➱Han River Park

@† Meto [] Oh. right. I'm sorry. I thought it was panda initially because I have not seen yet that kind of headband but I'm looking on Google now and it's just like a head of a penguin on a headband with ears on the side. Hahaha! Also, can we move to the actual Amusement Park room?

@‡ Hyungwon () penguinn not panda although i was thinking about panda first coincidentally haha

@† Meto Tornado?
/frowns a bit and purses/
Isn't that teacup? I mean, the teacup can be spun around too, like hell fast.
/chuckles softly and waits happily and smiles as you pull out a panda headband/
Alrighty. Hmmm. . . .
/squints my eyes as I finally spots it/
Here you go.
/gives you a tiger headband/
That suits you so well. I have a reason why I picked that out but you might kill me.
/chuckles softly, heads to the counter and pays for both, puts on mine/
What do you think? Is it good?
/smiles softly/

@‡ Hyungwon /sees your bright smile and relaxes a little, returning it with a smile of my own/
Hmm... the one which twists you in all directions while spinning quickly... tornado? /tries to open the flyer I grabbed from the employee that has a map of the park on it, but with one hand it's a bit difficult so I end up just shaking it about till it opens and then lifts the map up to you/ Here!
Ah /follows you to the merchandise store/
/laughs lightly and grins at how excited you get/
/purses my lips in thought as I peruse the options available/
Hm...... /pulls out the penguin headband/
This one! /Looks at you
...Now you pick

@† Meto /keeps repeating the word baby steps in my head, trying to be my carefree self now that we're inside the park, the atmosphere helping a bit as I'm now getting excited/
Eo? Fast rides? Sure. I don't really mind. Which one do you want to ride first?
/smiles brightly/
Also, I'm not sure if we tried it last time but I wanna get those stupidly large animal headbands.
/chuckles and gently pulls you with me to the merchandise store/
What do you think would suit me?
/looks around, my eyes almost sparkling as I really looooove amusement parks and I feel like a kid whenever I'm in this place, walks to the rack of animal headbands and looks at you/
You can pick mine. I don't mind whichever animal it is.
/chuckles softly/

@‡ Hyungwon /nods/ Mhm, baby steps. /I can see you're nervous, I am too, worried, but I won't let myself break my promise no matter what; and I'm incredibly stubborn/
/looks down at your hands when you take mine in yours and smiles at you nervously, shyly/
/walks with you and is about to release your hand to let the employee put the tags on us but when you show no sign of letting go of my hand, I stop myself/
/walks in with you, biting down on the inside of my cheek
The... I forgot, do you go on fast rides, or not?

@† Meto /as you moved your hands and around me, I just let you be and once you're done, I didn't expect for you to look at me like that but I held your gaze in mine, staring at you/
Uhmm. . . an hour?
/watches as you set the timer from your phone, takes a deep breath contemplating if I should really go with your idea because I'm worried I might do some irreparable damage but as I can see how serious you are, I nodded/
Sure. I won't hold back. We can try this. Baby steps.
/smiles a bit and tries to brace myself mentally and emotionally for what's about to happen and to shake off this feeling of nervousness, I close the door behind me and lock the car, starting off lightly, take your hand in mine and entwined our fingers as I walk towards the entrance of the park, picking out VIP whole day passes for us and lets the guy put the tag on the wrists of our clasped hands/
So. . . where to first?
/smiles softly/

@‡ Hyungwon /your reassurances fall on deaf ears, maybe you mean it, but I know I'm the one who should be sorry
/I'm not letting you move on properly, but I'm not giving you what you want either
/my hands sink from your neck to your shoulders, I pull one back, the one with the cigarette and turn away from you as I finish it off
/as the nicotine fills my lungs and enters my blood the world quiets
/several seconds pass after you finish speaking when I flick the cigarette bud onto the ground and turn back to you/
Alright. /looks straight you, much calmer than before thanks to the drug/
.... /stares at you in thought/
Just for now, just for an hour... don't hold anything back or check in about anything. I swear I won't run away, no matter what. /takes out my phone, sets a timer, and shows it to you/
Just for one hour, and then you need to reign it back in again. Can we try it?

@† Meto /as you pushed yourself past me, I felt my heart sink down to my stomach as I know that my fear had finally come true and I have no one and nothing to blame but myself, letting out a deep breath and biting my lip as I anxiously gave you space as you smoked not too far from the car, I waited for you to come back and wasn't expecting your next move when you did/
I-I. . . you don't have to apologize. You have nothing to apologize for, Meto. If anything. I should be the one doing that. Had I not come into your life, you'd still feel better and not have to think about all the unnecessary stuff about me. . .
/mutters softly and upon hearing your question, my eyes widen a bit as I shake my head/
No. That's not the case. . .
/trails off because this exact moment just reminds me of what happened before when I got blackout drunk and blamed you for the hurt that I was feeling back then/
I'm sorry. . . I shouldn't have said those words back then but you're not hurting me. You've gone through so much and it might take some time, a long time, before you're able to move past what happened or not at all but I just kept pushing back then.
/lets out a deep breath/
Rather than being hurt right now, it's more of I'm being careful now with my actions and what I say and I'm okay with that. I'd prefer to check in with you if what I'm doing is okay rather than just go for it and risk to make you feel uncomfortable. I don't mind being uncomfortable, being in an unfavorable situation and position but not you. No. I don't want that to happen and I won't let it happen. I'm so sorry if I ruined your mood today. . .
/leans against the passenger seat as the door is still open, looks down as I fiddle with my fingers/

@‡ Hyungwon /surprised when you take my hand in yours, but lets you, apprehensively
/kind of curious when you say you need to try not to pounce on me, but I push indecent thoughts back... for now
/stares at you wide-eyed, my surprise growing with each sentence
/I knew you probably still had a thing for me but... I never expected...
/starts feeling uncomfortable when you nuzzle against my hand
/I tuck my free hand under my thigh and pinch the bare skin between my fingers, the pain helps me manage the absolute rollercoaster of feelings inside me, at least a little
/you release my hand and I... abruptly stand up and push past you, feeling incredibly guilty while doing so
/thankfully the edge of the parking lot is close and I come to a stop there, quickly light up a cigarette and take a long drag/
/nothing is more effective than nicotine to calm a raging mess of feelings
/there are so many things I want to say to you and yet as usual, I can't say anything
/half a cigarette later I've calmed down enough to return to you; the stick dangling between two fingers I reach up and cup your neck with both hands, my fingers extending into your hair and onto your jaw

I'm so sorry /chokes out, my voice far more unstable than I'd hoped; '!', curses in my mind and steps on my own fight in an attempt to get it together/
/I don't know how to tell you that maybe, I'm not sure, somehow, perhaps, I do like you too but... just not in a way I'm familiar with, and the past weeks I've been carefully feeling my way forward, taking one tiny step at a time; but I just don't know what's going on with me, because this, you, it's completely new territory for me; oh, and then there's the fact that I'm terrified of losing people, and it's easier not to lose anyone if I never had them in the first place/
/so, to summarise, you're absolutely right, all of this is very, very scary for me; I am trying in my own way but I'm not ready yet and I hate that I can't just flip a switch and 'be normal'/

I keep hurting you? /says with a pained smile; it's a revelation, and a timid question/

@† Meto /when you stayed in your seat, I stood there by the door and gently moved you around to face me, just gently playing with your fingers in mine as I look down at your hands/
Well. . . I do. I really do. You don't know how much patience it takes me to just not pounce on you. You look so cute when you grin, when you smile, when you get all playful, and I like it so much too when you cuddle up to me, and I want to hold you tight. . . freely. . . but I'm just. . . scared that if I become too much with the affection, you'll be all flustered and like, get scared again. I don't want that. . .
/lets out a deep breath, takes your hand in mine and nuzzles my cheek against it/
And I just want to be careful because I know that you don't like me romantically, I have accepted that but I really, seriously, and wholeheartedly don't want to make you feel uncomfortable because I still feel something for you but know that if you're okay with me reciprocating your touches, I will respect your boundaries to not go overboard and be all over you or whatnot. I just. . . I'm doing my best to keep you in my life, even if we are just friends. I'm perfectly fine with that.
/pulls my cheek away from your hand and smiling at this point as I look at you again, finally feeling way better since I've been keeping all of these thoughts in my head ever since we started hanging out again these past few weeks/

@‡ Hyungwon /stares at you while you explain, not interrupting as I try to understand but my confusion grows
/bites the inside of my cheek when you bring up why I pulled away list time
/leans back into my seat, both hands to myself now, frowning slightly as I think about what you said
/looks back at you in silence and just listens again
...
/looks down into my lap, then up when I hear the door open
/I don't stand up to get out of the car and just look up at you
So... you don't want me to do things like that...? Or you do? /genuinely confused and it shows on my face; also I feel guilty that I'm making you walk on eggshells around me/
I don't understand... why does me touching you as I did make you worry about all those things? /lord knows I'm an expert at engaging in ual activities without attaching any romantic feelings to it, so I simply do not understand how me touching you in the car would make you scared that you'll..... be too forward with your feelings and scare me off/

@† Meto N-No. . . not that. . .
/bites my lip, and keeps driving, trying to articulate as much as I could/
If I speak, I'll make things awkward. . . and that's what I'm worried what might scare you away. . .
/lets out a deep breath/
You didn't go too far. I should've really gotten over it but. . . I still carry that torch for you, just like last year.
/purses my lips/
A-And we talked about it, remember? That, uhmm, me being so forward with how I feel caused you to pull away. . .
/stops at a parking spot in front of the amusement park/
Uhmm. . . I just. . . if you keep touching me and doing things like that, I'm kinda worried that I might do the same mistake. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy how we interact these days, and that your comfortable again around me, I just. . . I don't want to ruin that. . .
/lets out a deep breath/
But then again, I really should just control myself. . .
/eyesmile, rubbing my nape/
Sorry about that. I'm not blaming you whatsoever, this is all on me.
/takes a deep breath and lets it out as if it's a way to calm myself down and collect my thoughts, shakes my head for a second/
What a way to dampen the mood, I hope you don't think about this too much and just uhmm, let's enjoy the day.
/smiles softly and hops off the car, goes around and opens the door for you/

@‡ Hyungwon /my hand stops, brows jumping up in surprise as I look at you
Scare me away? With what? An ?
/looks at you not understanding
/I do slide my hand back to your thigh though because I don't want us to crash
/gives your thigh a squeeze
Sorry, I guess I went too far

@† Meto Y-Yeah. . . that'll be nice too. . .
/chews down on my lip but lets out a deep breath as you moved your hand down my thigh again/
I should've been more careful. . .
/mutters softly and just when I thought your hand will stay where it is, I then felt it slide up again on my thigh and up to my crotch, trying my best to not say or do anything stupid or rash/
Yeah. . . s-see what we can—
/finally lets out a soft whine as you start to rub your palm against my crotch/
M-Meto. . . I'm trying my best t-to not scare you away. . . please. . .
/bites my lip yet again and rests my forehead against the steering wheel and pulls away to start driving again, letting out a shuddered breath and trying my very best to just keep still and focus on driving but all of your touches is just starting to drive me crazy since I never really slept with anyone last year and this year too, we almost slept together but nothing really happened other than kisses and make out sessions/

@‡ Hyungwon Mhm the cub.. it'll be nice to.. see it again? Is that what you're trying to say? /purrs in amusement/
/chuckles at your denial
/when you break a little too hard I slide my hand back to your thigh and run my nails up and down over your pants slowly/
That's alright, Hyun
/watches you turn on the AC and bites down a laugh because your intent is obvious/
Let's just.. /slides my hand back and ghosts my palm over your crotch/
See what there is, see what we can do /rubs over your bulge slowly, palming it; I can feel it's started to swell

@† Meto /tries to stay focused on the road as you respond to me/
Uhmm. . . your. . . uhh. . .
/clears my throat as I can now feel your fingertips caress up my inner thigh and closer to my crotch/
So, uhmm, the cub, yeah, it'll be nice to—
/grips tighter on the steering wheel, slowly loosening my grip as I take a deep breath and exhales, letting out a shuddered one, feeling my pants tighten but trying my very best to not do anything stupid/
I-I'm not. . . I'm fine. . .
/as we reached an intersection, the second I felt you firmly squeeze my crotch, I stepped on the breaks a tad harder than I normally would and immediately turned to you/
I-I'm so sorry about that. . . I just, uhmm, got startled. . .
/tries to laugh it off but mine came out rather awkward as I'm feeling nervous for some reason/
Do you have any other animals you want to see? Or rides that you want to try later?
/smiles, reaches for the AC control and turns it up even more, making sure it's blowing on my face

@‡ Hyungwon /my lips pull up into a pleased smirk at your immediate reaction
/ah how it makes me want to tease you more....
Yeah? /my hands drifts a little higher, my fingertips teasingly caressing your thigh just next to your crotch/
That would be nice... /speaking very casually while my fingers 'accidentally' inch forward to rub over your crotch/
/chuckles airily
You're so red Hyun... stay focused on the road, hm? /reaches over a little more so I can give your bulge a firm squeeze

@† Meto It really is.
/smiles softly, glances at you and turns my eyes on the road again, I was just about to take a right turn when I then felt your hand on my thigh, trying to ignore it yet my face says otherwise as I can feel it heat up, and as you squeezed it, I gulped hard and gripped the steering wheel/
Uhmm. . . Meto?
/tries to just focus on driving/
W-We'll visit the. . . uhh. . . cub. Yeah. . . later. . .
/feels my neck heat up as well as my ears, already regretting that I always react like this because I know for a fact that my face is now red/

@‡ Hyungwon /grins at the compliment and does a twirl cause I'm in a good mood/
Nice, right? I like it too
/walks with you to the car, humming a tune softly on the way
/laughs faintly when you open the door as usual and gets in
/fastens my seatbelt and crosses one leg over the other, looking at you as you drive us
Ah- yeah, let's go again. I want to try feeding the cub again.
... /gets a spontaneous idea and slides my hand onto your thigh, giving it a light squeeze
/trails it up your thigh slowly; curious how you'll react

@† Meto /when you get up from the couch, I also took that time to get dressed in my room, putting on something simple this time and just lets my hair down, takes my sling bag with me, and goes back to the living room, arranging the pillows back and turning the TV off/
/once I see you walking back to the living room, I got up from the couch and smiles/
You're the only one I know that can pull off such outfit.
/smiles and leads us out of the apartment, locking it behind us and towards the elevator then the parking lot, opens the door for you and hops in the driver's seat and starts to back out of the spot and towards the exit then the main road/
By the way, uhmm, do you still like tiger cubs? You liked it last time, I'm just wondering if you'd like to visit them again.
/keeps driving, not bothering to look at the navigation since I know the way going to the amusement park/

@‡ Hyungwon Mhm /nods
But I'm not watching that... live action always s it up
/stays silent throughout the show, completely engrossed until you jump up
/visibly flinches, staring at you in surprise and then laughs lightly when I catch on to the beeping sound
/watches you walk off to what I assume is the washing machine, keeps looking where you are when you take longer than expected
/sits up when you return
Mkay /glances at the screen, finding it difficult to tear myself away from the anime even though I've already watched all of it before, but, I manage
/gets up with a lazy sigh, takes my clothes and goes back to your bedroom
/changes out of your clothes I'd borrowed, your very loose, comfortable, easy to take on and off clothes, and puts my clothes on... my very tight, intricate clothes that take forever to wear
/I'm not in a rush though, so a good 30 minutes later I walk back to you in my intricate patent leather boots, shorts, corset over long-sleeved mesh; all black, patent leather; I've done my hair into a french braid and reapplied my makeup using what I carry with me: lipstick, mascara, eyeliner, concealer/
I'm ready let's go! /excited now that I've dressed up, dressing up is the most enjoyable part of my day

@† Meto /lets you pick the next show and glances up for a moment/
Oh. Yeah. I heard of that. They made a live action of that right? I just saw the clips where they are playing with cards or something.
/chuckles softly, keeps watching with you and just letting you be comfortable, unsure if I should speak or whatnot but decides against it later on and just watches with you, finding the anime pretty interesting, it was already halfway the show when I almost jumped off the couch when a beeping sound came from the laundry room/
Oh god!
/lets out a deep breath/
I really should have that changed or something. Always gets me.
/excuses myself and goes to fetch your clothes, steams it for a few minutes to remove any wrinkles on it and comes back with them/
Your clothes are dry, Meto. I'll wait here.
/smiles, sits back on the couch again and pauses the anime as well as I wait for you/

@‡ Hyungwon /arches a brow at you again
/scoffs faintly when you timidly bite your lip and just shakes my head
/sighs
/watches you and then takes the remote, looking at you for a moment before returning my attention to the screen
Mhm okay /suddenly a bit nervous when you mention the amusement park, but I do my best to hide it and just stare at the screen
/finds the anime Kakegurui and starts episode one
You know this one? It's pretty cool, let's watch this /grins at you and shifts on the couch, making myself comfortable as the intro starts to play

@† Meto It's cool, right? I can't wait for more of her revenge on them.
/smiles, chuckles as you said that you're not familiar with it/
It's okay. It's not that popular but it's a really good one.
/grunts as you hit my thigh/
Ouch. . . what?
/purses my lips/
Uhmm. . . because it could be boring for you or whatnot. . .
/bites my lip/
We can just watch what you want.
/reaches for the remote and switches the TV to Netflix, hands you the remote and leans back, places the pillow on my lap whilst still hugging it/
I'm pretty sure your clothes will be dry in an hour or so then we can go to the amusement park.
/smiles/

@‡ Hyungwon ..nothing /tsks
/looks you over hugging your pillow and bites down a chuckle
A a ah I watched Glory too.. super cool /grins
/tilts my head to the side as I try to recall whether I know the second one but it's not ringing a bell/
Hm I don't know that one...
/arches a brow when you apologise
The are you apologising for?
/smacks you not-so-lightly on the thigh
Don't apologise for stuff like that. What you watch is fine.

@† Meto What was that?
/turns to face you and pulls a throw pillow and hugs it as I sit in a lotus position on the couch as I look at the screen then back at you/
Oh. What do I usually watch? Well, I don't really watch like, the local TV, I watch Netflix nowadays and this drama called Glory? The theme is really dark and it was based from a true story, at least the bullying part but not the revenge of whatnot.
/purses my lips/
What else. . . uhmm. . . I found this show Mr. Kim's Convenience Store that was sadly ended but it's a good show, family oriented and whatnot.
/rubs my nape then scratches the back of my head slowly/
I'm sorry. I kinda watch lame shows.
/eyesmile/

@‡ Hyungwon /glances at that hand, fighting the urge to swat it away
... /grumbles something incoherent

/looks over at you when you join me in front of the TV, watching a variety show
/sinks further into the couch and keeps watching
What do you usually watch? /asks once the show gets boring

@† Meto /as you said those words, I can't help but reach out to you and pat your head/
You don't have to be. . .
/mutters softly and continues what I'm doing and purses my lips as I keep washing the dishes/
I chose to be exiled, anyway.
/chuckles softly and as I feel you patting my , I can't help but blush profusely, feeling my ears heat up as well/
H-Hey. . .
/clears my throat and keeps cleaning around the kitchen and dining area, once done, I dry my hands and plopped on the couch beside you and just quietly watches what's on the TV right now/

@‡ Hyungwon O h /sighs and laughs in relief when you explain
/chuckles as you struggle to find the right words, only to fall silent myself
.... I'm still alone Hyun /mumbles
/abruptly stands up and stretches, grinning because i refuse to turn today into a pity party
/then, freezes and looks at you
You should be worried about yourself. I still live in a big city filled with people... you're the one 'exiled' to the sticks
/watches you for a moment and then leaves to watch tv, patting your on the way
/drops onto the couch and turns on the tv and starts watching something random, laughing occasionally while you labour away