✖ kyungsoo's mansion

( casually replies two days later, otl. ; U ; it's okay bb. < 3 )

The silent glance crashed wildly with the tiding thoughts within Kai mind; all he needed was a nod, a blink. Kyungsoo doesn't say anything, but his trembling fingers along Kai’s neck tell him everything he needs to know.
The pads of skin fitting into the coarse white fabric of Kai’s dress shirt, body flush against his and silently marvelling at how well their pelvises fit. As he rubs his thumb across Kyungsoo’s eyebrows, the latter patiently letting him, his own hands linger now easy on Kai’s shoulder blades, by now Kai is wishing he could make some moments last an eternity. Biting down on Kyungsoo’s lip, he peers up at his creator through the curtain of his hair, unsure how to respond. He’s not supposed to respond. So he does the only thing he’s capable of, kissing him again, harder, tongue demanding entrance. Kyungsoo opens for him immediately, allowing him to ease into his mouth, soft and slow like the hour hand of a carefully wound antique watch. Kai pulls back far enough to look into Kyungsoo’s eyes again. He counts the flecks in Kyungsoo’s irises and brushes the tips of their noses together before releasing his tight hold on the creator. ‘’If you loved me before,’’ Feigning ignorance when Kyungsoo breathes daunting words next to his ear, Kai let's his tongue travel down the heavily pulsing veins, listening to a heart thumping somewhere between sixty and eighty-five beats per minute. ‘’Will you love me again?’’

Kai wasn’t responsible for kisses stolen in hours unrecorded, nor lips playing for dominance as words were spoken roughly yet adoringly. Contours of a lover’s body molding against and into the other like a perfect puzzle piece, tender hands running through soft hair, feeling up skin less synthetic. Backs pushed uncomfortably against walls, and moans escaping plush lips. Insatiable lust continually running through veins as they held one another; fingers slowly dancing against each other's skin in a coded message until rays of amber hit the flush spread on bruised skin, the result of shared nights visible for weeks and exposed only through the crisp of bedroom curtains. He wants to be liable of the marks on Kyungsoo’s skin, the gasps and inaudible whispers of pleasure and need, as well as the squeeze of their hands, comfortable and reassuring of protection and warmth.

With one final nip just below the junction where the elegant neck meets the gentle curve of the shoulders, Kai darts his tongue to his bottom lip unconsciously, slender fingers still entwined through his hair and neck, pulling him closer to the male underneath him. He smiles; a pleased smile that makes the back of his eyes shine with mirth, before he leans upward to mould his lips to Kyungsoo’s eagerly awaited ones. This time, there was no authority, no sense of empowerment when the rustling of their clothes brings forth waves of ecstatic and rapturous sensations of freefalling. They were equal, sharing a kiss of overflowing emotions that could not be described by mere mortal words.

[ 2 months later and kyungsoo finally replies. ; U ; ]

“I’ve made you – all of you – from what I know.” There were unspoken apologies within their eyes and between the spaces in their fingers where warm hands would intertwine so easily, longing when their chests pressed against each other and sealed doubts and regrets away with shared kisses. Kyungsoo responded in quiet gasps and whispered encouragement, shifting into touches and relaxing in warmth, searching for the catch before the fall and squeezing the other’s fingers for reassurance. “You’re all the—“ Kai’s tongue was warm and welcome against his teeth and tongue, mouthing away his words, “all the small things no one takes the time to appreciate.”

His lips pressed insistently forward and it was blind trust that opened his mouth and body for Kai to move against, and knowledge that those arms would wrap around his waist, protect him when they tumbled together. Those arms would secure him, drag him away from work and into warm hugs and hold him when memories threatened to overwhelm him, those hands would soothe down bare sides and mouth speak praise and swallow his sins among sighs and quiet pleas. For Kai was programmed to please and work into the minds and bodies of those who bought him, claimed with a possessive kiss and claiming with sturdy arms and fluid movements, codes shining dimly in artificial eyes void of the sincerity and honesty as those they were modeled after. Ones and zeros were mapped along his skin and remembered in a temporary memory, the give of his flesh under Kai’s touch and the exact temperature and shade – qualities that could be forgotten with time and technology.

It was that thought – that Kai was vulnerable to human whim and could forget their sins, their stolen kisses between covers – that guided him against a plush mattress, hands touching him with wary care. “I’ll indulge you.” His words held newfound purpose and reassurance, meant to soothe the other’s nerves and echoing with empty promises, shifting apart his legs and wrapping them around his thighs. “You’re safe, Kai.” Tilting his head up and meeting the adoration he would never deserve, Kyungsoo was swallowed in the sheer immensity of emotion and the chest pressing him down above him, eyes telling a story of tragedy he should know better than to believe. He should know better than to arch into those touches around his waist and exhale shaky breaths against skin, matching kisses with moving lips and breathing in the memories. “You’re someone I used to know.” It was familiar, warmth spreading throughout his chest and swelling as his pulse quickened and fingertips trembled against Kai’s hair and shoulder-blades, comforting and something Kyungsoo could do – speak through actions and avoid questioning eyes, grasping lightly at his nape and mouthing at open lips and a tongue that moved with familiar adoration inside him. “You’re someone I used to love.”

( wait a minute... aww kyungsoo gets a mansion? ; w ; )

@◊ do kyungsoo ( i feel bad it's so short. ; ; )

‘’Then, let me know.’’ A smile, small, perhaps a little too apologetically. One which killed the most. He knew what love was, what love wasn’t. Fleeting love, something so fleeting that it escaped through trembling grasps, searching for a reflection in the other that was never there, didn’t belong rooted around a ribcage, a strangle of roses with mean thorns replacing the gaping hole it left. It left like that, with two frosted kisses on burning shoulder blades. When screams of desperation and longing muffled the need for the other to return.

Time was unpredictable for people who are not Kai. And he learned to mold it to his will, spinning minutes into hours and days into seconds. If he cried, alone, head between his knees and arms wrapped around himself to keep from shaking, maybe Kai isn’t really crying. He wonders if that’s why every moment he’d spent with Kyungsoo felt so solid and real. With Kyungsoo, Kai wasn’t the unrealistic mechanism. With Kyungsoo, he’s – seconds, minutes, hours. That’s how long he does not cry. He does not want to know how it feels, although it's lonelier now that Kai has tasted being complete. The future seems long and winding.

But no matter how much he changes time, weaving through the minutes carefully stepping over all the important threads, when he’s done, Kyungsoo’s is waiting for him, hand outstretched and eyes smiling. He’s selfish to believe it’s real, the wound blooming a strange flower . Kai is gentle, curling his tongue around Kyungsoo’s like he’s is something to savor, an overwhelming sensation, melting into eachother like ice on a summer’s afternoon, drops slipping through delicate fingers and spilling onto the floor. Tumbling into the bed, knees and calves tangled together like they’d been too familiar, and Kai breathes in the warm scent of Kyungsoo’s long dark hair and the warmth of him, as far as he predicts heat can sidle into their mending breaths, when he anchors his grip around the lithe frame. Refusing to let those arms become a temple of another’s.

.
( AHFJKAHFKAKFA KAISHOE
IM CRYING
KAISHOE SO MANY
KAISHOE I SARANG
ALFHAKFGKA )

( y essays. can u knot )

@001 - kai [ I LIED, IT STOPPED BEING PG TODAY. jkjk, sorry for the wait bb. ; ; ]

“It’s so much more than that, more than you’ll ever know.” In the twisted sense of misunderstanding and irony that Kai wouldn’t, couldn’t remember even if told why, his words were true and spoke with the serene acceptance of someone who’d given up trying. His attempts were forgotten and the achingly naïve tone to the other’s words strung guilt between their hands and tugged insistently on his heart, asking forgiveness when none were to blame than time itself, stealing from those who asked more and gifting it to machines incapable of appreciation. Kai wouldn’t understand the gift bestowed him, programmed into his hard-drive and wired into his sole existence with strings of numbers and codes and intricate technology – the gift of forgetting and starting anew in all the glorious innocence Kyungsoo was now destroying. It was unfair that each creation made was awarded something they didn’t deserve, never took the time to or even appreciated, when their owners would be the ones forgotten and neglected.

Their memories were an easel and a temptingly blank canvas, white sheets layered upon continuous white, a place for their owner to write and paint and draw and sketch and pour all their emotion through monochrome and palettes of warm, cool, pastel – only to be torn down each day and tossed aside. So began the next sheet, and the next, until there were no more to doodle upon, no more hearts to break, colors that of sunrises watched and sunsets spent alone and the aching shade of loneliness. It was wrong for people to pity them and accept the dolls selflessly, or selfishly, into their hearts, to nurture and care for a machine that would inevitable break them. An eternal, tragic story bound by creator to their creation, and Kyungsoo wasn’t sorry.

He watched the shadows transgress across the room and line the sculpted contours of the furniture, the grand bed and its arches curving gracefully upwards to join and twine wood along the top in intricate designs, the curtains fluttering in the same moon-blessed breeze. It was a tranquil silence, interrupted by the rustle of fabric and soft, unnecessary exhale when warm palms gently cupped his face. His eyes gently shut against the soothing touches and a tremor ran through, down his spine and raising caution along his skin, at the feeling of compassion – warm and real with lips pressing to each of his features. Hands reaching up to grasp at the wrists now treasuring him, their breaths were caught and captured together in a mismatching inhale and exhale, chest swelling as those lips press against naturally against his own. He knew what to do, where to place each hand and how to move yet it felt as if this were the first, one of many to follow when his mouth shifted to conform against plush lips and his body shifted closer to warmth, thrumming with nerves. It was their first and it was awkward, comforting, perfect when his hands pulled insistently and touch asked for more.

@◊ do kyungsoo ‘’It’s natural. You’re the creator, after all.’’ He added, smile gracing his lips when their palms interlocked and slid together flawlessly. His observations were right, it’s lonely, the kind of quiet that sinks into bones and stays there, and even if he tried to change himself for the man in front of him, to the edges of his perfect reality, he couldn’t accomplish anything humans could. Kai wasn’t made of flesh and bones, and he would never be. People didn’t love him, did not know he existed. That’s why watching people is something Kai loves to do, more than anything. Observation is a way for him to feel alive. Kai knows that, but that’s not why he observes. He just likes watching the swell of people at the end of their day as they haggle for vegetables from the street vendors, arguing with each other over who bumped into whom. He likes that because people, just like this, bubbling and spilling over one another, loud voices saturating the air, are so alive, and being alive is such a wonderful gift.

Kai knows the value of being alive. He knows exactly how much it’s worth in hours and minutes and seconds and milliseconds. Because he has more than time; Kai has forever. He’s living in a world where time is nothing and staying awake twenty hours of the day is about as normal as dying when you’re eighty. He knows he’s not capable of doing anything according to those lines, though, so he pushes the thought away, folds the corners neatly and buries it under silence and logic. He would be considered damaged goods in the sense that everything is supposed to be perfect. The pieces of string that keep him together would snap and he will fall like a game of pick-up sticks.

It’s quiet for a bit, and Kai enjoys the silence for the small bit he has. Wavering in his thoughts, he buttoned the lose dress shirt and somewhat tight jeans, the unnatural fiber sliding against the synthetic goods which substituted for skin. He clings to the cotton of Kyungsoo’s shirt as he drags him closer, hands coming up to cup the latter’s face, pressing kisses to his eyelids, then his nose, finally settling his mouth against the other with a soft, almost inaudible sigh. He loses track of the seconds, because the only moment that matters is now.

@001 - kai [ respond with this length and i'll cry ]

There was an unsettling sadness to Kai’s eyes, an emptiness beyond the movement sensors and prosthetic coloring of warm irises, observing his movements with submissive complacency and committing each feature to a temporary memory disk – one that would be removed upon year’s end and wiped of all sentimentality. It was as if machines were capable of emotions or sadness, the sweet guilt of forgotten memories or the indulgence when attempting to move on, as if they were piteous for memories that weren’t their own. Kai was foolish to think things could change between them, could change the inevitable end where they’re just another two strangers on the street and any mutual recognition is guised behind another lover, a gorgeous girl or attractive man; Kyungsoo was foolish for attempting to change that, succumbing to desires of the past and what emotions felt like, for thinking this might work. It won’t, as Kai’s just another machine capable of abiding compassion and the scars of wronged romance were still raised on his back – they’ll never love, and Kyungsoo will erase the memories personally.

“No,” and the words were soft, gentle among the whispered silence and sudden insecurities of a machine that shouldn’t doubt itself, reflecting the tender personality of who Kai was modeled after. Someone who cared for him unconditionally, who woke up beside him every day and pressed against him until sleep overcame them, a person whose perfections and imperfections were immortalized in the same dolls neither of them needed – because, then, they had each other. He never questioned himself when those arms were around him and ceased all questions when that mouth spoke, or moved against him, and it was trick of time that took that away. “I don’t prefer any creation, because I care for you all equally.” His fingers wound their way around Kai’s insisting ones, natural with practice and effortless in remembrance, palms mismatching perfectly and grasp tight, asking, pleading: don’t let me go. Guiding them to the open expanse of an empty bedroom, straightened and impeccably clean, his fingers never loosened their grip around soft skin – caught in the sentimentality, eyes shining with a pain exclusive to someone who’s lost another, left begging for the seconds.

“I don’t think you understand, but you’re all very important to me.”

@◊ do kyungsoo Kyungsoo turned away and Jongin used that opportunity to study him. He is the cold hard ground and the warmth of white sheets. He says the drops of rain are gentle kisses but still, he falls so heavily. Darkness is akin to him yet always, he brings the sun. Kai felt a smile tug at his lips and he wasn't even sure if it's because of the other’s expression or words, but he knows it’s still far from acceptance. Long, fathered lashes casted long shadows on his cheekbones, and he was looking out the window of his creator’s bedroom, watching the passing scenery in the quiet. Pictures of a walk on a small beach, in winter, and an impromptu poem session, flutter before his lids. He doesn’t know who those come from, or did previously belong to. When he figures out that there was a pattern to the list, the warmth enticed him, grabbing hold of his core and blanketing it with a feral lust. His mind yearns for someone, especially when said someone was right in front of him. ‘’Does Kyungsoo prefer another creation?’’ He breathes; repeating the last word endlessly until the heady air was tainted unmistakably by his voracity.

But the obvious, insatiable need couldn't be ignored or forgotten. It was what made up his entire being; where a branded mark of, Property of Do Kyungsoo, was engraved into the very fibers of his existence. A pointed stare, eyebrow raised in classic questioning, manages to break through the silence. Just one stride of his feet was all it took for him to edge closer to his creator, glancing down at the petite frame and grazing their palms slightly, an attempt to interlace fragile fingers with his own. ‘’I know.’’

@001 - kai Sturdy, supporting arms encircled his waist and the comfort was too natural, soothing as their bodies aligned and those muscles secured him in warmth too tempting to deny, machine swaying underneath in a lover’s embrace. His arms refused to return the gesture and splayed across Kai’s chest, unmoving and measuring the whir of an energy supply replacing an anatomical heartbeat – attraction merely physical and satiating the inner desire to love and be loved. It was natural among them to seek acceptance and dolls weren’t programmed with the capability to understand complex emotions, when they weren’t wanted or the pain wrought through heartbreak, codes and equations unable to interpret an appropriate sadness. “You’re free to touch me as you please.” He wasn’t programmed to do more than care for his owner, arms cradling a smaller frame and eyes adoring through procedure – a simple reset and Kai would forget the gentle wind washing over them and moonlight illuminating an empty foyer.

“You’re one among many of my creations,” voice conveying a measured amount of weariness without the certainty behind it, his hands pushed against the other’s chest and away from intimacy as loose arms fell away. “You’re neither the first nor the last, and you’re incapable of remembering me.” He suppressed any physical response to the chilling temperature and turned away, steps hesitant when moving towards the corridor and stopping under the arch. The security and protection Kai’s arms sheltered him with were null without a continuous presence, nerves alight and tingling with foreign sensations when Kyungsoo nodded in invitation. “I can trade you in for another.” Gentle nudges of the wind urged them to move and he turned without another glance, capable and knowledgeable of the control over Kai and the capabilities programmed within him, instead leaving it up to choice whether to follow.

@◊ do kyungsoo A creation, he hears, the parted lips moving slowly to enunciate each word. The eyes were still closed, but the fair skinned male didn't have to see to know that it was Kyungsoo. The warmth came radiating from the male unmistakable. He wanted to imprint all of himself onto the small body that laid under his palm. He wanted to mark and mar the pearly skin; tainting it with his name, with his touch. The hearts, to both of them, were already taken; taken and devoured until nothing except mere thoughts and remnants of each other were left. Something he would bury deep inside his core, before his creator himself, would linger his calm fingertips upon a key, and delete every of skin against skin, each hinted message underlined with coded emotions until they were nothing but a forgotten memory.

"All the more reason," Kai whispered, strands of auburn caressing the curve of his cheekbone. ‘’I’m the only one you wish for.’’ The curtains billowed gently in the night breeze, and the moonlight seemed to encase them in an ethereal glow. He reached out a hand to gently comb Kyungsoo’s hair, but reeled back when realizing that he shouldn’t demand too much from his maker. So he paused for a good few minutes, and just watched the steady breathing motion of the other’s chest. As a soft sigh escaped his lips, a comfortable feeling of his creator’s presence pressing against his exposed chest, the hairs on his neck rising from the other’s words. Eyes half open, he reached over in one swoop of his long arms and twisted them around Kyungsoo’s torso carefully, the embrace a return for the response he wasn’t supposed to give. As the twinkling gleam in his eyes flickers back to life, Kai smiled, inching closer when he felt so peaceful that he didn’t care if he stopped functioning.

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( #waves banner. )

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[ don't be, bb! ]

Attraction was the origin of relations and spark behind romantic notions and pleasures, as simple as aesthetic features or smooth tones with which someone spoke, physical embodiment critical to the start and purposeful when gentle hands combed through his hair. It was a simple, soothing gesture and an emotion stirred somewhere between caution and enjoyment, knowing each movement was at his own expense and programming this adoring creature, this attractive humanoid who gazed with all the fondness Kyungsoo could dream of returning. He knew more-so than another the consequences beyond mutual attraction and the formation of a shimmering bond, golden and tried and true, tugging at their hearts with a sense of irrational jealousy and unconditional—

“You’re not my boyfriend.” His words were true yet deniable in tone, voice trembling on the last syllable and cracking into silence, fingers still soothing circles against cool cheeks that now responded to each touch. The weight of another’s gaze was an unwelcome pressure and he smothered his face into the expanse of Kai’s chest, flinching away from the curious fingers along his jaw and breathing in the scent of prosthetic comfort – expensive cologne with gentler undertones, the sweet scent of shared sheets in the morning and the downy of cuddling each other to sleep. “You’re my creation and I’m Kyungsoo, your creator.” Mumbling against revealed skin and nestling further away, his eyes didn’t need to glance up towards warm features to know the machine’s reaction and subsequent questions, instead giving him a choice. If neither were to remember this occasion, one because of obligation and the other out of spite, Kyungsoo would play him a decision he knew Kai wasn’t designed to answer, a teasing lilt to the harmless words. “What do you want to do?”

[ ALSO JENN IF YOU SEE THIS HI. ]

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@◊ do kyungsoo ( i'm nervous for my first post, wah wah. )

It started with the standings of personal opinions that somehow clashed, yet like a puzzle piece, clicked together to create a simple harmony of instant desire. At first it is curiosity that stirred the most among humans, but that soon led to unsatisfied yearnings, and uncontrolled cravings. Reasoning and logic was discarded as they sought for purity and perfection, creating replicas of their desiderate thoughts when instinct took control. And like a virus, they spread to one and another in a hungry debate of needed comfort, neither hesitating to savor and mark every crevice, every smooth surface of skin; each model a personal canvas searching for its painter. A gentle flutter of his lashes, and the model opened its eyes, the ecstatic tingle of lips against his own alerting its sensors and causing him to crease the lightest of smiles on his features. “Hello,” He calls, words ringing throughout the room and into silence. His lips part once more, eyes crestfallen. ‘’I’m Kai, your boyfriend.’’ The way he voiced his name, the bittersweet bite of his whisper next to his owner’s persistence. His gaze traces fragile lines of the other’s face, wide eyes, snow kissed skin and soft lips. After watching his lover for a few minutes, Kai leaned forward to brush his hand through silk hair, gently, and then trailing his fingers down the sides of his face, and tracing his jaws. He made sure to keep his touch feather-light, before a question left his lips. ‘’And you are?’’

[ alternate one-liner ending: kyungsoo kissed kai and they lived happily ever after yaaaaay ]

His expectations were signed and delivered at the mansion entrance, a sealed package of tussled hair and wide, gentle eyes, repeating the flutter of his eyelashes and muscle movements to simulate humanity, emotions when Kyungsoo permitted. It stood solitarily as a testimony to the temptations of romance, shadow almost abandoned on the porch overlooking a city – the people to which this model would belong to, once or again until either one broke, a matter of time. He was different as creator, inventor of each intricacy and influence with each movement, and the responsibility fell on him to tend to the creations, assure them of their functionality and service each with a role meant to care for. Hesitating in crossing over to the foyer, Kyungsoo spared a lasting glance over and chose to accept him as a doll, not quite a lover, securing a hold on the sturdy packaging and guiding them to the nearest bedroom. He could choose to walk away now, down the hall and upstairs without a companion, or gently remove the sides and unravel the wrapping with genuine care, choosing to smooth a palm across relaxed features and appreciate the beauty in simplicity. Kai, Doll #001, was the replica modeled off personal ideals and aspirations, tracing the curved angle of the other’s jaw before covering each cheek with warm palms. He kissed with mild insistence and desperation between the natural give of Kai’s lips against his own, warm against industrial coll, pressing forward once and retreating – expectant, eager.