⚘ ㅤsen ₓ naeri

@✿ sen m。 iNHALES that post never happened
eXhales

bright rays of sunshine were seeping in through the thin curtains in their bedoom, cascading over the married couple. feeling a small tickle from the side of my face, my lips pursed and my nose crinkled in distaste before i shifted away from the touch. my limbs wrapped around the your waist instinctively and i threw my left leg over yours as i buried my face into your chest. although this wasn't a foreign feeling, given that we had shared a bed for the past several years, today had felt different. your arms that had held me felt more secure, your bare chest had exuded a warmth that i had craved, and your light snores were so soothing to hear. happiness had seeped in through that tiny little opening in our window just like the first morning rays of the sun, and had spread its arms and lit up our world. we just had to let the dark night pass, because the sun rose and so will we.

@✿ naeri j。 gets out-okno

@✿ sen m。 k.

@✿ sen m。 i'm crying i hate you get out

@✿ naeri j。 our heated, heavy breaths pant together in unison as the moment we share becomes intimate. the gleam in your eyes, your delectable lips that tease me, i can't help but put my hands on you; the look in your eyes was enough for me to know where the night was going. POUNDTOWN, BABY. like an animal, i attack you, my hands in places they shouldn't be, my face against your soft, warm skin as i kiss places that don't see the sun. the scent of your body amplifies with the sweat and the heat of the moment, driving me to my wild instincts, i paint a picture of our pasison with marks on your skin and then mount that for one hell of a ride to POUNDTOWN, BABY. put em in oVERDRIVE YE AH rev that engine and we going time traveling 88 mph ain't gonna stop aHHH and there goes my hip, you were right :' D but it mY BALLS WERE SLAPPING THAT I AIN'T GONNA STOP TF WHO DO YOU THINK I AM; our bodies become one in the night, closer than thought possible, i feel myself deep inside you and try my hardest not to nut, passionately going in slow and steady like a heartbeat aND YOU BET TE R ING LIKE I S W E A R MY HIPS ING HURT GDI I STILL HAVEN'T RECOVERED FROM MY BASEBALL INJURY :' D oh wait this was supposed to be flowery and non descriptive timeskip but uh whoop s u hm - what else- u hh as i feel your mULTIPL E ! ! ! tight s against my big #phat , your weak yelps of pleasure, i give the liberty of pULLING OUT ON HABIT BECAUSE LMAO KIDS NUGU and a ton on your because you got like the cutest lemme on em babe- but haha are you gonna be mad at me for pulling out :' D fuc k i feel like i'm gonna get in trouble for pulling out- b UT WH ATE VE R - tugging the last drips of my sPI CY HOT CU M onto your , my fingers comb through your hair and i pull you close to peck your temple a good job. "damn yo dank af girl," i compliment in the soft, familiar husky half breath tone i always did after snacking on that crack , my eyes look at you in a dazed, lovelust gaze, like tbh i kinda wanna take a nap but imma be a good husband and find a cumrag first- my eyes refuse to look away from you and i stub my toe on the corner of the bedframe, and i pretend to play it cool in agonizing pain, bending forward and luckily, your lazy drops towels all over the room like it's nothing so aYYY cumrag to save the day god bless you baby.

@✿ sen m。 moving by themselves, my hands make their way from your cheeks, guiding themselves to wrap around your neck, a frenzy of rushed motions overtaking me. i was unsure what was happening, or rather, i knew, but didn't know what to do about it. we had just fought, so to feel your eagerness to do this as you kissed me was a bit alarming, but who cares? breaking the kiss, my breathing is heavy as i look down for a second before looking up at you again, eyes gleaming, lips parted, but unable to form a proper thought. were we doing this? were we really doing this? i mean, it was understandable because it'd been two months since it last happened, and we've definitely done it more than enough, so why was i so nervous? looking straight into your eyes, i quirk an eyebrow up as if to ask, to confirm if we were on the same wavelength.

@✿ naeri j。 my smile spreads from ear to ear at the compliments that just seem to pile on each other, wow i really am the best. my abdomen vibrates softly as air blows out of my nose softly in a humble chuckle as you inch closer to me, your smile tugs at my heart, if you didn't take my lips in that moment i would have done it for myself; the sloppy touch of our lips against each other, the taste of your lips on mine, i feel your breath blow against my wet lips as you speak and i can't help but respond with a quick, "me too, babe," my tongue brushing against your lips as i hungrily kiss you back, my hands making a mess of your hair as it just kinda gets tossed around in my hold. haha wow but it really had been too long since this has happened, two damn months of saving this nut - i felt like a teenager again.

@✿ sen m。 it was so like you to gush out of nowhere, and at this point i shouldn't have been surprised, but i was and i immediately let out a small snort as i broke away from our touching foreheads. shaking my head, i cluck my tongue before turning back towards you, but cupping both your cheeks in the palms of my hands this time. "i should be saying that, i scored a jackpot. handsome, loving, affectionate, attentive, understanding... how did i get so blessed with the best? i must've saved a country in my previous life or something." i murmur, my face inching towards yours every second. stopping right before our lips meet, my gaze flickers to your eyes to your lips, breaking into a infatuated smile in the middle before i capture your lips with my own, taking the moment and making it our moment. "god, i ing love you so much."

@✿ naeri j。 the warmth of your palm touches my jaw before your soft lips touch against my skin, your sweet words of comfort register to my ears as music and my gaze falls under your spell the way i do everyday. my fingers scrunch your hair softly as i steal a kiss from your lips; my eyes closed as i press my lips against yours. as i pull away, my forehead rests on yours and my eyes stare deep into yours. my heart begins to race, every time i look into your eyes i fall in love with you again, i remember why i fell in love with you and i stand there in silence with nothing but our breaths filling in the moment. i remember to savor this moment before answering you with a completely unrelated statement as i'm captivated by you as if we were newlyweds again, "i'm so lucky to have you."

@✿ sen m。 the fact that we've reconciled leaves me at ease, a genuine smile finally being able to curl at the edge of my mouth. as if i've been craving it, though i had let go only moments ago, my arms bring themselves to envelope around your torso, my face burying itself in your chest. shaking my head, i inhale deepy, letting your familiar scent fill me as a source of comfort. tilting my head upwards, i bring one hand up to pat your cheek before leaning up to peck your jaw. "mmm, it's alright. what married couple doesn't have fights? we were both wrong, and we've made up. it's alright, really."

@✿ naeri j。 my head shakes as i hear the word sorry, my arms go to hold you without me even thinking about it. "don't be sorry, you know what, let's just save this baby talk for later- i'm not in my right mind right now." my arms envelope you in a warm embrace, my hands bury themselves in your hair, rubbing your head affectionately as i begin to profusely apologize to you in small whispers against your crown, "i'm sorry, babe, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you like that, i'm sorry," i repeat softly. "i love you," i say as i peck your crown as i always do.

@✿ sen m。 i don't know what to say, i don't know how to tell you that i'm scared you're going to change your mind yet again. but i'm not in the mood to fight with you, i honestly never am, and so i just bite down on my lower lip and hide my face in my hands. unable to actually fathom words for a while, i let the silence envelope us before i rub my cheeks and let my hands fall. "alright. let's have a baby. i'm sorry if i came off in the wrong way. you know i didn't mean to. i don't like when we fight. can we not do this, please? i just want to love you."

@✿ naeri j。 my eyebrows furrow, my eyes squint, my face pulls back as i hear your argument, absolutely puzzled, "babe, i'm telling you that i want to do it for once and this is how you react? babe, i'm telling you that i'm good to start trying and it feels like you're not listening to me at all," a frustrated exhale leaves my breath as my eyes widen, looking at the ground, trying to ground myself. "babe, i just want to give you what you want," i explain, "don't worry about me, i'll be fine, i just want you to be happy." i try my hardest to calm down as i look into your eyes. "seriously, babe, trust me when i tell you that i'll be fine. you're all i need in this world, with you, i can do anything."

@✿ sen m。 my eyebrows furrow in confusion as i watch you get angry, your tone getting colder and your face contorting into an unimpressed expression. my lips curl downwards into a slight frown, not quite understanding what right you have to be mad and why you weren't understanding the reason i had denied this. "what? why would i mess around on a matter like this? i've been wanting this for over four years, you should know this the best by now. am i ready? i've been ready, i've been waiting! i'm trying to explain my stance to you, yet you're over here trying to pick childish fights!" pushing myself away from the embrace, i take a step back, placing both hands on my hip. "i'm really not in the mood to fight with you, sen. all i've wanted from our relationship, from our marriage, was for you to be happy. i know i kept pressuring you lately, but you have to understand my side too. we're not young anymore, sen, and you were so firm on no. how the hell am i supposed to react when you act like a completely different person out of nowhere?"

@✿ naeri j。 i take a deeeeeeeep inhale as i get ready to blast you off with a mouthful because it just seems as if you're not understanding what i'm trying to say like wow how much do i have to do to bury this in your it's bEEN TWO MONTHS PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME- "babe," i say a little too loud with a stern tone, "listen to me, i'm telling you that i'll be fine. i'm not changing my mind. i'm saying that i'm not ready for a baby today or tomorrow, but if within the next year, i promise you i'll be fine." my thumb rubs over your cheeks because you're still pretty even when we fight. "why don't you trust me, babe?" i ask, honestly a little hurt because w O W where is the trust in this relationship, "i'm telling you to trust me but all you're doing is telling me to trust myself- are you even ready for this?" my breaths get quick and heavy as my speech gets faster, your words sinking into my brain like glass, "i thought this was what you wanted, but now that i'm giving you what you wanted, are you backing out? babe-" my eyes close as i try to compose myself. "are you ing with me, do you even want this?" i ask with raised, furrowed brows because wow i thought i loved you but wtf is this.

@✿ sen m。 "baby, i trust you. i really do. but... you change your mind so often, and it's like a continuous cycle of getting my hopes up and then crushing them down again. it's cruel, and i'd rather just wait until you actually feel ready." i explain, leaning up slightly to leave a kiss on your jaw. "i know the chances of conceiving are slim—you know it too—but if we do manage to conceive before you're able to prepare yourself, then i don't want to imagine everything that could happen. i don't want it to cause a strain on our relationship. and i'm saying this because i know you, and i know me, and i know that it will. you might think it won't, but it will. don't trust on the slim probability rate, but instead... trust yourself."

@✿ naeri j。 anticipating your response, i shake my head, deep in thought. "it's not that," i say, "you were right when you said that i wanted kids too- it's just that i'm not ready yet-" i take a moment's pause to string my words together, "but it's not like making a kid is an easy instant process, you know?" my eyes make contact with yours, my hand grabs onto yours, "a kid won't be a burden at all, i promise, it's just- i need to prepare myself." i make sure to speak slowly as i look balls deep in your eyes, "but i'll be ready by the time it comes, so let's get started. as long as i'm with you i'm sure that i'll be able to do it." my arms bring you into another embrace. "trust me, babe," i whisper, really banking that it'll be at least a year or two before successfully conceiving, fingers crossed because boy oh boy i'm still not ready but like come on now i got two months worth of nUT that belongs in that puss d ABS

@✿ sen m。 i blinked once. twice. thrice. nothing happened. it wasn't a dream. was i hallucinating? my eyebrows furrowed together on their own in confusion, my lips tugging downwards into a frown. "pardon? what did you just say?" i asked, disbelief evident in my voice as my arms around you fell and my head whipped upwards to meet your gaze. this was a victory, my victory. you had given in. but why did i feel so disgruntled? shaking my head, my lips parted as my fingers curled into the palm of my hands, forming loose fists. "no, no," the words came out before i could process them, and i had stepped away from you before even i knew it. "i want kids, but not like this. , baby... i know i've been pressuring you this whole time, but i don't want you to do it because you feel forced or because you feel guilty." i bring a hand up to rake my bangs back, leaving it there as it makes it way to rub my nape. biting my lip, i confess, "i don't want the child to be a burden. i don't want him or her to grow up and find out their mother forced their father into having them. i don't want... i don't want you to repeat history. it's fine, really. i promise, baby, it's alright. we can try out other things. we can... we can always adopt."

@✿ naeri j。 ✿ naeri j。 7 hours ago Reply
@✿ sen m。 those three words yet again. another time, the same excuse. no matter how many times i had attempted to bring up this topic, we always went back in this same circle. i'm not ready, you'd say, alright, i'd say. i knew it was going to go nowhere, i knew you'd say the same thing again... so why did i keep insisting on it? my gaze on your falters and i look down quickly, letting out a small sigh before shaking my head and looking up at you yet again. another feigned smile on my face. "alright. we still have time," i tried my best to reassure you, but even i didn't know if that was the truth anymore. i knew my body the best, and with my history, i feared that the chances of conceiving grew smaller each day. but you were already so concerned with hurting me, and with your childhood trauma from your parents and their broken marriage, i had decided it'd be better not to tell you. maybe bringing a child into our marriage really would be a strain. after all, forcing a child onto you when you weren't ready might make you think you were a splitting image of your father. of course i wanted a child, but i wanted you more. "we'll be okay, baby. we'll be okay." or at least, i hoped we would be'

with a deep inhale, i tried to clear my mind out to look for a solution to the mess that i've been digging us into. i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to have kids, of course, i wanted kids with you. i'd be an idiot not to. the sad look on your face as you smile stabbed me in the heart when you drew the white flag against my words; i hated that look. my fingers your cheek softly as i think about all the complications - just how hard it'd be for you to conceive and i put away my pride and my worries to see your real smile again. it was going to hard anyway and by the time i was ready, it'd be even harder, so reluctantly, i give in. "don't give me that look," i mutter, my arms grab your body close against mine. for a moment, i debate with myself. i'm definitely not ready to be a father but it was going to be hard to conceive anyway plus the nine months, so i had plenty of time to prepare, right? "let's do it," i say slowly, reluctant to say it as i've been arguing against it for years now, "i haven't been doing my job of giving you what you've been wanting for so long, let's do it." i say it, but a part of me still clings onto doubt, part of me doubts that it'll be so easy to conceive so in the end it'd be my petty victory anyway - but that's the part i'm scared of the most. i don't want you to lose.

@❁ andy c。 AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

@✿ sen m。 @✿ naeri j。 Ayyyyyyeeee ♡