⟢ hotel.

@⊱ rang soojin “My love.” He wished in secret, hating himself for still being stuck on this wish after she broke his heart years ago.

“You remember the flowers I like.” Taeyang never forgot.

He wondered how public exes handled all the information they had on their partners, because Taeyang couldn’t handle being stuck in this public marriage private dumpster fire situation knowing all the things his wife loved, knowing he couldn’t use them genuinely.

Taeyang’s eyes looked down at their hands, her always-common gesture giving him serious relief. Even if he was still in love with her, he was still happy they were friends. Somewhat friends, it was fuzzy. He heard her speak, not realizing the intention behind her words as he answered with a more reserved smile. It was the quiet happiness of a smile that only Soojin and his closest friends had seen.

“You’re right. We’ll be okay after this. I promise.” Taeyang was tempted to put his hand around her waist, but his arm only went so far that his hand was just hovering right above it. From a distance, it looked like what he wanted it to look like.

Taeyang ate like normal during the dinner, keeping an unmoving eye on Soojin and his parents. Their parents, as always, were well-meaning but oblivious to the damage they had caused their children, and Soojin just looked sick. All Taeyang could do was cover it up and get her medicine on the way back to their house.

“Sorry, Soojin must still have less appetite because of our busy work schedules.” Taeyang spoke with an eerily bright smile, like there was a gun to his head forcing to keep up the facade. “I’ll take care of it, don’t worry.” He added casually, taking off some of the freshly-cooked shrimp off of her plate onto his, and the rest onto a smaller one to go.

The dinner officially ended, with the young couple parting ways with their parents. It was a genius choice for them earlier to live in a different neighborhood in the city. The drive home was quiet, only the engine hum and their breathing was heard. It was a normal night for them, as always.

@⊱ jang taeyang "Jinah."

Soojin felt her heart breaking into two as he used his nickname for her, almost robotically taking the flowers from him as she plastered a smile on her face. It broke her knowing this would most likely be the last time she would hear him calling her that and she hated herself for not appreciating it when he used to do that every single time he addressed her before this. It was almost as if he was personally digging a knife into her heart with every interaction he had with her without even knowing it.

"Thank you, my love." She wanted to throw up from the sheer amount of pain she felt in that moment. It was making her sick to her stomach. "You remember the flowers I like." She leaned in, briefly pressing her lips against his cheek. It was yet another stab to her heart. This could've been real and not an act if she hadn't messed everything up. It was her.

Her mother let out a giggle, noting how she should've walked slower so that the pair could have more time to themselves. Soojin couldn't do anything but force a smile that made it look like she was embarrassed on the surface. "Mom, please." Her mother did not have the chance to any further as the rest of their parents caught up and they quickly found themselves heading inside.

Feeling his squeeze on her hand, Soojin leaned a little closer to him as her voice dropped into a whisper. "You're doing great, it'll be fine. It'll all be over soon." On the surface level, her final statement sounded like she was talking about their dinner that night but there was more to it. Nobody would realize until the time came but for now, she chose to carry it in her heart. Nobody had to know... at least, not yet. Soojin tried to swallow the lump in as she patted his hand gently, a gesture she'd always done to comfort him. "It'll all be over soon." She repeats, forcing a smile on her face as they approach the table where their parents are already finding their seats.

"Mother," she calls out to his mother. "I overheard the restaurant staff mentioning that there are freshly caught tiger shrimps today. I'm sure you'll love it." She smiles as she takes her seat, between her mother and her husband. "I heard you can ask for it to be prepared any way you'd like."

It was almost a relief to Soojin as their dinner passed by without a hitch. She barely touched her food, feeling sick to her stomach the entire night. The guilt was slowly getting to her but her fight or flight response was quickly kicking in, and that night, she made a final decision in her heart.

She couldn't stay here any longer. The two of them needed space apart to heal. He was probably still hurting with even just her presence in his life. She would be the one to pull the plug.

@⊱ rang soojin Their relationship had gone off-course so many times that their friendship was buried underneath the useless titles of husband and wife, with co-workers adding an extra heavy burden of weight on it. But because they were still somewhat friends, arguably now just roommates, they could communicate with their eyes faster than anyone else. Of course they could, close friends who have known each other since they were students would understand a certain ‘look’ in an instant. This was usually done in the office for distant nonverbal communication, but it was the most handy whenever they’d meet their parents in more formal and suffocating settings.

Not a single word needed to be said as Taeyang’s eyes met hers, his lovely and genuine looking PR smile appearing as he heard the sound of Soojin’s mother’s voice. She was always scary to him, in the “nice and friendly but will destroy your life if you cross her” sort of way. I guess that’s what aged government officers feel like, next to her Soojin was an absolute angel. He did say in his head that Soojin definitely looked like one in that moment. Her v-neck dress with the full sleeves always made her glow more than usual, and it matched his look perfectly. They were perfect on paper, a visually stunning couple with both hands in the government of this wonderful city. Friends to lovers, formerly academic rivals, beloved by the citizens individually and together. They were the closest they had to some celebrity power couple. They were perfect, they were perfect.

They were the perfect lie, and Taeyang was disgusted at every second of it. His wife’s arm curled around his like clockwork, and he pecked her lightly on the cheek as her mother approached, for good measure. Their parents didn’t know the extent of their relationship’s decay. In fact, the couple’s acting was so convincing that the parents stopped doing any checks or subtle side eyes at their kids acting. To them it was only initial acting then genuine love, for Taeyang and Soojin it was still acting but now with much worse context. It was like two Hollywood actors feeling discomfort while the audience only saw manufactured love. It was hell.

Taeyang had gotten so used to deluding himself into believing that Soojin reciprocated his now-repressed romantic feelings that a kiss to her cheek didn’t burn him as much as it did fresh from their breakup. He still adored her, but the anchor of past events weighed him down.

“Hello, mother-in-law. Nice to see you, you look beautiful! You’re here… early.” He stumbled into a delay for a second, but settled into his “normal” bright speaking tone to her. Taeyang bowed slightly with Soojin’s arm still around his, and he handed his mother-in-law her bouquet. The rest of their parents arrived at their meeting spot soon after, they were probably talking business and Soojin’s mother had always been a speedy walker even in heels.

As the rest of the party arrived, he moved his free hand to give the other bouquet to his wife, with the perfectly manufactured look of love the two had mastered. “For you, Jinah.” he whispered, only soft enough for her to hear but it added to the illusion. Their parents knew about the two’s childhood nicknames for each other, but now using it in acting context felt insulting. All this had to be done.

“Let’s go inside? We have the table reserved, and the hotel has some new dishes in the buffet. I think you’ll like it, Mom.” he spoke while urging the elder pairs to walk. His mother got the more direct comment since she was a fan of shrimp dishes and the buffet had newer items aside from the ala carte things they could order seated.

While walking, Taeyang exhaled freely but quietly. The two were walking behind their parents, even on their anniversary dinner and this night always stressed him out. He couldn’t resist squeezing his wife’s hand, only for a second of relief for him.

@⊱ jang taeyang Soojin gazed at herself in the mirror — she was dressed in her favorite black v-neck long-sleeved dress and her hair was curled into soft waves and half-tied. It brought out the elegance that she already had which was perfect for the occasion of the night.

"It's okay, Soojin. Just get through the night. It'll be over soon." She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. It was painful, the act that the two had to put on for everyone around them when the reality was that they had been living like strangers in their own house ever since the night that their romantic relationship came to an end which ironically brought their friendship down along with it. She was tired — tired of the noise that constantly screamed inside her mind, blaming her for their downfall, blaming her for being so... emotionally constipated, and blaming her for the pain that she put him through. It was her fault that he got hurt and she deserved every inch of his hesitation to be around her now.

"Are you done?"

His voice echoed into the empty restroom, effectively snapping her out of her thoughts as she aggressively blinked the forming tears away. She couldn't let anyone see her with red eyes, not tonight and especially not the five people she would be seeing that night, her husband included. She shook her head to calm herself down as she grabbed her clutch and stepped out of the restroom.

"Sorry for the wait.." She forced a smile that only seemed all too natural now.

"Soojin-ah! Taeyang!"

Almost instinctively getting into her role as his loving wife, she slipped her arm around his as she turned to face the person who had just called out to them — her mother. The torturous night started way too early.

@⊱ rang soojin Backdated – May 15, 2024.

Jang Taeyang, the present mayor of the City of Gohyang, stood in front of a random mirror attached to the wall of the local hotel with two bouquets of flowers in his hand. There were a few mirrors in line with each other to give the hotel a more luxurious feel, and he visibly matched it with his appearance. He didn’t look any different, in fact he actually wore something that was pretty similar to his normal office uniform. It was a two piece suit with the proper tie and shoes to match, but just a little more expensive. Considering the guests he was about to meet at the hotel with his wife, they could easily tell if his clothes were something he wore every day or something he wore just for the occasion. It was their yearly wedding anniversary dinner that they always had with their parents, the rest of that day was normal but the dinner was something the spouses always dreaded.

Checking the state of his hair, face, and (unwrinkled) clothing, the mayor stood by the mirror that was a few paces away from the bathroom where his wife Rang Soojin was freshening up in. The two of them both arrived earlier than the assigned time for the dinner like they normally did because they had to discuss what they were going to update their parents on this time. That, and just getting into the zone of still acting in love with each other. It had become the new normal for them, all this acting, since they managed to convince the rest of the citizens. Their parents were much harder to convince since they knew that the two married for different reasons (to be allowed to run for office with their blessing), but after a few months they assumed the two were actually in love. It was somewhat easy for Taeyang as he kind of deluded himself into thinking the feelings were half-real, but it was one sided. At least this was a rare chance that he got to hold her hand in a closed setting. Most of the time they only barely held hands when walking around their neighborhood, and within the office, they agreed (so did the rest of their ignorant staff) to keep it professional.

Seeing that everything was in place, he leaned by the wall that was by the hallway leading into the bathroom. No one was going in and a handful were coming out, so there was a high chance it was just Soojin alone. He sighed, staring blankly down at the two bouquets in his hand. One for his mother out of courtesy since he doesn’t see her daily and this was a special dinner, the other one was close to identical, with pops of redder flowers. The second bouquet was for Soojin, one that he preferred to handpick himself, compared to his mother’s which he let the local florist arrange.

“Are you done? They’re arriving in 30 minutes.” he half-yelled into the hallway, knowing Soojin would hear him. Nobody would be in that bathroom by now since he saw five people walk in aside from his wife, and the five already walked out.