@Kim Jaejoong Minzy listened to the man, crossing her own arms under her chest as she heard him talk crap about her now. Well, if that's how he thought about her then so be it. Next time she really would pull the damn trigger. Not a millisecond after the door shut, a knife was lodge deeply into the door where Jaejoong's head had been a minute ago, the assassin straightening up before muttering about only just having missed her damn mark. Next time. Walking over to the door, she took the knife out and flipped it in her hand as she walked about her apartment, swearing about the man who'd just walked out her door, a man she wasn't going to let back through her door any time soon. Slotting the knife back into the block where she'd slipped it out from, the woman began cleaning up, dumping dishes in the sink with no intention of cleaning them. Why would she? She was in the last stages of moving in with Minho, someone who treated her how she needed, an equal, someone who loved her with all her faults. How was Minzy meant to trust a man again after he'd broken her so badly? No chance.
"Just wait, the nozzle will be pressed to your ing head soon enough..." Sighing to herself, the woman pressed her hand to her forehead, feeling sick as she sank to the floor in her kitchen, pulling her knees up as she ached all over again, mentally and emotionally raw.
@Gong Minji "well that was fun." jaejoong crossed his arms and took a deep breath. "so yeah it's my fault. i'm always the one who screws up every thing and does everything wrong. Wake the up minzy! That man i was when we met. I can never be him again because even if i try YOU won't let me. Since that whole fight about me cheating, even if i tell you the truth you won't believe a word i say. You won't give me the chance. nothing i do is good enought for you. you think you're so high and mighty? sure just go to minho. the only perfect gentleman for you is a man who keeps your heels. tell me does he call you mistress? do you like toying with the poor man? Cause i'm sure as hell that you did like toying with me." he scratched his neck and his heels towards the door. "Don't think this is over minzy. You made my life hell, allow me to return the favor." He stood at the door and looked back at her one last time. "next time you're holding a gun. pull the ing trigger" He walked out and slammed the door. He was so done with all of this. so extremely done. And yet part of him couldn't and didn't want to let go.
@Kim Jaejoong Minzy had to suppress her instinct to grab a kitchen knife and hold it to the man's throat when the hands turning her around were so sudden, her heart racing as she looked up at the man and saw he'd completely snapped with just a glance at his brown eyes. Listening quietly she felt sick, the man she'd once loved had turned into some maniac monster and was standing in front of her now with a stupid death wish. Her skin crawled when she heard him say someone had been using his body for their own ual gratification, her mind wondering how he could just let someone do that, how little self respect he must have now for his body alone. Turning her head aside, she couldn't stand to look at the older, he made her heart black and he made he cry, he hurt her so much and he was just breaking her heart all over again. Looking back up when her chin was tilted up and held onto, the purple haired assassin's eyes widened when she felt Jaejoong kiss her suddenly, her lips parted from the force of the kiss and her lips aching, swelling up from the sheer force of it all. Pressing her hand into the man's chest, the assassin winced at the pressure on her cut hand but managed to push the man back, her newly found strength coming into action at a time she didn't think she'd need.
"Have you finally lost your mind, Jaejoong? Don't you think it's a little too late to be saying all this /crap/ to me? I've had enough. Do you understand? GET OUT!" The woman growled, her own eyes flashing a deeper shade as her hands stayed still at her sides, deadly still.
"How dare you speak about Minho like that. Damn right he ing comforted me whilst you were comforting someone else in their bed or nursing yourself with a bottle of alcohol no doubt, screwing your own self over like the wallowing idiot you turned into. At least you finally understand it was and is all your fault. You're disgusting. I don't know you. I don't know this man in front of me. You've killed the man I once loved, the one I gave everything to. At least Minho can be a gentleman and stay a gentleman. He's not some two-faced jerk who does behind my back the minute it's turned. You refuse to leave? I /demand/ you leave. There's no place for you here". The assassin held out her hand, index finger extended as she pointed to the door of her apartment, rage burning in her eyes as she stared right back at Jaejoong.
@Gong Minji Jaejoong was hurt to say the least. Yes he had tried to tell her to go to this minho. but now that he did. it felt wrong. But he did it because he was such a ing coward. what's more was that ever since the figth about wether he was cheating or not, she didn't believe him anymore. even if he was telling the truth. Ever since then their relationship had only gone down hill because every time he said something even if his intentions were good, she just found a way to smash him. What was he doing here anyway? did he need closure? did he need to confirm his coward status forever? why did he give up anyway? yes it was damn tough to have minzy as a lover. but now he realized that if he didn't fight for her he could never really say that he loved her. He lost count of how many times he killed himself in his mind for being such a coward. and too weak. What happend to him? he used to be a man in the bloom of his youth. Strong, romantic. a fine man even though he was a little loose with his hands. Jaejoong looked up at minzy. He felt pain all over. Again he was crawling backwards and a coward. asking minzy to show him the door and go to minho. Jaejoong turned around but he only made one step towards the door before he finally snapped. a switch flipped in his mind and he turned around. "No. I'm not going. Even if you'll kill me i have to stop being such a coward. I mean why are we in this situation anyway? because i couldn't stand up to be a ing man." His eyes grew fierce. he knew minzy was an assassin. she could easily kill him for doing this. but he was sick and tired of backing off and letting misery take it's course through his life. "I shouldn't have told you.. The minute i adviced you to go to Minho i regretted it. I hate that bastard. And though i'm sure he comforted you. I hate his guts. I can't stand it that there is another man in your life. I know i messed up. beyond repair maybe. And i was trying to back out of it because i'm such a goddamn coward." he grabbed minzy by both her shoulders, gripping her tightly and turning her around. "You can kill me, send me to hell. i don't care anymore. I don't want it to end like this. I don't want to forget you. I rather die."
"blame me for everything, blame my goddamn personality for all the hurt we've been through. it's over now. i'll never be that guy again and to tell you honestly. No i don't have anyone waiting for me. There is someone that only uses my body for pleasure and doesn't give a damn if i were to be dead in a ditch somewhere someday. I only have you." There was fire in his eyes. Fire burning straight from hell. "maybe i will hurt you again and again. but i ing love you and i can't let go. i should never have been so weak in the first place." He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. "Kill me or let me back in. but i don't want to say good bye even if that means i destroy everything this way. It took me too long and too much hurt to realize that i love you so ing much... too much" He didn't care anymore. he didn't want this anymore. the constand angst and begging and crying. only now that it was really over he finally came to life and he refused to let go. dragging minzy down to hell with him. "i'm not going. i refuse to leave" He grabbed her and forced her into a kiss. Pulling her close against his body. Forcing her lips apart, nearly shoving his tongue inside.
@Kim Jaejoong Minzy watched her ex as he bandaged up her hand, not having pulled away and just listening to him, her round eyes lowered along with her head tilted down, lips parted as her breathing straightened out from its previous ragged state. Frowning as she listened to the older, all she heard was excuses again... It was the result of how he'd treated her, she struggled to trust him let alone anyone else because of how she'd been so badly lied to in the past.
"Jaejoong... I feel like you're just telling me to go to Minho. That you're giving up. That you've already got someone on the side to go to after I tell you no. I'd like to believe you, I honestly would but I can't, too much damage has been done so now I just feel like you're betraying me again... What happened to us?" Lifting her head and looking into the man's eyes she searched them for a slither of honesty, for a slither of the man she'd fallen in love with. She remembered how he'd been so strong, how sweet and romantic he'd been. The necklace, the ring, although gone both held an invisible weight on her body she just couldn't seem to shake off. Touching where the pendant of the world would be hanging, the assassin frowned and held her head quietly, eyes welling up once more as she'd heard those three words from her ex once more. Sighing and glancing away for a moment, the temptress cleared before looking dead into the other's eyes.
"Go. Leave. Don't come back... Don't let me see you again... We'll be like ghosts, we never knew each other, not really. This never happened... Believe it so we can move on, okay? Go..." Turning her back to the man, the woman wrapped her arms around her waist, one hand covering her face as she cried quietly into it, tired of everything she had with the man behind her, tired of love, tired of life and the grief it'd brought her.
@Gong Minji Jaejoong looked down when she slammed the glass on the table. There was something about a furious Minzy that made him unable to look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry" He murmered. His eyes trailing after her elegant movements. even when enraged she was still beautiful. Though a hint of concern flew over him when he noticed she had cut her hand. "Minzy.. I'm trying to work this out. I do. And i love you i really do.. I'm not trying to cowar out of anything." He walked over to her to look at her directly. he couldn't run anymore. he had to face her. He had to stop being a coward. "You are and always will be the best thing that has ever happend to me. And the biggest mistake i ever made was to mistreat you like i did." He stopped her in her tracks and helped her wrapping up her hand gently. Expecting her to pull back or tell him he had to keep his paws to himself. Perhaps even a slap in the face. he didn't know anymore. "The truth is i'm trying to find out what is best for us both. I know i can't do that on my own. i don't have the right to. because you should be allowed to make such a desicion yourself.." Jaejoong let go of her delicate hand when the wrapping was done and sighed. He had hurt her yet again. "i know i was the one to come begging for a second chance. But should we really attempt one? Minzy.. I know that there is a man waiting for you who has to offer you so much more then i do. And who will not break your heart again and again like i have done so many times and probably am doing now. I know i have no right to decide for you but i know what i see. What i see is a man far better for you then i am." Tears welled up in his eyes and he smiled bitterly thinking that maybe minzy thought he was trying to get her to pity him. while in fact these were just tears of grief and hurt because he wasn't sure how they would even continue this. the only logical end would be total break up. But then again more things in his life were not so logical. "I love you. and i always will. But i can't stand to keep breaking your heart. I want you to be happy but i believe that, as long as you are with me, you can't be happy. I am a man of many flaws Minzy. moreover far apart from you in age. The things i do or say would just anger you again over time. we would keep arguing until there is nothing left."
He took a deep breath and looked at her. "I ask you.. what is the best thing to do? try again or part ways? I leave the choice to you Minzy. and if you choose to part it will hurt me more then i can say. But i want the best for you. Honestly i don't know what to do so that's why i'm asking you to choose. because i cannot."
@Kim Jaejoong Minzy sat there in silence, her fury building as the man before her had had the audacity to ask for dinner and was now not passing a single word from those plump lips of his. Her own meal finished, she crossed one of her long legs over the other as she leaned back in her chair, one hand in her lap whilst the other held a glass of red wine to her crimson lips. As far as patience went, she'd been pretty lenient with the man but now, now she'd had enough. Finishing the alcohol in the glass, cracks began to appear in the item, the assassin slamming it down on the table and causing a long crack to run through the stem of the glass but not shatter, not yet.
"Jaejoong. You're been silent throughout the entire meal. Did you just come here to annoy me? I'm... I'm giving you a second chance and you're throwing it back in my face. Do /not/ make me regret tonight, more so for your sake than mine." Standing up and knocking over her chair as she did so, the ebony haired woman picked up the plates, stacking them on each other before she moved to her kitchen, dumping the items in the sink before she lowered her head and frowned, struggling to keep calm. Glancing down at her palm that stung, the woman unfurled her hand to see a cut across her flesh, sighing she ran it under a stream of cold water from the tap, her once warm chocolate orbs as stony as ever now.
"I still love you, Jae. But... but you're just going to cower out of this once again, aren't you? I hate you so much too... I do, I really do. But I've protected you this long, loved you, mourned over the loss... I tried not to blame myself, I tried but..." The younger trailed off, flicking off the tap and staring at her palm, sighing as she saw more blood rise to the surface. Tutting and bandaging it up, the woman flexed her fingers before walking over to her ex, only stopping until she was in front of him, looking into his eyes and frowning with a distraught confusion.
@Gong Minji Jaejoong felt his nerves act up when he walked through the door and a glass of wine was put in his hand. He knew his background as an alcoholic would take over as soon as he took a sip while he was so nervous so he decided to leave the wine for what it is. She looked gorgeous. As allways. Perhaps even more so then normal. And Jaejoong cursed himself for ever mistreating her so and being so wrong to screw up and then let her go. He should have hated himself more instead of pitying himself. He should have stopped where he continued. He should have done manythings he only regretted once it was too late. And he didn't want that again. Had he been a puppy he would have walked in with his tail between his legs. He didn't know where to start or what to say or what words to use to her. he didn't want to upset her or make her angry. But somewhere he just knew his presence was already having it's effect on her.
He was dressed simply but casual black dresspants he plucked from one of his suits. a white tanktop covered by a white button up closed up further then normal. He didn't want to seem his usual dispicable self in front of her. And a black jacket with a white hankerchief in it's chestpocket. Black socks and shoes to accompany the whole poor excuse that was Jaejoong. The idiot who would forever be marked as a cheater and a traitor and a pathetic alcoholic who pitied himself over all too much for his own good. Maybe she was right to leave him after all. Maybe she should go with the guy that was trying to make a move on her and capture her heart. Perhaps he was a better match to her then jaejoong was. Even though that thought pained him more then anything. He knew that the thought could have occured to Minzy too. So he was grateful he was given this tiny change. Although it was close to nothing yet still by far, much more then he deserved.
He sat down at the table and looked over the food she made. a small warm smile appeared on his face which quickly fell again because he was too nervous to keep it up. "You look beautiful Minzy. And the food smells delicious." He wanted to tell her she didn't have to go to this extend. but he was afraid she might be taking that the wrong way so he refrained from saying it. He tried to look at her but because of guilt he could never keep his gaze at her for long. He ate in silence. Though he didn't ate much. Not because he didn't like it. he could eat until he'd explode with this kind of food. But his nerves wouldn't let him. If he ate too much he would just throw up and he wanted to prevent that so he didn't ate much.
Finally he placed down his fork and dared to touch his wine. knowing for sure he wouldn't lose his composure if he drank.
@Kim Jaejoong As Minzy heard the knock to her apartment, she'd just finished bringing out the last dish she'd cook for her meal tonight with her ex, placing it down on the table before she slipped off her apron and folded it, leaving it on the side as she picked up the two glasses of wine she'd poured and brought them to the door. Standing back from it a little, she told the older it was unlocked and that he could come in, looking at the man as he did so before she handed him one of the glasses of wine she'd been holding for the two.
"You're right on time..." she murmured, sipping the liquid from her glass before moving into the dining area, waving for him to take a seat as she popped her glass back down and disappeared into the kitchen for a moment more. Returning soon after with the rest of the bottle of wine, she laid it down on the table, hesitating before she sat down in her chair and interlinked her fingers in front of her, resting her dainty chin on them. The temptress was dressed in a dress, a Chinese traditional one that had the collar come up to her chin, a pretty oval shape cut out just above her s and the slits on the dress reaching her hips, black tights with flowers imprinted on them crawling up her long legs like vines. Her hair was tied up in a bun save for her fringe that fell over her right eye as always, lips glossed over and nails matching her crimson and black dress too. Clearly she was going to treat tonight with as much fairness as she could and would not be beating Jaejoong up like he thought, she'd talk to him and try to listen, even if all she wanted to do was to crawl away and hide somewhere away from the one man who hurt her so badly.
Jaejoong listened to her words which felt like daggers plunged in all over him. He knew he screwed up. He was wrong to think at the time that the woman had been posessive. he tried to use the city and his surroundings as an excuse that no one lived happily without any form of cheating. He had been wrong. And paid the price dearly for it.
He flinched at her words but swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. He felt like he was being choked when he heard that another man tried to conquer her heart. He saw his changes grew slimmer and slimmer. if only he hadn't been such an idiot at the time. they wouldn't be in this mess. and he wouldn't feel like she wanted to trample all over him. which he knew inside she felt like trampling over him and use him as a personal punching back for what he did.
He nodded again and told her that he would be there before she left. His eyes closed and his hand slid in his pocket. taking out the necklace that he once gave here. He caressed it between his fingers. He chose to love the pure representative of justice. and burned his hands while playing with fire.
He put the necklace back in his pocket and went home. cancelling his workscedule. tossed everything on his agenda aside. He prepaired himself and when the time came he stood there in front of the door. half an hour early. waiting. For what he didn't know. maybe she wanted to teach him a lesson. Maybe she wouldn't show up because he was an . Maybe she'd show up and beat him up behind closed doors. Maybe something else. He didn't know. All he knew was that if he blew it now nothing would ever grant him acces to her life again. Then he'd lose her forever.
@Kim Jaejoong Minzy felt sick to her core every single time the man said the word 'love' so easily in front of her, her purple painted nails digging into her palms as she sat there and fumed silently. She had absolutely no sympathy for the man when he said he'd resorted to drink, so? He wouldn't have had to if he'd gotten his together in the first place and acted how a fiance should have. Yelling that at him now would do nothing though, the woman knew that for she too had changed, become a little more wiser thanks to the mistakes of the man sitting in front of her now.
"So you're begging for a second chance? The thought of you still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, Jaejoong. I guess I should be grateful to you though, you helped pull that last girl part out of me when we broke off the marriage, now there's just woman in front of you and no space for weakness. The Minzy you knew has been destroyed. I'm not about to just give you a second chance, you have none of my trust in the slightest and besides, there's someone else vying for my affections right now." the assassin released her curled fists and sighed as she saw the marks in her palms.
Dusting her hands off against one another, she rubbed them against her trousers before flicking her fringe out of her eyes, raising her orbs to look at her ex once more. He was right about one thing, he certainly deserved all the resentment the younger felt inside for him, she just wasn't going to show him it in childish ways like screaming and throwing hissy fits, at least not in public.
"Don't count this as a second chance but tonight, I'll return to my suite by eight o'clock. You know how to get in, I'll have to find my key since I don't live there anymore. Regardless, be late and I'll leave with your minuscule chance out the door as well." standing tall, the beautiful woman glanced over her shoulder at the older before exiting the small cafe, her feet not even making a single sound and leaving her perfume to be the only trace of her left.
@Gong Minji Jaejoong sighed as he knew he could hid nothing from the woman. she probably knew more about him then he could ever know about her. she probably also knew about who's target he was and why. things he was oblivious to.
He also knew she was probably fed up with him and wanted to bash his skull in already. He had very little chance of getting back on her good side. because he had made more then mistakes. he made wrong and bad choises in the time they were still together. and now he regretted that. more then anything.
he knew he had been selfish. wanting to taste the pleasure of multiple partners while the best one was right there in his arms. he screwed up big time because he didn't want to be tied down. but he had mistaken being tied down with having love.
and he hated himself for it. for all those things he did to her because he couldn't think with his head instead of his . she had every right not to give him a second chance. he sighed deeply trying to gather courage to still ask for one. a second chance. though he didn't deserve it.
But he loved her too much to let go. He wanted to show her he realized that he was wrong. that he changed only when it was too late. that he should never break her heart again.
hell he wasn't even sure if she would even give him the chance. the way he had been acting. he only hoped that somewher her love for him would be strong enough to grand him a second chance. and that his love for her was big enough to keep him on the right path. though of the second one he was sure. because he was lost without her.
"alright. if you want me to talk fine. i'll be honest with you. Since our breakup i've been drinking. i've been drinking every night until i'd puke my guts out because i felt miserable. until i realised the fault was indeed mine. I sobered up as far as i could. being an alcoholic i still drink much that will be an addiction hard to get rid off."
"since i lost you i didn't touch a single person anywhere. I've noticed my behavior only when it was too late and i'm disgusted by it. you were different. it was your job. you didn't have much choice and even that changed for me. i didn't have that kind of job and i still... well i'm an for having done that."
"since i walked out of your door i've been aching every day. i miss you. i feel terrible. i know fully well that it's my fault and that i deserve no better then this. but i still love you. every day i feel that. every day i know that. every day i still love you and i still carry that necklace in my pocket."
he took a deep breath. "now i know i have no right what so ever to be asking this. and you have every right to deny me or even hit me square in the face. you have every right to curse at me to toss me off a building. or do i don't know what. but... "
"i want a second chance. i want you back. i want to show you that i changed and i want to show you that i love you. i was a fool for realizing too late that what i had was worth more then anything and i was busy litterly ing that up. but i realize now. i'm clean i'm over. and i love you. no matter what."
he breathed out deeply. "i'm going to fight harder then ever to get you back. because i really want that second chance."
he ended his speech looking her in the face. not knowing whether to expect rage or her laughing at him. or her simply ignoring him and walk away. he just sat there looking at the woman he loved. prepaired for almost anything. even being turned down.
@Kim Jaejoong Minzy crossed her arms over her chest as she watched the man sit down and finally begin to speak, unable to help the emotions swirl up and around inside of her as she listened to him but placed on an expressionless mask she knew he wouldn't be able to see through.
Her one foot bobbed up and down a little as it rested over her other leg, the only sign she was agitated in his presence and why wouldn't she be? She quickly took out her phone when the man was done speaking, texting the person she was meant to meet and saying she'd be late.
Raising her head as she slipped the phone back into her pocket, the younger parted her glossy red lips and spoke up, chin tilted, showing she wouldn't be hurt or at least not let on how much she was still aching.
"Say everything you want to say to me, the things you think will hurt and won't, the things you think I want to hear and don't. Speak like it's your last chance to talk to me because it might just very well be." switching her legs over, the younger leaned back into her chair, ignoring his previous comment about her looking good.
"Oh, keep the shirt or throw it away, I don't care what you do with it." the purple haired woman shrugged a little, staring into Jaejoong's eyes quietly, knowing just as well as he that this conversation would be one of the hardest both would have had in their lives.
@Gong Minji Jaejoong feared there would be such an answer. that everything still got pinned down on him. Well she was right to blame him. after all he slept around when it wasn't his job. But he didn't understand that when he stopped doing that she couldn't believe him. maybe because he lied one too many times.
it was a mystery to him how her mind worked. what she was thinking or how she took his words. he had no idea half the time how she would react because he simply wasn't thinking the same way she did. perhaps she was smarter. perhaps she was just different.
He let out a short sigh trying to reorganize everything in his head. because he was clearly a mess right now. He inwardly shook his head to her words. finding them the opposite of how she looked.
"i think i have too many things to say. things you might want to hear. things you might not want to hear." he said while he sat down on his previous spot. the woman in front of him. "you look good"
A fact of all honesty. she really looked good. despite what he did to her. despite what happend to them in the past few months. she looked like she was coping.
"i'm the CEO of my company yes. but i don't have any important meetings planned today. i have time. most of my work is office work anyway."
He let his hands out of his pocket but kept them under the table. away from her eyes. He was still shaking. not knowing how to stop he just hid it.
"i found one of your black shirts in my closet. I didn't bring it with me but i think you might want it back.."
The conversation didn't go smooth. Jaejoong was having trouble to find words that would sound natural and wouldn't call off a certain emotion from him or her. but it was hard. he didn't want her to think he was purposely acting all pathetic and sorry as if he was about to cry. But he didn't want to insult her either or make her angry.
@Kim Jaejoong Minzy rolled her eyes inwardly at the man's choice of words, laughing shortly before she spoke.
"You won't mess up my pans, you already messed up my life. Spit out what you have to say to me Jaejoong, I won't bite." she knew how ironic her words sounded when she probably looked just about ready to rip the man's head off.
Keeping her hands in her pockets she could see how the man put on so clearly for her to see how weak he was, tortured. If he thought she was any better of he was wrong. He'd ruined he from the start and it was time he came to admit it.
Shifting her weight onto her left foot this time, the younger watched Jaejoong, hating how even now if it came to it she knew she wouldn't be able to hurt him physically. Why ruin her work when she'd strived so hard to protect it, even without his knowing.
"I doubt I'm the only busy one anyway, especially if you have your company still going right?" glancing at the door, the woman sighed before sitting down at the table, crossing one of her long legs over the other and waiting again.
@Gong Minji Jaejoong took a deep breath. this definitly wasn't going to be as easy as he thought it would be. or as wise. perhaps he shouldn't have forced her to stay around him a moment longer.
She looked like she was ready to fling him through the cafe. to kick his out on the street and severly injure him there. Like a tiger, claws ready to ripp apart whatever was a threat to it.
Compared to Minzy, Jaejoong felt tiny, helpless and above all weak and pathetic. here she was. strong as ever. Eyes piercing him to show him she was still strong. She didn't cave in like he did when all of this ended.
Even though she was a lot younger she was the stronger one of the two. Jaejoong knew that very well.
He pushed his hands his pockets. not wanting to let her know how much he was shaking at that moment. He realized she had her own life now and he didn't fit in. She was busy. he wasn't priority anymore.
"perhaps, if this is not the right time we could meet here when you are not in a hurry? I don't want to mess up your plans" He said. not sure if he chose the right tactic or line of words for this.
He used to know a little about what would anger her or how she would understand something being said. not anymore. he had no idea what to say or how she would react on it.
@Kim Jaejoong When Minzy felt her wrist being grabbed, she had to suppress the urge to roundhouse kick the living daylights out of her ex, knowing that her assassin senses wouldn't help the situation at all right now. Inhaling through her nose, the younger waited for the other to release his grip on her before she even contemplated turning around.
Turning on her heels, the woman looked up at the man, raising one of her eyebrows as she could see his emotions as clear as ever shining in his eyes. How he seemed to feel betrayed, hard done by and the victim of the whole situation. Well if that's how he felt then she wouldn't even bother trying to be civil about it.
"I'm here, so talk." she kept her hands in her pockets, hiding her curling and uncurling tight fists, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as she kept her steady gaze on Jaejoong's. She herself didn't care that they were in a cafe, she'd take it outside if it escalated horrible but if others were to see, then let them.
One of the waiters was watching already, someone the purple haired youth had made friends with and a good friend to her. She glanced at him, shaking her head as if to tell him she was fine, that he wouldn't have to help. After some reluctance, the male nodded and returned to his job, his orbs flickering over now and then though.
"Hurry up Jaejoong, I have to meet someone." the woman was running out of patience and quickly, being in the man's presence made her feel uneasy, like she shouldn't have laid eyes on him in the small shop in the first place let alone said something and just walked out like he was so willing to do.
@Gong Minji Jaejoong bit his lip when he saw the expression she wore when she saw him. yes he cowered away. but at least in all this time apart he had become an honest man. mostly. he was still copying stuff. faking stuff. but he hadn't touched anyone since their break up. All the people he had were rudely send out of his life as he took his time to clean everything thougroughly. though he knew he was already too late for some reason losing what he had made him clean up his act better then anything.
It was stupid really. that he had to go through a break up to get rid of his bad habits. He couldn't see now why he couldn't do it before. probably because he was an idiot.
He shrunk a little in his seet as his former lover came to him on clicking heels her appearance slightly intimadating to him. he knew her profession and that did not help him relax.
She was still stunning though. Beautiful and breathtaking as allways. Reflecting the light around her in a special way. How many times had he dreamed of her this way? he lost count. but his dreams always ended up in nightmares. in the end she always showed him the door.
He cleared his throat as he wanted to say something but she took the lead. not only rudely saying hello but scolding him right away. He flinched and swallowed visibly.
In a reflex his hand was around her thin wrist. a wrong move to do to an assasin but he felt the need to stop her from walking out of his life again. He looked up at her. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me. can you... sit down for a moment?"
His words dribbled pathetically over his lips. as weak as he was. at least he didn't look like he normally did after getting drunk and wasted almost every night until he'd puke his guts out. Instead of he took up his alcoholism. drinking way to much way too often.
He had the right to blame himself for part of what happend. and refused to believe other wise. though he knew deep down he wasn't the only one to blame. yes he had been more then an . but when he finally had quit. within the time she gave him. she wouldn't here of it. she didn't give him a chance.
both parties were to blame. though he wasn't going to speak about that now. argueing in the midst of a busy cafe wasn't going to do them much good. He just wanted to talk. quietly.
He realized he was still holding her wrist and forced himself to let go of her thin feline frame. "sorry. but i do want to talk to you. It is good to see you minzy"
@Kim Jaejoong Minzy had found herself with one of her days off on her hands and thus in the small cafe she loved so much, sitting in her usual chair and holding her usual drink between her hands, hot chocolate with a hint of peppermint to it. Her hair was still purple, longer though as it now reached at least to her shoulder blades.
She wore a knitted dress over black denims, fingerless gloves covering her dainty hands that were wrapped so securely around the steaming little mug in her hand. She'd been looking out the window, watching the snow fall from the white clouds above, frowning a little as she hated the winter weather a lot.
With another sip and swallow from her mug, she'd glanced up, her orbs settling on a familiar stranger, the one man she'd been protecting all this time in her line of work, the one man who could make her feel so rotten about everything she wanted to cry just thinking about it.
He hadn't changed, maybe thinner, but otherwise the same man she'd had leave her. Looking away, she didn't fail to notice how even after all this time he'd play the coward and pretend she didn't exist, fine by her. Finishing her drink, the assassin half slammed the mug down, standing and slipping on her parka jacket.
Walking past the counter, she thanked and smiled at the baristas on her way out, her heels clicking on the laminate flooring until she came to a stop at Jaejoong's table. Drumming her elegantly painted nails on the wood, she lowered her head, looking into the other's eyes with her own stunning orbs.
"Guess I'll be the brave one, huh? Hey Jae, nice to see you. Or maybe not, guess that's why you didn't come over huh? Well, guess I'll see you around." the woman didn't bother telling him of how she'd saved his so many times now, what good what it do? He'd ed around at all the wrong times, she's given him more than the time he claimed, she'd been fair, he was the one who hadn't.
Giving a short smile, the woman put her hands in her pockets before turning to leave again, her all to familiar scent lingering in the air behind her as she made her way to the door.
@Gong Minji Since the day he walked out of the door of minzy's apartment Jaejoong had been feeling empty and hollow. THough he was free to do what he wanted he lost all desire to be with anyone at all. not understanding himself for needing that when he had what he needed most right beside him. now through his own stupid mistakes and other things he didn't forsee he lost the only thing he cared about. Nothing could fill that hole. He changed the way he was doing business. And he rejected the men and women flirting with him in the bar. He stopped physical contact with anyone. Not wanting to sleep with anyone just like that ever again.
He worked, he ate, he slept alone in his bed. but he wasn't really feeling alive. now and then Zhou Mi had to come and check up on him to make sure he wouldn't do anything stupid. Thought slowly jaejoong's suicidal rate went down he continued to be lustless.
Finally after a month and a half. he ran into the very reason of his state and his life when he walked into the cafe he usually had a cup of coffee at before going to work and before going home. He froze at the door when he saw minzy sitting in a corner. Not knowing what to do he decided he could keep standing in the door opening and it was cold outside so he walked up to the counter to order his usual coffee.
He was debating in himself. not knowing what to do. to go say hello, how are you and the usual crap. or just letting her know he saw her and not to go talk to her. or ignore her at all? pretending not to know she's here?
eventually he went with the second option. he locked eyes with her for a moment. the most painful and longest moment of his life. then he clenched his free hand to a fist and sat down at a table. He didn't know if she wanted to talk to him. but if she wanted she could go to him. if she didn't want to she could leave.
Shaking he sipped from his coffee. Feeling uncomfortable. and afraid his world would crash again at any time.
@Kim Jaejoong Sighing as the man had left, Minzy had watched his retreating figure in the mirror to her left, the weight he'd taken from her finger and neck leaving her to feel light and almost dizzy in the head. Covering her face with her hands, the woman soon retired to bed for the night, settling down and crying herself to sleep as there was no other way besides exhaustion she'd get any rest.
Weeks and soon a month passed by, the assassin living her life as she once had before only to feel a huge loss at her side, the nights spent alone unless her part-time old job called for another situation. She would glance at her phone now and then, debating whether or not to delete Jaejoong's number, to completely erase the man she truly loved from her life all together and to finally try and find some real peace in her life after their tragedy.
Having found herself at a local cafe with a rare day off, the younger rested her chin in her palm, watching the people hurry past and complete their days without so much as a single worry. Tears no longer stung her ice, her heart having grown too cold to feel the melting warmth the small crystal-like droplets could bring anymore.
[it's okay. Mine just keep getting longer. i swear i never wrote such a book before xD i guess drama inspires me. but after this one i think they will be short again. so.. again sorry for the book work xD]
@Gong Minji Jaejoong just stared at the ring in his hands. For a few moments he was quiet. Mumbling when he spoke. Never raising his voice above the normal conversation volume. It had no use. shouting at her. He knew he blew it. "So now it's about my ing attitude? God, every one here ends up on the radar of every one. Eventually even the innocent lose themselves in this system." he muttered. But he didn't protest. in someways she was right. He had acted like he wasn't tied to anyone. But hadn't he tried to change it all? And he was still trying until the moment she showed him the door. And that's when he broke. Maybe he had been right all these years. the very reason he was what he was. Love was doomed to fail. It wasn't ment for people like him. He closed his hand tight around the ring. He looked up to see her back turned at him. He refused to let more tears fall but he felt them burn in his eyes like the painful fires of hell. "then... The necklace? are you keeping it or shove it right back to me to take that too?" he didn't try to plead her to let him stay. the way she talked. and her words. her mind was made up. If he tried to stay she would kill him before he could kill her. Because eventually that was the bitter reality. He was killing her slowly. That's how she felt. He got up slowly and gathered his things packing them in silence. Every thing he took was another cut through his heart. Every moment spending getting ready to walk out of that door was filled with pain and exhaustment. his steps getting heavier and eventually he dragged his body before her to receive the final item he had to take with him. the necklace. With it he looked at her one last time. His heart shattered. He could nearly hear the pieces fall inside his mind. Then he turned his back at her. "I hope it works out for you. I hope you can live and breathe again. And i hope that if someone wants me dead again, you do your job the way you should. no hesitation. no mercy. no exception." He knew that she would probably just yell at him that he shouldn't tell her what to do so he didn't give her the chance to answer. He walked out of the door and closed it softly behind him. refusing to slam with it even though he felt a mixture of pain and anger inside. along with sadness and the painful stinging of his broken heart. He made his way to his own apartment quickly. Closing the door behind him once he was inside. Only then he allowed himself to fully break down. Sliding down with his back against the door. Until he was seated on the ground. He wasn't sobbing. no... he was crying his heart out. Loud and painful. Screaming, choking, kicking and hyperventilating. His shirt got soaking wet. He couldn't care. His lungs burned because he couldn't breathe between the cries. He didn't give a . He knew he was a broken man even before he met her. But he hadn't been this broken in years. maybe not even in his entire life. He curled himself up to a ball and tried to calm himself. but he failed miserably. As his arms around him merely felt like a cold cage. Trapped inside himself. He would never be able to bring himself comfort. But he didn't have anyone who could. His bestfriend wasn't around to catch him. They went seperate ways and he was now married. Jaejoong himself didn't have true friends who would stick with him through his troubles. only now he realized how lonely he actually was. Utterly and completely alone.
@Kim Jaejoong (It's okay, sorry mine isn't as long and that it took so long.)
"Get out. Get out of my suite right now before I do something I'll regret Jaejoong. Don't you dare tell me I'm lying. Don't you get it? I have links now, I /know/ of half the things you do because you're usually on my client's radar. Do you know I was told to kill you one of the times because you've been causing trouble? I quite clearly refused, now my own life is in danger because I refused the man. But I did it, for you, whilst finding out the kind of attitude you carry out at work. What do I want? Jaejoong, I want to be with you, to have you, to be by your side. I want you to stay but... It hurts and I don't want to see the look in your eyes of questioning me about whether or not I love you. I don't want to hear your words about how you think I'm the one lying because I'm /not/. Now go. I'm letting you be free to do all the tings you want, all the things I clearly can't give you enough of. I'm standing back, I'm not holding you down so go. Go away and go live how you want. Don't you ever think you were a replacement or bring up my past relation, that isn't fair. Your love is crippling me and I can't live like this, you're killing me Jaejoong. I can't sit here or be distracted at work when I know the attitude you have... Of course I want to marry you,I want to have a family, to move away, to grow old but... I... I can't do that with you, not after what you've done. And take this... I won't be needing of it let alone deserving, you'll find a finger that it fits better to..." Minzy pulled of the engagement ring from her finger, handing it to the older before she turned her back on him, the tears rolling down her cheeks at the words she'd spoken, knowing she was right about him and that he'd just crossed the line, she couldn't take it anymore, not if she was even to barely live.
@Gong Minji Jaejoong shook his head lightly. "that's not true" he said it barely above a whisper. He had trouble wrapping his head around the situation he now found himself in. and minzy's words were hurting him more then he could say. did she still think that he was lying? why? what would it take for her to believe that he was telling the truth? He got up from his knees like she asked but he was shaking so much that he quickly sat down on the other end of the couch. away from her since she probably didn't want him to be so close right now. he tried to figure things out as he also tried to stop his sobbing. but he couldn't stop a silent tear from coming out every now and then. He was confused. a mixture of anger, fear and sadness played through his body. but he knew shouting and burstin out into anger wouldn't help them. so he tried to come up with a calm answer. he tried to talk this out like adults. but on the inside he felt very small. like a lost child. "i just don't understand. why so suddenly? i mean... this must have been playing through your mind longer then today... It must have played through your mind before. If you were thinking of it this way then why did you say yes when i asked you to marry me? why didn't you say no?" he shook his head unable to get a full grip on the answer. "i'm just trying to understand. also... why do you keep saying that i'm lying? do you really believe that? Minzy you gave me a week. and i cut all my ties in that week even the business related ones. If i've been lying to you then please tell me what i said. because i thought i told you the truth. if i'm wrong in that then where or what did i do wrong?" He told her all the questions on his mind. still not able to believe that this was actually the end. not able to grab the fact that she said goodbye to him. Suddenly a terrible fact filled his mind. She thought he kept lying. she always said he was lying... did he really lie to her? or was it the other way around? Did she even really love him? "minzy... you keep telling me that i'm the one lying... but is that true? am i really the only one? from what i hear from you... can i even believe that you love me as much as you say you do? did you ever love me so much at all? or was it all just a soothing game because of the love you once lost? Was i a replacement?" he wiped his tears away. unable to cry anymore. more confused then ever he sat there trying to wrap his head around the facts. he was in love with minzy. but had that made him blind? "And you're telling me this is the end of it? maybe you should have killed me. or made me cripple. or are you just doing what you said to me then?: making me suffer. Is that what you want? Please just tell me what you want. because i'm completely clueless now."
@Kim Jaejoong Minzy watched as the man fell to his knees after breaking away, her heart shattering at the sight before she remembered all the pain she'd been put through by the one man and all the pain he was still putting her through. The man was greasy for a start, she knew what he was like on the job, she wasn't blind.
"Jaejoong, don't beg me, get up off of your knees. I know what you're like. Yes, yes you've cut down on sleeping with people but your attitude as barely changed. It's like this now, 'Oh, I can't sleep with you because I'm taken but hey, if it's for business, hint hint, then I'll sleep with you'. So don't cry in front of me. Certainly don't ask /me/ if there's someone else, I'm sure there's plenty waiting for you with their legs spread, right? Maybe I shouldn't have asked you to try and change, all it did was bring about this awfulness in our relationship. Jae, I love you so much but you're just making me break up into little shards each day. I don't want you to be with me if it's like that let alone marry me in this state. So go, go sleep with whoever you want, run your business as efficiently as it was before but don't drag a young girl who is helplessly in love with you into the mud for enjoyment. Times up Jae, we need some space and this is it." the woman inhaled through her nose, looking at Jaejoong quietly and not accepting any more lies, she couldn't and wouldn't take more of them. Let the man sleep around, let him run his business as he wants, let him be in love with another, she would turn her back on it all before it was too late.
@Gong Minji Jaejoong froze at her words. "what?" he couldn't believe what he was hearing. before he knew it. tears started to fill his eyes. rapidly dripping from his face. "but... i don't understand. why? why would you do this to me minzy?" his lips started quivering and his body shaking as he took distance from her by sitting further away from her. shaking his head in disbelieve. "I mean i know we're hurting. but weren't we working through it? You... you even changed your job for me. I changed my lifestyle to be with you. i... i..." his voice broke and shook under his endless sobbing. A sharp pain filled him and now he knew how it felt to lose everything you ever cared about. Minzy broke his heart and the shards were stinging in his chest. so painful he couldn't bare it. "i even asked you... i asked you to marry me... a-and you said yes..." again he shook his head. "I don't understand. What is it? is there someone else? is it because i made a mistake. please tell me." he went on his knees for her. "please just tell me what i did wrong. i'll fix it. don't leave me please. Minzy i can't... i can't do this." his sobbing only got worse. He felt like his eyes were burnind and stinging with tears. his lungs were burning as he felt he couldn't breathe. out of all the things she could have said to him, this was the last he was expecting. and it hurted.