• library •

@★ kim youngdae *oblivious about your thoughts of my genuine smile which I find too very frequent with you than anyone else, I look away from you at your obvious tease and bite my lip once again and subconsciously my hand tighten on yours deciding not to reply to the tease as I truly have no comeback to that but showing myself as "incompetent" lover despite being created for that sole purpose. Attention tugged toward the big building, I nod and start walking by your side toward it*
Uh...I'm not sure- what do people usually get for Christmas? I never went Christmas shopping before- *gulps as I admit that, looking ahead to avoid your gaze*

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /watching your gaze leaving mine towards the ground before we made eye contact again, I blinked when you showed me a smile that I rarely seen from you, which caused my gaze to drop at the genuine and adorable curling of your lips. Flickering my eyes up at you again when I heard your suggestion, my lips lifted into a small smile.
You even took notice of the dates?
/Teasing you for your attentiveness, my eyes shifted to source for the nearest shopping mall. My mind started to create an impromptu list of things to do. Tightening my grasp around your hand, I nodded towards the building and I tugged you towards it.
Let me know what you want to get.

@★ kim youngdae *despite feeling your thumb brushing my hand, I unconsciously take a step closer to you feeling the need to be closer to you amidst the heightened anxiety, I look between your eyes as if searching for your sincerity and honesty, not wanting you to sugar coat anything for me. When you speak, I drop my gaze aimlessly down before I look back up at you in contemplation and part my lips to say something but I close them after and send you a genuine smile instead. When you change subject, I look ahead at the road we were walking through before I look at you, biting my lip as thats been on my mind and not sure how to act on or what to do, be it my first Christmas with a lover*
... Maybe we go shopping? Christmas is couple of days away-

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /feeling the grip of your hand tightening, my thumb the back of your hand as a form of reassurance as I look between your face that’s scanning me.
Mm.
/I give a verbal confirmation before continuing.
But even if I don’t like it, don’t change yourself for anyone. It’s me that has got to get used to your popularity.
/I used a firm tone before changing topics. Giving a brief glance back at the library, I shook my head.
Small world, huh? Well, there goes the agenda I had in there. Maybe next time.
/I chuckled.
It’s still early, is there anywhere else you like to go?

@★ kim youngdae *walking with you out the library and back in the street, I only halt and blink when I hear your sigh followed by your slowed down pace and turn my body fully to you, eyes roaming and scanning your face as I feel my heart tightening in anxious conclusions of why you seem off despite the smirk you are trying to support on your face. Hearing your words, my own lips stretch into similar smirk to yours and scoff playfully*
Only a little? Even /I/ am surprised-.... You hate it? *dropping the playfulness almost immediately, I gulp as I ask directly and blatantly and anxiously await your answer, my hand subconsciously tightening around your hand as a wave of unexplainable fear of abandonment takes over*

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /pursing my lips when I heard you letting out a laughter, my brows knitted further at the disrespect the other was showing you. My lips pulled into a frown when I heard from another party about you being purchased. Although you have mentioned that to me before, hearing it from others felt different. Although you are speaking in a calm tone, it was obvious that you were far from that. Giving the other a deadpan look, I can’t say that their words didn’t affect me. Glancing back towards you when I heard you trying to end the interaction as soon as possible, I stepped back before turning around when I felt you tugging me, deciding to let it go and leave the other in silence. My eyes flickered towards your back view as I felt the grasp of your hand on mine. Though it was just a short interaction, that was more than enough to catch a glimpse of the reality you had to go through - to be trialed, purchased and unfortunately, returned. Feeling the uneasiness against my chest, I thought for a moment if I would be ready if you ever brought up purchasing, the current answer was not a definite yes. Unhappy with my current answer, I let out an audible exhale, feeling dejected and guilty that I’m even feeling such a way. Slowing down my pace when I felt that we have walked far enough, I debated if I should ask and get to know in depth. My usual way was to not pry, but curiosity was getting a hold of me. Trying to start without being too obvious, I eventually gave a comment, lifting a corner of my lips into a smirk.
Someone’s a little too popular.

@★ kim youngdae *glances at you when you step ahead and grit my teeth more, hating that you are not only witnessing this but also getting dragged into it, wanting to dash away with you and protect you. Listening to you, I pressed my lips together to hide my amusement, mostly to keep displeased/unimpressed upfront in front of the librarian. When he go even more daring and rude, I can't help but let out a laughter from the disrespect before I reply*
Sure, go ahead. Im not one to hide anything and "supposedly" you should know that, knowing me so well to judge me here like this, no? *the level of agitation I reached, made me unusually calm and eyeing the other with anticipation, humoring him and letting him play*
"He liked you that he even purchased you but what did you do? Gave him false hope and led him on for 4 months for your own entertainment. Was it fun seeing him head over heels for you, huh? You broke him!"
*hearing the word purchase, I knew I wouldn't remember any of his accusations to counteract but that still doesn't bother me as I know and trust myself. When he mentions the usual accusation of leading on others, I roll my eyes in amusement but I pause at the specific duration similar to our own which makes me glance at you, wondering if you'd buy his words or make you worried. I make a face eventually and wave a hand dismissively to answer blatantly*
Yes. Now we have places to go, thanks. Tell your friend Ting said hi and hope, although unlikely, he has a better partner now. *wiggles my fingers at the librarian and and turn around, tugging you with me and could only hear silence from the librarian side*

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /glancing towards the librarian as I felt amused hearing the verbal exchange, but it was only when the other started to get physical by grabbing you on the shoulder that I started to get irritated. Stepping forward between you and the man, I raised a hand to put a distance between the other person and us. Eyeing down at the other, I spoke with a low voice.
Reminiscing about the past? Why don't you go back to your friend to do that?
/Seeing him returning an aggressive and judgmental eye contact, I heard him sneering before he looked at you with a threat.
"Should I share what kind of stuff you did to your boy? It's his future after all."
/Furrowing my brows and glaring at the other, I balled my free hand into a fist, feeling agitated the more he continued to sprout his mouth.

@★ kim youngdae *feeling your hand tightening around my own, I squeeze back letting you know I'm fine and I got this. When the guy starts by attacking me right away, my brows furrow more into a scowl as I feel me getting agitated by those kind of accusations out of no where and even outside of the mansion. Noticing your gaze at me, Im more annoyed you have to witness this unfolding and I hate how referred to you as my newest boy as if I have new one every other day or so*
What? You want a piece of me now too that your friend isn't with me? How a good friend are you, huh? But yeah, unfortunately for you as you can see. The spot is taken now. Try again later. *not bothering to deny his accusations, instead I humor them and flip it on him being salty for wanting my attention instead, I nod toward you as my "newest boy" and decide thats enough for attentioning the human, I turn around and take you with me but he wasn't amused and reached his hand over to grab my shoulder to which I rolled to shrug his hand off and turn around with added agitation that he touched me*
Hands off.
"as if Im dying to touch you. I've seen and heard enough to know how toxic you are and who in their right mind would want that?" *the librarian snarled and went again to jap at you with his words, sparing you a judging glance which made me grit my teeth wanting to hide you away*
I don't know what your or your friend ing issue is but I'm sure he was/is just crying he couldn't get me, but guess what? A life lesson for you, one can't force a connection and things come naturally.... Just like my distaste to you now. *starts with annoyance but calms myself to smirk and give the other a judging once over*

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /my eyes roamed around your serious expression before glancing to a side, pursing my lips and lifting a corner of my lips, understanding your meaning before I look towards the other. Hearing your name from the male, I diverted my eyes towards you in confusion then back at him again. Tightening my grasp on your palm, I watch the other adjusting his spectacle before re-introducing himself to you.
“Too many boys that you forgot whose friend you played with? It’s Jaejun. Out with your newest boy?”
/Hearing his rude words, my brows furrowed as I turned my attention back at you, waiting for answers.

@★ kim youngdae *maintains a straight and rather serious face as if meaning every word I just said to throw it at you, my attention is diverted to the librarian, eyeing his tall frame down then back to his face adorned with glasses, till you move and I looking your way when you place the book back and take my wrist, pulling my hand upward enough to slip my hand in yours instead of having you dragging me by the wrist. When the librarian stops us, we pause and I raise a brow when he calls my name, looking at him then you feeling like a hoe caught with ex situationships. However, my defensive walls go high up out of reflex and I furrow my brows in the slightest to keep a y front as I eye the guy up and down again*
Who's asking?

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /equally surprised, I winced, feeling your bite on my lips to which I quickly let go of your hand in my pocket and bringing it up to press my lips with the back of my hand, stepping backwards when I felt your hand pushing against my chest to create a distance. With the book shielding my face, I glanced at you with a racing heartbeat, can’t imagine being caught this quickly. Hearing you throwing me under the bus, I rolled my eyes with a shake of my head before peeking out through the side of the book at the stranger. There stood a bespectacled male with a tall frame, wearing such a solemn expression as if he had never felt emotions before. Not receiving any friendly vibes from that guy, I reached out to grab hold of your wrist.
Let’s go.
“Wait a minute.”
/I gave the other a sideeye, thinking that he might know me, but saw him looking at you.
“You’re Zhengting, aren’t you?”

@★ kim youngdae *my eyes flicker up curiously upon sensing movement and I see you pulling out a book and spread it which makes me bite my lips momentarily to stop me from grinning or worse giggling at the secrecy of stealing a kiss in public and Im easily brought back into you upon your gaze, my own following yours in falling to your lips, my own releasing from my teeth to part ever so lightly in anticipation the closer you get to me till our hot breaths mix and for a moment all my other senses blocked for anything but us; that's unless we hear a voice scolding us which make me send my eyes wide and lower my knee from your leg but Im mostly frustrated to which I cant help but bite on your lip quick as if its your fault we are getting caught and I pull away just as quick and push at your chest while blatantly complaining in front of the stranger, fully blaming it on you*
Geez I told you get a grip of yourself till we are home-

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@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /liking the fact that you don’t shy away from the advances, feeling your hips pressed against mine, I leaned closer towards you. Reaching my hand out to pick out a random soft cover book, I spread the pages out with a hand and brought it up near our faces to as act a “barricade” in shielding our faces. Glancing between your eyes and lips, I was getting closer towards tasting those lips again when I heard someone else, a voice that sounded very close by.
“Ahem. Not there.”

@★ kim youngdae *my brows raise up when Im maneuvered against the bookshelf beside me which makes my heart skip a beat and immediately pick up a faster pace in thrill of your bold advances in public, especially with your public image to keep. Sparkling excited eyes fixated on you while being hyperaware of the publicity, my lips stretch into lopsided smirk, using my hand thats in your pocket to bring you even closer to me and I teasingly lift my hips off the bookshelf to touch yours, one of my leg bending slightly to have my knee teasingly touch the outer side of your leg, whispering lowly*
Yeah? And that something else is...?

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /squeezing your hand that I’m still holding in the pocket of my jacket, I snickered when you questioned me, leaning closer and aiming to get your back against the bookshelf beside you.
Was.
/using my free hand, I pressed my palm on the shelf beside your shoulder to trap you between myself and the bookshelf.
Now, rather than a dare, it became something else.
/my eyes darted down at your lips after looking between your eyes, feeling a thrill at the act of mine in such a public space.

@★ kim youngdae *when I realize its me you are talking about, I feel dumb and embarrassed that I got ahead of myself and went far as feeling offended eventually of my own self, I glance off to the side and fight the smugness that appear on corner of my lips that tug up but I typically focus on something else, I look back at you with a raised brow*
Was?

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /rolled my eyes at your stubbornness. glanced back at you, looking at your seemingly offended expression before lifting a smirk.
Someone? Who else have that capability than you? All I remember was being so challenged by you that everything you say or do is a dare to me.

@★ kim youngdae Yeah, you. *clicks my tongue as I refuse to give in, looking through the books in front of us then glance at you with rather offended look you were dared to rather than wanted to*
Someone dared you to kiss me??!

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ Only a real will know what is.
/I teases. Hearing you scoffing out a response, I gave you a brief glance before looking away, playing along and not expecting you to remember the first few moments of us.
Hmm~ I wonder who. Must be because it’s a dare.

@★ kim youngdae Must be something real and then. *rolls my eyes to stubbornly emphasize that I'm not and not having such thoughts. Seeing your offended expression, I grin toothily then look at the next book before I scoff at your feigned innocence*
Yeah right. I wonder who grabbed me and kissed me 2 days in.

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ Whatever you’re not envisioning, of course
/replies with equal sarcasm. Turns my head towards you when you chose the latter with an offended eye roll before looking back at the title of the next book.
The kiss thief.
/lips curled into a smirk.
Couldn’t be me.

@★ kim youngdae Yeah? What did you envision then, mr. /not/ ? *rolls eyes and speak sarcastically before roll of my eyes end on the book you are touching, the titles making my brows raise up and pick my interest*
The latter. Next. *bites my lip as I jokingly choose loathe and calls for the next book*

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /watching your head shake before I felt your hand on my face to turn my vision away from you, I let out a chuckle.
The is you, indeed.
/Looking at the titles on the shelves, I reached my hand out, pointing to the backbone of the books that reminded me of us and reading aloud to get your attention.
The dare. To love or to loathe.

@★ kim youngdae *as long as your eyes where away from me, I felt safe to keep my own on you, only glancing off in softy of alarm when you suddenly glance my way. However, upon hearing your unhinged words, my gaze shoot back to your face with widened eyes before I shake my head and use my free hand to turn your head away and back to the books*
.

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /sensing you seemingly burning a hole in me, I kept my head turned away from you as I skimmed the book titles on the shelves, feeling my cheeks heated up.
Lesser effort? Imagination helps with the creativity.
/I briefly look back towards your face before looking down at your attire, lifting a playful smirk.
Such as imagining you in lesser layers while we’re out in the public.

@★ kim youngdae *too hyperfocused on our hands in your pocket, my eyes preoccupied with looking at your perfectly shaped side profile to pay the books a glance*
Hmmm, maybe? Or maybe because it takes less effort to sit and watch rather than sit and read and well, imagine...?

@♡ zhu zhengting ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ /walks down the aisle with you, feeling my heart accelerating with our hands in my pocket, looking at the various titles on the bookshelves, nodding at your response.
Right, I forgot the existence of movies and shows. You’re more of a visual learner?

@★ kim youngdae *although I'm the one who reached for your hand, my heart skips a beat and warms up when our hands is comfortable and warmly tucked into your jacket pocket, I take a delayed moment to reply*
....yes? Movies and shows