ᴛʜe ꜰrame

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ That— that I don't doubt. /once the tear pauses at the corner of your lips, I tilt my head and lean in to softly brush my lips across it; my eyes fall shut and I keep my palm gently cupping your cheek./ If I ever left you... I would run right back to you, Kim Hyungsoo. If anything, you complete me— without you there is no me. And I just... I just don't want to fail you as a wife. I know... I know this isn't ideal, this probably isn't what you would have ever really wanted for yourself, but I want to be a good wife. I want to be as close to perfect for you as I can. But I know I won't ever be perfect. And that scares the hell out of me.

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ i will do everything within me to keep that promise. i dont take promises lightly, donghyun-ah. /as you stop me, i offer a small smile, and as your thumb brushes the corner of my eye a tear slides down my cheek, pausing in the corner of my lips
never let go of me, kim donghyun. even if you do, i will stand here and wait for you, hoping and begging that you'll come back to me. now that i have you, i cant imagine life without you. you complete me, and you really are all i need.

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ I just hope you're not making promises that you can't keep, or ones that will hurt you. /glancing toward you when we round another corner, I notice the glassy look in your eyes and I stop, tugging you close; I lift a hand and gently cup your cheek, deciding to stop with you as I lightly brush the corner of your eye with my thumb./ Sometimes I really wonder what I did to deserve you; because I did something really good, or you did something really terrible for us to end up together. I don't want to lose you, ever. I can't imagine spending a day without you. I need you next to me in this life, every day— no, every second. But I know I shouldn't hold on that strong because I know you deserve so much better than what I can offer you.

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ im never going to leave you. physically, mentally, emotionally- never. i swear on my life, i will never leave you. /bringing my gaze up to you, i nod firmly, turning with you on the street; my grip on your hand tightens, and my eyes brim with tesrs for a slight moment at the thought of leaving you
im always going to be here. even when you push me away one of these days, i will sit and wait for you, because thats what you do when you're in love. you do anything for the other person. and that's what im going to do, kim donghyun. for every single moment of the rest of my life.

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ Just be with me, jagiya. Even when I'm doubting myself. Even when I hate myself— especially then. Just stay with me. /as we walk, I have no issue with being the first to turn down the next street, or decide just how it is that we get home, so long as we maintain a slow pace together./ I don't know how you could help me. I just have so much on my mind that the slightest thing feels like it could make me fall apart. I don't want you to suffer, having to stay with me while I'm trying to figure out my emotions. But, Kim Hyungsoo, there's no one in this world I would want to be going through this with other than you. There never was, and there never will be. Is that... is that some comfort at least?

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ is there anything i can do to change that? to help you? /my gaze falls downwards, staying focused on your feet, and i quietly hope that you know where we are and where we're headed, as i have no clue whatsoever
but- i'd rather be able to help you than watch you fall apart sometimes. i know how you feel, i understand it. my brain isnt really catching up to the fact that this is all really happening, so quickly... i just... im just so glad it is.

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ But I do, regardless of that. /keeping a slow pace with you, I find myself glancing between you and the sidewalk beneath my feet; some of the concrete is worn away in spots, a remnant of crumbling infrastructure no one has yet learned to replace./ Jagiya, it shouldn't all fall to you to make me happy though. I mean— I am happy with you, I really am. But sometimes it just feels so overwhelming. I-it's like being an alcoholic who suddenly realizes that the drinking doesn't really help numb everything. That's me, with , with you. I love you, I love you so much— but our lives are changing so fast and I don't know how to keep up.

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ you shouldn't. you really shouldnt. /the touch on my arm calms my nerves, and i look to you with a soft expression, making sure to walk slowly
i... think i understand. i dont know how to help you. i'll hold you. i'll sing for you. i'll have with you. i will do anything for you to make you happy. anything to help you through all of this.

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ I have a lot to doubt. /as we walk from the bowling alley back towards our apartment, I find myself gently squeezing your upper arm with my free hand; my thumb brushes along the outside of your arm as I try to think./ I don't just mean now, jagiya; I don't feel like you're withholding . I understand wanting it to be special. I want it to be special too. I mean... things were simpler before, when you and I were just... friends who ed. Now there's so many emotions wrapped up in everything, and we're getting married in a few days, and I can't stop wondering if or when I'll ever get pregnant and it's all getting me so emotional. Before, when I got like this, was like a release valve— but now it's all too much and isn't a way to get over my hangups anymore, because when we make love... it brings me closer to you, and I still have all those problems to face and— aish, I'm rambling. Stop me.

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ please don't doubt yourself. you really are so amazing, jagiya. /murmuring softly, i warp my free hand around your arm, hugging you close to me as we walk and talk
but- you know you can have , right? i will never withhold that from you. i just- want our wedding night to be perfect. im sorry if i made it seem like i didnt want to have with you..

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ I just meant... I'm not doubting you, yeobo, I'm doubting myself. /leaning into you, I press my free hand against the inside of your arm and find myself clinging to you for safety and support as I follow your lead./ You did nothing wrong, Kim Hyungsoo, so don't think something so... wrong. It's me, I just don't know what to do with myself now. Things were simple before. If something was bothering me, I could just have with you and let it go and move on with my life, but now... now I can't just have .

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ what do you mean by that, jagi? /nodding slowly, my fingers squeeze yours gently, and i begin to walk with you, leading you slowly as we head out
you didnt bring the mood down, jagiya. im just... confused. did i do something wrong? i feel like i did, that i made you upset

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ Even though I'm just doubting you because of something you said about me? /my voice is barely above a whisper as I force myself to keep it together, knowing I can't allow myself to cry in public even if it is only the attendant and a handful of bowlers; I give your hand a small squeeze at each pause, my other arm gently swinging your hand with mine./ I love you too. And whatever it was, or when it was, that doesn't matter. What matters is us and where we are now. And I'm sorry I brought the mood down... let's just... let's go home, jagiya. Please. I just want to go home with you.

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ you shouldnt doubt me, hm. /pausing with you, i bring my free hand to slip into yours as well, fingers locking with yours as i listen to you, and i cant help the sad smile that stretches across my lips
all i know, kim donghyun... is that im madly in love with you. i cant wait to be married, i cant wait to have a family.. i just love you. its crazy, really. but we are in love, even if it took us all this time. sometimes, i wonder how it all shifted... but i dont really care. i just care about having you right here, with me, right now.

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ I doubt that part, jagi. /starting to walk with you, toward the exit of the alley, I stop us just inside the doors and look to you, noticing the change in your expression too./ Jagiya, you do make me happy. I don't know what's going on right now, but my emotions are just... crazy. Maybe it's this whole trying to have a baby thing, or maybe it's because we went from doing this out of convenience to being in love and about to be married in under two weeks. I— I really don't know. All I know is... I have no idea what I would do right now if you weren't here with me, and if you didn't love me too.

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ you're romantic, even when you're falling asleep and hardly making any sense. /hums softly, my hand rubbing up and down your arm reassuringly, lips thinning to a small line; i offer a smile, nodding slowly, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek
im sorry if i dont always make you happy, jagiya. i do try to, at least more recently.

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ Shh— I'm trying to sound romantic. /following you to the counter, I place the shoes up there and lean against you for a moment as you do the talking; when you tell me again that you love me, I feel a familiar stinging behind my eyes and my nose, unsure why it's hitting me so hard just now./ I love you too, jagi— now let's go home.

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ y'know, that doesn't technically make sense- /murmur quietly, i nudge your side, leading you over to the counter; thanking the cashier, i turn, my fingers still locked with yours, and bring my free hand over to grip your arm
i love you.

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ I do. If I didn't know anything at all, I'd still know that. /after we change our shoes, I hold your hand tightly as I bend in front of you to pick up both pairs./ Come on, jagiya, let's go. We need to turn these back in.

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ i hope you know so. /pursing my lips, i grasp your hand tightly, following suit with changing my shoes, bringing our hands up to my lips before i gently kiss the back of your hand, offering you a small smile

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ You hope so, but I know so. /nodding slightly, I give your hand a small squeeze in return and head toward the seat to toe my way out of the bowling shoes, with quite a bit of effort and some leaning against you, and then slip my feet back into my own shoes all while refusing to let go of your hand./

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ i sure hope so. /my voice trails off, and im unsure how to react; wondering if i messed something up, my hand slips into yours, and i give a small squeeze
let's change our shoes... then we'll head home.

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ And I will always love you. /something about my expression seems to shift and my confident, almost y smirk turns into a soft, saddened smile./ Yeah. Just hold my hand, jagiya. Please? That's— that's all I really want right now.

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ i will always love you. /my tone is firm, determined, hoping that you will really understand, that i can calm your fears; raising a brow, my hands slip down to your waist, giving a soft squeeze
you sure you want to walk? i'll gladly carry you. besides, i'll be carrying you later as it is.

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ I hope not. I, I don't know what you'd do if you didn't want me. /my head tilts in your grasp, my cheek pressing lightly to your palm, and I give a small nod./ I'm going to hold you to that, alright? Just... I-I'll walk this time, jagiya.

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ jagiya. i will forever want you. nothing in the entire world will ever change that. /shakes my head, hands coming up to cup your cheeks
i swear on my life i will always love you. now come, let's go home.

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ You know my emotions get the better of me sometimes— are you sure you won't just get tired of that one day? /my voice raises just slightly when I speak about you not wanting me, though it lowers again as I start to flush with embarrassment, and I whisper in your ear once more./ When I used my tongue on you... ?

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ there's literally nothing you could do to stop me from wanting you. /shakes my head lightly, eyes fluttering softly as your lips brush against my ear; with another small shake of my head, i give a curious hum
you did a few things in the shower, jagi. which one?

@⚣ k｡ hyungsoo ✘ I don't know... I might do something someday that makes you stop trying for me. /as you insist that I tell you in public, I lean in close, my lips brushing along your cheek, and I softly kiss your lobe before I whisper in your ear./ Jagiya, do you remember what I did in the shower?

@⚣ k｡ donghyun ✓ how could i ever not want you? you're all i need. /humming softly, i tip my head back to tug my lip from your teeth, nodding slightly
you do. they're on the other side, jagi. whisper it to me.