Room 100

@lee minho jeongin found himself smiling, a familiar response to minho's teasing. minho was right: some things wouldn't change regardless, and knowing this made jeongin's heart a little lighter. their hands separated, and jeongin knew it was time for them to part ways for the night, though his feet wouldn't move just yet. "get home safe, and soon, before i fall asleep," he said softly with a smile. "good night, minho."

jeongin slowly turned and began walking towards his dorm building, but three steps in, his head had already turned back to look at minho. jeongin let himself give one last wave, one last glance, before he finally entered the building, black convenience store bag in hand.

@yang jeongin "right. of course you have," minho teased, wanting to at least lighten the mood before the other went inside. he almost pulled his hand back entirely once jeongin took the bag, yet the sudden warmth in his palm convinced him otherwise. he felt his breathing hitch, instincts acting faster than his brain was currently working, squeezing jeongin's hand back just as gently.

"mm, i will," he paused, taking a second to collect himself before he spoke again, voice still small, "goodnight, jeongin." then, reluctantly, he pulled his hand from jeongin's grip, palm gliding against the other's, until their fingertips were the last thing touching, and inevitably his warmth was gone in its entirety.

@lee minho before his mouth could betray him, jeongin quickly gave a firm nod in response to minho's question. "i've done this a few times before," he said, not completely sure if it was reassuring but the words rolling off his tongue anyway. jeongin's eyes followed minho's hand as it picked up the black bag. minho had always cared for him like this, warmly and quietly. jeongin carefully received the bag, holding it close to his body, because it carried minho's care and concern. "thank you," jeongin said sheepishly. it was funny how minho knew him better than he knew himself. "you're right, but i will, since you asked."

jeongin reached out to hold minho's hand with his own free hand. his fingers closed around the other's palm carefully, as if he was holding minho's heart in his hands, before he gave it a gentle squeeze. "i'll get going now," jeongin said. "text me once you've reached home."

@yang jeongin "are you sure?" minho had asked, eyes showing jeongin that he truly didn't mind walking him up to his dorm room. part of him understood, though. despite jeongin's intoxication, that was still quite a bit to drop on somebody, especially with how soon it's been since he confessed. chewing on his bottom lip after waiting for a few seconds, minho leaned down to pick up the black convenience bag he nearly forgot he sat where jeongin's feet were at moments before. "i got you some migraine specific medicine to help with your head tomorrow. i had a feeling you were probably gonna go a bit overboard."

he would wait for jeongin to get inside the building before he left, to make sure that he for sure got in alright. "oh, and there's an extra water in there. i'm sure you already have some in your room, but my only request is that you chug this one before you go to sleep." he still spoke so softly that he almost didn't recognize himself.

@lee minho confessing his truth seemed to help jeongin understand his feelings better, the words he didn't know he had in him helping figure out the jumbled up thoughts in his head. he could breathe easy now. and looking over at minho, it seemed that it brought some sort of relief to him too.

jeongin nodded. he believed every word that minho said, and it made his heart swell. it felt more than just 'like', jeongin felt loved. jeongin was even more sure now: minho deserved the world. as they parked, jeongin looked to minho and found himself reflected in minho's eyes. his face was as flushed as the other's, but jeongin couldn't look anywhere else as he found himself saying, yet again, "thank you, minho." even as minho leaned in, ever so delicately fixing jeongin's hair, even as his breath hitched, the younger couldn't look away, melting at the touch he now realised he had been waiting for.

jeongin hadn't even realised minho had unbuckled his seatbelt for him, needing minho's words to snap him out of his trance. jeongin nodded and opened the car door, the cold air greeting him again as he stepped out. "thank you for sending me home'," he said. a pause. "it's getting late, you should head home first," he continued, his words firm despite his reluctant heart. minho had done a lot for him already, but there were some things jeongin needed to do by himself. "i may walk like a baby deer, but it's a short walk," he chuckled. "i'll text you as soon as i reach my room, i promise."

@yang jeongin minho was worried that maybe he said too much. even in jeongin's current state, maybe hearing minho spill his heart out was uncomfortable for him. he was thankful the second he was about to apologize again, he bit his tongue and let the other speak. he was so used to overthinking everything, but especially overthinking how much he read into the things jeongin had said before this. now, knowing that his feelings might have been the slightest bit of reciprocated, minho felt at least half of the weight of the world lift off his shoulders.

"you didn't know and... it doesn't bother me anymore. i'd do it again for you even if it did." minho wasn't sure if he felt like crying, again, because of how much he knew jeongin cared about him, or because he even had the fleeting thought that he probably didn't mean as much to the younger before these words of his. "you mean the world to me too, jeongin. no matter what happens or what you tell me later, i will never let that get in the way of us. i mean it." after minho turned into the campus parking lot outside of jeongin's dorm, he shut off the engine, finally working up the courage to look over at jeongin for the second time that night. his own face was flushed red and he knew even with the moon shining high above the clouds, the younger would be able to make it out if he paid attention.

"i'd wait for you forever, jeongin." there were a couple beats of silence, him leaning forward to push a stray strand of hair behind jeongin's ear, the first piece of affection he's probably given him since the last time they seen each other. then, rather shakily, his hand dropped to push jeongin's seatbelt from outside the buckle and then his own. "now come on. let's get you inside before you get sick, bub."

@lee minho jeongin bit his lip, the pout still forming on his face anyway. he knew it wasn't what minho meant, but the mere thought of minho liking other people still gave rise to a weird feeling bubbling in his stomach. however, as minho spoke again, whatever acid he was feeling in his stomach suddenly dissolved into butterflies, a growing kaleidoscope with each word minho said. jeongin hadn't known minho had felt and done all that, but the feelings minho was describing didn't sound too foreign to jeongin either. this time, as he listened to minho, rather than push it away, jeongin let himself feel each and every butterfly in its entirety.

"thank you for telling me," jeongin said after a while. "firstly, i'm sorry i didn't know about the qt-pi thing. i would've just left with you to go somewhere else," he began slowly. he then took a breath. "and... i feel a lot of the things you feel too," he admitted, looking down at his hands. "but i want to be sure first. you told me, back then, it was selfish of my ex to agree to date without knowing his feelings, and i don't want to do that to you." he paused, feeling as if his heart was bursting at the seams. "because you mean so much to me, and i'd never want to see you hurt again. because you deserve to be happy, and i want to be sure i can do that for you."

he still wasn't completely sure, but the answer seemed clearer than it had been last week, it gave jeongin a little more hope, a little more courage. "can you wait for me, please?" he asked minho. "just a little longer."

@yang jeongin jeongin with a few drinks in his system was also a very curious person, it seemed. he's sure if they drank together he'd ask just as many questions, but minho was sober, currently paying the price for all the times that he had previously flustered the younger. "if i liked you because you were mysterious, then i'd like a lot of people, innie." minho fell silent again, the only sound being heard over the hum of his car being the 'click' of his blinkers right before he made a turn.

"truthfully, i could go on and on about why i like you. you're a kind person, you make me laugh, and you make me want to spend more time with you. i've never been too much of a social butterfly, but i found myself going to different parties, different events, just because i knew you would be there," he paused to laugh, eyebrows scrunching up. "i even broke my own rule about never stepping foot in the qt-pi sorority ever again, just so that i could see you at that sleepover." at the time, minho had major anxiety about ever being back inside the sorority, considering that was the same one his first girlfriend had picked years prior. but for jeongin, he was more than willing to do it again. "i just... i've never met somebody that makes me feel so content in my world of constant stress. it's like you're the one thing that calms me down, or that reminds me to take care of myself and i actually do it because now i have a reason to, aside from the obvious."

@lee minho this time around, jeongin could actually appreciate the joke, letting out a giggle. he had loosened up a little and his brain had finally re-discovered its ability to process minho's teasing tone.

silence followed soon after jeongin had asked his question. it hung heavily in the air within the car, and it weighed upon jeongin's heart. he really shouldn't have said that. he didn't have the right to, asking for answers when he hadn't even given one of his own. he wanted to tell minho that he didn't have to answer, but then minho spoke again. minho spoke softly, but jeongin took in each and every quiet word. unlike what minho said, even in his clouded mind, jeongin did understand what minho was saying. "no, i get it. i want to know you, and about you, all the time," he said after a while. but it was this understanding, rather than confusion, that begged more questions, questions that jeongin couldn't stop himself from asking. "but is that why you like me? because i'm more... mysterious?" he asked genuinely, looking down at his fingers. it felt cruel to ask minho about his feelings, but perhaps in the long run, it would be less cruel if jeongin could figure out his feelings sooner. and, twiddling his thumbs, the younger hoped that minho's answer could help with just that.

@yang jeongin "more than a couple, huh?" minho repeated, feigning surprise yet his grin only spread wider. jeongin was definitely a more truthful jeongin when he's been drinking, maybe more than what he knew the younger would have liked when he was sober. "if i came a minute later than expected, you probably would've downed a bottle of vodka, or something."

another giggle left his lips, shaking his head in disagreement, a chorus of childish 'no's leaving his mouth until it eventually died down again. minho was lucky they had stopped at another light, jeongin's sudden statement nearly causing his brain to panic. "i," he trailed off once he started speaking. he... didn't know what to say. for the first time in a while, he was left without words. "i don't know. i guess it just bothers me that i don't ever really know what you're thinking," he began answering truthfully, albeit a bit quieter than his regular speaking town. it wasn't like jeongin would remember this tomorrow, anyways. maybe he'd feel better after talking about his emotions that way. "nobody in the world will ever truly know what somebody else thinks, but at least with other people it's easier to get an idea. i don't hate it or anything, though. that just means there's more for me to learn about you." minho paused, breathing a laugh out his nose. "sorry. that made no sense."

@lee minho a pout immediately formed on jeongin's face as he turned to minho, his childish pride ready to defend itself. "hey, it wasn't just a couple..." jeongin trailed off again, remembering that he had told minho he wouldn't be drinking much. jeongin bit the inside of his cheek, punishing his mouth for moving faster than his brain.

minho focusing on his driving made for a good opportunity for jeongin to look at the other. jeongin wondered if minho actually understood his rambling, the expression on minho's face not giving away much. but it then gave way to a look more of amusement, and jeongin's thoughts were pushed aside. "i did not walk like that," he denied, albeit without much conviction as a deeper shade of red coloured his cheeks. had jeongin always been this open of a book for minho to read? "i still don't get what you meant when you said you couldn't figure me out," he blurted out as soon as their conversation at the boba cafe came to mind. all his past conversations with minho had been on jeongin's mind recently, after all. "i don't know, you just see through me so easily, even now."

@yang jeongin if it were any other day, minho would've erupted into laughter. okay, maybe jeongin was a little bit further than tipsy. he shoved his bottom lip between his teeth in an attempt to further stifle his amusement, though he realized very quickly that he was unable to hold in a few stray giggles. "you're definitely how i expected you would be after a couple of drinks." minho shifted up in his seat when they got to a red light, fighting the urge to take in his best friend beside him for the second time.

guilty. that was the only feeling that he could identify other than the obvious that had settled in his system. it wasn't because of his confession, right? there was no way minho was that important to jeongin that he affected him this much. or maybe it was because he had proven himself wrong, having successfully ruined their friendship. minho gripped the wheel tighter, trying not to lose himself to his thoughts again. "you're not drunk," he repeated, clearly amused. "so you've always walked like a baby deer and i've just never noticed?"

@lee minho jeongin reached over for the seatbelt, using all his focus to aim the tongue into the buckle, before there was the satisfactory 'click' sound. as the car began moving, jeongin reminded himself that things wouldn't be so hard as long as he focused. tipsy jeongin was a little too gullible and a little bit too obvious with his concern for minho, so he immediately turned his head at minho's initial answer. "wait, what, why did your class..." he began, but trailed off as minho told him the truth. embarrassed, jeongin looked forward again.

jeongin hummed in content as he listened to minho. minho ate dinner. that was good. jeongin then hummed again, this time in thought at minho's question. "it was pretty fun but, i don't know, not as fun as parties usually are," he said with a shrug. "i was hoping if i drank a bit more, it would get better, and i guess it sort of worked but sort of didn't." maybe because every time he poured something in his cup, he thought about how minho would've reminded him to slow down, which then led to him thinking about why his heart both ached and fluttered at the thought. jeongin shook off this thought again, as he had throughout the night. "i'm not drunk, though," he felt the need to clarify.

@yang jeongin he nearly slapped a hand over his face watching jeongin walk towards the car, it being very obvious that he had drunk more than what he claimed he would. if his car wasn't already so close, he's sure he would've gotten out to help him walk, just incase. it was to be expected that he had a few, of course, minho finally getting the chance to see the drunk jeongin he about all these months. or maybe he was just tipsy?

"hi jeongin," he responded back just as gentle, offering a smile of his own to the younger. it shouldn't have came as a surprise, but jeongin looked handsome tonight, as he usually did; this time around his attire was different than what he usually sported. "of course, any time." minho bit back on complimenting him, nerves only worsening from simply sharing the same oxygen in the car as jeongin. "no, i came from my last class of the day," he teased, starting to drive in the direction of their campus. "yes, i was at home. just finished eating dinner when you text me. did you have fun?"

@lee minho minho's voice grabbed jeongin's attention better than any text notification would have, and the younger turned his head to see minho's rather dramatised motion. like something of classical conditioning, he immediately broke into a smile. jeongin's feet seemed to move on its own towards the car while his brain lagged behind, forgetting to put effort into walking straight.

it took a few semi-wobbly steps before his brain caught up, and all the nerves about meeting minho again, came flooding back. jeongin still didn't have an answer. the thought sobered him up slightly, and he put more thought into each step. hand hovering over the handle, jeongin took a breath before opening the door. "hi, minho," he said softly, a small smile still naturally forming on his face. he quickly slid into the passenger seat and continued, "thank you for coming to pick me up." looking at minho directly was proving to be a little too difficult, so jeongin quickly followed up with a question as he looked out the windshield. his mouth always seemed to move faster than his brain when he was tipsy. "you came from your apartment?"

@yang jeongin minho would be lying if he said he wasn't anxious. it's been at least a week since his confession, and though he's been playing it cool with his friend (or maybe he wasn't? maybe he was still so ing obvious), he had enough nerves to rival the last time he had seen jeongin in person. his phone vibrating pulled him from his thoughts, car slowing as he approached the unfamiliar apartment building his gps had brought him to. this was the right one, right? minho brought his phone into his palm, checking the address he was sent again until finally reading the text from jeongin that just arrived. he quickly typed a response but before he sent it, he caught the figure of somebody in his peripheral, to which he looked up for the second time since he got there.

. why was his heart racing again? god was being cruel today, wasn't he? swallowing his worries, minho quickly rolled the window down and unlocked his doors. "jeongin!" he called out from his car, waving his hand rather dramatically for somebody that wasn't practically right next to the boy.

@lee minho the cold night air gave jeongin some relief from the warm air he had been spending the last few hours in. no more of the thumping music, no more of the laughter and chit-chat of his senior's friends, ever since the alarm jeongin set on his phone rang. (he hadn't wanted to keep minho waiting, after all.) still, the lightheadness remained, and jeongin only realised how bad it was when he actually had to /walk/ the whole distance from his senior's apartment down to the car park below. however, if jeongin tried his best, he could still walk in a straight line, which he did because he was meeting minho, and he continued to do so as he tried to look for a familiar car. jeongin stopped in his tracks, the floor still swaying a little beneath him, to pull out his phone. he typed, double and triple checked for no typos or any other clues that might give away his current state, before he sent his message to let minho know he was here.

@lee minho he sighed as minho pulled away, hands and heart too empty for his liking, yet his own hands released the other as well. he watched minho turn away, watched as the elder's silhouette in the hallway slowly became smaller, and watched until minho was completely out of sight. then, and only then, did jeongin close the door. he turned off the light and climbed back onto his bed, searching for a warmth that his blanket simply couldn't mimic. he stared at the ceiling, then tried closing his eyes, but either way, the only thing he saw was minho's face. within the four walls of his room, jeongin was left alone with the question: what exactly did he feel for minho?

@yang jeongin maybe he had added more fuel to the fire by holding him, but at that moment he needed this hug to make it home. everything was gonna be fine, he had even told jeongin that, but why was his anxiety overwhelming him as if it wouldn't be? minho closed his eyes, resisting the urge to breathe out a heavy sigh as he finally released jeongin after what seemed like several minutes. wordlessly he nodded, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he turned around. it took everything to stop himself from tearing up while he left jeongin, to drown in his own thoughts in his own home.

@lee minho the back view of minho leaving his room had never made jeongin's heart ache so much, and jeongin wished he could give the other a hug. not because minho was weak in his eyes, but rather because jeongin couldn't bear to see someone so strong hurt like this. as minho turned to face him, the sight of minho's expression made jeongin waver. but before he could act on anything, jeongin was enveloped in minho's warmth. just like all those times before, jeongin's hands naturally went to minho's back, returning the hug. in that moment, things felt like they would be okay. "good night, minho," he whispered. this time, jeongin didn't want to be the one to let go first.

@yang jeongin his hand turned the door knob, still shaking with anxiety he was sure would take hours to get rid of once he returned home. he hated feeling so weak. it would be even worse if jeongin thought the same thing about him. minho turned to face jeongin once he had stepped outside the door and into the dormitory hallway, nodding slowly. "see you soon." something stopped him from completely leaving and as if on instinct, minho pulled jeongin into his arms for a gentle hug. "good night."

@lee minho jeongin nodded, both the silence and bittersweet words unbearable. "i will," he said, meaning it fully. seeing minho get up, jeongin clambered out of his bed too, wanting to see minho out, even if his room was tiny enough for jeongin to see minho leave from the bed. looking up, he saw minho's smile, and he tried to do the same. although, like minho's, jeongin's smile didn't seem to reach his eyes. he didn't want minho to leave, but jeongin knew there was no other choice. "drive safe, and text me when you get home," jeongin said carefully, doing his best to keep the smile on his face. "i'll see you soon."

@yang jeongin "a one-time thing," minho repeated, teasing him further by saying it rather unconvincingly. at least he was able to make jeongin laugh, able to make him feel just a little better. that was all that he cared about. yet, his victory was short lived, for things still felt off. the suspicion was only confirmed once jeongin had pulled his hand back and they sat in further silence that wasn't their usual type. it was to be expected, minho had even anticipated it, but that didn't make it any easier on him.

he grasped his own hand loosely, in hopes of savoring the warmth jeongin had left him with. "you do that. let me know if you like it later." there was another silence until minho decided he was probably overstaying his welcome. "well, uh, i'm gonna head home. i have some classes in the morning and i don't want to keep you up, or anything." minho forced a wider smile, pushing himself up on his feet. he, too, needed some time to think, time to reflect on what he'd be doing from now on.

@lee minho every single thing minho was doing was making jeongin's heart throb, but he couldn't really understand why. jeongin's brain was already having a hard time processing the fact that someone as good, someone as nice as minho liked him. hearing minho's joke, a short huff of air left jeongin's nose in place of an actual laugh, but it was followed shortly by a sniffle. "you're horrible," he tried to say as firmly as he could, before slowly moving his head away from minho's body. "this is just a one-time thing," he said, brave enough to crack a joke, but not enough to look straight at minho.

gently, jeongin removed his hand from minho's. he missed minho's warmth as soon as their hands separated, and he knew he would be missing this warmth for quite a while. but he steeled himself; he didn't want to make it any harder for minho. uncomfortable silence in minho's presence was unfamiliar to jeongin, and he paused for a while before saying, "i'll drink the milk tea boba well."

@yang jeongin the sound of jeongin sobbing was equivalent to the feeling of a butcher knife stabbing through minho's heart. did he feel guilty? and if he did, why? jeongin had truly done no wrong. minho could've wracked his brain for several minutes, trying to find an answer like he did for everything else, a reason, but he very quickly chalked it up to the reasoning not mattering at the moment. what mattered was him comforting jeongin. he remained silent yet his fingers didn't stop their movements, still running through the darkened strands of his friend's hair soothingly. "no, thank you for listening."

minho wanted to wrap himself fully around jeongin, to feel the warmth of him in his arms in an attempt to reassure him better, but he figured that would be too overwhelming; for the both of them. so he'd settle with their current position, hands still loosely holding each other's. "you know," he started gently after another beat of silence, hoping to lighten the mood. "this is totally not helping you beat those crybaby allegations."

@lee minho minho's small gesture was all it took for jeongin to unravel, quiet sobs escaping him into minho's shoulder. he hadn't wanted to since he really didn't have a reason to, but he couldn't hide anything from minho. minho just did everything right, always knowing what to do, what to say to make everything feel okay for jeongin. and jeongin wished so desperately that he could do the same for minho at that moment. he swore that he would, eventually, soon. it was hard not to say 'sorry' when jeongin felt it so deeply in his heart, for so many things. still, he wanted to trust minho's words that he had nothing to be sorry for. jeongin would trust minho's words that they would still be friends no matter what, because it was minho, who would never lie to him. so, jeongin instead said, "thank you."

slowly but surely, jeongin's breathing steadied, following the rhythm of minho's fingers in his hair. perhaps jeongin should have pulled away sooner and let minho go, but he would let himself be selfish, just for today.

@yang jeongin minho wasn't even sure if he believed in a god, that there was somebody in the sky overseeing everything with undeniable power and insight. if there was, and he was desperately hoping so, he prayed that jeongin couldn't feel the slight shake in his own body. he was trying so hard to be strong, yet he wasn't sure it was for himself or for the younger sitting beside him. it's been well over a year since minho last had to deal with emotions like this, love being the one thing he swore off until he thought was absolutely necessary. yet here he was again, spilling everything he tried so desperately to hide from jeongin, everything he thought he could hide to save their relationship.

"and i'll give you all the time that you need, i promise there's no rush. even if you never gave me an answer, i'd still be here for you just the same." without thinking, minho pulled jeongin closer, resting the other's head against his shoulder and using that same hand to run his fingers through his hair gently. "of course we're still friends, i'd never let anything get in between us," he reassured, voice just above a whisper.

he wouldn't let anything get in between their friendship, even if that meant he had to shove his own feelings down for jeongin's happiness.

@lee minho "oh," jeongin could only say at minho's answer, slowly piecing together the puzzle pieces from their time together. all the nice things he said, all this while, and jeongin hadn't had a clue. he felt a flutter in his chest, but as quickly as it came, jeongin felt sick. he couldn't even give minho a proper answer, yet there he was, selfishly feeling happy about being minho's object of affection.

minho's little squeeze helped to quell the feeling in jeongin's stomach slightly. minho's words brought him some comfort, as they always did, but at the same time, they also brought about a wave of emotions in his chest. jeongin could only imagine how minho must have been feeling, his heart now out in the open. but because it was minho, even then, he still took care of jeongin. god, jeongin was so ing selfish.

jeongin bit his trembling lip as he nodded, looking at the smile of an angel; he couldn't cry and be more selfish than he already was. "i just need some time to think," he said quietly. head lowered, he continued, "we're still friends... right?" jeongin again knew it was selfish, wanting to keep this friendship when it would be hard for minho, but he couldn't help it. he shook his head, loosening his grip on minho's hand, yet not willing to release it entirely. "i'll give you an answer soon, i promise."

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@yang jeongin minho sat in their silence, though it definitely wasn't comfortable. it was as if the second he said it, he almost wished that he hadn't, the fear of making the younger uneasy gnawing at him worse than ever. yet, he still felt hopeful; by now, jeongin definitely would have pulled himself back, maybe even have moved away from him. he almost couldn't hear jeongin talking again over the sound of his own heart, that was thrashing wildly against his chest.

"yes, i've been talking about you," he answered in a smaller voice, one that he almost didn't recognize, usually overflowing with feigned confidence. in that moment, listening to jeongin speak, he fully decided that no matter what was said, he wasn't going to let it get in the way of their friendship. honestly, minho wasn't even expecting an immediate response, let alone one at all, having weighed every outcome he could thing of in his brain for weeks on end.

'it's not that i don't like you,' the words echoed so much in his brain he had to shake his head to get rid of them. "hey," he finally answered, giving jeongin a gentle squeeze. "that's okay. i didn't tell you this expecting you to say you liked me back or anything. i just felt that it was important to say something because we're friends first, before anything." even if his heart was aching, even if he felt like he was drowning sitting in front of somebody he found himself caring deeply about, he still offered a smile; though nervous and small, it was a genuine one. "you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, innie. everything's fine, yeah?"