▹　❛ rooftop

@❛ hoseok l。 Though her eyes express sincere understanding, the extent of her empathy remains unknown. And she would like to keep it that way, especially after witnessing the despondency that washed over his visage when he spoke about his job. How could she tell him, when she is one of the people that causes despair? When she holds a machine in her hand, capable of taking another's life? She might as well have sent dead bodies to him directly. "No," she murmurs, her hands retreating to her lap as she straightens her posture. "Are you?"

@❛ diamonté h。 Heaving a gentle breath, he gave his lover another warm smile in appreciation of her support. He possessed little to no knowledge of the things going through her mind- her history wasn't something he was aware of at all. Instead, he directed his attention to the blunt settled beside them, deciding that now was the time to leave. "Are you going anywhere after this?" He releases her hand to pull a jar out from within his pocket, it being as little as a mere 2 inches in length. He undid the top, then stuffed the unfinished roll right into the container.

@❛ hoseok l。 She never counted, not once. Doing that is asking for the death of her own soul, because she fears that her sanity would whittle away piece by piece with every additional number. Counting meant insanity. Delirium. If she were to put an estimate on the number of lives she had taken, she would be staring at a three-digit number. Maybe teetering onto four if she counted the famillies that she may have impacted. And for what? For a cause that remains blurred to her, each kill justified by the order of a higher authority to prevent a potential threat to her country. But what of the victim’s loved ones? The innocents? She may as well have killed them too. But she doesn’t count. She doesn’t think about it. Instead, she gingerly squeezes her lover’s hand, for he is suffering just as she is.

[] um oops idk how it got that long

@❛ diamonté h。 [] pls dont mirror that baby.

@❛ diamonté h。 Having lowered his gaze to the bare opening of his hands, he pondered over the number of lifeless bodies he had placed his fingers on. He kept count at first— yes, he remembered the early year of his start— but lost all form of numerical order when it passed a hundred. For the first time in his life, he realized how present death really was. It wasn’t a rare occurrence you faced a hand-full of times— it happened everyday, and the thought had already saddened him enough to numb all feelings regarding his view on it. Completely enwrapped in the wonder of his mind, he paused at her gesture to connect. His gaze briefly fixed itself on the invitation of her hand, then he lifted his own, quietly taking hold of it.

@❛ hoseok l。 His feigned expression saddens her, for she knew all too well what it's like to conceal such pain. It's crippling, really, to see so much death when people like them are amongst the living. It turns their radiant health into something they should feel guilty about, as the person laying unconscious no longer has the luxury to experience what they did. But above all, it's a reminder that they could be next. They could be the person on the autopsy. It's a cruel world, and both of them are well aware. Silently, she extends a hand out across the table, palm facing upwards for him to take.

@❛ diamonté h。 His occupation wasn’t something he spoke about very often, whether it be with his friends or the only family member he possessed. She was right. Death was a scary thing, and yet he faced a new one nearly everyday. Every victim seemed to hold a story of their own— and his job called him to summarize how those stories ended piece by piece. Yes, it was stressful. But he’d never be one to open that gateway around her. “It isn’t. But it’s what I signed up for, and I’ve grown accustomed to it so.. yeah. That’s what I do for a living.” He gave the woman a small, stoic smile.

@❛ hoseok l。 His words hit home. As someone who struggled with the image of death for years, she understood. She understood that a corpse spoke thousands; that a life was lost, and whatever happened to them was most likely not well-deserved. Seeing them face to face was a silent invitation for a haunting that night. And it was always so daunting. She’d never get used to it. Hoseok was one of the few people to ease her, as he provided the company she needed so that she may be distracted by the ghosts she tried so hard to fend off. “I get it, baby. Death is never an easy thing to confront.”

@❛ diamonté h。 “I have days where I don’t want to be alone.” He simply says, leaning back to nudge his head against the seat. He averts his eyes upwards to stare at the sky, full of thought. The image of different bodies, some being worse than others, ran through his euphoric mind. It wasn’t as it he possessed many friends to occupy his time (since he was new to the area), and the only family member he had was his mother. “But I’ve gotten used to it. So it’s alright, I guess.”

@❛ hoseok l。 She stifles a grimace at the irony of his words, as she too, was not the only one keeping a secret. She's well aware of what dead bodies smelled like, even had the misfortune of tasting someone else's blood in the convoluted action of battle. It's distasteful, really, the image of corpses. She wonders why he does it voluntarily. "How is it like, baby?"

[] im soz this is short

@❛ diamonté h。 "Dead bodies don't smell good baby. I'd rather you not know how they smell, if you already don't." It'd be a lie to say that his other occupation didnt cross his mind, but as of now, he had no intention on revealing such info to her. Was it necessary? Honestly, yes. Did he want to scare her away though? Not this early on. It was selfish to keep such things from her. It was almost like he was luring her into a trap-- but he liked her far too much to properly know how to bring it forth.

@❛ hoseok l。 In truth, his answer did not surprise her. This is, in fact, old information, as she took initiative to research and do a background check on this man out of fear that she may blindly slip into the arms of a heinous war criminal. To relief, he is anything but that, his job description far more innocent than that of a murderous villain. Both occupations, if one were to take note that newly acquired details included mild criminal activity. She chose to overlook this knowledge, however, instead playing dumb to avoid blowing her cover. "Wow," her eyes are wide with feigned bafflement. "No wonder you prefer to shower before coming over. And here I was thinking that you sweat like a pig! But that's kinda cool, baby. Very cool."

[] omg pls don't mirror we're supposed to keep it short LOL

@❛ diamonté h。 He raised his brow in slight surprise- well, he acknowledged that it shouldn't have been surprising. But considering how often the two saw each other, he was taken aback by the idea that.. she never knew. She didn't know of his occupation, and yet he was working all the time. "I'm surprised I've never told you. I'm a forensic autopsy assistant. I study dead bodies all day, baby." He hoped the idea didn't scare her because he was aware of how off-putting it seemed psychologically. You'd have to be a little wrecked in the head to do what hoseok did.

@❛ hoseok l。 Perfectly manicured nails tap against white-painted wood in contemplation, for she had several questions of her own. Possibly too many for her to bring up in a single sitting, but that may be because it's second nature to be a little nosy. It's what she's conditioned to do, really, and the fact that she had recently gained a bit of information on this man made her all the more curious. "I have several, but I'll go slow. What do you do? Like, career."

@❛ diamonté h。 He wouldn’t have called himself a jealous individual— the levels varied for him from person to person. If he wasn’t as interested in the person he was seeing, it was easy to shrug things off. But if he portrayed any sense of jealous insecurity- it was a healthy sign that emotions were working on his end. “I see baby. I understand that.” Leaning forward, he slightly hunched in his chair, forearms settling to rest on the apples of his knees. “Well that’s all I wanted to ask of you. I was confused at first. Do you have anything you want to talk about?”

@❛ hoseok l。 "Does anyone?" She a brow, intrigued by his query, hands clasping together on the table as she keeps her eyes glued onto his. "Contrary to what happened a few weeks ago, I don't get jealous easily. That...instance sort of creeped up on me. But if I'm secure in the person I with, then jealousy would be out of the table." Both brows raise this time when he doesn't hesitate to ask another question. She's amused, really, because she didn't expect him to be so curious. "No. It just never came up. I didn't think it was important to tell you since we weren't really seeing each other then."

@❛ diamonté h。 “Do you like to feel threatened?” He gently ran his tongue over the dry surface of his lips, the weed having taken any sense of moisture he usually possessed. Though he clearly knew the answer, he was curious as to how she’d respond. His gaze naturally locked onto the brown orbs before him, head fixed to listen to her words of assurance. And then he smiled again, gullibly faithful in her love. “Did you ever hesitate to tell me about being ex military?”

@❛ hoseok l。 “Oh you don’t?” A genuine fit of laughter spills forth from , pearly whites in full display as she gazes upon the male in adoration. Though the premise of his confession was not a shock to her, the fact that he had actually vocalized his concern (albeit through the influence of a drug) was. It was absolutely adorable for her, as she never once experienced an unfiltered version of Hoseok. “I’m all yours, darlin’. No one else’s. I promise. But yes, he and I work well together, but we’re nothing more than close friends. Do you have another question for me?”

@❛ diamonté h。 Hearing such news was relieving to him, because he truly wondered who mark was. “You’re my baby. I don’t like feeling threatened by other people.” Had he been sober, he would have never admitted to such feelings. But getting Hoseok high was like tearing his filter off. He spoke whatever came to mind. And if he felt a certain way, he didn’t hesitate to inform her. “Mark’s cute though. I like the relationship you two have.” This was a reference to the interactions he witnessed (the other day) via the hostage situation.

@❛ hoseok l。 "Ah," the next question to leave his lips is expected yet again, as this was all new information that was forced onto him in the occurrence of recent, daunting events. Of course he'd want her to elaborate on it; it would only make sense. "No he didn't. We've been friends for a while, and we enlisted at the same time, just different branches. He enlisted in the Marines, whereas I went Air Force. I thought the benefits were better. We kept in touch when we could, though. We were even stationed on a joint base before."

@❛ diamonté h。 It didn't seem as if she were comfortable talking about the experience. He took notice of the way she awkwardly laughed and responded. Naturally, he assumed that to be the reason behind why she never informed him. "I'm glad I know now. It was just surprising so I had to hear it myse..lf." The male gently slurred at the end of the statement, another question coming to mind. "Did mark serve with you in the military?"

@❛ hoseok l。 “Oh,” she elicits a rather awkward chuckle, not exactly knowing how to react to such a compliment. In truth, she never really liked talking about her experience in the military. Sure, it’s gotten her to where she is now, but the things she did on field were not the best subject for conversation. “Yeah, I guess. Had to hold on a gun for a little bit too, in Afghanistan. But. Yeah.”

@❛ diamonté h。 He couldn't tell if it was due to the weed but he took immense surprise in her response, completely shaken by the idea that she, Diamonté Qiava Valentin Harper, aka his potential lover in the distant future, was so.. mechanically experienced. How could he be so unaware? "Baby.. that's so impressive. I'm speechless."

@❛ hoseok l。 Though she mirrors his smile with her own elated grin, this was quick to disappear as soon as he posed the question that she expected him to ask. “Yes I did,” she drums her fingers on the table, purely out of habit. “I served active duty for four years. Deployed to cuba, then was stationed all over—Louisiana, California, the like. I only stayed the four years. You’re probably wondering why I went. Honestly I didn’t think college was for me. I had no purpose in life at the time, so I enlisted.”

@❛ diamonté h。 At her reply, he smiled like a child, completely vulnerable to the belief that yes, he too made her happy. Unlike his usual self, he took her words to heart and stored them away for good measure without a single ounce of doubt. He liked her a lot, and nearly wanted to say he loved her (though it may have just been a good expression of his adoration, not actual love just yet). "Oh right, Baby you served in the military?"

@❛ hoseok l。 Though she knows full well that this sudden compliment was a direct effect of what he smoked, she accepted it with a growing grin. “I’m glad, baby,” she laughed, leaning forward with her forearms resting on the table. “You make me happy too. But you had questions for me?”

@❛ diamonté h。 As she settles before him, he fixes his gaze on her smile- finding nothing but absolute beauty in the sight. It wasn't necessarily difficult to carry a conversation with the hazed mindset he possessed, but he was easily distracted when in this state. "You're so pretty baby. You make me happy."

@❛ hoseok l。 There’s something endearing in the fact that he shared her curiosity. She adored the idea that he cared enough to know more about her; it was the reason for their upgraded status after all. Taking a seat in front of him without tearing her gaze away from him, she offers a small smile. “I’ll answer all of them to the best of my ability, then. So shoot, I’m listening.”

@❛ diamonté h。 "I'd like that." He simply said, not entirely firm on her work schedule. If he planned on getting to know her, that'd definitely be a start. At least then, he'd stop wondering where she were all the time. She had grown to become one of the things he thought about most throughout all his days. "I've been meaning to talk to you anyway. I have questions."

@❛ hoseok l。 “I don’t really know my own work schedule sometimes, but sure, I can send you a calendar, if you’d like.” Her eyes drift off to take in the sight of the entire complex, and in the distance, the beautiful fields that founded such a tranquil town. She smiles. No wonder he comes up here. “No, we haven’t talked about much,” she turns to face him with a small shrug. “I just wanted to see you. And honestly, I thought we’d talk.”