelings without having to hide them. Being able to love freely basically. It’s not that I never did, no, but... when I died, I just remember being like “I wish I could have told my love that I really loved her” and I guess that’s what I get the chance to do now. While I’m here, I also want to try being a food critic or just someone who gets to enjoy food for a living, haha. I want to learn more about Sacheon and why I ended up here too.


[✱] If you could officially live another lifetime without worrying about reapers, essences, or deadmen, would you? Why?
ㅤ ㅤ I definitely would. I don’t want to have to worry too much about looking over my shoulder all the time just because someone might come try and kill me. I also want to be able to exist without having to live with a practical ghost 24/7 and not have a time limit. I want to be free and see what life as a normal, regular person would be like.