RanWan PWP

@Chu Wanning The meal times that they shared together were getting more and more casual, with Mo Ran steering conversation so that he could manipulate Chu Wanning into eating the necessary nutrients for the day. Other times, it was filled with stories that updated Chu Wanning about the errand Mo Ran had been sent on, and what choices he had made that day to ensure that there were no casualties amongst the common folks while he slayed demon spirits. This time, Chu Wanning wasn't eating and Mo Ran had nothing to recount other than the fact that he had a fitful sleep for a good chunk of his night. He ate his porridge in silence, not wanting to scare Chu Wanning off by bringing up what he had done last night. His Shizun was already quite timid to begin with, so there was no point in trying to address something that Chu Wanning wasn't comfortable with. If he really didn't like it, he'd give Mo Ran a scolding in return. Right, not talking about it was saving both of them their last shred of dignity.

Mo Ran finished the porridge and chased it down with the bitter medicine that Madame Wang had boiled for him. He scrunched his face up and stunk a piece of the lotus root cake that he had tried to offer Chu Wanning earlier. His Shizun had stayed with him for the entire meal, though he had left all the food for Mo Ran to eat. "I'm really feeling better Shizun," Mo Ran insisted, sitting up straighter to show Chu Wanning how his Shizun's gentleness and devoted care towards him had improved his health immensely. Mo Ran thought silently and then smiled again, his usual energy on full display for Chu Wanning, "I'll do light meditation, Shizun. Then, I'll find you for dinner tonight. Same place, same time!" Mo Ran promised.

Mo Ran knew that expecting an answer from his Shizun was unlikely, but he also didn't want Chu Wanning to just up and leave before he could get his last thought across. As Chu Wanning headed for the door, Mo Ran's hand flew in the direction of his Shizun, as if gesturing for him to return. "Ah- Shizun!" he called, a slight desperation laced into his voice. When Chu Wanning turned back to look at him, Mo Ran rubbed the nape of his neck, and then smiled earnestly at his wonderful, compassionate Shizun, "Thank you for taking care of me, Shizun. You are the best Shizun ever."

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@Mo Ran Once Chu Wanning heated up the medicine and returned to Mo Ran's bedroom, he was beginning to wish Mo Ran stayed asleep just a little longer — long enough that Chu Wanning could leave breakfast by his table and leave to attend to his own duties so that they would not have to face each other when Mo Ran woke. He didn't know what to say aside from the occasional instruction for Mo Ran to eat up or drink the medicine while it was still hot. He waited until Mo Ran finished everything, then collected his bowls back onto the tray. Chu Wanning was immensely glad to see Mo Ran was doing much better, but now all they were doing was staring at each other in absolute, utter silence. Inexplicably, his face warmed, and he tore his gaze away from Mo Ran. He was being so ridiculous. Just because he looked after his disciple for one night didn't mean Mo Ran owed him anything. This was his duty. "Stay in bed and rest today," Chu Wanning said, fumbling to pick up the tray in one hand and the bucket and towels in the other. "You may resume your tasks and duties tomorrow instead."

@Chu Wanning "Ah Shizun, wait-" Mo Ran called out as Chu Wanning handed over the food and took off again. It was so audacious of him to be sitting in bed, as if he were being waited on by Chu Wanning when he was sick. If he were Taxian Jun, Mo Ran would've cackled in laughter at how Chu Wanning was like a little errand boy, tending to his every need whether the other was willing to or not. But now, Mo Ran was Mo Zongshi, the disciple of Chu Zongshi, and he felt utterly pompous and unruly to be letting his Shizun care for him hand and leg.

Left with no other choice than to wait for Chu Wanning's promised return, Mo Ran picked up the watery bowl of porridge, staring it down. There was nothing on top of the rice porridge, not even a scallion. This simplicity made something very clear in Mo Ran's heart: Chu Wanning had prepared this porridge himself. If it were from the cooks in Mengpo Hall, Mo Ran would expect to see the yellowish strands of ginger and an oily layer over the top of the porridge from the communal pots that they used to cook every meal. This bowl of porridge was pristinely white, and looked to be prepared just for him. Mo Ran didn't taste anything, but the warmth of the porridge and its origins soothed his stomach immensely. Sip after sip, he ate without complaint, his eyes glued to the door in anticipation of Chu Wanning's return.

@Mo Ran "I brought these over for you," Chu Wanning said, disliking the idea of eating in bed. He was only making an exception for Mo Ran because he was sick; otherwise, Chu Wanning would be dragging him to the dining hall by the ear if he ever discovered Mo Ran eating in bed, dropping crumbs between the sheets and staining the covers with soup. "You were sleeping all day, you didn't eat yet..." Come to think of it, Chu Wanning hadn't eaten all day either, entirely too focused on maintaining Mo Ran's temperature throughout the day. His tightened as soon as he realized his hunger, but what was a missed meal or two if it meant Mo Ran was well on his way to recovery? Chu Wanning eased the tray back over Mo Ran's lap so the bowl would catch the porridge if it missed his mouth or dripped off his spoon. From the way Mo Ran was speaking to him, it seemed he hadn't noticed the assault from Chu Wanning earlier. The knowledge of this relaxed the older man, and he gathered all of the used cloths together in a small bundle so they could be taken to be laundered. "I will be back. I had Madam Wang prepare some medicine for your fever; I have to go get it."

@Chu Wanning Mo Ran didn't have nightmares when Chu Wanning was next to him, though he was sure his Shizun wouldn't listen to his excuses, much less buy into them. He woke up when he heard the door to his bedchambers open and close, and besides him a warm, yet empty spot. Chu Wanning had rushed out of here without a word, surely because he hated the thought of sharing a bed with his disciple. That much was understandable, it was Mo Ran's fault for being so bold anyways. He felt his energy drain from his muscles though, not having the heart to chase after Chu Wanning to hear rejection. Perhaps if they both pretended this never happened, he'd be able to pick himself back up and return back to normal. That was, after he got a little more sleep.

When Mo Ran woke next, it was to the sound of Chu Wanning's voice. He could recognize it even with his eyes closed, so he didn't hesitate to open his eyes and sit up when his Shizun called for him. "Ah- Shizun," Mo Ran greeted, surprised to see that Chu Wanning had returned after Mo Ran acted without his permission last night. "Eat..." he repeated, his eyes lowering to the tray in Chu Wanning's hands. His Shizun had brought...breakfast for him?

Now Mo Ran felt even more conflicted and guilty. He was always so quick to judge Chu Wanning, calling him thin-faced and prideful that the possibility of his Shizun leaving to return with breakfast for Mo Ran had never even crossed his mind. And then that caused his mind to wander even more. Did Chu Wanning really not mind waking up in the same bed as his disciple? Was Mo Ran overthinking this all along, and could possibly imagine a future where his Shizun...

No, that was too much wishful thinking. He quickly accepted the tray from Chu Wanning's hands and sat criss-crossed in bed, placing the food in his lap. "This disciple thanks Shizun," Mo Ran rasped, speaking for the first time in the morning. He looked up at Chu Wanning, perhaps a little lost puppy expression in his eyes, "Will you eat with me Shizun?" Mo Ran asked, noting that there were some lotus root pastries on his plate. His Shizun enjoyed those snacks with tea, so surely he was planning to join Mo Ran? Inching back so that he could rest against the wall, Mo Ran placed the tray between himself and Chu Wanning, and he held out the platter of his Shizun's favorites first, "Please Shizun, have some."

@Mo Ran When did Chu Wanning fall asleep? He was supposed to be watching his disciple. But when Chi Wanning did wake, something was not quite right. For one, he was far too comfortable, when he was sure he explicitly forbade himself from sitting on Mo Ran's bed, let alone sleep on it. He sat up with a start when he realized how close they were lying together on the narrow bed, sweeping his hair back over his shoulder to smooth out his flustered appearance. It was still dark, and probably nowhere near morning, but Mo Ran was still sleeping despite Chu Wanning's shuffling around. Chu Wanning's heart was sore at the sight. Mo Ran was so sick; but at least that meant there was little to no chance that he knew of the sin Chu Wanning had committed. Mo Ran slept leaning against the wall, his head turned so that the now-dry cloth had fallen off his forehead.

Chu Wanning took a deep breath, sliding off the bed so he could readjust the sheets over Mo Ran's body. Although Mo Ran would probably prefer to rest, he would need to eat to recover his strength. Chu Wanning headed for the kitchens to reheat a bowl of porridge for Mo Ran, carrying it all the way back to the dorm on a tray along with an assortment of other light snacks Mo Ran could nibble on if his appetite was decent.

"Wake up," Chu Wanning said once he lit a light, enshrouding the room in a warm, soft glow. He reached out to prod at Mo Ran's shoulder, giving him a little shake. As soon as he touched Mo Ran's shoulder, he realized he could have, and should have gotten Shi Mingjing to do this part. He was sure Mo Ran would rather wake to a pretty face hand-feeding him porridge than Chu Wanning's affectless stare. "You slept all day. You should eat something now."

@Chu Wanning Mo Ran stared at Chu Wanning's sleeping face. His eyes adjusted to the dim lighting in the room, making it easier to see his Shizun's clean, sharp features. He had seen this sleeping face many times before. Not in this life, but in the past. When Chu Wanning was his Concubine Chu, Mo Ran would have often engage in such debauchery and callous manhandling of the other that he'd get to watch Chu Wanning's sleeping face almost every night. His Shizun had been fragile in his past life, having lost both his spiritual core and had been subjected to endless torture at Mo Ran's hands, day in and out. Mo Ran remembered that those were the rare times when Chu Wanning's eyes didn't stare at him coldly, and the older would look peaceful. It was almost enraging back then. Mo Ran used to think how this man dared to have a moment of peace after all the pain and torture he put Mo Ran through.

Now he was starting to understand just how stupid his notions were. Chu Wanning had been nothing but benevolent towards his disciple, ever since Mo Ran came under his apprenticeship. His Shizun had been the one to hold him by his hand and teach him how to hold a brush, how to wield a sword. As he looked down at the Yuheng Elder's sleeping face, almost as if the older was on edge while he was sleeping, Mo Ran pulled back just a little more, not wanting to startle Chu Wanning. "Shizun...I'm so sorry," he whispered hoarsely. Of course, it'd be absurd to expect any kind of response, so Mo Ran didn't.

He continued to stare, but found that his urge to hold Chu Wanning and repent only grew stronger. Mo Ran couldn't bear to think of sleeping on the bed when his Shizun was curled up against his bedframe, his legs kneeling on the ground. Carefully, Mo Ran got up and gently picked Chu Wanning up. While he was still sickly, his strength had not been depleted. Mo Ran laid the older gently on the bed before laying back down besides Chu Wanning. It was preposterous of him to even want anything else, but he knew deep down that he was craving Chu Wanning's touch, and that he would almost certainly never have this chance to be so intimate with his Shizun again.

This life was different. Mo Ran wasn't the tyrant who thirsted for bloodshed anymore. In fact, he'd do anything to prevent it. That would mean his Chu Fei would never return to his side, and only his respectable, untouchable Shizun remained. He would never choose to lock his Shizun up and humiliate him like that ever again...but was it so wrong to care for his Shizun? To desire and love him? Mo Ran stared intensely at Chu Wanning's sleeping face, his eyes narrowing in on the older's lips. Right...it would just be this once. Mo Ran would never do anything to hurt his Shizun ever again. It was a secret that he'd lock up in the deepest part of his heart and never let to see the daylight again. The one last thing he'd do to surrender to his feelings towards Chu Wanning? A gentle kiss on the lips, just long enough for him to remember the touch of those cool petals against his own and then he laid back down, squeezing his eyes in guilt and longing.

@Mo Ran Chu Wanning must have gone insane. On his walk back to the kitchens, he almost wanted to raise a hand and strike himself across his face. Why did he do that? If anyone saw, or ever found out, Chu Wanning was going to leave Sisheng Peak. He'd sooner beg Rufeng Sect and Nangong Liu to take him back than live with the knowledge that someone knew he violated his disciple like a dirty, ed old man.

The porridge was bubbling by the time Chu Wanning returned to tend to it, and he stirred in such an agitated way that a few droplets splashed out of the pot, narrowly missing his hand. He jerked back, dropping the ladle he was using to stir. He had to get himself together. As far as he was concerned, no one saw, and if Chu Wanning continued to act so guilty, then someone was going to figure it out. He took a deep breath, picking up the ladle again so that the could taste the porridge. It was bland and tasted monotonous, but if Mo Ran was so sick than he wouldn't be able to taste anything, anyway. Chu Wanning set it aside to heat up again when Mo Ran woke before returning to the disciples' quarters to check on Mo Ran.

Even after he calmed down a little, Chu Wanning couldn't help but feel extremely stupid. It was just a selfish action. It wasn't as if kissing Mo Ran would help the younger man recover quicker. It was just that Chu Wanning wanted to see what it was like to kiss someone — someone who he loved. Now that he thought about it, Chu Wanning couldn't help but feel a little regret. He had done it in such a sneaky manner, and Mo Ran would, either luckily or unluckily, never know about it. It wasn't how he imagined it to go. But the idea of kissing a conscious Mo Ran, and the idea of Mo Ran kissing him back, heated Chu Wanning's face to an impossibly bright red.

The rest of the day passed with Chu Wanning watching Mo Ran closely for any signs of him getting better, and to change his forehead towels out frequently. Day turned to night, and Mo Ran slumbered still, but at least he wasn't shifting or crying anymore. Chu Wanning didn't dare sit over the edge of Mo Ran's bed anymore, afraid that he would lose his self control again. He rested on the ground, but after sitting for so long, his body decided it was time to rest, and he fell asleep with his arm splayed over the bed and his cheek pressed against the sheets, oblivious to the world around him.

@Chu Wanning Chu Wanning's dedication to changing the towels on Mo Ran's forehead whenever they got hot provided relief for the sick young man. He had fallen back asleep without any further twitching, leaving the agitation in favor of lying straight and still in the same position that he had fallen unconscious in. There were some fragments of dreams here and there, but at least the torture of being able to see but not being to touch his Shizun wasn't at the forefront of Mo Ran's mind at that point.

A good, long sleep was all Mo Ran usually relied on to overcome his bouts of depression and illness. He finally came to when it was dark outside, his entire head feeling foggy and heavy when he blinked his eyes open, as if there were a sack of rice weighing his head down. Mo Ran could make out the faint outline of the window in his room. It was dark out too, which could only mean that it was night time already. How long had he fallen asleep for?

Though Mo Ran was certain there was someone who had been so kind to extend their grace to him when he was at his lowest moment, he realized very quickly that he was in his own bedchamber back on Sisheng Peak. Who would be willing to come and his head to comfort him? It had to be an illusion, and that stark realization was a wake-up call for Mo Ran. Right, he had to look out for himself. Otherwise, how else would he be able to properly cherish and look after his Shizun-

His Shizun?! As Mo Ran turned his body to roll off his bed, he saw a figure sleeping at the edge of his bed. He didn't need a spell to see that it was Chu Wanning who had fallen asleep by his bedside. The image was Chu Wanning, but whether Mo Ran believed it was the real person was a different story. He saw the gentle rise and fall of his Shizun's shoulders, a clear sign that he was asleep. Mo Ran could see the faint white color of Chu Wanning's robes, still shimmery white despite the pitch black in the room. How did Chu Wanning end up here?

Mo Ran's breath hitched, as he dared to imagine that it was his Shizun whose hand he had leaned into earlier that day. Had he only leaned in? Had he done something more unscrupulous? His brow twitched as he stared at Chu Wanning's sleeping figure, trying to make out the older's facial features in the dark. His Shizun must've fallen asleep here on accident, but Mo Ran couldn't bear to see him on the floor. His heart felt a pang of sorrow as he realized he'd made the best, best Shizun in the world toil over him again. Leaning in close with his breath held shut, he got up close to Chu Wanning's sleeping face. "Shizun..." he called, barely above a whisper, "Shizun...are you awake?"

@Mo Ran It was only when Mo Ran calmed down and stopped moving about in his sleep that Chu Wanning knew to feel ashamed. His hand, trapped between Mo Ran's burning cheek and his rough hand, was numb. He liked Mo Ran, he could accept that, but to act on his unknowing disciple while he was unconscious from a fever? Chu Wanning was truly despicable. The worst part was, while Mo Ran was still asleep, Chu Wanning didn't want to remove his hand. He wanted to stay in his position for as long as he was allowed, his hand pressed tenderly against Mo Ran's cheek, and Mo Ran's hand gripping his. Mo Ran had grown, he thought. His disciple's hand engulfed his own, and was much darker than he remembered.

Mo Ran had really grown up, Chu Wanning thought wistfully. The young boy who pestered Chu Wanning until he gave in and accepted Mo Ran as his disciple was no more, and without Chu Wanning around he still grew into a find young man. Chu Wanning had been afraid, at first. He was afraid Mo Ran would grow too independent and no longer need him, the way Chu Wanning decided he could think for himself when he was young and left Wubei Temple on his own, never to return, without even a single feeling of missing home even to this day. He had been like that, but he didn’t want Mo Ran to be the same. Mo Ran’s eyelids twitched again and Chu Wanning’s fingers tensed against his face. “Shizun is here,” he repeated, choosing to believe, in that moment, that Mo Ran wanted him around.

He was not sure who or what possessed him in that moment. Mo Ran was in pain, and Chu Wanning just wanted to take it away. It happened when he removed the warm cloth from Mo Ran's forehead. Instead of replacing it with a fresh towel, Chu Wanning bent and brushed his lips against Mo Ran's head. He felt warm beneath his lips, and Chu Wanning drew away as quick as he had leaned in.

He had gone crazy. There was something truly, truly wrong with him. Hurrying to change out the cloth, Chu Wanning was haphazard as he shoved Mo Ran's hand back under the covers, terrified Mo Ran would open his eyes any moment and realize what a depraved person Chu Wanning was. 'What?' Chu Wanning was prepared snap if Mo Ran gave him that look. 'You wanted your mother, didn't you?' "I'll be back," he wheezed instead, more to himself than Mo Ran. He couldn't stand to be in the stuffy room for a moment longer. "Have to check on the porridge-"

@Chu Wanning Mo Ran had craved human touch all along, just without knowing it. He couldn't discern what was touching him, much less take a guess at the person, but his body seemed to instinctively recognize another person's body heat. It was so rare that anyone would reach out and brush against him, much less caress him. Leaning his feverish cheek against the touch, Mo Ran quieted down and his eyelids stilled again. He continued to rest, only feeling wave after wave of heat coursing through his body. What was he to do other than pray for that feeling of being touched to linger?

When his arms had wrapped around Chu Wanning's figure in the Miaoyin Springs, he knew that a fire had been ignited in his heart. He so desperately wanted to hold his Shizun in his arms. Even if it meant he had to lock the older up, Mo Ran craved Chu Wanning in his embrace. He wanted to tighten his arms around the older without needing any justification, just like Taxian Jun did. And now, there was no chance of that ever happening. The thought was torturous, and even his dreams couldn't appease his darkest fantasies anymore.

His hand reached out from under the covers to grab the person who held him, and Mo Ran brought it to his cheek, cradling it dearly, full of desperation while he slowly drifted back to sleep with this new warmth added to his fiery hot body.

@Mo Ran Chu Wanning was beginning to worry that he hadn’t brought enough towels over. Mo Ran was running hot, and Chu Wanning could barely keep up with wringing out towels and laying them over Mo Ran’s forehead. He was beginning to think he should have just asked for Madame Wang to come over to the disciples’ quarters herself when Mo Ran spoke again. He wasn’t speaking coherently — only calling for Chu Wanning. For a moment, Chu Wanning balked. When did Mo Ran go from calling his mother to calling for him? Or was it that Mo Ran was having a nightmare, and Chu Wanning was the villain in that scene? He found it hard to fathom that Mo Ran would want him, of all people, in that moment.

“That’s right,” Chu Wanning managed to say through a hitched breath, sitting at the edge of Mo Ran’s bed. “Shizun is here.” Mo Ran was beginning to move about again. Perhaps he was fighting Chu Wanning in his dream. Although the younger man was buried tightly beneath the covers, Chu Wanning rested a hand over the top of the sheets, where Mo Ran’s chest would be. It was then he noticed the reflection of light off Mo Ran’s cheek. Was he crying? Chu Wanning froze for the nth time in that room that day. What was he to do…?

Mo Ran was asleep. He wouldn’t be able to judge whether Chu Wanning was stepping over a line or not. Slowly, Chu Wanning extended his hand over Mo Ran’s pale face. His cheeks were burning hot when he brushed his finger against Mo Ran’s face, delicately flicking away the tears that stained his skin. “Don’t cry,” he mumbled, the words feeling foreign on his tongue. "Shizun... is right here."

@Chu Wanning There was a voice that called out to Mo Ran, and it comforted him immensely, like it was stroking his heavy shoulders and his tight-wrung back. That voice was firm, but there was a softness to it when he really listened. Mo Ran felt the stuffy air around him clear up, and his cold shivers slowly died down to minor trembles as he curled up under the reappearing covers. In his haze, he didn't think much of the situation, only wanting to rest so that his body might have the chance to fend for itself, not daring to rely on the conduct of anyone else to help him recuperate.

It must've been a while later, but Mo Ran felt comfort wash over his body as his forehead stopped burning. He could breathe normally without wincing, and the general unease in his body seeped away. The gentle voice from earlier caressed his ears again, and Mo Ran instinctively turned his head towards it. He had once been saved before, as a young child. His savior had been a loving soul who extended a helping hand to a child on the brink of death. Perhaps Taxian Jun just had the ill-fate of never crossing paths with another just as kind-hearted, but here Mo Ran was, thinking that there was someone who might care about his low life after all.

The act of kindness made him think of Chu Wanning. His Shizun often appeared cold and spoke harshly, but his heart was tender, and his nature was kind. Chu Wanning was benevolent towards Mo Ran, despite all of his offenses. It was his worst fear that one day, Chu Wanning might see that it was no use to extend his grace to this unworthy disciple, and he would renounce Mo Ran's apprenticeship. "Sh-shizun..." Mo Ran muttered, his breath heavy as he tried to plead softly, "Shizun..." The rest of the words were swallowed down his throat, but as he tried to convey his deepest apologies and regret to the older in his vision, tears welled up in his eyes and slid down his burning hot cheeks.

@Mo Ran When Mo Ran didn't spring up immediately, Chu Wanning knew he had made a mistake. Mo Ran hadn't looked so small in so long, his knees curled toward his chest as he trembled in bed. Pulling the covers back up over Mo Ran, all the way up to his chin, Chu Wanning turned around for a moment to collect himself. Had Mo Ran been sick before? Possibly. Had Chu Wanning done anything about it then? No, that was a job for the infirmary. It seemed heartless, but what use was Chu Wanning when it came to trivial illnesses? Mo Ran had been fine the night before; he probably caught a chill. Yes, Chu Wanning was of no use in this area. He'd best call for-

"Niang..."

Chu Wanning turned. His body moved with a mind of its own upon hearing Mo Ran's pitiful cry, reaching out to brush Mo Ran's damp bangs away from his forehead. Mo Ran never talked about his mother, and it was only then that Chu Wanning realized again with a painful pang in his heart just how much Mo Ran silently endured. He straightened up, a little more resolute than he was before Mo Ran whimpered so sadly. He may not be Mo Ran's mother, but he was his shizun. There must be something he could do. "I'll be back," he murmured, pushing Mo Ran's hand back under the covers.

He'd had never actively taken care of a sick person before, not even himself. But while Chu Wanning lacked knowledge in that area, he did possess common sense. When one was sick, they needed to be comfortable and get plenty of rest while maintaining a temperature that was not too high nor too low. Once he'd asked for Madame Wang to cook medicine, he dropped by the kitchens to start a pot of porridge. None of the cooks were around during that time of the day, but no matter. Porridge was just rice and a lot of water, wasn't it? It would be better for Mo Ran if it was plain, anyway. Feeling daring, Chu Wanning added a bit of salt before lidding the pot and leaving it to boil.

Mo Ran's eyes were still closed when Chu Wanning returned with a bucket of water and as many cloths as he could carry, though the way his eyelids twitched were telling of the dreams or nightmares he was having. Wringing one of the cloths out with cool water, Chu Wanning pushed Mo Ran to lie on his back so that he could wipe his face of sweat first. He tried not to think too much about how tenderly domestic this was — it was his duty, as Mo Ran's teacher. Mo Ran didn't have a mother or a father, and Xue Meng wasn't going to wipe his face for him. Chu Wanning tossed aside the first cloth, then wrung out a second one to drape over the younger man's forehead. That should cool him down a little. "There," Chu Wanning said, quiet in case Mo Ran could hear him. "I'm making you something to eat, so just rest until it's ready."

@Chu Wanning Chu Wanning rarely, if ever, step foot into his disciple's quarters. That alone should've been enough to make Mo Ran shoot out of bed when he realize his Shizun had come to his doors looking for him. But the illness in his body made him nothing short of delirious, and he hardly stirred when light filtered into the dark room from the open door. Mo Ran registered something low, like a comforting buzz, but he didn't think to interpret the words. Instead, he shivered when the covers were pulled off his sweat-soaked body, and he curled up into himself, like he was getting blasted by the north wind. Mo Ran didn't open his eyes, but his brows did furrow in his discomfort, a small bead of sweat trickling down his forehead and catching in the crevice of his nose. He took a sharp breath, but then eventually stilled again.

When he had fallen ill as a young child, he remembered the warm and gentle hands of his mother wrapping him up tightly in her only shawl, pulling it around his neck to keep him warm. Mo Ran would feebly sip at the porridge that his mother held up to his lips, tasting nothing but bland, watery rice. He wished his mother would just eat it in his stead, but it was during those days when she would eat even less than normal, choosing to go hungry than to let her child suffer even more. Mo Ran had always been the resilient little street devil though, and with sheer mentality, he'd will himself to get better. If he had succumbed to his illness, who knew if he'd have died the beggar to the streets many years ago, and the history of Taxian Jun forever rewritten in the stars.

"Niang..." Mo Ran called weakly in his sickly state, his lips dried as he gasped through his mouth. He was in discomfort, but knew that nothing would treat him better than a sweet word of encourage from his mother. As a child, Mo Ran was used to the cold and he was used to hunger pains. The one thing he missed the most when he lost his mother was the call of her sweet voice, full of love for him that no one else in this world would ever afford him again.

@Mo Ran Chu Wanning wasn't in a good mood after Mo Ran missed breakfast. How shameless was that Mo Weiyu that he could ask to eat every meal with Chu Wanning and then have the nerve to not show up? There had been several close calls before where he had been out working on a request, but he always made it back in time for the evening meal. Who did Mo Ran think he was? He was not the one who had the right to decide whether he wanted to be there or not.

What was only a slightly soured mood turned into fury when Mo Ran was absent for a morning lecture. Neither Shi Mingjin nor Xue Meng had an idea where Mo Ran was, yet both were subject to Chu Wanning's abrasive temper throughout their lesson. While he watched his two disciples practice, Chu Wanning grew more and more restless. At first, he told himself he didn't care — in the five years he'd been gone, Mo Ran had made a name for himself out there. He was busy, under the sect leader's orders, and there wasn't anything Chu Wanning could do about that. But the longer he sat with that thought, the more irritated he became. Hadn't Mo Ran swore so many times already he would listen well from now on? What exactly was the meaning of this?

Letting Shi Mingjin and Xue Meng go early, Chu Wanning made his way to Mo Ran's room. "Just who does he think he is?" he muttered to himself, ignoring the wide-eyed greeting of a bewildered disciple as he stormed past him. "Mo Weiyu, you are asking for a beating-" he gritted out, half a mind to summon Tianwen as he opened the door to Mo Ran's room without so much as an announcement. What stopped him was not a rational thought, but how dark the room was. The curtains were drawn, not letting in even a sliver of light. There was a bump on the bed that Chu Wanning presumed to be a slumbering Mo Ran, sleeping in without a sense of urgency or care in the world. A lump formed in Chu Wanning's throat, and he strode over to rip the covers off Mo Ran. "Mo Weiyu, I leave for a few years and you learn to sleep in and miss your lessons?" Chu Wanning did not add 'And breakfast?', even if he knew that was what had gotten him so agitated in the first place. "Get up!"

@Chu Wanning The following days that passed felt like a dream to Mo Ran - one that he didn't want to wake up from. He would get assigned to minor job requests every other day, but it didn't keep him far from his Shizun. Chu Wanning was so close, within arm's reach, and it must've fueled Mo Ran's innermost desire to be swept up and locked away with this man again. In his moments of clarity, Mo Ran would recite the promise that he'd made to Chu Wanning. He would respect his Shizun and treat him as the most precious person in his life. Beyond that, Mo Ran tried to rein in any uncouth thoughts about his Shizun's sturdy and lean body, elegant yet alluring all at once. He wanted to wrap his lips around Chu Wanning's neck and bite until deep, purplish marks formed in his wake. He could only fantasize the heat of the older's insides, untouched and unmarred by an old tyrant. Controlling himself around Chu Wanning became harder and harder, until it became an obstacle even to himself. Eventually, Mo Ran's mental was on the brink of collapse as he struggled to fight down those thoughts, and still combatted the other thoughts that ate up his conscience.

/"Mo Weiyu, how dare you think you'd have a second chance. You lost that long ago! You forced Chu Wanning to wed you and you tortured him until his life withered away before your very eyes! You think you can forget your past and be reborn? You could /never/ wash away your sins!"/ the voices in his mind sneered. Mo Ran shoved and shoved at them, but they remained unmoving.

The clashing in his mind took a toll on his physical being, and though Mo Ran wished he could just walk off his troubles, they had temporarily won and driven him into a frenzied, feverish state where he could get no sleep at night and sweat profusely even when he was doing nothing. As he jolted awake from yet another mental upbraid, his mind felt hazy while his entire being felt heavy. Was it day or night? How many hours had gone by? Mo Ran closed his eyes again - he'd rather sink into blackness than watch his world spin.

@Mo Ran For the next few days, Chu Wanning continued to appear in Mengpo Hall at a routine time so that Mo Ran would know when to expect him, even if it meant he had to try all the odd foods the cooks were always preparing. He didn't like it one one bit, but Mo Ran was so perceptive about what he loathed and what he could tolerate that it made mealtimes almost pleasant. In fact, Chu Wanning had grown so accustomed to it that when Mo Ran didn't appear for breakfast one morning, he was overcome with such emotion that he even disgusted himself. On his tray, he had two servings of everything he would normally have — two bowls of porridge, two steamed buns, four rice rolls, and even two smaller servings of savoury tofu pudding. Chu Wanning ate everything on his side of the table, and although he paced himself even slower than usual, Mo Ran was still nowhere to be seen by the time his bowls were emptied.

@Chu Wanning With the taste of savory tofu pudding long behind him, Mo Ran couldn't help but beam proudly at how much and how well his Shizun had eaten during dinner. Surely their conversation must've done something right, since Chu Wanning ate three whole stalks of bok choy, evident by the cores that Mo Ran chewed on while still smiling doggishly. His eyes lit up even further when Chu Wanning even went as far as to request his presence in the Red Lotus Pavilion. Maybe anyone else who was asked to clean an elder's space was going to view it as tedious and unfortunate, but not Mo Ran. He was delighted to hear his Shizun /need/ him, and give him that opportunity to be around him. Mo Ran was only terrified of one thing, and that was that his Shizun wouldn't want him anymore, and would ignore him as punishment. "No problem Shizun," he agreed, almost too eagerly as he swallowed half a chunk of unchewed beef tendon, "Let me just finish right up, and I'll get to it right away!" Since he had accomplished his goal of getting Chu Wanning to eat properly, Mo Ran had forgotten his excuse of why he needed the older to eat more anyways, and was ready to head off after he cleaning his bowls entirely in the next few minutes. "Shizun, let's get going, you and I."

@Mo Ran When did this turn into a scrutinization of whether Mo Ran was like a dog or not — the point was Chu Wanning was trying to teach him some manners so that he was less like an animal! And here Mo Ran was, trying to make himself as dog-like as possible. He watched as Mo Ran plucked the leaves off his box choy carefully, following their path from across the table. Chu Wanning ate the leafy greens without complaint, and he tried not to think too much about Mo Ran repeatedly filling his bowl each time Chu Wanning emptied it. It was simply boiled, leaving not much room for error when cooking it. "I've had enough," he said before Mo Ran could give him any more food. "When you're done your meal, I need you to organize the Red Lotus Pavilion for me." Whilst he waited for Mo Ran to finish, Chu Wanning poured himself tea. "It's getting messy again," he added as an afterthought, as though Mo Ran himself were personally responsible for the chaos within.

@Chu Wanning Of course Mo Ran's excuse to not eat any more had to be the most unreasonable one there was. Certainly there was going to be more tofu pudding if Chu Wanning wanted some, since that dish was mostly unpopular with the majority of the Sisheng Peak inhabitants, disciples and Elders alike. It was a dish that joined the menu lineup on occasion for the select few disciples hailing from the Jiangnan Province who might miss home. Mo Ran chose not to continue the topic though, and resigned to a moment of silence as he ate half of his bowl of stew. The burning passion between his legs was still there, but with a quick recitation of his cool-down mantra, Mo Ran could eventually return to normal. He just had to keep his heart thinking in a upright manner from here on out...

Mo Ran lifted his head at Chu Wanning's command, responding with an obedient "Yes Shizun," even before he heard the question that followed. "Oh," he chuckled, finding the question endearing. He was used to being called all variations of the derogatory slur for his lowly birth, but when his Shizun said it, Mo Ran almost barked in response! Of course, if Chu Wanning liked dogs, then Mo Ran would like to be more like a dog to please his good Shizun, his dearest Shizun. "Does Shizun think I look like one?" he asked, eyes twinkling from the lightness he felt between them now, "Dogs really like to eat meat...so maybe you're not wrong Shizun." Right, now was yet another perfect opportunity to continue his master plan. "Dog's don't really eat vegetables though," Mo Ran said, plucking off the single leaf off the bok choy stalk he'd chosen and carefully draping it over Chu Wanning's spoon. His Shizun hated vegetables with hard stems. He much prefered the soft, leafy part at the top. Mo Ran knew this, and so he was determined to keep the core of the bok choy in his own bowl, and with careful motions, peeled off each leaf around the edge to place in Chu Wanning's bowl. "Please help, Shizun."

@Mo Ran Chu Wanning watched with a satisfied air about him as Mo Ran choked down the tofu. He knew Mo Ran would not suddenly find it delicious since the last time he had it, but it was still gratifying to give Mo Ran a taste of his own medicine. "There is still more up at the front," Chu Wanning pointed out, though he let Mo Ran be for now so he could finish his own meal, which had been rapidly cooling while he tackled the piece of beef. It still sat, sad and neglected in his bowl, but seeing how much entertainment Mo Ran had brought Chu Wanning as he forced himself to eat the savoury tofu pudding, Chu Wanning would cooperate too. As much as he wanted to throw the beef in his bowl off Sisheng Peak, he put the entire piece into his mouth, chewing in as little bites as possible before swallowing. Mo Ran had picked out a perfectly sized-piece for him, he thought. It was small enough that Chu Wanning could eat, but big enough it wasn't going to get lost in Chu Wanning's bowl and hide under a piece of good, real food.

No, Mo Ran did not purposely pick this, Chu Wanning corrected himself, his gaze darting up to watch Mo Ran duck his head again to eat. He was overthinking again. It just happened to be that Mo Ran chose this for him... it was the most convenient piece. Mo Ran did not pick for him. Embarrassed that he could even think like this, Chu Wanning looked for something else to nitpick at to take the attention off him, as though all those thoughts hadn't just happened in the private recesses of his mind. "Lift your food to your mouth, don't bring your head down to your food," he chided, even if Mo Ran had barely lowered his head. "Are you a dog?"

@Chu Wanning Mo Ran couldn't understand how given Chu Wanning's natural sweet tooth and light taste buds, the older had somehow come to like savory tofu with seaweed and dried shrimp. Shrimp as a dried ingredient was quite pungent, objectively speaking. His Shizun must've expected Mo Ran's full cooperation, so there was little room to argue on this matter. Mo Ran could only think positively and see it as his Shizun being so generous as to share with him. Chu Wanning may be an expert on mechas and writing his own spells, but when it came to food, he was no expert on what could be considered 'good for you' or not, since his palate was so difficult to begin with and he never ate enough nutritional value on his own accord. Mo Ran picked up the spoon, eyeing Chu Wanning's stoic expression for any sign of leniency. "I'm gonna eat it Shizun..." he said, bringing the spoon closer, "I'm really going to do it...Shizun, it's happening-"

Chu Wanning didn't budge, so Mo Ran swallowed the mouthful of savory tofu and tried to force it down his throat as quickly as he could. "Mmm..." he mumbled, nodding his head as he tasted the silky tofu texture mixing with the salty shrimp and the crunchy seaweed. "There," Mo Ran said, reporting dutifully once he finished it. "Thank you for your concern Shizun, but you barely got enough for yourself. Shizun eat more, shizun eat more," Mo Ran said, retreating back to his beef stew after returning the spoon back to Chu Wanning's plate without much thought.

That was, until he saw Chu Wanning pick the spoon up again. Was the Yuheng Elder about to eat from the same spoon that he had just shared with his disciple? Mo Ran would be indirectly sharing a kiss with his Shizun if that were the case! His ears heated up again at the mere thought, and he scolded himself for letting his rationale go at such an innocent gesture. There wouldn't be any meaning behind it...except it made him long for the days he could freely hold Chu Wanning in his arms, his desire burning as he pressed their lips together forcefully and the breath out of Chu Wanning's body.

/"Mo Weiyu, you animal,"/ he scolded himself in his head, clearing his throat as he picked up another piece of bok choy, nibbling at it, /"He is your Shizun! Respect him! Never lay a finger on him like that again. You must cherish him and repay him for all that he has taught and given you when you were nothing but a mutt in the ditch!"/

@Mo Ran An abomination? The smile melted off Chu Wanning's face in an instant, whatever warmth his expression held evaporating without a trace. Did Chu Wanning ever express exactly what he thought of all the foods Mo Ran laid out in front of him. For nearly three meals a day every day, Chu Wanning endured all the bizarre meats, smells, and textures that Mo Ran wanted — no, /pleaded/ — him to eat, and Chu Wanning had eaten everything in the end, no matter the reservations he held in the beginning. And now, Mo Ran was going to turn his nose up to what Chu Wanning offered him and call it an 'abomination'?

Chu Wanning's expression frosted over. It was clear he was not amused by Mo Ran's comment, even if Mo Ran meant to get out of it by pursing his lips and pouting like a petulant child. "Eat it," Chu Wanning said, all while eating around the piece of meat in his bowl. It was time Mo Ran learned if he wanted his shizun to do anything at his behest, then a reciprocal action was required. Of course, while Chu Wanning was less eloquent in convincing Mo Ran to eat the savoury tofu pudding, he did stand on a leg higher than Mo Ran. "It's good for you. So don't call it an abomination before you try it."

@Chu Wanning Whenever Mo Ran fell into a rut at the expense of his own rationality and time spent with Chu Wanning, he would be encased in a stifling stupor, at a loss for words. He could only use his food as a distraction. Had his Shizun been well-versed in the ways of worldly pleasures, he would've noticed something amiss with the rigidity in Mo Ran's sitting position, as well as how each word that came out of his mouth was full of willpower and controlled to not burst into flames and engulf the iridescent being before him.

Chu Wanning's hand reached out, so suddenly that Mo Ran could neither anticipate it nor evade it. His ears heated up and the back of his neck began to sweat when he realized he had been so clumsy that the lofty and untouchable Chu Wanning had to step in to help him avoid making a mess. His Shizun was so kind. And all those years in his previous life, Mo Ran had not noticed this. He thought every touch from Chu Wanning were due reparations from the grief that Mo Ran had endured from losing the most important person in his life. He had misjudged his Shizun and took his awkward aloofness for a cold heart. "Ah- Thank you Shizun," he said, flinging his entire ponytail back so it wouldn't be in the way anymore.

Mo Ran looked up, mid-chew from his bowl when Chu Wanning had placed a spoon in his bowl. His Shizun, after so many years, never shared his own utensils with another, so naturally Mo Ran was completely shocked. "What's the meaning of this?" he asked his Shizun, seeing the little upward tug at the corner of his lips. Mo Ran remembered when he had dismissed his Xia Shidi's tastebuds as nasty before, and Chu Wanning had clearly said to sit with him, Mo Ran would have to eat this savory tofu pudding. Since they had not been served this dish in a long time, Mo Ran clearly never took that agreement to heart. "Shizun..." he sulked, picking up the spoon to eye the little pieces of dried shrimp, "Are you really going to do this to your disciple?" he asked, "Savory tofu pudding is..." Mo Ran was not very good with words, nor did he ever claim to be. But, there were moments when he tried to rephrase himself to sound eloquent, yet in that moment, all that he could think of was, "an abomination."

@Mo Ran At first, Mo Ran seemed insanely persistent. He stared, as though waiting for Chu Wanning to swallow before he could do his own, and the act of staring in itself only made Chu Wanning feel as though there were a thousand ants crawling up his legs, or maybe a fire from the pit of his stomach that scorched all rhyme and reason and told him to just put the whole piece into his mouth and appease to what Mo Ran wanted.

Luckily, Mo Ran gave up on the idea of watching Chu Wanning like a hawk after a simple bite from the latter to test the waters. Instead, while Mo Ran was looking away, Chu Wanning found an opportunity for himself to observe his disciple. When Mo Ran bowed his head to eat, Chu Wanning could only see his hair slipping down over his head and the front of his shoulders, smooth and dark as his name. Without much thought, Chu Wanning reached across the table to brush Mo Ran’s hair back before it dipped into the bowl of oily beef stew. A fond smile accompanied his actions, though when he sat back down it had nearly disappeared completely. Then, they continued eating — Mo Ran voraciously and Chu Wanning in steady though bird-like pecks.

It was until Chu Wanning was starting to feel bloated just from seeing the way Mo Ran eat that he realized what the younger man needed. Why, eating all that oily stew would only upset his stomach. Of course, there was a hint of an ulterior motive behind Chu Wanning’s caring excuse, but after all he had suffered at mealtimes for weeks, now, Mo Ran deserved this though and through. “That stew is not good for you,” Chu Wanning said plainly, no further explanation nor elaboration following up his bold claim. With that, Chu Wanning laid a generous spoonful of savoury tofu, topped with half his own bowl’s seaweed and dried shrimps /just/ for Mo Ran. It was easy to keep his triumphant smirk behind his cool exterior as he continued to eat through his own meal, slow as Mo Ran had asked of him.

@Chu Wanning And with that, Mo Ran had sealed the lid over the well, successfully coaxing his Shizun into eating with him. Chu Wanning picked at the piece of beef, reluctant written across his face without any room for misinterpretation. Mo Ran had an advantage though, which was that if he acted stupid and clueless enough, most people would fall for his act right away. He tried not to comment as his Shizun eat, only glancing up to make sure that Chu Wanning had indeed put the piece of meat into his mouth.

Now, his Shizun was a very orderly person when it came to personal conduct. He would never allow a strand of hair out of place or a fine thread on his robes to become loose. So, Mo Ran was even more captivated when he realized that Chu Wanning had /not/ put the entire piece of meat entire into his mouth, and indeed tried to nibble at it. As a result, his Shizun's lips were coated with a thin sheen of oil from the stew liquid, and once again it gave Mo Ran heart palpitations.

His Shizun's lips were never big to begin with, so Mo Ran had always been careful about which types of food he'd choose to put into the older's bowl. If it was too small, Chu Wanning would eye it dubiously before burying it under a mound of rice to make it as inconspicuous as possible, often masking its many flavors. If it was too big, Chu Wanning would refuse to eat it entirely. Mo Ran stared, chopsticks and bowl frozen against his fingers as he watched Chu Wanning's thin lips close around the meat and chew.

/"Cherish him. Honor him. Respect him."/ The words repeated themselves in Mo Ran's head many times, but as Chu Wanning's adam's apple bobbed to accept the food inside of him, all Mo Ran could feel was the fire in his loins, ignited even though he had just been hard at work an hour ago, forcing him to hunch over instead of sitting tall and loftily in front of his Shizun. "Uhm," he rasped, "Well, Shizun is the best. You always let your disciples have the best." Mo Ran said, deciding to then shut himself up by eating a mouthful of rice. Better to extinguish the fire in his chest before he try to get Chu Wanning to eat more of the food. Otherwise, who could tell when he might accidentally change the word 'eat this' to 'eat me' and 'let me serve you more' to 'kiss you more'. All was too dangerous when his fixation narrowed in on some part of Chu Wanning's peerless charm.

@Mo Ran First meal of the day? Chu Wanning sat up even straighter, the muscles in his back tensed. “Why are you only eating your first meal now?” he demanded, a frown marring his typically neutral features. “What have you been doing all day that you couldn’t have gone to eat first?” To the disciples eating near them, with the tone Chu Wanning was speaking in, it sounded as though he was criticizing Mo Ran for taking too long to complete his tasks, and they turned their faces away to snicker. The truth could not be farther, though. Chu Wanning was worried, no matter how much he hoped it didn’t show on his face. Sect Leader Xue probably sent this Mo Zongshi out on more difficult errands and missions now that Mo Ran had made a name for himself. How was he supposed to do all of those things on an empty stomach? Chu Wanning needed to have a word with Xue Zhengyong.

Slowly, after he had gathered some courage, Chu Wanning’s gaze met with the beef brisket again. A million different words to describe the offending morsel ran through his mind, and ‘delicious’ was not even close to making it onto the list. He looked back up at Mo Ran, who pouted like a child who had been denied sweets. “Stop looking at me like that,” Chu Wanning snapped, seized with an emotion he was not sure he had a name for. “I’m going to eat it.” Swallowing the nausea that surfaced when he picked up the piece of brisket, Chu Wanning almost threw it right out of the dining hall after he gave it a small whiff.

He contemplated the piece of meat he held between the ends of his chopsticks for a long while before he brought it close to his lips, his eyes boring a hole into the wooden table with how hard he was trying to avoid looking at Mo Ran or the bowl of stew. Taking a small nibble at the corner of the beef, Chu Wanning set down the rest of it again. While Mo Ran was truthful in that it was not spicy, Chu Wanning didn’t find it light or savoury either, nor did he find it particularly tender. The texture of the brisket bothered him immensely, and he ended up swallowing before it could linger over his tongue for too long, holding back a grimace the entire time. Meanwhile, Mo Ran ate it like it was the meat of the Heavenly Oxen itself. “Since you like it so much, you should have all of it,” Chu Wanning said, this time more for himself than Mo Ran. “Shizun will be fine with just this.”

@Chu Wanning Mo Ran knew Chu Wanning's skin was thin, but his Shizun was also rather gullible when it came to anything unrelated to cultivation or the Worldly Arts. He was hoping that his little gesture would be enough to coax his Shizun into eating today, but Chu Wanning was evidently put off by the redness in the meat. Unaware of the onlookers behind them, Mo Ran unabashedly picked up the piece of meat that was placed back in his bowl, examining it to see if it was perhaps too lean or too fatty for Chu Wanning's very specific tastebuds. "This is the perfect amount of lean to fat ratio that you like Shizun," Mo Ran said, "The sauce is light and savory. It's quite similar to the sauce of your favorite stewed crab meatballs."

Mo Ran returned the piece of meat to his Shizun's plate, and he smiled radiantly, hoping to move Chu Wanning's very compassionate and easily swayed heart to at least giving it a try. How was he supposed to convince his Shizun to eat if lying about the dish's origin wasn't going to work? Well, clearly Mo Ran would have to try another tactic. When he saw the glare on Chu Wanning's face, Mo Ran lowered his head and feigned a pout, "Shizun, this is your disciple's first meal of the day...with all that's on your plate, you'll be done in the blink of an eye, and you'll leave me here to eat all by myself. How lonely that'll feel, Shizun...won't you be kind enough to just eat a little more and stall for some time?"