@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ kdjfkdjs wait that's a very good point-
i feel like wonbin hyung might have at least half a braincell....
PLEASE
we're gonna get kicked out-
you can just stand behind me : D
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ I-
let’s think thoroughly on this..
are we even sure if the other members have any
is the real question.
I- IF THEY POP OUT AT ME IM OBLIGATED TO POW THEM
ITS MY SELF DEFENSE INSTINCTS
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ then …. we can share mine- and if we lose that, we can go steal sohee’s!
KKDJDK no punching the workers, bebie
they’re just doing their job :pensive:
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ u 3 u
pfft, ok ok no more thinking- you need to cherish the last braincell you have! no thoughts, head empty anton from now on.
booo : < i wanna go in with you and hold your hand when you’re scared
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ avoids your chomps and presses my palms flat at each side of your cheeks to squish
… me wondering what else could make you cry..
me thinking extra hard..
me losing more braincells by the second
ehh you can go on your own and I’ll run off to the food stand
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ yuhuh
turns my head in attempt to bite your fingers.
i cry when i’m .. overwhelmed with emotion so- i’m sure you’ll see it someday.
YAHR !! do we need to go to another haunted house maze so you can see how reliable i can be while you cower behind me : D
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ nununuh
my face scrunches at the bite and I reach to pinch at your cheeks
then how else would you be crying.
mm… there’s not really anything you could do to convince me otherwise
NAHR.
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ i still think you’re cute u n u
lightly bites at your cheek with a soft huff.
you can see me cry later- not about this though, hmph.
kdjdks hEy i think i’m pretty reliable!! change your face rn-
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ nmnnnnn not cute. that’s all you.
closes my eyes when you lean in towards my cheek and peeks it open
… me curious about seeing you cry- I kinda-
no anton. no.
… the face im making rn is displaying that we won’t survive within 5 seconds
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ pfft well you’re cute too, dummy-
exhales a soft huff but immediately replaces it with a grin, swooping in to press a quick kiss to your cheek.
tsk, i would have cried until you said yes u - u
hehe it’s ok bc your great seunghan hyung will be all the survival skills you need!
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ … but like you’re a cute coward.
me wanting to see how you’d react if I said no but that would be mean bc obviously I’d want you
to stay around me.
turns my head away and blubbers quietly
smooth brained Anton has 0 survival skills
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ i guess i also can’t help that i’m a little coward, heh.
but i’d like to work to bring back the butterflies to your stomach… and if you’d let me, i wanna still stay by your side even if you’re feeling nothing. would that be okay?
gives your hands a soft squeeze of my own.
i smooth brained anton just as much, pfft-
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ lowers my eyes to our hands, quietly staring before my fingers curl into your own in a small subtle squeeze
mm well
I can’t help that im a little - aloof.
my brains barely been able to even form one wrinkle
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ in a breath and hesitantly reaches for your hands, finally looking up at you to check for your reactions.
then … if i’m working to accept it then .. you have to learn to accept it too- that it’d never be too much. and that i always want you as much as you’re wanting me.
exhales out a soft laugh.
we’re kinda dumb, aren’t we… both of us holding back when that’s what neither of us want-
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ no- nono… cause what if it’s too much yknow? there’s not a day that im not all over you.
At some point you’ll just think it’s repetitive and we’re playing the same song over and over
exhales massively from my nose
no hard time…
you just have to learn to accept it
that im just built a little different from most people
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ kdjdk you should have just let them out…
in a soft breath and nods as you speak.
i … i know. i just .. have a hard time? with letting that sink in, the idea that you wouldn’t get sick of me if i keep asking for things. but i’ll try to better-! i really do like you … a lot.
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ … well yes those times I was fighting my inner demons but let’s not talk about that ansnks
my nose scrunches again at your words and my lips purse into a thin line;
even if you were greedy, when have I have I ever said along the lines of not liking someone greedy? never. I always
tell you to be as greedy as you’d want … that I’d prefer it that way; it gives me a sense of reassurance that somehow in some way you still even like me
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ you faced the wall so many times, i thought you were fighting your inner demons-
attempts a small laugh before rubbing at the side of my arm, gaze shifting off to the side.
i was worried you’d think i was greedy… like i was asking of too many things, whether it was something ual or not. but i really do always wanna do whatever you wanna do- that makes me happy, knowing i’m able to give you the things no one else can.
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ … holding back-
stares and glances at the sofa then back at you
I don’t think I ever hold back;
you know im always in the mood to do anything with you- I never get tired of it..
…
now why didn’t we do any of those-
if you told me all of these things I would’ve happily done them all with you..
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ mm, what i wanna do-? i just feel like you’re holding back from doing what you wanna do sometimes
but hmm…
i mean- i always like doing ualthingswithyou but i wanna make sure you’re in the mood for that. i also .. i wanna go on a date with you .. even if it’s just a date in the dorms- i wanna sneak into your room at night and cuddle, i wanna laze around the couch with you on days off, maybe challenge you to some mario kart and then distract you with kisses… do these sound okay…?
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ …. scratches my cheek a little with furrowed brows
but… I want to do what you want to do..
everything that you would think of when being in a relationship with someone that you want to spend your time with; doing whatever comes up in your head
I feel like we’re always doing something I’d do-
and never nothing you’d want to do..
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ mm, i mean, there’s lots that i want to do but those are more like added bonuses to being with you! but even if we never do any of them, i’m just happy
with being able to have you in my life-
i don’t really /prefer/ doing anything… even just joking around with you is good- and i don’t want you to feel like you have to force any feelings if they’re unable to come out naturally- at the end of the day, your happiness and comfort is most important to me.
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ mm is it really enough to be a part of your life- is there not anything that you want to do..
what you feel like and what you think is best-
im only getting more and more lost if I keeping thinking about it
would sitting and talking help- some dates?
is that something you’d prefer doing -
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ you don’t have to give me anything, ton- just .. being a part of my life is more than enough. i want you to indulge all you want, to ask for all you want. maybe we started off too intense… we could go slow if you’d like? maybe just .. sit around and talk? go on some casual dates? or do you think that would just make your heart feel more empty? i .. just want you to be happy, chanyoung-
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ … that I don’t know.. but it just feels empty.
but it also hurts. so im confused on what it is..
seeing you has become something so normal to me..
each day I look over to see if you’re still around and
some days I don’t think about it at all
the moment we spend every second together, it’s almost like I can’t get enough but I won’t ask for it
instead I just cast myself aside and push it away. I want to love you with every bit of my entire being but
im not enough to give you what you need.
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ he’s quiet as you speak, not forcing you to look at him but keeping his own eyes on you the entire time, a small smile resting on his face out of habit.
i see… then .. mm .. do you feel like you rushed into something too quickly? like .. you were just so overwhelmed with a good emotion in the beginning? you don’t think it’ll be something that returns if that light ends up getting snuffed out..?
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ shifts my eyes towards you, lips pursed before glancing off past you
honestly. I don’t know what to feel..
whether I should be feeling this way or not
or whatever it is
it’s like … when you light a candle and the wick is strong in the beginning
but the more you let it burn it grows a little weak..
and you’re wondering just how long it takes before it burns out. so you’re just waiting
and watching for hours on end
@anton lee ᵗᵃʳˢᶦᵉʳ i-
he pauses before pulling away from his little teasings and tugging you back around to face him, concern in his eyes now.
is that .. how you’ve been feeling with me lately? are you .. not feeling anything?
@hong seunghan ᵛᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ closes my eyes and slowly inhales, deep with a quiet exhale before shifting my head slightly away
do you?
how would you know if you do.
what happens if im feeling numb instead and you never noticed it
