♕ Balcony

@[RM] Elle Fanning 'P-PLEASE!'

He was forced into consciousness by a nightmare, he felt the liquid crimson surging through minuscule veins grow cold, living frostbite burning underneath him at its wake. But nightmares don't occur in dreams for him, well, not anymore. Nightmares came in flashes of blood, carcass after carcass with limbs severed and blood flowing down gaping wounds and back to earth, scarlet smeared and tarnishing his fingers. Nightmares were the truth - a moment in his history that he had so desperately tried to forget. Secrets were hidden beneath easy-going smiles, in makeshift burial sites that lacked tombstones;

No one was supposed to remember them, not when they're made to disappear all of a sudden, gone without a trace. Their memories die along with their pulse, and as Earth starts covering them and the bodies decompose and return to dust: it was Lu Han that kept them alive.

He didn't believe in ghosts but he thinks he's being haunted.

This was retribution, he thought. For the young soul that had thought that providing for his family in any way possible was the way to become a man. Retribution came in voices, sobs replayed by his subconscious - begging, screaming, breathing...then not breathing. He was passionate about forgetting, but in his subconscious are layers of the same moments; darkness, blood, tears, sweat and a dying conscience, reminding him that forgetting was a luxury he will never be granted. He'd unwillingly remember the pleading, as if he had become their momentary God - tear-filled eyes were laden with reverence that was cast upon him. They die with their eyes open, and it was Han that closed them. You always get what you don't want.

'Foolish little boy. You are not God, why did you agree to play as such?'

"I think my mind has gone against me," he whispered almost helplessly to the wind, maybe to the moon - she remained his only witness after all. Did she hate him as much as he hated himself? He slowly came back to a pseudo-relaxed state, his fingers tapped unconsciously against the cold surface of the terrace, the ghost of ice seeping through his fingertips, the cold was not as welcomed as he is accustomed to it, he's met the harshest winters before without so much of an extra layer of clothes or adipose, he remained a home to an impeding blizzard that was housed within his dying resolution. Gusts of wind picked up the soft tufts of his hair, the dark strands swayed along with the breeze and Lu Han could only hope that the breeze could take him somewhere his mind could not, since all it could do was keep his stuck to a place he didn't want to come back to.

/You always get what you don't want.../

He turned around, slowly, his dark, umber orbs settled on a figure not too far away. The silhouette remained nothing but an outline filled with darkness; but he could not look away.

/...But it was always easy to pretend like otherwise./

[post deleted by owner]

@[D] Lu Han Between the rise and fall of the orchestral strings, the lull between one dance and the next, Elle stole away from the dance floor and out of the ballroom, passing the dining room and on her way to the balcony. The sweet aroma of pastries hung tantalisingly in the air, beckoning to her but Elle merely spared the room a glance, her footsteps unfaltering. She wasn't hungry. Tonight, she was filled with something more worthwhile. She was full of the intangibles this night had to offer, the endless hum of energy she believed could last her for eternity.

As lush carpets transitioned into marble painted pale yellow under the moonlight, Elle was disappointed to find that the place was not as empty as she hoped it would be. Maybe she should have listened to advice and paid more attention to the amount of invitations she had sent out for the event. Regardless of her selfish musings, Elle inclined her head graciously at the group of people that had gathered near the entrance as she passed them, moving towards the end of the balcony, where she would be nearer to the vegetation surrounding the palace. The parapets were chill to the touch, rendered cooler than she was used to by the night air. She never had a chance to admire the night sky for what it was worth, Elle realised as she raised her eyes to the heavens. She was always bogged down with circus duties. Goosebumps crept along the length of her exposed arms, and Elle contemplated warming herself up with magic for a second before deciding against it. There was no saying whether the group of people would sense the change in temperature and as it was, she wasn't bothered by the cold. At least it was natural.

Fingers dancing to an imaginary tune in her mind, Elle inhaled the crisp air that could only be found where greenery reigned. A gentle smile curved her lips as she lost herself in the tranquility of the night, the distant city lights glimmering on the back of her lids, eyes only snapping open when laughed intruded her consciousness, splintering her concentration.

"I don't remember much of my childhood, actually-"

Elle straightened upon the utterance of those words. Resisting the urge to glance behind her yet desiring to know the details of the discussion going on, Elle curled her fingers into a beckoning gesture, her curiosity getting the better of her. Extending her conscious mind to her surroundings, Elle coaxed a breeze from the wind, the words floating to her in bits and pieces. The more she heard, the sharper her gaze became.

"I don't remember much of my childhood."

Who was the speaker, and what did he mean by that? Elle tried to sneak a peek over her shoulder but they were too far and the illumination too low for her to glimpse anything. Elle's mind sorted through the possible answers with the speed of one who had considered all possible permutations and implications of such a statement and went through them countless times. "Don't get ahead of yourself," Elle whispered softly, and yet she couldn't help the stirrings of excitement deep within her, her body tingling with nerves she never thought could tingle. For the second time that night, Elle wished for the powers of another. Not Sebastian but Heechul, he who had the ability to implant thoughts into minds so she could compel the others to depart, leaving her and the stranger she was interested in. It wasn't the first time she had heard something like that, but the tone in which /this person/ said it was different. This had to be the real deal. It had to be.

[post deleted by owner]

@ [RM] Elle Fanning He had always preferred the stillness and the quiet provided by isolation over too much company - maybe because it was his own company that was all he's ever known. Loneliness was something he often combated with a bottle of liquor, maybe not in the amounts to get intoxicated, but enough to bring warmth into his winter-laden bones. It's a vast expanse of scenery that he faced as he crouched over the balcony, his elbows propped on top of cement and concrete while he stared outside; it's nothing like what he's grown up with - Lu Han used to know of makeshift houses made of meager scraps of wood, dust, iron and rain pouring from the holes of dilapidated, roofs, not the grandeur and luxury; the comfort of his living today.

"I don't remember much of my childhood, actually-", Lu Han laughed sheephishly, he's evasive, he remembers smoothly lying about giving out information he would rather not have if he ever had his way, memories were always so troublesome after all - he's soon left alone, like he always was, with the same bottle to keep him company - liquid poison dragged down his smooth throat before it's set away, leaving warmth at its wake before it settles in his stomach, he laughs to himself, shaking his head while he muttered to no one in particular, "I don't remember much at all."