⟼ jh & tn

@l. jihun .ᐟ The late evening sun bathed the room in a soft, golden light, casting long shadows across the floor and over the body settled on it. Ten lay stretched out in front of the window, his body sprawled across the floor, soaking up the lingering warmth that eased the ache in his frame. It was one of those rare moments when the sunlight was gentle enough to ease the tension in his muscles but not harsh enough to make him shift and turn with restlessness. He closed his eyes, focusing on that warmth, willing it to untie the knot that had formed in his chest, sitting like a ton of bricks.

The calm he was chasing so desperately felt elusive.

His body had betrayed him again. The 'wobbly days', as he so bitterly referred to them, came without warning, turning his usuallu agile, graceful self into a failure; something unsteady and weak. It annoyed - no, it infuriated him. He hated those days. He could feel his calf muscles twitch just at the passing thoughts. Hated how they stole his ability to function and do the simplest things, how his legs refused to cooperate and most of all, how it made him feel so useless.

Especially in front of Jihun.

Ten's eyes flickered open, vision slightly blurred as he traced the light and shadows playing out shapes on the ceiling. It wasn't like the latter had ever said anything or given him a reason to think such a thing. But still, he was still Ten and it still gnawed at him to be so.. ugh. He didn't want to be seen like that - weak, vulnerable.. constantly struggling with something as basic as walking to another room.

Jihun deserved better than a partner who could barely hold himself up on some days.

Taking a deep breath, a long sigh escaped his lips, the sound barely louder than the hum of the evening breeze outside. He knew he couldn't help it. He couldn't fix it. He couldn't get rid of it - just like everything else that made his life and himself so messy. It was how things had become for him, a part of being what he was. But know that didn't make it better or easier to swallow. It didn't stop the frustration from simmering beneath his skin, gnawing at him like a constant reminder that he had limits due to his own stupid, naive choices.

The thought alone made the scars on his shoulders throb, causing him to curl in on himself just so much more.

The warmth of the sun on his skin was comforting, but it wasn't about to cleanse the past or chase away the restlessness stirring inside him. He shifted just so, an arm raising to rest across his eyes, blocking out the gentle light as if it would silence the thoughts. He was struggling with the thoughts, the scars, the disability he'd been so graciously gifted by his past lover. He just wanted to shut his brain off and relax.