— minho.

@⤫ b. chan mmn, i know you would.
you like to work for what you've got... and that's admirable.
/as i smile to you, i lean in and murmur softly those sweet promises, every word meant despite knowing where you stand, because if you ever said the words to me we'd be off
/when i look to you, its with love swimming in the depths of my eyes, fingers tracing along your body while i cant bring myself to look away from you, all too encompassed by you in the moment
it's safer, keeping people away.
but all of my walls came down for you, funny enough.
we'll... have to see, wont we?
/for a brief moment, there's a little tick of my lips that hints at a sad smile beginning to form, but the expression fades rather quickly as i lean into your kiss
/your words have me looking at you for a long moment, staying silent while you murmur to me, my eyes falling shut while your lips grace my skin, a deep hum sounding from my throat
i promise you.
i promise, i'll always, always pull you back to me.
you're not going anywhere.
/my voice is soft, hands holding you where i can, fingertips tracing along the ink on your skin as if to memorize the shapes and patterns, each and every dip and rise of your muscles
/this time, a soft laugh leaves my lips as they curl up into a small smile, chasing your lips for a kiss even after you give me that chaste one, though i settle for a quick brush of my lips over yours
/sinking back a little, i content myself with being as close to you as i can, watching over you while the sun washes over our bodies, entranced by the way you seem to bloom in this moment right before my very eyes
/unable to help myself, i bring a hand up to gently brush my fingers through your curls, in awe of you while i admire just how different we really are, smiling softly as i whisper softly in return
i love you too.

@⤫ l. minho you mean take me away from my entire life? my world?
it doesn't sound so bad sometimes, especially when i'm exhausted some nights
but the stubborn flare in me, the part of me that needs to do everything on my own, would grow tired of it
/chuckles to myself before i look up at you, knowing you mean it, your promise, you really would take me away from this all if that's what i wanted
i don't care
you must have your reasons for being that way with people, i don't know how i got to bypass them but i'm not going to regret it
not when i always want to b even closer to you
i like all sides of you, minho, and i'll come to know and love the ones i haven't seen just yet too, i'm sure of it
/promises as i look up into your eyes, happily silenced when you kiss me again, returning it of course because it's become second nature so easily and so quickly
i have no intention of ever letting you go...
if i begin to pull away, for whatever reason, just pull me back
/murmurs against your neck as i continue pressing kisses into your skin, nipping softly while i feel your hands running over my body, and its my turn to shiver under your grasp this time
promise you'll do that for me, no matter what
/my breath hitches as you skim over my thigh and then back to my hips, the ink etched into my skin looking as if its come to life via magic whenever you have me trembling
why does everything feel so much better with you?
/whispers as i brush my lips over the corner of your mouth, smelling the lingering scent of the smoke from your beloved cigarettes, it draws me in to press a chaste kiss to your lips
/laying my head back down, my hands slide to your arms before i close my eyelids, the morning sun washing over my skin entirely now and drying my damp curls, dust motes dancing in the air as i gently inhale and exhale in the safety of this space you've welcomed me into so easily
i love you...

@⤫ b. chan you're different.
a good different, the best kind of different.
/stumbling over my words, i end up laughing softly to brush it off, unaware that you have any sort of fondness over this part of me, the giggly, lovestruck person i didnt even know i was
whats /bad/ is i might be seen as greedy if i take you away from all of that.
i really would.
take you away from whatever it is that makes you feel those kinds of ways.
/for a brief moment i grow serious again, nodding slowly while i trail my fingers over your skin, knowing that the sort of sweet sadness that rests in your eyes sometimes is something that hurts me in a way i didnt know it could, simply wanting to cure you from whatever it is
/listening to you go on about what you had been told, i snort softly with a roll of my eyes, a small sigh leaving my lips before i speak up
in a way, im glad you didnt believe them.
but at the same time... that is me, you know. its just not the part of me that exists when im with you.
/murmuring softly, i simply watch you as you lay there, gladly leaning in to kiss you again, everything slow and sweet and it makes me want to stay in this moment forever, though i know it wont
/as it is, the sun is rising, light filtering into the room and it almost makes me wish the sun never had to rise again, if only to keep you here with me a little longer, but at the same time im glad i just have you now
/your words make me laugh again, but its far more than just me finding you amusing, its more born from insecurity and uncertainty this time, but i dont speak of it, not yet at least
/instead i just bask in your kisses, first meeting your lips before your lips trail along my jaw, a shiver running along my spine while my hands come to roam along your body once more
then dont let me go.
please, dont.
/murmurs softly, some note of desperation in my tone as i brush my fingers slowly down along your waist, then to your thigh, up along your leg before coming back down to settle on your hips
you dont have to live without me, until the day you decide to walk away.

@⤫ l. minho but i...?
/prompts you to finish your sentence, amused though when you just stare at me like i'm some kind of miracle for you or something
and what's so bad about that?
i'd rather spend my days kissing you whenever i could than having to deal with certain other things...
/murmurs as i admire the laugh that comes from you, its so cute, so sweet and so far from the things other people seem to see in you
of course i didn't believe in them
why should i? you're nothing like that, they're so wrong i just... i thought they were talking about someone else. i had to have someone show me a photo of you to make sure it was the same person
and when i realised it is, i don't know, i kind of stopped talking to them
/shrugs my shoulders, it was no big loss to me anyway since none of them were friends, certainly not after i realised they were speaking ill of you of all people
/watching quietly as you draw my lower lip down i look into your eyes again, my lips remaining parted after you've kissed me so briefly too
so you're saying i made your life easier?
because that's a pretty big compliment you know
/mumbles as i slide my arms around your shoulders, bringing you in again before i press my lips gently against your own, sighing against them as i do so
but you've done the same for me...
i don't want to let you go
never, not if i can help it. i don't want to live without you...
/trails off as my legs come up to wrap around your own as well, my nose nudging yours as my eyelids close and i trail kisses down to your jaw, focusing just underneath it where the bone meets the slope of your neck
i've done enough existing without you already
now i want to /live/ with you... for as long as i can

@⤫ b. chan yeah, yeah we might be.
we probably are.
is it crazy that-- that im okay with all of this, too? its crazy and i've never felt like this before but you... you....
/trailing off, i never end up finishing my sentence, perhaps because im so entranced by you, or maybe its all self explanatory, im not sure, but a happy smile lifts my lips anyway
/my hand pauses as i cradle your face in my palm, admiring the way you seem to fit against me so perfectly, as if all of this was meant to be, and it gives me a little more hope in this world
so you want me to kiss you silly every time i think about it?
i dont think we'd ever stop kissing, chris.
/the last sentence is said with a giggle bubbling from my throat and falling past my lips, eyes curling into crescents as i settle beside you, still not taking my gaze off of you
/your words make me hesitant at first, because i know what people say about me, what people think of me even though they think i dont, and my gaze falls away from you for a moment before i hum softly
doesnt surprise me, that people say stuff like... that.
you didnt believe them?
/raises a brow as i tip my head to look up at you, though as you ask about what i thought about you, my face brightens and i let my fingers dance along your bare skin as i speak
when you first walked into the bar, i thought i was seeing things.
i mean, you looked tired, but you looked... gorgeous? the smudged make up, the glitter, that crazily pretty smile...
/lifting my hand, i brush my thumb along your lips, drawing your lower lip down slightly with the pad of my thumb before i shift up to press a kiss to the spot, murmuring against your mouth
and talking to you, smiling, everything came so... easy.

@⤫ l. minho so we're basically going down together then?
i'm fine with that... i should't be- but i am
/part of me thinks a little guiltily that what if you waited all that time just to find me, what if it's me that you drove to this mysterious city for, what if we're meant to be - what if soulmates are real
you make a hard argument to try to fight against
and that's before you even spoke
/grins at you as you brush over my freckles, my lashes fluttering all over again as i lift my hand, placing it gently over your own and squeezing
stop-
/lightly smacks at your arm after you've flexed the muscles and teased me, scrunching up my nose a little bit but i'm laughing and clearly happy
maybe you should think less about doing those things and, you know, actually... do them?
/suggests as i adjust my head on the pillow a little better, getting comfy again as you run your hand over my chest and then hold my shoulder
god
the first time someone told me what they thought you were like i looked at them so strangely for the rest of our day together
i thought they had gone mad or were mistaken speaking of someone else
because it just couldn't be you? and it's... still not you. not to me at least
/murmurs as i look at you, gently running one of my legs over your own to keep you close to me, enjoying speaking with you in this god forsaken hour of the morning while the sunshine warms my skin
what about you though?
what did you think the first time you saw me?

@⤫ b. chan if it's fast, then it's fast, and we can slow down.
and if we're both mad? then at least it's together.
/murmuring softly, my hand comes up to gently cup your cheek when you look at me, and i have to take a moment to speak again only because you quite literally take my breath away
but i feel this pull to you, stronger than i've felt to anything else, and i drove for hours to get to this city in the first place.
and if... if you feel it too, is there really anything all that wrong about it?
/when you look up at me, asking me if i do return those feelings for you, i nod a little before our lips meet again, and im addicted, truly, to the taste of you and the feeling of your lips on mine
/but rather than willingly drown myself in your kisses and suffocate against your lips, i pull away when my lungs scream for air this time, content to just hover over you and admire you as we lay in my bed
depends, i guess...
/mumbles quietly, bringing one hand up to your cheek once more, the pad of my index finger brushing along your freckles in silent awe before i raise a brow at your words
/glancing down to my arm, i give the muscles a small flex, especially when i feel your fingers running along my skin, and when i look back up at you its with a smirk on my lips for just a brief second
dunno that you did.
you could say it some more though, i'd like to hear what you have to say about me.
/because frankly, even despite honestly knowing im attractive, its nice to hear it from someone who doesnt just see me as a one time thing, or something much worse
/tipping my head slightly as i listen to you, humming softly in response while i let my mind wander for a second, to those times i've wanted to do just those things to you
/for a moment my gaze wanders as well, first along your features before glancing out the window with a small smile, my gaze falling back to you
are you sure we arent just sharing thoughts at this point?
because the amount of times i've thought of just doing those kinds of things...
/sighing softly, i shake my head before sinking back down onto my bed, hand coming to trail over your chest before i hook my fingers on your shoulder, looking up at you
i like knowing what you're thinking, though.
its... a comfort. that im not actually the way everyone else sees me... sometimes.

@⤫ l. minho if you're feeling the same thing then i'm wondering if we're both mad and now i'm certain we've lost all hope for ourselves because... because isn't this too fast?
/rambles a little bit as i look away, not realising in that moment you're ironically admiring how perfect i seem to be in your eyes, in the rising light of the sun outside your window
but it's not fast at the same time, it's everything i could want and-
/turning to look back at you i pause when i see how you look, your twinkling eyes and the smile you have on your lips, it makes my stomach twist and i can't complain
i love how you can just make me forget about the rest of the world so easily...
/confesses as you pull me close and grapple your hands along my skin, my flesh, seemingly unable to get enough of my form and that's very, very relatable
y-you do?
/stutters when you return those words, these feelings, it makes my eyes dewy as i reach my hands up to cup your face when you've nudged me down onto my back
/kissing you back once more i don't mind how many times our mouths seem to dance with one another, sighing into the kiss while my lashes flutter shut
/settling down against the sheets and pillow beneath my head, i take a moment to catch my breath while looking up at you, staring right back into your eyes
love...
i guess it's super serious if we're using really twice, huh?
/laughs under my breath before i raise my arms above my head, letting my hands reside beneath my head and damp hair, my lightly freckled skin catching in the sunlight that has begun to crawl over the side of the bed
did i mention how handsome you are?
like, how attractive you are to me? that muscle flex with your arms in the shower was totally uncalled for by the way
and yes, i noticed you doing it
/points out as i lift one of my hands, trailing my fingertips up along your arm before i rest it on your bicep, admiring your physique not for the first time while i squeeze at the muscle there
since we're confessing things, i should probably confess i've most definitely thought about you lifting me up in those arms of yours
whether it's to put me on your bar counter, or to pin me to the wall and kiss me silly... you're on my mind a lot more than you might think
...and i probably shouldn't have told you those things, sudden confessions or not

@⤫ b. chan im not usually like this, you know.
so upfront. so... whatever this is.
/though i dont speak of it, my heart skips a beat because of your words, that confession being enough to earn almost a giggle from my lips, a sound that's very rare to come from me
/even if you tell me not to, i cant help but look at you with that same adoration, though i decide against speaking up again, instead just basking in the way you look
/my fingers along your skin, wanting to memorize how it feels to have you laying there with me, and i listen to you speak with a small nod and a hum leaving my lips
you never know, chris...
what if im feeling the same thing?
/there's a twinkle in my eyes as my lashes flutter shut and our lips meet, your praise heard loud and clear while i pull you close, quite desperately needing to feel you there with me
/and its the simple things, really, the way our lips move and meld so perfectly together, and when your hand slips into my hair and tugs, im left groaning softly against your mouth, your name lost somewhere along there
/when you pull away enough to speak, our lips brushing against one another as we try to catch our breath, i hear those three words loud and clear
/before i have a chance to respond, though, im caught up in another kiss, a small whine leaving my lips as i lean against you, fingers grasping at your skin
i think i love you too...
/its a breathless whisper, one that gets murmured against your lips as i return to kissing you, nudging you to lay on your back and let the rising sun wash over you, my lips pulling at yours before i come to hover over you, pausing and just looking upon your features
like really, really love you.

@⤫ l. minho good. i think i'd be a little bit upset if you were ashamed of admitting it
especially when i like you so much too
/murmurs as i watch you lean into my touch with such ease, part of me wondering if perhaps this is something you don't let others do so easily either
that-
that's exactly what you shouldn't do
/laughs softly when you go on to describe perfectly how you look at me, my whole body agrees that that's exactly it, you've hit the nail on the head with how you make me feel
just... something that i really shouldn't and wouldn't normally want to say at this point
but feeling it grow inside of me is making it harder and harder to ignore as the days go by, at least the ones i get to spend with you
/my breath hitches when you slide your hand down to my thigh and lift my leg over your own, leaning into you as i press my bare body against yours, shuddering at the electric feeling that passes between us
good boy
/whispers playfully when you promise me you can do as i've asked of you, so willingly too, it makes me groan quietly when our lips meet
/leaning into you even more i end up sliding one of my hands into your hair, this time at the back of your head as it gives me a good hold
/tugging slightly i let myself melt into the kiss and your embrace, a kiss that has no right to be as breathtaking and all consuming as it is, but it's you so i don't expect any less
/its gentle but needy, fueled by fire that neither of us are scared of being burned by, a clash of teeth and lips and i ache to the point of feeling pain in my very gut when i know it'll have to end, only for another to begin
i think i love you...
/trails off against your lips, sighing before i inhale your scent, shaking slightly as i press myself even closer, my lips still moving against your own before i add quietly;
that's... that's what i was going to tell you earlier

@⤫ b. chan its that obvious isnt it?
im gonna be honest, im not even ashamed.
/a soft, tinkling laugh leaves my lips, but there's a note of embarrassment even despite my words, likely because im so unused to feeling these types of ways
/your touch to my hair is unexpected, but i let you do so without saying a word, instead just admiring the way your fingers feel in my hair
/the sound that comes from your throat as my fingers brush over it has me hesitating, my stomach doing another little flip before i brush my fingers along the column of it once more, taking your bait without another thought
dont do what?
/whispers, my touch just as light as my voice, stroking along your throat affectionately as i listen to you speak, drawn to you in the littlest ways
i look at you like you're beautiful, like you're... almost untouchable, like you're this... treasure.
it cant really be all that bad.
but now, now you've got me wondering what it makes you want to say.
/as you agree, i cant bring myself to respond to you just yet, instead just listening to the way you speak, the sound of your voice drawing me in
/one of my hands slips down, fingers trailing along your bare skin to hook on your thigh, pulling you in against me now that i have a taste of what it's like to be skin against skin
one condition...
/repeats after you, but as you lean in, your lips teasing me with just how close they are, my eyes flicker back and forth between your lips and your eyes, my breath fanning warm over your face
/your stipulation has my breath hitching slightly in my throat as i look back up to you, into your eyes which i can so easily get lost in, and i nod a little while shifting slightly wanting to — no, needing to be closer to you in the moment
i can promise that.
/mumbles quietly before im the one to close that small distance, my lips meeting yours as my eyes flutter shut and just as always, warmth explodes from the connection, blooming through my body as we fit together so perfectly, as if our bodies were made for each other right from the very beginning

@⤫ l. minho /let's out a small laugh when you say 'wow' and it's apparently aimed at me which just has me laughing because it seems so odd to be the cause of such a response
i believe you. i can feel you mean it
/murmurs softly in reassurance, looking up into your eyes before i reach my own hand out, gently sweeping back your damp fringe and admiring your handsome face as i lay with you for goodness knows how long
/when you touch my throat in particular it makes me hum, swallowing thickly as i seem to, for a brief moment, tip my head just to try and entice you to do it again
don't do that...
/whispers as i think, i swear, i can see myself glowing in the reflection of your eyes and it makes me glimpse away so i can just breathe and try to formulate some meaning
you look at me as if i'm some... some powerful entity and it gives me butterflies. no, more than that, it makes me want to say something i know i shouldn't
/my gaze returns once you ask permission to kiss me though, steadily holding your gaze before i smile to myself, slowly nodding my had
yes... yes you may kiss me
/shuffling closer under the sheets, i let one of my legs brush up against your own, my hand coming to rest against your chest as i pull my head back to speak first
but on one condition-
/glances down at my hand on your chest, splaying my fingers out over your heart, knowing the important organ resides just beneath my hand, making me warm at the thought before i lean in
you can kiss me, minho
/whispers as my lips are just barely a breath away from your own, my gaze dipped towards your mouth as i whisper with all the confidence this special sunrise can give me as it warms my bare back and so much more within
but only if you promise to not stop. only when my lungs cry for mercy and all my body knows in every blessed sense is you - only then may you ever stop kissing me

@⤫ b. chan /when i pass my doorframe, for a brief moment im truly stunned by the sight of you there, not just because it's you in my bed, but it's you in a light im so unused to seeing you in
/it quite literally steals my breath away, and part of me feelings guilty — a part of me i quiet very quickly — because i dont feel as though i deserve something so good and warm and beautiful in my life
wow...
/as i lay in bed with you, i prop myself up on my elbow and use my hand to keep my head up, wet fringe falling over my eyes while i look over you, truly caught up in just how pretty you are
i mean it, though.
even if i am a little head over heels, i mean every word i say.
and i really think that... the sunrise suits you.
/murmuring softly, i cant help but smile just as soft, my fingers rising from your jaw to brush along your face, to your hair, and i admire as the strands curl around my fingers as i brush them back from your face
/but its the way you say my name, so soft and so loving, i know its the only way i want to hear my name from now on, even if it cant be so, at least its my favorite
/my hand rests on your cheek at first, then i trail my fingers along your jaw once more, your throat, your shoulder, unable to stop touching you even if our bodies arent right up against one another
no one?
there's always a first for something.
/as i speak, my voice is soft while i watch you, laying there in my bed with a certain glow about you, and for a brief second i pull my hand away, as if i shouldnt be able to touch you, my dark eyes shining and reflecting the light that seems to radiate from you
/its something so drastically different, even from what i know, because though i dont mind the sunrise im never awake to see it, a child of the night as i've always been, but maybe, just perhaps for you, i could get used to being in the light with you
can i kiss you?
/the words are whispered, and its even a surprise for me, because im no longer touching you but aching to do so, and its not like i havent been kissing you all night anyway, but i feel as though i need to ask right now

@⤫ l. minho then kiss me as much as you like... i'll never turn you away or say no. and if i did, i promise i'd always tell you why
/murmurs against your lips before i give them one last kiss, sighing happily when you make the almost pathetic sounding whine, filling me with the need to hear even more of those sounds from you because they tell me how much you ache whenever i pull away
/while i wait for you in your bed i think about you begging me not to make such promises, but i know as foolish and unlike me as it is, i want to do it, i want to say those words and prove them right to you more than anything
/lost in my thoughts as i lay there, i half watch the sunrise filling your bedroom with a warm, pink glow, the colour dancing around the four walls and painting my lightly freckled cheeks too
/you keep your promise though and don't keep me waiting long, my head turning away from the window and towards you when you brush your fingers over my jaw, gazing at you for a moment or two before i just smile softly
and i think you're just head over heels at the moment
so you'll say any sweet little thing you can think of
/teases you a little bit as i shift to face the rest of my body towards your own, not touching you just yet as i test how long we can go with more than a couple inches separating us
but i like it
i like that you like me with my blemishes, my goofy smile, my unruly curls-
you liking and loving them all makes me feel... otherworldly
/as i speak i slowly turn my face in a bit, pressing it against your pillow and sighing at the scent of you there, letting it fill my senses and both comfort and wind me up in all the right ways
minho...
/calls your name like all good lovers should, my lips forming around your calling card so easily it's as if they were made to say your name and your name alone, at least with such ease
/my one hand on the pillow beneath my head curls into the linen, my knuckles turning white as i nuzzle the pillow this time, sighing quietly as i drink in more of your scent
you know, you're perfectly dangerous
/murmurs suddenly, splaying my fingers out over the linen again before i flutter my eyelids open to look at you, adding on softly
this is the first sunset i can remember ever wanting to embrace, rather than turn my back on
nobody has made me want to do that... no one
/and it's that sunrise's warm glow that illuminates me in your bedroom, the natural light casting a kind of richness on my form i don't usually have - i'm glowing, and it's because you're my light

@⤫ b. chan chris...
/your name is a soft whisper that falls from my lips, barely to be heard over the sound of the water falling, but as i look to you im sure you can hear my voice regardless
i know, i know im supposed to be listening to you, and i am.
but you're saying all these nice words, and you're standing in my shower, and i so badly just want to kiss you.
/my gaze is gentle and warm just as you see, as really only you see these days, but its honestly perfect because there's no one else i'd rather share a moment like this with
/your words have me sighing softly, almost relaxing in your hold while i nod just a little, breathing a soft sigh while my eyes fall shut and i have to will those words into my heart
/when my lips meet yours, i know i cant really avoid just how /desperate/ i need you, my hands pulling at you and my body pressing against your own
/its so rare for me to feel this way, so highly attracted to someone, and to contemplate that feeling honestly makes me scared, and perhaps we really are meant for one another because of our shared need for distractions
/and its all going well until you're suddenly pulling away from me, a sort of strangled whine leaving my lips while i open my eyes to look at you before me
oh...
/there's butterflies in my stomach this time, and when you pull back im left gasping, eyes a little wide because i may have forgotten that i needed air, and then a breathless laugh leaves my lips
dont say that, chris.
everyone leaves at one point or another.
but im gonna hold out, that you'll stay.
/when you leave me in the shower, the water running colder at this point, i stand there for a second before leaning against the door and reach with my free hand to turn off the water
i'll be there quick.
/murmurs quietly, watching you for a moment before a small smile lifts my lips, and after you've left the bathroom its my turn to dry myself off and take care of the dirty laundry, opting to throw it in the washer for your sake, so you have something clean for whenever you want to leave
/its not too long before i join you in my room, sparing a glance to the window to see the beginnings of the sunrise, and i climb into bed with you, fingers reaching you to brush over your jaw
i know you said i might be less attracted to you without the glitter, but i'unno. i think you're stunning.

@⤫ l. minho why wouldn't i think highly of you with a description like that?
besides, if i think so highly of you it's only to make up for how little you think of yourself, you know
as for people and what they think of you, let them. they don't know the real you, and they don't deserve to. that's a treasure i'd like more people to see, but until then, i'll gladly keep it to myself
/as i speak i watch your walls crumble down and it makes me smile to myself, those dimples appearing as i gaze into your eyes, admiring how warm they are and how that's reserved for so very few people
i'm sorry you had to wait so long for me...
but i'm here now and i'm not going anywhere
/promises you quietly, leaning in to nuzzle my nose against your cheek, nudging it in an affectionate kind of bump before i sigh softly under my breath
everything is perfect when i'm with you
/murmurs against your lips, leaning into you when you pull me in, your kiss is hungry and mine is the same, my arms winding around your neck as my fingers slide among your wet locks and hold on
/i hold on as if the moment i might let go i'll slip away and be lost in an abyss, your plea for me not to go not entirely swallowed up in the kiss as i manage to hear it and reply
never...
i'll never leave you behind
/it's perhaps a foolish thing to swear but something screams at me that it's true, i will never leave your side because i love being around you, and it's in that moment i let those three words flit across my mind - i love you
/its entirely absurd but i don't want to let myself dwell on it so the panic will set in, instead i distract myself with more kisses, each one fanning the flames of the last until they rise so high they engulf the both of us
/kissing you until i know your lungs must be crying for air, i let the haze of it linger while i slip away, stepping out of the shower and toweling off my body before i hang up the item
i might not ever leave you... but it doesn't mean i won't run ahead sometimes
don't be too long yeah?
/teases you as i glance over my shoulder, my curls beginning to tighten as they dry, framing my freckled face before i head off first, remembering where you said your bedroom was
/once there i slide under the covers, shivering at the cool feeling before i roll over, seeing the sun beginning to rise from the window and for once, i'm not filled with the same dread i so often do, and i know it's because of you

@⤫ b. chan sometimes... sometimes i think you think too highly of me.
im just a kid working at a bar, who looks at you like you're the only person in the world.
/my words are a little breathless as i shake my head a little, glancing away when i feel like im doing that right now, looking at you like there's nothing else in the world
besides, i've heard what people think of me-- it's kinda to be expected, at this point.
/almost as if reading your mind, i scoff a little at the idea, knowing full well that people see me as the villain, and sometimes im sure they should, especially with how standoffish i can be
/but its the way you look at me, whether you realize it or not, that has me feeling much more warm and welcoming, even just in this moment
/i almost want to hide away, back to my usual self, pull away from you before you can leave me like everyone else has, because honestly it's inevitable, no matter how long it usually takes
/but your touch, your hands are so warm, your words are so nice, and when you speak so softly and yet i hear you over the running water, the walls are crumbling once again
/its a foreign feeling for me, to be so bare and to honestly watch my walls fall away, but with you it's so... easy? and you're right, because with you i feel safe
maybe i really was just waiting to find you.
because the second i saw you, the second we were together... it felt like everything was right.
/my voice is soft, hands coming to rest over yours on my cheeks, and i lean in to return that kiss, my lashes fluttering slightly because god, being with you is so perfect
/after a moment, i open my eyes again, pulling you in closer because i cant stand being away from you any longer, and with the warm water splashing over us im leaning into kiss you hungrily, my body pressing to yours in need of that closeness
dont go.
/whispers against your mouth, not even sure that you can hear me over the water, but i dont really care at this point, just needed to feel you, to let you feel me, because it's us and maybe, just maybe, we really were meant to be

@⤫ l. minho good- ...good. you deserve to be happy, you know i think so much of you and that you deserve a whole lot more already
this much is true too. you're... you're everything
/and you're not the person so many others have painted you out to be, each day it's become harder for me to even hear the less than perfectly kind things people should be saying about you
/a soft noise bubbles from the back of my throat and slips past my lips when you smirk at me like that, it has the colour rising in my skin and it's not just from the perfectly hot water either
oh-
/breathes the word as i get caught up staring at your arms, biting my bottom lip at the sight only to remember duh, lip piercing, and i immediately release it, running my tongue over the ring while my eyes are still locked on your arms
h-huh?
/snapping out of it when i realise you're baring your soul to me right now i'm left stunned, blinking several times as something warm in the centre of my chest begins to blossom for all the affection and emotions i harbour for you
don't do that...
/whispers as i watch you put up that wall in front of me, both of my hands lifting now as i cup your face, bringing you closer while i tip my face up so i can look into your eyes
don't hide behind your walls with me, minho
it's safe here, with me
i promise you i feel similarly too. i'm sorry you were alone for so long, perhaps...
/trails off, wondering if my next words are too selfish, but i need to be honest, i need to comfort you too and i just hope that's what my words do
perhaps you were just waiting unknowingly to find me
but i'm here now, with you
/leaning in i kiss your lips softly, my thumb stroking over your cheek as i hold you close to me, our bodies not quite touching but they're so achingly close
you're not stupid. and if you are, for this, then we're the same
/whispers against your lips, staring at you beyond the steam long since filling your bathroom, my gaze dipping down to your mouth i adore before i look back up into those equally loved eyes
but i think we already knew that

@⤫ b. chan chris, i dont think you have any idea what you do to me.
hell, i dont even know what you do to me. but you make me so... happy.
/breathing the last word as a sort of sigh, i end up looking at you while looking very much like there are galaxies in my eyes, just from you being there with me
yeah, i want more.
i dont think i can even get enough when i get a taste of you.
/im not one to blush, that much you must have already gathered, but this time as im stripping myself down, my cheeks flush the faintest shade of pink
/your words have me nodding slowly, because i get it, i really do, and even if i know how i feel about you it doesnt change how you feel about yourself, and that's okay
that's fine, but that just means i can help you see it one day.
doubtful that i'd think otherwise, but we'll have to see about that, huh?
/the kiss to my cheek is welcome, your lips leaving a sort of warmth that i feel like i dont deserve, that you shouldnt be giving me, that i feel like i could kill off so easily, and yet im addicted to it, i know i am
/taking my time in the shower to wash myself, i find myself watching you amidst it all, my hair wet and falling over my eyes as i watch you wash the glitter and grime away, and while you had said i'd probably find you less attractive, i feel like i cant be more drawn to you than i am right now
/your reaction to your own sudden burst has me smirking once more, looking down at you through my wet fringe as water drips down, and i rinse my arms from the suds, giving you full view of the veins and muscles along my arm
that makes two of us then, huh?
i feel like... i cant be away from you for too long? like if im not touching you, or if we're not... together, there's this like... emptiness.
the same emptiness i've always felt, but now that i've had you here, and you've filled it... now it hurts more when you're gone.
/confessing quietly, i take a moment to finish washing myself off before i feel your fingers on my skin, and your touch is welcome, but i realize just what i've said and the weight of it all
/for a brief moment, im retreating to my usual self as i glance away from you, a little cold and distant, hard like a rock and for no real reason, but it's over in a second and i look back up with a small smile, fingers coming to reach for your own
pretty sure it's still me, honestly.

@⤫ l. minho if you told me i'd been giving you the same feeling i'd think you were just seriously trying to be nice and making good on your promise not to laugh at me for how i sounded just now
/admits with a little laugh, my fingers toying with my curls in a nervous habit of mine before i let my hand trail down to my lips, brushing over them where your warmth still lingers
no it's not stupid
i'd rather i tasted sweet to you than something bad. does it make you want more?
/asks as i'm a little amused and ego boosted from you being unable to keep your hands off of me, and when you know you have to, it doesn't mean you need to like it and that's the best part of all
/turning around when i'm done i nudge my pile of clothes together and to one side, blinking and caught off guard when you tell me i'm gorgeous
i mean you can say it, but wrapping my head around it might take a bit more time
perhaps you'll think differently when i wash away the glitter
/dips my head in thanks when you gesture for me to go into the shower first, passing by your for a moment and kissing your cheek fleetingly, leaving a 'thank you' on it before i step into the shower
/you're soon to follow and as i wash and scrub off the grime of my day, glitter and sweat circling the drain, what's left is a faintly freckled flushed face with full lips that look like they need more kissing
/turning around to face you and reveal such a face, my insecurities are gone when i glimpse at your own body, specifically your thighs and hands, or rather your entire arms
...
/whispers before i gasp when i realise i said it aloud, covering my mouth with the back of my hand, laughing at myself as i bow my head and speak between laughter
god, i'm so attracted to you it's ridiculous-
i literally feel like there's a magnet inside of me and it's just drawn to your own. it won't stop making me ache until i'm close with you again
now who sounds stupid?
/mutters to myself as i rub my hand over my arm, clasping it half around my bicep because god knows i can't fit around the entire muscle
/my other hand shifts forward just a bit, brushing my knuckles against your upper thigh and then hip, fingertips twitching as i have to silence my insatiable need to touch and to have more of you too soon

@⤫ b. chan dont laugh, got it.
butterflies?
what if i told you that you've been doing the same thing for me?
/murmurs quietly, all too distracted by you, the feeling of your lips on mine, the simplest thing down to your fingers on my skin
/frankly, despite knowing that i would never be like this with anyone, and that i never expected to be like this with you, this feeling, the exhilaration, the adrenaline that pulses through me just at the idea of spending time with you is better than anything else
/perhaps that's why its so easy to just take you to the bathroom, barely even paying attention to everything as i pass by, because there's some part of me that wonders if i hesitate you might take back your suggestion
you taste... sweet.
is that stupid?
/mumbles a little breathlessly while we stand at the counter, but the second i hear that noise from your mouth my eyes widen just a little before our lips meet again, and im left wondering what has you feeling that way, unaware that something as simple as my laugh has you just as happy
/yet im allowing you to begin stripping me of my clothes while i barely manage to keep my hands off of you during all of it, lips crashing to yours the second i can before im groaning and reluctantly pulling away from you
fine, fine.
/mumbles as i step away, working on the belt of my pants with one hand while getting the water going, testing it with my fingertips before wriggling out of the leather pants that hug my thighs, kicking them aside as i gesture to the shower
after you, chris.
you're-- you. you're-- um, gorgeous?
can i say that?
/this time a shy laugh leaves my lips, and i dip my head and hide under the shadow of my fringe for a second before following you into the shower itself

@⤫ l. minho no- no nothing is wrong you just...
god, i sound like a teenager in love even in my own head. don't laugh, okay?
it's just... you gave me butterflies
/admits quietly, avoiding your gaze for several moments and running my hand through the front of my hair, tugging on the curls in mild frustration
/those butterflies return when we're kissing again and i feel you even playing with the piercing in my lip, it's enough to make my skin catch fire while electric pulses still seem to jolt between us
/i can feel the hairs on my arms and nape lift at the exciting feeling, nodding dumbly when you ask me if i mean right now, because for some reason stripping down and showering with you is less anxiety inducing than just being with you in bed
/leaning into your embrace as you pull me along with you i happily let you guide me, knowing i'd let you guide me to hell if you suddenly felt the need some day to do so
/nods my head as you motion to places in your home, i'm not really paying attention and it's obvious you aren't either, my lips on your jaw until you meet them for another kiss and it's as hungry as the first
mmh... minho-
/murmurs your name as i'm bracketed between the counter and your body, my head tipping to the side slightly as i gaze up at you, or rather, your lips
yeah... something like that
/my eyes light up when i hear your laughing like that, a small whine leaving my lips as i cup your face and pull you in for another kiss, my fingertips sliding around to dip into your hair, tugging slightly
/gliding my hands over your arms, i slip your jacket off and over your shoulders, letting it drop to the floor before i do the same for your shirt, going straight back to kissing you when i've tossed it aside
you get the water warmed up
go on
/encourages you as i reach over and give your backside a small pat, smiling to myself as i squeeze cheekily and let go, straightening up myself and away from the counter
/it's while i trust you to be busy that i pull my shirt over my own head, my back to you as i toe off my socks and then start wriggling out of my pants, squirming a bit as i curse the tight fabric but eventually get it and my underwear off

@⤫ b. chan honestly?
you make it easy to believe, so yeah, i believe you.
/its so easy to get lost in you, from the littlest things, the way your piercing moves or the way your eyes shine when you look at me, even the way your lips taste
/the way you lean into my touch, like someone coming home after a long day, has a certain warmth settling in me, and i cant help but feel a little proud because damn, you're the most perfect person i have ever met
/my eyes flicker down toward your hand at your stomach as you seem to realize something, though i dont know what, and as i lean in with you pinned to the wall i hum softly
something the matter?
/my voice is a little deeper than before, perhaps because of my attraction to you, this entire moment with you as i watch the way you look at me and react to my touches and kisses
/the noise that leaves your lips is greeted with something similar from me, my tongue tracing your lips, even briefly teasing your piercing before slipping into your mouth
/and in that moment i very nearly moan, pressing myself closer to you as if any second away from you i would collapse from that need
/my hand comes to your waist, and my name coming from your lips is almost as sweet as your taste anyway, but i have to pull back to breathe, cursing my lungs after a moment
huh?
/breathes the word in a sigh, adoring the way first your nose bumps my cheek, almost clumsily, and then your lips brush over mine in that brief second, and i find myself chasing you for more
right now?
yeah, yeah we can.
/when you tug on my shirt a second time, i hum softly before my arm slides around your waist without really thinking, and to keep from being away from you for too long i just pull you with me, taking steps toward my bathroom
i can give you a tour.
kitchen--
/halfheartedly waving in the direction of my kitchen, i stumble and very nearly bump into the wall, keeping you from doing so, my lips coming to meet yours once more in kind of sloppy kisses as i take you through my place
my room, over there.
and-- bathroom.
/my hand waves down the small hallway, one door leading to my bedroom, but i bring us through another, coming to press you very gently against the counter, hands on either side of your waist as i grip the counter
i should get the water going, huh?
/mumbles, but i cant bring myself to step away from you yet, leaning in to press another kiss to your lips before i laugh against them, realizing that with you, i honestly feel so much unlike my usual self but in the best way possible

@⤫ l. minho well i only want you right now, minho...
you believe me, don't you?
/asks as i look up at you still, my tongue caught between my lips as i do so, causing my piercing to move just a little bit before i stop and search those eyes of yours
mmh-
/hums softly when you run your hand into my hair, it's such a small thing but it feels so nice and loving after a day like today, it makes me pine and ache for you even more
oh...
/your smile morphs into something a little darker than that smile i enjoy seeing light up your face, it makes my stomach flip and i place my hand over it suddenly as if i can feel the sensation under my palm because it's so ing sudden and strong
/inhales sharply when i find my back against the wall instead, blinking a couple of times as i try to recount how that happened but i pin it down to me just being entirely too swept up in your embrace to notice much else

/whispers as you smirk like that, one of my hands sliding down over your arm, fingers wrapping around your bicep slowly as my head tips back against the wall behind me
/meeting your lips in the kiss again i let out a surprised noise that's muffled slightly, my tiers parting all too easily to welcome you in
/my other hand rests my palm against your cheek, brushing my thumb over your cheekbone as my tongue greets your own, rubbing against it slowly and making me moan because i get to taste you too
/you feel like a warm fire on a cold autumn day, you smell like wood crackling and spice that comes with something sweet, completing that ambrosia-like element i bring to you
/i call your name in gasped breaths between kisses, my hand sliding from your cheek to your chest, curling into the front of your shirt again and tugging slightly
mmh... shower-
/mumbles incoherently at first, pressing my nose to your cheek as i pull back enough to breathe more than a second, glancing down at your lips before i peck them once more and murmur my words into them
shower with me. like, right now
/insists as i tug on your shirt again, pleading at this point because i want to be closer but i want to wash away the grime of my day, emotions included, so i can sink into your arms that much more

@⤫ b. chan me? no... definitely not.
but you? you... you deserve the whole world.
/the words are whispered, and they're followed by a short laugh that seems a little incredulous, because i know i was on the brink of saying it was a matter of time before they left me too, and yet i can give you all the nice words
/after all, the fact that you say im the best, when i know im not, when i dont feel like i could ever be, especially not for someone as beautiful and full of life as you, has me stunned for a second as i mumble
im sure there's someone better out there, there always is.
but right now? i'll take it.
/i believe you, not a single doubt in my mind, because its so easy to believe the words that come from you, the stars in your eyes making it hard to think that you couldnt think of me so highly
/another small laugh leaves my lips to fall against your own, this time a little giddy even if its just a whisper, and i realize i've never felt like this before, so /alive/ and so happy
/so my lips move against yours, slow and purposeful, and i wonder for a moment if you can feel the smile on my lips and feel just how desperately i cling to you, stumbling back just a little with you
dont-- dont apologize.
/its a little breathless, but i look at you with a smile while you catch your breath and hide against me, one hand sliding up so my fingers can thread through your hair, admiring the waves that fall atop your head
/with my back pressed to the wall, my blissful smile turns into something a little more devilish while i watch your tongue fiddle with your piercing, and in a blink of an eye i have our positions changed, pressing you against the wall instead and leaning in, flicking my gaze between your eyes and your lips
thought you'd never ask.
/smirking just as my lips come to meet yours, one of my hands rests on the wall next to you while my other comes to your waist, pulling you in against me while we kiss, my tongue sneaking out for a taste, just a little, of you-- and god are you so sweet

@⤫ l. minho i'm glad you have them. you deserve people like that in your life
you'd think i'd have a million friends right? it's fine, i'm happy with the animals, char and you too of course
/winces when i end up referring to you as a friend in the end, but considering what we're doing i figure you'll understand i am most definitely NOT friend zoning you
i think you're the best... i'm not sure what that's worth exactly, but i do
i swear i do, minho
/mumbles softly as i gaze up at you, there's a flicker of that light i so often have when i speak of you, because hell yes i think you're this wonderful and amazing person, one i don't see any of the things i've heard rumours about
don't apologise for kissing me...
you /never/ have to apologise for that
/whispers against your lips, watching you from beneath my lashes up until you lean in and kiss me properly, my thumb stroking across your cheek because it's like i'm on fire and i'm bathing in the glow of it all
/of course your distraction works as i press into you even more, stumbling just a little as i try not to step on you when gaining my footing, or try - and failing
/the fumbling around causes me to accidentally press you up against the nearest wall as i catch myself against you, breaking the kiss to let out a laugh as i take a moment to hide my reddened face against your shoulder
sorry-
/it's my turn to apologise but i lift my face after a bit, my waves falling away from my face, the straightening from the morning wearing off from a long day of work and my hair is trying to turn back to my unruly curls
you okay?
/asks as i lift myself away from you a bit so i'm not just leaning entirely against you, but i'm still close enough i can feel the heat of your body through your clothes and mine
/curling my fingers into the front of your jacket i tug gently, running my tongue over my bottom lip and of course the piercing there, toying with it as i gaze at your own, very pretty, mouth
one more try?

@⤫ b. chan i feel like you'd like them.
they're the kind of people who take care of each other.
/there's a brief, fond smile on my face as i speak of my friends, of the people i've come to be close with, and it's really only those two people in my life, well, outside of you, that mean anything to me
you seem like the type of guy that would make friends easily.
no wonder why char likes you.
/shaking my head a little while i look at you, i wonder if there's any way that i can bring that light back to you, because you seem so empty without it and i hate that for your own sake
then lean on me.
you cant be the fount of all happiness and gifts all of the time.
i may not be the best, but im here... you can lean on me.
/the words are whispered as i keep my arms wrapped around you, swaying slightly with you in my hold, and im utterly content for once, feeling complete with you so close to me
/and i want to take care of you, and i know i would do anything if that meant bringing you your happiness, however that may be, and its a terrifying thought to wrestle with as i look into your eyes and know i could get lost in their depth
/yet its your lips, the taste of you, that has me drowning, but i couldnt care less in this moment because all i want is you, and as we kiss it feels as though a part of me is returning to me
sorry...
/whispers as you pull back, just before i hear you ask for me to do it again, and so i laugh oh so softly, lips coming to press to yours once more in a much more intended and well placed kiss this time
/my arms tighten around you, holding you close to me, wanting to distract you from the world you're damned to live in with whatever refuge my lips can bring, even if it's only for the time being

@⤫ l. minho i felt that
but hey, crazy friends sound like good things to have. i've... i've not really got any friends
/admits a little sheepishly, part of me wants to interject that you're a friend but then another voice inside of my head says referring to you as my friend probably wouldn't be the smartest move i could make
although i guess char is my friend now, and all the animals at the kennel
/adds on though it's followed up with another one of those empty laughs from me, this time i wince at the sound because i hate how it sounds
don't say that... i'm not used to being needy of others
i'm so infuriatingly self sufficient, giving to others comes easily, but this... this need for me to lean on you-
its entirely consuming some days and it frightens me
/confesses quietly as i stay hidden against your chest a while longer, my eyelids closing when you tell me you've got me, my own hands curling into the front of your jacket and shirt as you hold me in your arms for a hug
/your hand at my cheek has me leaning into the touch all too naturally, my eyelids still closed as i sigh softly to myself and nuzzle your palm, enjoying the feeling of your rings brushing along my skin
/with my face being tipped up more i look up into your eyes slowly, the usual galaxies in my own spheres have gone out it seems, disappeared into desperate blackness that blankets my usual light
/my grip tightens on your clothing when you lean in and i realise you're going to kiss me, but i don't pull away, instead i just hold on a bit more and kiss you back after a moment of just admiring the fireworks going off when we touch
/there's butterflies in my stomach as there have been over the days we've grown to get closer with one another, to lead to this current moment between us and i never want them to leave either
minho...
/whispers against your lips quietly, glancing at your lips from beneath my lashes as i've pulled back for a moment to just breathe
d-do that again
/pleads softly before i lean up with my arms winding around your shoulders, leaning up on my tiptoes to kiss you properly, smudged make up and glitter be damned, nothing is going to stop me from having more of the comfort and excitement i feel with you, not when it takes away the hurt and the pain the world's embedded into my flesh tonight

@⤫ b. chan gets a little lonely sometimes.
but then again, when am i not-- anyway...
they live in a building not too far off. they're crazy though.
/clearing my throat as i cut myself off, i shrug a little before nodding and gesturing over my shoulder with my thumb as if that's any explanation, and i try to offer you a small smile
/with char hopping into the apartment, she climbs up onto her cat tree in the corner and flops over for a nap, as if she's had such a long day and needs some rest after all the hard work she's done
/listening to you, i tip my head slightly and nod slowly, eyes a little wide while you have my full attention, not wanting to look away from you for even a second when you seem like you need me, though i could be imagining it
/there's a pang in my chest when that laughter doesnt have its familiar ring, and im holding your hand a little tighter, even despite feeling you beginning to pull away
dont, chris. dont apologize.
hell, cling all you want. be needy.
/with desperation in my voice, that fear of losing you taking me further than i usually go with anyone else, because despite my usual demeanor im not about to just let you go when i finally feel some semblance of complete with you around
/when you thump against me, my eyes widen a little, and it takes a fraction of a second before both of my arms wrap around you in a hug, holding you close to me and feeling a tightness in my chest when you stay resting up against me
i've got you.
/murmurs as i squeeze you in my hold, though your last words hurt a little harder, feeling a rage for the world that is supposed to treat you with kindness, that's supposed to take care of you, you who only cares so much but seem to never get anything in return
/its my turn to be surprising, because i pull back just a little, my hand coming up to brush over your cheek, the cool metal of my rings brushing over your skin before im tipping your head up, taking a moment to look into your eyes before my lips come to meet yours in a kiss, sharing something so intimate that when the fireworks start this time its so much more powerful than anything i've experienced before

@⤫ l. minho living alone... has its perks and its downfalls, right?
do your friends live nearby then?
/asks as i watch you taking off your boots, letting you lead me further in before i make sure char has gotten into the residence as well in case we forget her and she's out again
i do like it. it's... cozy. not over the top but not empty either. definitely feels lived in
/tries to explain though my words aren't the best right now when i feel so down from my day, it's been one of those where you just wish it would end but it seems to dig its heels in
/stumbles closer to you when you tug me in towards yourself, stopping myself from bumping into your chest and instead looking up at you
yeah... you could say that
/half laughs at your observation but there's no happiness to it, it doesn't even carry the usual ring my laughter so often has
i...
/at your offer i'm glancing off to the side, it's easy enough to hide my face from you when i'm shorter anyway and i use it to my advantage like right now
i don't know. just being around you already helps me, a lot. god, does that sound needy? it does, doesn't it?
i'm sorry, don't mean to appear clingy and all that. you just... bring a lot of comfort to me
/without even realising my hand has begun to slip from your own the more i speak, it's my normal response, trying to pull away when i'm frightened, losing myself
suppose that sounds pathetic coming from someone you've known for less than a month
/surprising even myself i shift forward and end up gently thumping my head against your chest, closing my eyelids as i sigh softly under my breath
just make it stop hurting for a little, please... just a little
/pleads though i'm unsure how myself how you're meant to do that, so i simply close my eyelids and turn my face in a bit, nudging your chest and smelling the lingering scent of your cigarettes on the fabric mixing with your cologne
it hurts-
...the world hurts