✵ terrace | 'sirius'

@✵ park nayeon〘ʙᴇʟʟᴀ〙ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ The unexpected kiss from her rendered him speechless as this time it was his turn to stare at her with wide eyes, although when she admitted that she had been wanting to kiss him ever since the basketball game Kyungho couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle. That game was definitely a game changer for the both of them and now he had to tell her the truth about it.

“I have something to confess.” He started “The reporter I invited… I’ve known her for quite a while. She was one of my childhood friends and she knew about my one-sided love for you. That's why she told me to invite you to the game at the same time as she did her interview with me.” A sheepish smile appeared on his face “She wanted to see what kind of person you are. Not as Bella of Pandora. But as Park Nayeon. And to see if I was just wasting my time liking someone like you. I guess now I know the reason behind the smirk she gave me before she went home.”

As Nayeon gave her permission to kiss her whenever he wanted to, Kyungho’s face turned bright red. It was something he had been wanting to hear from her. Clearing his throat, he quickly looks around before pulling her with him to a more secluded area and then pins her against the wall. His eyes filled with love and adoration he had for her. “Well… since you gave me your permission, I’d like to claim one right now.” And with that, Kyungho closed the distance between their lips, gliding his pair against her, mapping the shape of her plumper one with his own. The kiss lasted longer than their earlier kiss before Kyungho pulled away, but not before giving her lower tier a little nibble. A playful grin on his face as he stared at her. “Okay, shall we go back now~? Before your Pandora members send a SAR team to find you.”

@✵ choi kyungho〘ᴋ〙ˣ.ᵈᵉᵐⁱᵒⁿ Nayeon felt like she could finally and truly breathe for the first time in months. The weight of her feelings and decisions had left her feeling stressed and with a tightness in her chest that made it hard to function. It tightened more the longer they stood there in silence. Did she cross a line with the kiss? Did she make a mistake again?

The sigh of relief that left her was involuntary as she was pulled into his arms. Tears began to form in her eyes, though she did her best to will them not to fall. Her heart beat so fast in her chest so was positive that he could both feel it and hear it. Her arms slowly came up to wrap around his larger body as best as she could.

His whisper sent shivers down her spine, though she did her best to control herself. Now wasn’t the time to be so affected by him. A small laugh left Nayeon’s lips, both from his words and her thoughts. “I promise. I won’t run away, not again. I don’t have many regrets in my life but that? That was truly something I regretted even as I was doing it. I was just so scared. But I promise. I promise to talk to you about what’s on my mind, no matter how scared I am.”

As he pulled away, she gave him a genuine smile, only for her eyes to widen in surprise at the kiss. Before she could react, he had already pulled away, leaving her stunned and blinking. The only thing that sprung her into action was the word hate. Nayeon quickly pulled him back towards her, crashing her lips against his for a moment before pulling away. “You dummy. We’ve already established I could never hate you.”

A blush dusted her cheeks as she spoke softly, a soft chuckle falling from her. “Is now when I admit I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the basketball game?” Immediately after speaking, she groaned and hid her face against his chest as she wrapped her arms around him once more. She knew they’d have to leave soon before people got suspicious but she selfishly wanted to stay for just a bit longer

“If it helps…I give you permission in advance. To…to kiss me….whenever you feel like it.” Nayeon wasn’t sure why she felt so nervous saying it, it was just a kiss, but Kyungho wasn’t just anyone. He was right, they don’t know what the future holds, but she knew she could handle whatever comes their way as long as they’re together. “Come on, we should……probably go…before people get suspicious or worried.”

@✵ park nayeon〘ʙᴇʟʟᴀ〙ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ Choi Kyungho was stunned.

He did not expect her to do something like that as his face turned red at the unexpected turn of events. Never once did he think that Park Nayeon would be the first one who initiated that kind of skinship, even though it was just a light kiss on his hand, it was enough to make his brain short-circuited.

As the buff man stood there, frozen because of her action, his ears perked up when she said she wanted to be his wife. And again, for the nth time in the afternoon, she rendered him speechless. His eyes were wide open as he stared at her, trying to see if she was joking but all he saw was her sincerity that made his heart skip a beat the more he looked at her.

Wife. That sounds very nice. To be wed to the love of his life.

Kyungho’s anger slowly simmered down, the more he could see how serious Nayeon was right now. He knew that it wasn’t easy for her to come clean like this and he actually felt glad that he gave her the chance to speak. A fling. Kyungho never wanted to make her his fling; for what he felt for her was stronger and deeper than just a mere admiration. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want her to be his wife, but would he be willing to risk his heart again this time?

The answer is something that he already knows.

Finally taking a step forward, Kyungho pulled the petite woman towards him and engulfed her in his tight, warm embrace despite being under the summer sun. He couldn’t stay mad at her, not when she finally put her heart on her sleeve like this. He cherished the way she felt so perfect in his arms, fearing that all of this was just a dream and they were back in the square when he woke up. K leaned down to nuzzle Nayeon’s neck, inhaling her scent that he missed dearly. Finally, no longer he felt the need to hold his desire back, the arms around her petite waist just tightened.

“...If that is what you wish for, then, I am yours, Nay.” He whispered softly beside her ear, making sure that only she could hear. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that. Just know that now I have you, I will never let you go so easily without a fight. I easily get jealous too… If that’s okay with you having such a boyfriend. I don’t know what the future shall bring for the both of us, but promise me, you will never run away again, okay? Talk to me if you have any problems. I can’t read your mind… so if we ever encounter any problems in our relationship, we have to sit down and talk. Deal?” He chuckled as he slightly pulled away from the hug.

Which was a big mistake.

As now his eyes landed on her lips and oh how much he longed to have it against his own. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he did think about how it would feel to kiss her, but never once did he make a move in fear that she would hate him for it. But now, they are lovers, right? So it would be fine for him to kiss her, right? And without him knowing, his head was already closing in and soon he felt her soft pair of lips upon his. Kyungho blinked a few times before quickly pulling away, face completely red from embarrassment. It was so not like him to lose control like that. “I-I’m sorry! I uh… I should’ve asked for your consent first… Oh God… I… I didn’t know what was coming over me… I’m so sorry, Nayeon. Please don’t hate me…”

@✵ choi kyungho〘ᴋ〙ˣ.ᵈᵉᵐⁱᵒⁿ This was new territory for Nayeon, one that she still wasn’t fully sure she was ready for. But she couldn’t go back, /wouldn’t/ go back. Not when doing so would risk losing one of the most precious people in her life. She was used to keeping things to herself, unable to trust people enough to be herself fully. Even her members barely got to see that. But Kyungho has proven time and time again just how reliable he was and how much she /could/ trust him.

So why did it take her so long to see things the way she was seeing them? Perhaps her fear had run deeper than she originally thought. Not that that was an excuse, nothing truly excused her behavior in England. She never should have run away, she knew that even when she was doing it, she still did it. And in the process, she hurt one of the people she /never/ wanted to hurt.

It had always scared her how easily he seemed to be able to pick up on her inner workings. She’ll admit she purposely made it difficult for him sometimes, and he surprised her each time. He never gave up, just being there, even when he had every right to walk away. So his words, despite their sting, were understandable. If she was being honest, /she/ probably would have walked away and given up if she were in his shoes.

Nayeon stayed silent as he spoke, soaking in his words and giving them both time for her to truly assess them, along with her feelings. But she knew her decision was made even before he spoke. She knew…that if he had asked her to marry him she would. But perhaps that was out of the picture now, and it was her fault. Nevertheless, she shook her head softly.

“You were always more than a friend to me Kyun…it just took me too long to accept exactly what you were to me. But I promise you, I won’t back out. No matter what comes our way, I’ll stay by your side, if you let me, and get through it together. I love you too much to be just friends.”

She brought his hand to her lips, pressing a light kiss to his hand before stepping closer to him, further alleviating the space between them. Looking up at him, she hoped her eyes showed just how much she loved him, her heart was finally out in the open for him and him only. “I love my family. I love my members and my friends. And I love you, both the same and differently. I don’t look at them like they hold the stars in their eyes. I don’t think of them in ways that…” She trailed off with a small blush as she looked away for a moment, clearing before continuing.

“I want to be your girlfriend Kyun. And maybe even one day your wife. I know we have a long way to go before that, and that’s my fault. But I say it anyway to show you that I’m not looking for this to be a momentary thing. I’m not looking for a fling. I’m in this for the long run. Or at least…for as long as you’ll have me.”

@✵ park nayeon〘ʙᴇʟʟᴀ〙ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ Hearing her talk like this was a totally new experience for him. Kyungho was so used to her being closed off, never saying what she really felt, and he had to work on reading subtle hints from her. Although he had to say, it was…liberating, to finally see and hear everything from her own lips. But that didn’t mean all of his pain just went simply like that.

Even when he listened to all her explanations and excuses, Kyungho still didn’t find the will in his heart to just forgive her like that. If she really meant everything she said… he needed to see how serious Park Nayeon was right now with her words and feelings.

He couldn’t risk everything just because of one fleeting feeling.

Kyungho looked down to their hands as she held his own, light yet somewhat firm. Then it dawned upon him. He was not the only one who is risking everything, she was too, more than he had to right now. If all what Nayeon said was true, she wanted to learn together with him, to explore the new world, new stage of their relationship after his unrecruited love for quite a long time.

She did say she wanted him too, didn’t see?

To be honest, the tall guy didn’t know what to say or do. His head was in a mess. While he did hope for some kind of apology coming from her, he never ever imagined that it would also be accompanied by her confession of her true feelings. One part of him wanted nothing but just to pull her into a tight hug, to show her that he, also, was still in love with her. But another part of him wanted to be crueler. He wanted to see her determination and seriousness in getting together with him.

After a few moments of silence on his end, Kyungho finally lifted his head. Already making his mind about his action. “To be honest with you, I was ready to give up on you. That’s why this time, show me how you meant every word you said, Nayeon. Show me so I would never give up on you. Hold tight on me so I wouldn’t look anywhere else but you, like I did these past four years.” The pained expression on his face slowly easing away, though if one looked closely, they could see the guilt he felt for making her go through all of that, but he needed that reassurance.

To see that his decision to stay with her was the correct one and not just him wasting his time protecting and loving someone else’s fate.

“I want you to know that even though I said I was ready to give up on you, my feelings still remain unchanging, even after the stunt you pulled. I am still in love with you, Park Nayeon. Even though I thought I hated you… Whenever I listened to your singing voice, my heart skipped a beat for you.” He paused a bit before continuing “But even so, I need reassurance from you. That you are willing to prove to me how you meant your love. That it was not just like a love to a colleague, nor a love for a friend. But more than that. Something similar to what I feel for you.”

“If you don’t accept it, it’s fine. We can stay as friends if that’s what you want. You know I could never push you into something that you don’t want to do. I return the choice back to you, Nayeon. Will you reassure me with your way? Or back out? Since I won’t give you any hints or anything about what you should do. You should do it on your own. Then maybe… we can walk together, learning everything about each other together along the way.” He tightened his hold on her hand “Either way, you shall have me in your life for as long as you want. I can be your cornerstone, I can be someone you can lean on, someone who will always support you, protect you and be the shoulders you can cry on. Your boyfriend or just as your good friend.”

@✵ choi kyungho〘ᴋ〙ˣ.ᵈᵉᵐⁱᵒⁿ Hearing her name fall from his lips was both heartwrenching and relieving. It did nothing to ease the guilt, however. Nayeon chewed on her bottom lip as he spoke, for he made good points. She /did/ think about how he felt, but often too late, not as a part of her decision-making process. It was selfish, she knew that, and it was one of several reasons she believed herself to be unworthy of his love and affection.

But to hear exactly how her decision affected him…it tore her apart. Was there anything she could say to reassure him? Probably not. It didn’t mean she wouldn’t try. “That’s….fair.” She sighed and looked up at him, her eyes pleading. “You make valid points Kyun. And you have no idea just how sorry I am that they even have to be made.”

“I think- no. I /know/ that if it was just pity, it wouldn’t have been this hard, this scary, to deal with. It’s real Kyun. Frankly speaking, I don’t even think I’m capable of playing with someone’s feelings like that. I’ve had it happen to me, you know that. You know that I know how it feels to be played. I’d never do that to someone else, especially you, and especially intentionally.”

“I’m beyond serious. I always was, that’s just my nature. Before I was serious about avoiding all things related to love. But you…you managed to bypass all of that and settle into my heart in a way that no one else has before. I know my family and status mean nothing to you, you always say /me/ and I think that was part of what scared me. Even that time we had dinner, and you demanded we not have any work-related talk.” She chuckled lightly, the memory bringing a ghost of a smile to her lips.

“Working hard is all I’ve ever really known. But you constantly showed me that there is way more to life than just work. You practically demanded it. I’m so used to taking charge and getting things done, of being in control. None of that applied to you though. I couldn’t control /anything/ when it came to you. My jealousy, my worry, my fear…my love. I couldn’t stop it, and at some point I found myself not /wanting/ to stop it.”

She took a deep breath, steeling herself before reaching out to take his hand tentatively, keeping the touch light in case he wanted to pull away. “I’m a coward, I know. I took the cowardly way by running instead of just talking to you like I am now. The truth is, I have no idea what I’m doing Kyun. This has never happened to me before. I don’t know how to handle it or what to do. But I want to learn. I know I have a long way to go, and I understand if you say no or aren’t willing but…will you teach me? I want this…I want /you/…and I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”

“I know I hurt you, more than you’re telling me. And I know that no amount of apologizing or anything I do could ever truly make up for it. But if you’d allow me, I’d like to at least try.”

@✵ park nayeon〘ʙᴇʟʟᴀ〙ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ He let her talk and slowly closed off the distance between them. All while keeping attention to each and every word she said. And to be honest, he couldn’t believe what she was saying right now as his eyes gradually widened in surprise at the revelation.

Love. She said she loves him.

Kyungho didn’t even register the rest of her rambling words as those three words were still ringing in his ears. She loves him and that terrified her? He tried to make out any logic from that but it was useless. She said she was terrified of being not good enough. Then again, if they didn’t give it a try, how would she say something like that?

Seeing her right in front of him weakened his resolve, not to mention that Bella was finally spilling out her feelings, the things he wanted to hear the most from her was finally coming out. Even so, Kyungho couldn’t help but to doubt everything. Were all the things she said the truth? What if it was just so he could forgive her?

Thousands of ‘What if's' filled his mind and he couldn’t help it even when the urge to just hug her tightly was getting stronger as time passed with her being so near. He missed her terribly. That was when the sense of betrayal returned again as his mind replayed how he searched for her around the town without knowing she was already on her journey back to Korea.

A loud sigh coming out from his parted lips. As much as he wanted to forgive her, his pain from her action was still fresh, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to just forgive and forget. He better let her know that, after all, in any kind of relationship, communication is the key for a good relationship.

“I appreciate you telling me all of that.” Kyungho casted his eyes downwards, suddenly the pavement was more interesting than looking at her beautiful face. Knowing that there was no way he could stay mad at her if she kept looking at him with such an intense stare. “I…searched for you all around the town. In the morning when I couldn’t find you and your luggage. Asking every person I see if they saw you and even considered filing a missing person report to the police, only to find out from the hotel staff that you were already leaving in the middle of the night. Do you have any idea how scared I was at that time when I couldn’t find you anywhere, Nayeon?”

Clenching his fists again to suppress the anger that started boiling again, he took a moment before continuing. “You rejected every call, left my messages on the seen, and even when I asked Yura to reach you, you shut me out. Without knowing anything, have you ever given a little thought about how I would feel? I seriously thought that I did something that offended you. That I did something unknowingly that made you hate me. Did you ever think about that even just a tiny bit, Nayeon? Have you ever even considered my feelings at all?”

“You can say you love me but your actions made me believe otherwise.” Shoulders slumped as he let out a dry laughter, feeling defeated and tired. “I don’t know what I should believe anymore.” Finally lifting his head up to look at her, a wry smile appeared on the corner of his lips. “Do you think my feelings for you were so easy? That this feeling that I have for years will be gone just like that? Even I myself was surprised that I still love you even after what you put me through. But I’m done chasing you, Nay. I’m tired. I’ve been there for you through ups and downs in your life but as if it meant nothing for you, you were too scared to open up and chose to run away instead.” Disappointment could clearly be seen in both his eyes and face as he talked, letting her know his inner thoughts.

“There’s no guarantee if in the future you wouldn’t do something like that again when you came into another realization, maybe that it was not love, just a little pity for me. And if that happens… I don’t think I could handle something like that anymore.” He sighed “If you want to make it up to me, I won’t stop you, do whatever you wish. But if it was just out of pity, I suggest you should just find someone else to toy with. Since I don’t want to play any games anymore. I’ve tried to be patient, waiting for you and be there for you all of the time. You know how serious I am about you, so please. I beg you. If you are not being just as serious as I am, leave me alone. The choice is yours.” Kyungho stood firm there, waiting for what she would do after his ultimatum.

Since in all honesty, he knew he would break down if she was just playing with his feelings. He needed to protect what’s left of his heart and hand it to someone even though that someone was someone he loved, if she wasn’t being genuine, he would rather keep everything to himself.

So he waited there, waiting for her to make her call.

@✵ choi kyungho〘ᴋ〙ˣ.ᵈᵉᵐⁱᵒⁿ That crushing guilt washed over her again, threatening to suffocate her. So many things that she wanted to say, but she wasn’t sure what would make things better or make them worse. His scoff hurt more than she thought was possible, tears already threatening to form in her eyes. She was being unfair, she knew, as she didn’t even deserve to cry over such an amazing man. He deserved so much better than what she had given him, than what she continues to give him.

But if there was one thing about Park Nayeon, it was that she never backed downed. She was Park Nayeon for crying out loud. But what good was her name, her family, her reputation, when the one she had come to love was standing before her in a state that /she/ put him in. Even his words, although harsh, rang true to even her own ears. Was she really so predictable? Was she really so broken that she couldn’t even admit to her own feelings?

No.

This wasn’t the time to be so cowardly when faced with her feelings. She let him talk, soaking in every word, having missed his voice, even with it laced with hurt and anger. Her head snapped up to look up at him at his words. Finally face to face, she quickly shook her head, making her way over to him almost frantically.

“Hate you?” It was bewildering to her, the prospect of such an emotion towards him. Romantic feelings aside, he had always been someone she had come to treasure as a good friend, there was no way she could ever hate him. “Kyun…I could never hate you. Q-Quite the opposite really.”

It was no or never. Nayeon knew that she probably wouldn’t have an opportunity to express herself beyond this moment, so she took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment to gather herself before looking at him once more, this time filled with determination to tell him everything she had been meaning to tell him for years. “I said I’m sorry because I am. I never should have left, especially without telling you. And I’m not foolish enough to believe that a simple sorry could fix anything. But I wasn’t sure where to start.”

Don’t be a coward anymore Nayeon. Just ing say it.

“The truth is…I was scared. No. Terrified. Because I had come to a realization and I didn’t know how to handle it. So I…I panicked. Even in my panic I knew I was making an irrational decision, but I made it anyway. I didn’t think it would hurt you to this degree, though I /did/ suspect it would at least upset you.” She took another deep breath, resteeling herself as she managed to move, little by little closing the distance between them. Distance that she had caused.

“I can’t forget them Kyun. You see…the realization I came to? Was that I love you. I’ve loved you for a while now, I just couldn’t see it. Or maybe I didn’t /want/ to see it. I don’t know. What I /do/ know is that I’ve never felt like this for anyone, not even my ex. And that terrifies me. What if I’m not good enough? No. I /know/ I’m not. I mean…there has to be a reason why he cheated right? And I know you’re not him. I /know/ that. But that constantly plays in my head, especially when it comes to you.”

She was rambling now, she knew that. But maybe it was better this way. She could finally get everything she needed off her chest.

“When you invited that reporter woman to watch you play basketball, I admit I was jealous. I tried to deny it by telling myself you were just like the rest of them. But I knew i was lying to myself. I think…I think I started to like you from then. And then when I was in the hospital, you did what you could to be there for me then too. I’m not really sure when it turned into love, maybe it always was love. But I didn’t realize it fully until we were together in Surrey. Being away from everything…I got to see you in a new light. I saw a side of you I wasn’t used to, being around your family, realizing we had a lot more in common than i ever noticed before…it was amazing. And scary.”

Now she was right in front of him, having moved as she spoke to close both the metaphorical and literal distance between them. “I know I ed up. Probably beyond repair. So if you no longer have any feelings for me I understand. If being labelmates, just colleagues, is what you want then I’ll respect it. But if there’s even still just a miniscule chance that your feelings remain…then you should know for certain that I, Park Nayeon, am in love with you Choi Kyungho. And I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize it, and even longer to say it. And I’m sorry that my took the cowardly way instead of telling you upfront from the beginning. If I’ve missed my chance I understand…but if not…I don’t care how long it takes, allow me to make it up to you somehow…”

@✵ park nayeon〘ʙᴇʟʟᴀ〙ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ He had kind of wished that she would just leave him alone as he wasn’t sure that he could say anything nice to her right now. Not when it took everything in his will power to not just blow out, demanding an answer from her. No. Even though he was truly hurt by her actions, Kyungho couldn’t bear to inflict pain to her with harsh words.

Although he did know that silent treatment could hurt someone ten thousand times worse than harsh words.

Without him having to open his eyes, he was sure that she was still lingering around there. And it was proven when he heard the soft apology came out from her. Initially he thought that his anger issue would disappear after she apologized but on the contrary, it only made things worse for him. He waited. Just in case she would say something else after that apology. He waited again for her, as if that was the only thing that he knew about. To wait.

Maybe Choi Kyungho was just tired of waiting.

Brows furrowed in a frown. That apology didn’t settle nicely for him. Was that it? After what she’d done and all she could say was just a simple “I’m sorry?” Without him able to stop, a little scoff escaped from him as he crossed his arms on his chest, eyes were still closed as an attempt to block her existence there.

His chest heaved up and down as he tried to calm himself down. It wouldn’t do him any good if he lost his composure there. It was still a public space after all, everyone could walk in and if they saw him explode to a woman who is far smaller than him, he would have to deal with nasty rumors, and it wouldn’t be good for his group.

So, what does he do? He waited again. For her to say anything else and not just that short I’m sorry. Anything that could calm the raging storm inside him that was more than ready to be unleashed.

But he only met with silence. And as time passed, he grew more impatience.

“That’s it?” His tone sounded harsher than he intended to, laced with venom caused by disappointment and anger. “I should’ve known better than to expect anything from you.” Kyungho stood up, his eyes finally set on Bella’s tiny frame. He had to clenched his fists in order to not just run towards her and pull her into his embrace.

No. He had done his part. More than enough.

What exactly did he want to hear from her anyway? Maybe aside from just those simple apologetic words that almost didn’t sound so sincere, he wanted her to explain why she left him like that. Or any kind of rejection for his feelings. Anything more than just what she just said to him.

If she wasn’t going to talk, then maybe he should.

“You know.” He started, trying so hard to keep his voice down “If you don’t want me. Or if my feelings for you start to become a burden for you. Or if you hate me… You can just say so. Spare me that I’m sorry bull and say it right away to my face and not take a cowardly way out, Park Nayeon-ssi.”

Even he himself winced at his cold tone towards her. Never could he ever imagine that there would be a day when he would talk to her like this.

“So if you have nothing better to say, let’s just pretend that everything that happened between us, not that any anyway, never happened. The dates, the gifts, the flowers… You can just forget them. None of that matters anymore. I got the message.” His heart was breaking, again, but this time because of his own words and he did his best to not let any tear roll down. “From now on, we are just a labelmate. Co-workers and nothing more.”

[post deleted by owner]

@✵ choi kyungho〘ᴋ〙ˣ.ᵈᵉᵐⁱᵒⁿ Nayeon could feel her heart shattering into a million pieces. He hadn’t said a word, and yet he said so much. It took all of her willpower to not burst into tears as he brushed past her. One might say it was cruel of him to treat her in such a way. But was it really? Or was it simply her karma finally giving her what she deserved.

If she thought about it, perhaps /she/ was the cruel one. To an outsider, it would seem as if she had strung him along all these years, but the truth was that she was terrified. Kyungho had provided a stability and comfort in ways that Nayeon wasn’t used to. And it scared her. That fear let to irrational moves, like leaving the love of your life stranded in a foreign land. She paused at the doors of the elevator as they closed behind her, leaving the two of them along on the rooftop.

She didn’t dare to move closer just yet, not when his aura was so dark. In all the years she had known the man, she had never seen him in such a state, and she knew she was the cause. But it was one thought that kept playing in her head. She was an idiot, that much she knew. All these years, she had been terrified to fall for him, not realizing that she already had. If one were to analyze the whole time they had known each other, it probably would be easy to tell when Nayeon started to have her own feelings.

The basketball game. She remembers it like it was yesterday, mainly because she hadn’t felt jealousy like that in years. Not since her first boyfriend, and he had cheated on her. Perhaps that was why she denied it so strongly. Kyungho had invited her to watch him play, and like a schoolgirl in love, she happily accepted and was excited. She even had gotten dressed up to watch him play…only to find another girl there that he had also invited. Just a friend, he had reassured her, and while she wanted to believe him, she was hurt and jealous.

The other woman had looked much more sophisticated than her, older and more beautiful too. She was a reporter who had been doing a special on Kyungho and wanted candid shots for her piece. Business. That was something that Nayeon understood all too well. Yet still, it was a sting that Nayeon hadn’t expected, and it had only made her more apprehensive to allow herself to fall.

Anyone could look at Kyungho and see he was attractive, but that wasn’t what drew her in. It was his persistence, his resilience, his patience. His compassion and understanding, his respect. The love he has for his family and friends, never wavering. But how long would it truly last? Maybe a part of her kept looking for him to give up and walk away, so she could feel justified in feeling like he would be the same as the others.

But every step of the way he proved her wrong. Even now, when he had every right to lash out at her, he stood calm and collected, even as she could see the raging storm within him just waiting to come out. The longer she stood there the more things she wanted to say. In the end, she crept closer, wanting to make sure he could hear her but still give him the space he seemed to require. “I’m sorry.” Her voice carried along the wind towards her love, and she only hoped that he could understand all the unspoken things she wanted to say as well.

@✵ park nayeon〘ʙᴇʟʟᴀ〙ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ Making his way from the parking lot towards the elevator was none other than Choi Kyungho, although it seemed like something that happened all the time but it’s been a few days since everyone has been avoiding him on purpose. He didn’t know the reason nor care about it anyway. But if you ask the others who saw him, simply because his aura was almost…murderous.

The usually kind and nice guy was replaced by a cold and always glaring one. It was as if he was in a constantly bad mood everyday and no one knew the reason why. Though his close friends might say that it has something to do with his last vacation to England. Some said that he got his heart broken to pieces there, which is extremely close to the truth.

As he waited for the elevator, Kyungho’s mind took him back to what happened in Surrey, England. The vacation which was supposed to be one happy memory easily became one of the vacations he loathed. Just as everything was looking good, it disappeared in a blink of an eye. Four years. He had been chasing, waiting and loving Park Nayeon for a whole four years. Despite the initial rejection from the lady, he didn’t waver. He knew she was hurt before and he was determined to show her that if she gave him the chance, he would love her with all of his heart and protect her heart.

His friends called him stupid. While it would be very easy for him to choose any woman he wanted to have, why would he waste his time waiting for someone who would never look his way? Kyungho would just laugh at them, saying that what he felt for her was real and no one could replace her in his heart. That’s why to prove how serious he was, he didn’t mind waiting for her; waiting until Bella was ready to accept him while little by little showering her with his affection, to always be there for her whenever she needed someone. He would selflessly do that simply just to make her more comfortable around him, at some point he did consider giving up about confessing, but never once did he want to give up to be her pillar of support.

Then as time went by, Kyungho saw that she was accepting more of his gesture, and even went to have a little “date” even though in her words, it was just a business dinner. But since it was just the two of them, he banned her from talking about work through the night and that night ended up being one of the best nights in his life.

That’s why after a lot of consideration, he invited her to go with him to England. By using the excuse of his father opening a new hotel there which he had to attend and was required to bring someone, he asked Bella to come, with an additional excuse being she used to study in England so she had to be his tour guide.

Everything went smoothly at first, they even joked around inside the car, having a blast at the gala dinner party, and he even managed to introduce her to his family (mainly father and uncle). Everything was perfect. So why did they have to end that disastrously?
The next morning after the party was the beginning of it all. Her suitcases were gone, K couldn’t reach her phone, no matter how many times he tried to call her. In his state of panic, he searched for her throughout the city, asking the people if they saw her, only for all of them to say no. Afraid that something bad happened, Kyungho even considered calling the police to file a missing person report when the receptionist from last night told him that she left the hotel at midnight.

Why?

That simple question was still left unanswered until now. He felt a lot of things. Disappointment, anger, sadness, and most of all, betrayal. Never in his whole life he ever felt something like this. If she, even after all of these years, still didn’t feel the same way like he does, Kyungho would rather have her say it out loud instead of doing the disappearing act like that. Flat out rejection would taste better than being ghosted.

Once he landed back in Korea, he even asked Sun to help him to get through Bella but it was the same answer, Bella refused.

SIghing quietly as the elevator arrived at the basement level, Kyungho chose to go to the rooftop first to clear up his head, not wanting his really sour mood to affect his schedule for the day. Choosing to lean against the elevator’s wall, Kyungho closed his eyes, all while trying to set his mood to be at least friendly enough when it stopped at another level before the rooftop (he knew without having to open his eyes since the ride was so short) and only opening his eyes when he heard his name whispered in a shocked tone.

Fate was indeed the bearer of cruelty.

There. There she was. Standing in front of him inside the tiny confinement of the elevator. The one lady he had desperately trying to reach, to ask why would she do something like that. But as he landed his gaze upon her, all he could feel was anger and disappointment. Was it still worth it to hold his feelings for her after what she’s done?

Stuffy. He needs to get out of there.

That was when he noticed that the both of them were heading towards the rooftop. He cursed in his head at the bad play of fate today. He was about to reach out to choose a different floor to get out when he realized that it was a bit too late, as the elevator dinged again, opening right at the rooftop entrance.

Wordlessly, he walked past her. As if she wasn’t there. If that is how she wanted to be, then so be it. She was the one who made the first move by disappearing, he was just following; like always. His arm brushed over her shoulder as he walked out towards the rooftop garden, choosing to sit at the far corner, leaning back while closing his eyes.

Today was not a good day to face Park Nayeon. And maybe not any time soon.

@✵ choi kyungho〘ᴋ〙ˣ.ᵈᵉᵐⁱᵒⁿ Guilt.

Never in her life had she ever felt such a strong emotion before. Not even the nervousness and excitement of debuting, nor the first win, or the first world tour, none of it compared to the guilt that ate away at Park Nayeon. Why did she did it? Even she didn't really know the answer. If asked, she'd say she panicked, which was true. But why? All she did was come to a realization, that she was, in fact, falling for Choi Kyungho. It was a good thing, that much she knew. So why was she acting like it was the worst thing that could happen?

Since being back in Korea, she'd taken to avoiding Kyungho as much as possible. She stopped responding to his texts, his calls, she didn't even know if he was still in Surrey or had already figured out she was gone and returned to Korea himself. Frankly speaking, she didn't know how to face him after what she had done. There was no way she could make that right, she wasn't that naive. But surely there was /something/ that she could to to salvage what they had. An anxious Nayeon continued to pace the hallway as she thought, her fingers playing with the hem of her blouse.

He had always been a constant for her over the last few years, perhaps, subconsciously, a part of her took that for granted. He had never wavered in his affection towards her and always respected that she needed time and space. She didn't make it easy, she knew that. Love had burned her and left her bitter, not wanting /anything/ to do with the subject and avoiding it at all costs. He knew that, and still......."Oh Nayeon what have you done." She whispered to herself.

Suddenly the air in the hall felt suffocating, and she needed air, fresh air. Hastily, she made her way to the elevator, pressing the button a few times as she bounced on her feet. The ding was enough for her, and she was slipping inside before the doors had even fully opened. Pressing the button for the rooftop, she chewed on her lip before letting her head fall to the wall. Looking over, her eyes widened as her back straightened, face pale as she was confronted with the one person she had been avoiding this whole time. "K-Kyungho..."

@✵ liu haoming〘ᴋᴀᴍʀɪɴ〙ᵗʳᵃᶦⁿᵉᵉ As they were slowly but surely approaching the peak of summer, the weather outside was typically quite nice, which was pretty much inviting him not to spend all of his time locked up in practice rooms inside the company building. Even though the rooms were equipped with air conditioning which allowed him a balanced temperature, today offered a light breeze that helped tune down the heat, and hence it felt like the perfect chance to soak up a bit of sun. Bringing along an acoustic guitar, he climbed up to the terrace and took up one of the white seats, picking up one of the stone ashtrays on his way. The terrace was thankfully calm, a few people coming upstairs for some fresh air or a smoke break, but overall it was quiet and allowed him some peace and space. He kept a lit cigarette between his lips, his instrument over his lap, and the sketched-up notebook on the seat next to him as he moved his fingers through the strings and proceeded to note down whatever sounded good to him in the process of hopefully composing a brand new song for the band.