@chrizztopher
it would have been nice to go to the night market when it was actually open, but the walk was still beautiful and peaceful. would you want to go with me next time?
@chrizztopher
oh my gosh. the magazine is out and this is so embarrassing. i'm really grateful to be able to participate, though, and wearing all the pretty jewels was actually really fun.
@ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ ᴋᴀᴛsᴀᴍᴏɴɴᴀᴛ ᵒᵐᵉᵍᵃ @thailuuur commented: I mean, I might have had some help with that. getting botox injects when I had that health scare might have worked in my favor XD I'll definitely take you to NYC! I'll show you all the good, hidden gems.
@gnabnahc posted
i don't consider myself even remotely fashionable. my closet has been a black hole for as long as i can remember because it's just one less stressor to not have to think about what i'm going to wear that day. all i have to do is throw on a black shirt, jeans, and a hoodie. it's simple. BUT it's been my goal since about mid last year to try to branch out and try new styles that might have been outside my comfort zone before. i got an IG to kind of... catalog my progress? like that was the way to grasp having "aesthetic." i think i'm doing okay?
of course, when i take selcas, i'm mostly in comfy mode. i always feel more confident when i'm wearing a hat or beanie and right after some kind of performance, before i wash my makeup off or take my lenses out. that's when i feel like i'm the most presentable.
i think as idols, people just assume we have a confidence about us all the time because we put ourselves out there when we're on stage, but that's not actually the case. i've never thought very highly of myself or been confident. i don't say this because i want someone to tell me why i should or why i'm wrong (and please don't aggressively compliment me to counter it. I can't handle it). i'm stating a fact. it's the way i feel, regardless of whether someone else thinks i'm irrational.
the thing is, though... it's not necessarily bad. i consider myself not complacent. i'm always trying to grow. i want to gain more muscle weight and be healthier. i want to explore new styles. it's all about becoming a better me and that's my goal in every aspect of life.
