Text 06 Spabe 2.0

@♪ Xiao Zhan Yibo was going to do his best to remain optimistic about the situation, so he wiped his tears away and adopted a smile as he picked up the chicken. He really wasn't trying to be moody, but Zhan was right - the first bite of chicken was all sorts of off. It was stale from the skin and dry to the actual meat. "Hm..." he mumbled, "This tastes old. Like...overnight...or over a few nights." He frowned as he looked over at Zhan's piece, "What do we do? Should we say something?"

@♪ Wang Yibo "That's right," Zhan agreed, letting Yibo sit up properly and handing him a thin piece of tissue paper from the dispenser on the table. "We haven't eaten together in a while. Blow your nose." While Yibo wiped his face, Zhan filled their water cups and picked out the biggest, juiciest piece of chicken he could see in the basket and laid it over Yibo's plate. "Eat up. You've gotten skinnier since I last saw you." Saying this only worried Zhan again — how was he supposed to keep Yibo fed on the colony's meagre salary? Zhan picked out a smaller piece for himself. Yibo was still growing, so he would need to eat more. After one bite, he drew back and wrinkled his nose. "Does this taste different to you?"

@♪ Xiao Zhan "Right..." Yibo murmured, "I'm happy," he said, though there was a part of him that didn't dare to be /too/ happy just yet. He wanted to be sure beyond all doubt that the future he had been looking forward to with Zhan was really going to come true. Those five years of waiting really did make him insecure in a moment like this, and it was quite ridiculous really. Yibo closed his eyes again when Zhan kissed him, relaxing as his boyfriend's scent overpowered the fried chicken smell around them. "I'll be fine. I was waiting for you to come home, so tonight let's go home together." Yibo pulled away when the waiter brought their fried chicken over and he rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, "Let's eat first," he said, trying to lighten up the mood, "We haven't had a meal together in a long time..."

@♪ Wang Yibo Zhan closed his eyes. He wished Yibo wouldn't ask him that question, because the truth was Zhan felt bitter and chained to this desolate colony while Yibo got to travel and race all over, doing what /he/ liked. In the interest of keeping the peace, he shook his head, the hand that was stroking Yibo's back never faltering. "No. I couldn't have done that forever." Pressing a kiss against Yibo's forehead, Zhan continued, wanting to believe his own words also, "I would rather be here with you. Now I'm back. Aren't you happy? Why are you still thinking about that?"

@♪ Xiao Zhan Though there was probably every reason for distrust between them recently, the thought that Zhan might've done something unfaithful during his absence didn't once cross Yibo's mind. In fact, Yibo had been more concerned that Zhan had run off to do something dangerous that would involve risking his life. To think that it had all been because the older was trying to find a job...Yibo felt the relief wash over him. He relaxed against Zhan's body and closed his eyes, inhaling his boyfriend's scent. "As long as you were safe..." he murmured. Zhan's stroking his back was rather effective, and Yibo felt calmed when they had addressed his greatest concern. "You don't have to rush," Yibo said, "I know you'll find something." Yibo looked up at Zhan, trying to read the expression on Zhan's face, "Was it wrong of me...to make you sell your ship?" It was scary to think that Zhan would actually harbor grudges against him, but Yibo had to ask now, lest the question sit in the back of his mind forever.

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@♪ Wang Yibo Immediately, Zhan rose from his seat, shuffling around the table to sit with Yibo. He gathered the younger into his arms, holding Yibo's head against the top of his shoulder. "I'm sorry," Zhan mumbled, finally finding the courage to do something about the uncomfortable lump in his chest. "I shouldn't have gotten angry. I was just upset... I should have just gone home. But I promise you, I didn't do anything unfaithful to you." Ignoring a curious glance from an older patron at their adjacent table, Zhan ran his hand up and down Yibo's back, slow and steady. "I was just looking for work most of the time, I swear."

@♪ Xiao Zhan Yibo could sense how hard Zhan was trying to make amends between them, and he didn't want to be a killjoy. He nodded in agreement, trying to just forget the heartache so he could go back to bantering with Zhan as he had been while waiting all those years for his boyfriend to return to him. Yibo glanced up at Zhan when he was beckoned by the older and felt a surge of hollowness in his chest. He really missed Zhan, and he just wanted to be held and told everything would be okay between them. "Gege," he finally said after a short while, shaking himself loose from Zhan's grasp, "Come sit next to me. I want to hug you."

@♪ Wang Yibo Yibo's hand was still cold, despite that they had been sitting inside for a few minutes now. Zhan placed their order first before he brought Yibo's hand to his lips, blowing warm breaths over Yibo's knuckles to warm his joints. "It's okay... I still want to see you. Why won't you look at me?" With his free hand, Zhan tucked his fingers beneath Yibo's chin, tilting his face back toward Zhan. Yibo's face was indeed swollen, definitely from crying, as evidenced by his teary eyes. Zhan held back a sigh. It was his fault, and he didn't know how to fix it. "Mm... How about Gege bring you to your favourite cafe after dinner? You really like the fruit teas there."

@♪ Xiao Zhan Zhan was the first to initiate the contact between them, and it was honestly the thing that eased Yibo's mind the slightest bit. If he had to be the one reaching out, he probably wouldn't have done it, in fear of being rejected. His face was turned away so that Zhan could only see his profile, and Yibo shook his head, "I just...don't feel like myself right now," Yibo said, pressing his other hand to his face. "My face is swollen and...I didn't sleep very well." What else was he supposed to say other than blame it on his physical appearance? Yibo didn't want to stir up any more trouble between them either. He let Zhan hold his hand, staying in place limply, "I'll be fine..."

@♪ Wang Yibo When Yibo covered his face, Zhan panicked. Was Yibo still angry Zhan didn't come straight home that day? Zhan reached out, pulling at Yibo's wrist and holding his hand over the table. He tried to get a glimpse of Yibo's expression, but the younger was still turned away. Zhan's heart ached, and he regretted acting out, but what's done was done. He just wanted to sweep it under the rug and forget about it. "What's the matter?" Zhan asked, hoping it was something else, anything else but his fault that Yibo was upset. "Did something happen?"

@♪ Xiao Zhan Just as Zhan had been through his text messages, he wasn't telling Yibo any specific details. It didn't ease the heavy feeling in Yibo's chest in the slightest, but there wasn't much he could do about it unless he wanted to make a scene in public and risk having his boyfriend walk out on him permanently. They sat down at the table near the back corner of the restaurant, and Yibo glanced through the menu. "The original is fine," he said, looking down the menu distractedly. He didn't have much of an appetite, which was rare for him. After Zhan decided on what he wanted, Yibo set the menu down and turned his head out the glass window, seeing his puffy eyes and haggard expression. He covered his face with his hands and sighed, hating that this was the sight Zhan came back to after 5 years of separation with so little reunions throughout the years.

@♪ Wang Yibo At least individual buildings and restaurants still had heating, though Zhan wasn't sure how long they would be able to hold up against the cold outside. With the heat twenty-four hours a day, everyone's heating bills were going up, and soon it would be impossible to afford at all. It was worse now that Zhan left his lucrative 'career' behind, and he worried about how he was going to keep the two of them afloat on a meager salary in the colony. He was lost in his thoughts until Yibo spoke again. It took a moment for him to realize Yibo was asking about where he'd been the past two days, in the colony but avoiding Yibo. "Around," he answered vaguely. "What flavour do you want your chicken this time?"

@♪ Xiao Zhan They walked on the streets like the couples that Yibo had always envied. Zhan was holding his hand and he was standing close to his boyfriend, huddling in for warmth. Zhan walked on the outerside of the street, shielding him from the harsh night winds. They probably looked like any other normal couple on the streets too, if it weren't for the way they were clearly avoiding the problem between them. "It's three blocks to the East," he told Zhan as they made their way through the dark streets, though the last thing on Yibo's mind was food. "Where did you go?" he asked Zhan, just as they approached the restaurant. It was the one question that sat on his mind heavier than the other thoughts, and he couldn't bear to not know. The restaurant, compared to the streets, were more brightly lit, so they finally couldn't hide the expression on their faces anymore.

@♪ Wang Yibo "Where do you want to eat?" Zhan asked in return, picking up Yibo's jacket off the hook and throwing it around Yibo's shoulders, helping him slide into the sleeves, before he put on his own. The temperature regulator somehow managed to stay broken after over half a year, and it was only ever getting colder. Zhan held Yibo's hand when they made their way out into the street. It was already dark out, too, which didn't help the temperature. Zhan wrapped his hand around Yibo's to shield it from the chill in the air. He knew he was ignoring their problems, but frankly, Zhan was too tired to deal with them. If he could just live a happy and normal life with Yibo from now on, he would be fine with things being like this. "Where's that place you like again? The one the fried chicken."

@♪ Xiao Zhan Yibo reemerged a few minutes later, changed into a casual pair of jeans while still wearing Zhan's sweater. Since Zhan didn't want to talk about their argument from when he returned, Yibo didn't bring it up either. Maybe it was better to be like Jian Guo and sweep everything under the rug for a while. They could clean up the mess when the right timing came. "She's doing okay. She eats and sleeps well," he said, taking his keys and phone before starting to put his shoes on. "Where are we going for dinner?" Yibo asked. Originally he had bought enough ingredients to cook at home for Zhan, but with the days having passed, he had already thrown out the food he attempted to cook when Zhan didn't come back to eat it on the first night.

@♪ Wang Yibo Zhan let Yibo retreat to freshen up, choosing to pick a shirt from his bag and change in the living room instead. While he was changing, he heard a purr from beneath the couch - Jian Guo. Zhan bent to check. She had made a home for herself under the couch, filled with trinkets and trash she had collected from Yibo over the few months she had been here. Zhan pulled her out to check on her, ignoring her squawk of complaint. “And how’s Jian Guo doing?” He asked Yibo when the younger returned from the bedroom.

@♪ Xiao Zhan Yibo didn't know what he could say to Zhan. All the ugly words, all the mean words, and all the regretful words had already been thrown out there, so it really wasn't up to him to decide where they should take this conversation of theirs. Zhan didn't seem to want to focus on that though, and though the kisses were a small comfort, the older wanted to get them outside. Yibo was reluctant to let go, afraid that their moment of connectedness would disintegrate the moment Zhan was released from his arms. He sniffled a few more times, then with full of unwillingness, let go of Zhan. "I need to...change," he said, clearing his throat after hearing his own horridly hoarse voice. With his shoulders slumped, he turned and went into the bedroom first, only turning to check once that Zhan didn't disappear on him.

@♪ Wang Yibo Zhan almost fell from the force of Yibo running into him. He closed his arms around the younger, hugging him tight. Thankfully, Yibo still liked him, still wanted him. Stroking Yibo's head, Zhan pressed a kiss against his temple before peeling his boyfriend off him. He pretended not to see the bags under Yibo's red-rimmed eyes. Did he do that to Yibo? It didn't make sense. Yibo didn't seem one bit remorseful of what he had done and said. "Why aren't you changed yet? I told you we're going out to dinner. Go wash your face and get ready. I'm going to unpack and change too."

@♪ Xiao Zhan What were supposed to be the most enthralling and exciting days of Yibo's life turned out to be a nightmare where he became as close to an invalid as he'd ever be. Since Zhan had not returned for two nights since he landed back in their colony, Yibo had subsequently skipped two days of practice at the track. He had been wracked with nightmares of losing his lover every time he closed his eyes, and then anxiety struck when Zhan didn't show up by his side in the morning. And as terrified as he was of this reality, the courage to message Zhan never came until late at night, where he'd hoped the older would have softened his resolve and returned by now.

Yibo wasn't expecting much when Zhan said he'd be coming home that night. Perhaps he was just too scared of letting his hopes rise in the event that they came crashing down. When the door clicked open though, Yibo didn't even believe his ears. Only as he heard the door unlocking noise did he finally realize that Zhan had finally come home. This was not the image he wanted his boyfriend to see when he returned, but the reality was that Yibo was puffy-eyed and wore his baggy sweats and Zhan's sweater. His voice was hoarse from not speaking with anyone for two days, and he let out a choked sob as his boyfriend opened his arms. Yibo had so much to say, but those words didn't seem important anymore. He just had to know that the Zhan in front of him was real. So, he dashed off the couch and slammed into Zhan's embrace, wrapping his arms around Zhan's waist tightly.

@♪ Wang Yibo As hurt as Zhan was, he felt silly. He promised himself that he would be more patient with Yibo, and now he had probably scared Yibo again. After gathering his thoughts for a few days, Zhan decided to just let it go. He was home for good, finally, and he didn't want to spoil it any more than he already did. He made his way back to their apartment that evening, as he promised, and his boyfriend was there as well, just as Yibo had promised. He was sitting in the living room when Zhan entered the flat. He dropped his bag where he stood, opening his arms wordlessly to invite Yibo into them.



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@♪ Xiao Zhan Yibo was embraced by Zhan's warmth and scent. It was so unfair that he only got to experience this once in a blue moon. Actually, blue moons occurred more frequently that Zhan's visits back home, so that was even more disheartening. They didn't need to exchange any words as they stood at the hotel entrance, simply gripping even tighter when the other one seemed to slip just a bit. Zhan had to break it off first, and Yibo pouted as the older kissed him once more. "Okay...I'll wait for you," Yibo said, staying rooted in place even when Zhan wanted him to go in first. He backed into the hotel, but watched all the way until Zhan's figure disappeared into the shadows of the night before he finally retreated back into his lonely room, holding onto the dear promise and expectation of seeing his boyfriend soon once again.

@♪ Wang Yibo Zhan obliged, and their 'just a bit longer' turned into ten minutes of holding Yibo in silence. Zhan only let go when he shivered from the chill — the regulator on this colony was clearly not faring much better than the one on theirs. "I should go," Zhan whispered, pulling away from the younger. "I will see you again soon, okay? I promise." Once he sealed the promise with another gentle kiss, he nudged Yibo in the direction of the hotel doors. "Go in, and get home safe. I'll see you."

@♪ Xiao Zhan Time passed by so quickly, and that was a notion that Yibo rarely ever had. When Zhan was with him, he didn't feel like there was an excess of time that he had to pass with nothing to do. That was why racing in his speed pod had always been so enticing - it made things go by faster. Yibo didn't want Zhan to leave, but judging from his boyfriend's slowed steps and hanging outside of the hotel door, he already knew what was coming. "Oh..." he mumbled, still holding onto Zhan's hand so they wouldn't physically have to part until the last possible second. Receiving Zhan's kiss to the lips felt like little electrical jolts making his skin tingle. Yibo hadn't been kissed in so long, so when Zhan finally broke the news, Yibo circled his arms around the older and hugged him tightly, burying his face into Zhan's chest, "I know...but I'm gonna miss you," he muttered in a small voice, "Just a bit longer..."

@♪ Wang Yibo As reluctant as Zhan was to go, he walked Yibo back to his hotel after they tried a strange fizzy drink on the street after their dinner. Stopping outside of the hotel, Zhan held Yibo's hand tightly. If he followed Yibo in, he wouldn't be leaving that night. His heart wanted Yibo to stay, no matter what his mind argued the logic was. "You'll let me know when your next race is?" Zhan asked, rubbing his thumb over the back of Yibo's hand. "If it's before I come home... I'll come to watch you again." Pulling Yibo close by his hands, Zhan pressed a soft kiss against Yibo's lips. He was glad it was dark, so that the younger couldn't tell how bad Zhan wanted to stay. "But I can't stay tonight."

@♪ Xiao Zhan "Sounds good," Yibo agreed. After a long race that involved a small, stuffy space that made him sweat from head to toe in his thick uniform, nothing sounded better than fried food. Yibo wanted a fizzy pop to wash it down too. Since this was an amateur race and not the pro league yet, Yibo wasn't surprised that the fans had dispersed not long after the race ended. Not everyone here was qualified to be a celebrity, hence they weren't receiving the attention of one until they proved themselves. Since it had worked earlier, Yibo slipped his hand into Zhan's when he emerged from the changing room, letting the older lead the way. The meal itself was yummy, but what felt more special to Yibo was having Zhan right besides him, eating and chatting with him like they were any normal couple on the streets. They shared their food and chatted casually, letting their bygones be bygones. By the end of his meal, Yibo could almost say that he was having the best day of his life in a long time. If only Zhan didn't have to leave so soon.

@♪ Wang Yibo "How long will you stay?"

"Not long," Zhan said, guilty that he would have to leave Yibo in a few short hours time. He was afraid that the more he did this, the more likely Yibo would realize again that he could do better. "Where do you want to go? We'll eat your favourite. Hm... fried chicken?" He waited for Yibo to take a quick shower and get changed, first, so that by the time they were out onto the streets most of the audience had dispersed in different directions. They found a joint that did both fried chicken for Yibo and grilled meat for Zhan, which he often craved back on their home colony. He let Yibo talk about his races and his days at the track, not wanting to bring into his work into the conversation — Zhan was just happy that Yibo was still happy around him.

@♪ Xiao Zhan Hearing Zhan praise his achievements, Yibo didn't feel as bad for getting fourth place. "You're right, it's only my first," he said, accepting the flowers from Zhan and hugging them to his chest. He grinned, wholeheartedly, for the first time since he'd gone to the doctor's clinic, and felt a sense of relief wash over him. "I didn't know you'd come in-person," Yibo muttered, "How long will you stay?" Turning over to his teammates, Yibo waved at them, though he then signaled that he'd be leaving with Zhan first. "Where are we going?" he asked, taking Zhan's hand in his own. It felt unusual to be out in public with his boyfriend, since everyone always thought Yibo to be the lone wolf of the pack. Explaining to them that Zhan was out for work was a whole challenge on its own, but Yibo felt a sense of pride as he strode through the crowds in his uniform, his boyfriend right by his side.

@♪ Wang Yibo Holding the flowers out of the way, Zhan returned Yibo's hug with his free arm. "I told you I'd watch," he said, pressing a light, almost wary kiss over Yibo's forehead before he pulled away to present his small gift to the younger. They looked quite sad, actually, in comparison to the other bouquets that the other racers were receiving. Zhan had already shopped around for the best he could afford, which clearly wasn't much. He handed them to Yibo while saying, to distract him, "Fourth is pretty good for your first race, isn't it? Congratulations." Yibo's teammates were milling around, wanting to celebrate and include Yibo in their celebration, but Zhan stood his ground. He'd just take these few moments he had with Yibo, before his boyfriend had to go back to them again. "Can I take you out for a celebratory dinner?"

@♪ Xiao Zhan Yibo's life had been nothing short of a rollercoaster for the past two months. After losing what he thought was his sole connection to Zhan, he had gained a boost in his career, getting the opportunity to race. Using his practices to take his mind off of his boyfriend's distance from him, Yibo trained as hard as he could. He couldn't believe that in a few short weeks, the coach thought him ready to begin racing in the amateur league. If he performed well...then the following seasons would only hold even greater promise for him.

Though Zhan did promise he'd watch, Yibo had too much on his mind to prepare for than to hound on his boyfriend for following through on his words. As the big day finally approached, Yibo wore his team uniform and appeared on the official racing track for the first time in his many years of waiting and dreaming. He entered his speed pod and let the glass top close over him while the audience cheered on the new round of racers. Yibo's clammy hands grasped the steering wheel as he waited at the starting line. The red light of a camera recording him from above vaguely reminded him that Zhan might actually be watching him. If he was...then Yibo wanted to do his best. No, he /had/ to do his best.

His best only ended up winning him fourth place, one place short of the top three. Disappointing as the results were, at least Yibo had successfully completed his first race. It was a good start, but now he was only craving more. The speed left him buzzing, and the encouragement from his coach at the end was enough to get him raring to try again at the next competition. As they were exiting the stadium back to the changing rooms, a sudden tall figure approached Yibo from the oncoming direction, and it took Yibo only a brief moment to realize the situation.

"You're here!?" he exclaimed, dashing past his manager up to Zhan's face. He didn't extend his arms just yet, in case they weren't at that point yet, but on Yibo's sweaty face was actually a delighted grin. "Ge...does that mean...you were out in the stadium? Watching me?" His eyes flickered downwards, noticing the flowers in Zhan's hands, and that gave Yibo the answer he needed. Zhan listened. Zhan cared. Without caring about others or the tension they had before, he threw his arms around Zhan, hugging his lover tightly. "Thank you-"