some of them are pretty old I believe
some are from people aren't here anymore
I do know who wrote a couple of them and to whom
but 'you had to be here' kinda thing, so it's understandable if you don't have a clue, it doesn't mean you are dumb
Today is the day I’ve decided to move on, to let go. We can’t change the past but we can build the future, work on it and try to be better than yesterday.
I believe the things that had to be said, were said in the moment and while it still hurts, it gave me a sense of closure. While I know you’re long gone, I hope you can forgive me for moving forward.
Wherever you are… I wish you have a fulfilling and successful life, that you find that spark again because the fact is, you’re an incredible talented person, full of determination and I know you will make it far in life.
Forgive me for falling short, I will always remember you with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart.
I’m writing this as a way to process my emotions and the fact that you aren’t here anymore. Although I know there’s a chance of you coming back, it doesn’t hurt any less that you’re gone today. I miss you and I think of you everyday. You had your reasons to leave and I want you to know that I understand. I don’t hold any bad feelings towards you. On the opposite, I think about you with love and longing.
But I must admit there’s regret on my part, while I know time wasn’t on our side, I regret not spending more time with you, this might be tmi but I also regret not being able to give you the intimacy you and me wanted, but again, time wasn’t on our side and neither our cycles.
I regret not saying a proper farewell to you. I wish I could’ve held you once in my arms before you left.
Remember the notes you used to write in your pad? Ah, I wanted to ask you about those. But I never did and I regret it now. I always thought we would have more time…that you would share them with me when the time was appropriate.
But that’s the thing we were missing the most. Time.
Since you left, I’ve tried my best to stay strong, to move forward and just leave this rough patch in the past. But I only hurt myself more, that’s not who I am. So, today, I decided to start my healing journey. By being truly honest to myself, accept that I miss you and process my grief so I can finally start looking forward.
I’ve been gone, mentally and emotionally and I don’t think that’s fair for our dearest Hakken. For him, for you, for me, for us, is why I write this today.
I’m writing this letter as part of this process, and while I know you might not see it, who knows - maybe you will. But if you don’t, that’s okay too.
Again, I know there’s the possibility of you always coming back, but I also have to accept that a lot of things can change in the time being. And the possibility of you not coming back also exist. If you come back, know that I will be welcoming you in my arms again, in my heart. If you desire to come back but not return to me, to us, I will still welcome you and adore you and cheer for you.
My sweet Hao; my sweet sweet Hao, I miss you dearly and I love you with all of me. While our time was short, you took a piece of my heart with you. There’s something missing in me since you left. It hurts now but I know it’s going to be okay…
Wherever you are right now, I hope you’re taking care of yourself, eating properly and getting a decent rest, don’t push your body to the limit, is not worth it, I speak from experience.
@ᴋᴀɴɢ ʏᴇᴏꜱᴀɴɢ ᵇᵘⁿⁿʸ i would let them know but i don't know who they are as well!
though hopefully you'll get to meet them soon or they brave up and face you ouo
