┋apt 124

@ᵒ kim jungsu. [] night night bby uwu sleep well when you do!! Take your time bub

@ᵇ kwak jiseok. [good go eep! night night! i will reply to this later]

@ᵒ kim jungsu. [] foul of you to make me go eep :cc but fiiine rhfsdh i cant barely hold my eyes open :sob: they can continue tomorrow uwu

@ᵒ kim jungsu. *tilts my head slightly, taking in your words with a thoughtful expression* it’s just because I’m scared I’m pressuring you so I take a step back. But it’s dumb and I won’t do that anymore now that I know it’s what you want too *an amused smile tugs at my* A dominance thing, huh? What do you mean exactly? *chuckles softly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze* or maybe it’s just us figuring out how we fit together, what works for us. It’s not a bad thing, you know. We’re learning each other in real time. *my expression softens at your words, a warmth spreading in my chest* You have no idea how much I want that too… just to be close, to hold you and forget about everything else for a while. *shifts a little closer, my voice quieter, more sincere* I know things get crazy, but moments like this… you and me, just us… that’s what I want the most. The softness, the comfort. I want you to always want me too.

@ᵇ kwak jiseok. []go eep :[

@ᵇ kwak jiseok. mmm -nods once- I can't think of any specific situation but sometimes I feel I try to be a little more step forward but then... I don't know, I feel like it doesn't always work... uh -frowns, looking up to the side as realization hits and then back at you- it's probably a dominance thing?? yeah it's like that...or at least that's how I feel it...I could be wrong...
I know I want you, right now? I want to snuggle with you in bed, I always want to be so close to you as physically possible... -tilts my head with a smile of my own and nods- yeah just the two of us, everything is always so chaotic, I just wanted this

@ᵒ kim jungsu. If you need me to clarify even though I’ve said it before, I like you a lot. More than friends. But I don’t want to pressure you into anything. I’m content with whatever you’re comfortable with or taking it slow and figuring things out together okay? You don’t need to feel like we should rush or jump into anything, so get that out of your head. I’m going to like you regardless. I kissed you because I like you. [bby if I don’t respond it’s because I fell asleep fhgsfj]

@ᵒ kim jungsu. With what I really want? *blinks at you in surprise* I want whatever you’re comfortable with, hyung. You can always approach me wym?? *my free hand moves to tilt your head downwards to meet my gaze* what is it that you /think/ I want? Actually… are you still figuring out what /you/ want? *tilts my head slightly in question* we can figure things out together if you want? It doesn’t have to be rushed right now. You know I’m never afraid to give a direct answer when you ask me something right? *I can’t hide the smile from widening, eyes bright at your admission* a moment like this? Where we’re talking?

@ᵇ kwak jiseok. I sometimes...get confused with what you really want, I don't know exactly how to approach you ah...
-facepalms and rubs my face embarrassed- but I guess that falls into the "let's figure it out" box... -continues playing with your fingers and looks up when you smile at me, making me smile back with my heart skipping a beat- mmh, let's take our time... and... I honestly, had be dying to have a moment like this with you, just us -repeats-

@ᵒ kim jungsu. *listens intently, my grip on your hand tightening slightly as I take in your words* I get it… really, I do. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to rush anything or force yourself to be okay when you’re not. *shifts closer, my thumb brushing over the back of your hand* It’s okay to be scared, to have doubts. But what matters is that we’re here, that we’re talking about it instead of letting it pull us apart. *offers you a small, reassuring smile* I like you too, and that hasn’t changed. It won’t change just because things get tough or confusing. So… let’s take our time, yeah? One step at a time, no pressure. Just us.

@ᵇ kwak jiseok. it feels like we jumped into an ice bath first and then I got... scared to dip my feet in the kiddie pool if that makes sense? -scratches my cheek with my free hand and sighs, looking around- so I feel I need to do this right... -returns my gaze back at you and smiles softly- I like you, Jiseok... I know I said it before but, I really do -takes a deep breath, squeezing your hand- I...like you and I got scared at times, thinking if it was too sudden or too much. I still think about it and that's why I fall into this pit of self doubt...and that added to me feeling like earlier...on top of everything that was happening at the same time

@ᵒ kim jungsu. *nods my head in understanding, smiling softly* No no you’re entirely valid for that. And let me just go ahead and say that there’s no pressure to rush or do anything you’re not ready for. I’m very content with your presence regardless.

@ᵇ kwak jiseok. I know - there's nothing to hide anymore...we both like each other but I feel it's been so messy and confusing
I need to put my thoughts and feelings in order... -smiles, looking at our hands and wiggling my fingers a little-

@ᵒ kim jungsu. *watches you carefully with big eyes before crawling onto the bed next to you, intertwining our fingers* sure hyung, I’m all ears.

@ᵇ kwak jiseok. nothing is wrong... I just wanted to be away from people and I guess...talk?
-closes the door behind us and sits on the middle of the bed-

@ᵒ kim jungsu. *follows you easily* what’s wrong hyung? Are you okay?

@ᵇ kwak jiseok. -holds your hand, guiding you into my room-